Savage Garden
by Ink-chan
Summary: /AU-divergence/ For world peace, there is no other way. He doesn't need salvation, or forgiveness. Instead of dying a hero, Zuko chooses to live as a villain in a garden filled with madness and monsters. The world shall burn, kingdoms will fall before knowing peace.
1. Within Brackets

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in ATLA franchise, nor do I intend to make a profit off this.

Warnings: in the later chapters this will be "Zucest", but before that there will be a whole lot of angst along the way. If you feel uncomfortable, don't read. Also english isn't my first language so beware of grammatical errors.

Tags for this chapter: angst, flowers, nightmares

My first fic, enjoy!

Edited March 10, 2017.

* * *

 **Chapter 1:** **Within Brackets**

There is a strong stench in the air. It's an awful, acid odour; the scent is nauseating and sweet, putrid and sulphurous — along the lines of leather being tanned over a flame. He knows it well because he could never get the smell of _burning flesh_ out of his nose entirely. No matter how long he lived, the charcoal-like stench of burnt skin is just as sickening, always as if he were experiencing it for the first time.

"My Lord?" the adviser on his right repeated. "The Fire Lady is safe, unfortunately we could not retrieve the prince in time…" the man's eyes were downcast as if conveying his condolences.

"However, when we gain the support of the Earth Kingdom, it's only a matter of time before you reclaim your throne — and your son." The advisor on his left proclaimed as if his son was just an accessory to his throne!

Flames whipped in his clenched fists before it faded into embers. "Where is she?" he demanded, instead of condemning the man.

"P-pardon?" Both advisors asked simultaneously.

 _Incompetent._ The ruling class of his nation was incompetent at best.

For every second that Zuko was delayed his answer, storms of worry, frustration, and despair mixed into a mood that was foul. The dominant red of the royal airship made him see blood, it was nothing compared to the destruction below. Flames danced into the night with the burning breeze carrying the foul stench. It lingered like a cancer. His very nation has been infected. The corrosion won't stop until everything rots. The spread of the disease kills its host by slithering itself into the foundation — the heart of his nation — and soon his country will fall. Similar to the last stages of cancer, death is inevitable to prevent.

" _My wife,"_ Zuko snaps.

With understanding the left advisor instantly report, "In the Imperial Suite of the ship my Lord."

Zuko rubbed two fingers, hard, on his right temple. The throbbing has become more intense, making his frustration even more unbearable. "That's good…" he whispered more to himself before promptly dismissing all his guards and advisors.

"Sire…" His right advisor hesitate before announcing, "Fire Lady Mai requires your presence."

He inhaled sharply. "Did she request for it…?" he managed to choke out, his voice cracking at the end. Zuko suspected he is the last person she wished to see. After all, he was the _reason_ they had lost their son. He was not physically, or mentally prepared to face her wrath. It was best for them both, if he waited and gave Mai one final night of peace.

Peace away from him…

"…No, but with her current sta—" The right advisor was silenced with a strident whip of flames. Then with a sharp flick of his hand, the two advisors (who hadn't betrayed him _yet),_ left with the customary stance, palm slightly above the fist, while the four masked guards follow suit, demonstrating their understanding before bowing deeply to announce their leave.

Zuko didn't bother acknowledging it like he usually does. None can be trusted. Their motives for remaining with him were still unclear. Paranoia mixed with unquenchable despair made the feeling of overwhelming loss insufferable. His anger was passed the boiling point. Leniency. It became a crime when he allowed the parasites within his nation to spread due to his indecisiveness. All because of his failure to create countermeasures when the infestation not only targeted his life, but poisoned his courts worming their way into his very home to have kidnapped his son! Nevertheless, what he was most angry at was himself!

" _You're naive,"_ her vindictive snarl echo in his mind. Zuko could not help, but chuckle at the absolute truth in those words. She was right. _Azula was always right._ He just never wanted to admit it. It was easier to cope with his mistakes if he blamed her for everything that went wrong. She was his excuse and more than anything, he wished she was near to fix them…

Alone on the observatory deck, Zuko gazed up to see the crescent moon high in the night. He has always thought the moon seemed forlorn within an ocean of obsidian. Its existence was like his; as Fire Lord, he stands alone. It doesn't take long to figure out that every decision, no matter how insignificant, rested on his shoulders with his every words governing the state. The burden was oppressive and sometimes he wasn't confident enough to believe that his choices were correct. He was only one person making decisions for thousands!

 _It was suffocating._

Still, the position of Fire Lord comes with isolation and demands him to be almighty power — he must be better than he is… Sometimes, he feels like a monster trying to meet his nation's expectations. Zuko could never get used to such a position, _he doesn't want to be like his father…_ But mostly, he doesn't trust himself (he had made detrimental choices before) to follow through! He can't be what they wanted! And so their dissatisfaction exploded into anarchy. He was only human. He could not help feeling vulnerable like everyone else — even rulers have moments when they believed in things that go bump in the night... Now, with civil upheavals amok and his government overthrown, it was his duty to fix this mess! _Yet,_ he didn't know how!

He felt helpless. With his son's capture, Zuko realized he had not changed. He was a child who had thought he has matured into a man. That was not the case, he was still a _boy_ inside a greenhouse constructed by his mother and uncle.

The mere thought about his one-year-old son in the hands of the enemy crushed him into unbelievable despair — he was a failure as a father… he could not protect his family because he was weak… _powerless_ … Mai was right. His authority meant nothing, if he cannot protect the people he loved!

Yet no matter how hard, how desperate he tries… it always ends with chaos. Destruction. _War._ He just wanted to build a kind world where his son, his family, his friends can be at peace. But now, he has begun to think that this was _impossible_ without getting his hands dirty…

Zuko clutched his hands together and brought them to touch his forehead. It was a prayer for the safety of his son, for Agni's protection of his family, for him to be brave and toss all his uncertainties aside. At this very moment, a desolation was veiling overhead as fire burned the night — smothering his capital in fire and smoke.

It was still fresh in his mind. The flashes of thundering explosions and the loud cries of rebel forces rampaging through his palace. Screams were abounding in the mist of fear and deaths. Rain of blood soaked in steel — painting the palace in a new coat of vivid red. The air was thick with smoke, blood and heavy corrosive metals — embers and ashes, smelling of burning flesh. The numerous lights from the Capital blazing with flames and pleads for help. In his escape, he could not identify friends from foes. In the end, he watched the flames fly high into the night. It made him _nauseous;_ sick to his stomach with utter disgust at himself for having escaped to safety.

Like moths to a flame — _his empire burned._ His world in ruin, in ashes, in deaths. The palace he resides; the city he grew up in appeared _different_ from his memories. Perhaps because now it was washed in blood? The peaceful streets in screams? The marketplace, once lively were replaced with muted cries? The contrast was glaringly dreadful. His mind prick in sharp, throbbing pain like a tumor. His heart bled as if he'd been pierced by a spear. Zuko reach for his pounding heart, right hand griping the royal crimson robe to the point of tearing it.

His mind echoes the word: _failure._ He is — _lucky to be born_.

It had taken a massacre in his own home, a civil war within his nation for him to notice the state of his empire. In his desire for a world filled with peace and kindness — he unknowingly brought destruction to his homeland…

He realize this now. His choices were never right. No matter how hard he tries to fix his mistakes... He was always wrong! Why couldn't he be like _Azula?_ If it were his sister… she would never find herself in such a pitiful position!

 _For in a night, he has lost everything._

His vision blurred as tears recklessly flowed without his consent. Both hands covered his face as he tried to conceal his shame. His palms stifle his choking sobs. Fire consumes and he's afraid —

When Zuko glances up, the ruby hue of the sun has long set and the Fire Prince finds himself with hazy visions of the vast hallway. Red marble pillars lined the walls with large brazier lanterns towering above. Lights flickered while creating shadows to rich tapestries and elegant weaponry. In all its beauty and fine craftsmanship, there lied an unspoken dread that loomed over the silence.

During nightfall, Zuko never liked how eerie the scarlet palace seemed. As if monsters and secrets were lurking at every corner, under and behind every object with their lies and wide open fangs. He didn't want to admit how frightening and uncomfortable he was wandering alone in the grand halls. After all, it was a dramatic contrast from the safety of daylight where everything was _familiar._

To say he is lost in the crimson labyrinth, was a huge understatement. Whichever way he turns, the imperial symbol of his nation was identical on every banner of the walls, similar shades of cerise and oppressive flames greeted him with hollow warmth. He has been wandering numerous corridors for nearly an hour and he still hadn't found his mother's chambers or even crossed paths with any servants!

His frustration increased to the extent that he wanted to scream. He _needed_ to find his mother. His mother would surely know what to do about his frequent nightmares. His insomnia needed to be cured! Nowadays, they weren't just dreams of places he'd never seen, people he'd never met, knowledge he shouldn't know — they escalated to the point where _reality blurred!_ He had occasions where time seemed to pass without his knowledge and often, he just didn't recall what he was doing, or why his emotions were out of control! Very often he find himself crying without comprehending why he felt such overwhelming grief and the pricking pain in his heart. It took him awhile, but Zuko finally got ahold of himself to notice he had torn yet another attire.

Fear was an understatement in his condition. If this goes on… he's afraid he'll hurt someone and eventually lose his mind! He doesn't know if he should laugh or cry at this point. Crazy might be putting it lightly…

As the young prince rounded a corner, he felt sudden relief when he saw a maid lingering in the darkness up ahead. Oddly, the path was pitch black without the usual illumination of flames. The only light source was from the glow of the full moon shining through the large windows as the girl concealed herself in its shadows. It was strange to see her by herself, when it was required for every servant to be in pairs at night.

But Zuko was more interested in escaping the lonely confines of the stone walls than to questioned the woman's motive. However, he froze in mid-step when he saw the dark double doors with carvings of majestic dragons on each side. He instinctively hid behind one of the marble pillar when the maid scanned her surroundings before opening the large mahogany doors of his father's chambers.

With wide eyes and slow retreating steps, Zuko ran. He justified that _it was dark,_ that he _didn't see anything._ He ran until he bumped into something. The Fire Prince glanced up and was struck still with dread. His face pale considerably with every backward step.

In the moonlight, stood a person with a frightening scar over their left eye, yet the transparent spirit displays a rueful half smile on its lips that appears truly weary. The scar that pulled on its cheek when it smiled showed cracks of hidden regret. There was a deep rooted sorrow to the man that Zuko could not help, but dispel his caution to reach out to the spirit.

On closer inspection, Zuko realized the forlorn man had not only the large burn on his face but numerous scars on his arms — different shapes and proportions — which could not be seen with his faded, dirty rugs of clothing. The ugly blemishes and disfigurements was coiling themselves like tattoos throughout his pale skin. Even at Zuko's age, it was glaringly clear that the man had been tortured. And it wasn't hard to imagine that a person who died from torment would haunt the palace as a vengeful spirit.

The young prince crossed his arms, mustered up all his courage and announced, "Tell me who did this to you and I'll deal with them." Zuko had forgotten about his earlier fear as he ended his sentence with a bright smile. Not many children his age were able to help spirits. His actions would make his mother proud! She did say he should always extend a hand to the weak.

However, the being unexpectedly kneels to his level and embraces him. Zuko stood frozen, not because of its close proximity, but at the spirit's wretched tone and the cryptic words it left behind.

Why _apologize?_

"Dumdum, why are you crying?" Azula's voice cuts through the silence and Zuko jumped in frightened surprise.

He stared at his sister as moonlight cast shadows of windowpanes over them like bars of a cage. For a long moment he gauges if she was real. From the obvious smirk to the curious spark in her amber eyes — it seemed like she was. Of all the people who could have discovered him, she was the last person he wanted it to be. Yet, she always managed to find him in the most embarrassing of situations.

He frowns while he fiercely rubs the tears in his eyes away before stating, "Dirt got into my eyes."

Unlike her usual antics of teasing him when she finds him weak and vulnerable, Azula only stared with uncanny eyes that seemingly sees through everything before she mouthed, _'Liar'._

' _Look who's talking'_ he wanted to say, but didn't.

She then turned, expecting him to follow her. To him, it was a display of superiority.

Zuko could only follow quietly from behind with eyes downcast. Even though he was the older brother, even though it was his duty to act as the older sibling… He hated it. Their relationship. He hated it!

And of course, Azula has a way of knowing without him uttering a single word. It was weird. She was weird.

Sometimes he wished she could be normal. But she wasn't, so he didn't even bother asking why she was wandering around so late at night.

* * *

One humid afternoon, Zuko accidentally witnessed his sister in the courtyard stomping, ripping and burning their mother's favorite crimson roses in the center of the miniature garden. The Prince knew he should have stopped her, but he didn't. No one, and he means no one could stop her when she's like this. It was one of her typical attention grabbing tantrums.

 _Always the spoiled princess._ Azula knew she wouldn't get in trouble, no matter what she does. She could ask for anything — _burn_ anyone. After all, she has father's love. Who would ever dare speak or even defy a person as cold-blooded and uncaring as his little sister?

Being father's favorite must be nice, it has probably gotten to her head for her to act so hateful. Her ego was so bloated that he wanted to pop her little bubble to fix that twisted personality of hers. She would only get worse if this continues.

"What are _you_ looking at?" she spat out. Eyes fierce and glaring. For a second he thought he saw tears brimming in them. That was preposterous, Azula never cries.

But he didn't have time to ponder on the implausible, since he had a more immediate issue at hand, such as her ferocity directed at him. The intense rage and blinding anger in her amber eyes were exactly like a wildfire spreading heat and venom into the surrounding air. Red clothes were in disarray and her ebony hair was not in its typical bun. Her features were in a hardened scowl, lips dripping scarlet and hands bloody with rose thorns and crimson petals stained in dark vermillion. It was surreal how much Azula was dyed by the color — how perfectly it suited her.

With wide eyes and a near tremble in his voice he mumbles, "W-where's mother?"

That very question made the roses in her bloody palms burned to ashes. Flames ignited into threatening heat as her eyes screamed murder.

"Don't you even _dare_ mention that woman in front of me!" Azula exclaimed as she rip another hand full of roses. "Why? Why? _**Why?! Why is it never enough?!**_ _"_ The flowers in her hand burned, hereyes tightly closed with her head downcast and body trembling as she screeched to the point where her voice practically cracked in its intensity.

Zuko stood, speechless. _She was never this bad._ Or had he never noticed?

He watched morbidly fascinated as Azula slowly gather herself together to the sister he envied and despised all in one.

"Leave!" Azula growled at the top of her lungs as she started throwing large and very accurate fireballs his way. It was obvious at this point that reason had left her and only anger fuelled her actions.

He had escaped before witnessing her thrashing through the dirt and amid the burning roses with tears flowing down her cheeks and the desperate cry that she disguises through her screams.

"Die!Die!Die! _Die!_ _ **Why won't they die?!**_ _"_

She hid it so well through the mask she wore, the words she says, the ability she has over her emotions that he never once looked back.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, he found his mother by the turtle-duck pond. She sat there still like the surface of the water with distant eyes and an indecipherable expression on her features. His mother is always calm and gentle, never raised her voice unnecessarily, while always maintaining a quiet and dignified grace. She was royalty, a Fire Princess and _bloodline to the Avatar Roku,_ yet her presence was more like a wallflower contrary to those lavish ladies at court who were too greedy for their own good. Sometimes, Zuko wished his mother would tell him why she makes such miserable expressions as if she was deeply troubled, instead of giving him a reassuring smile. Every time she does, he felt a little more worthless inside.

She is his pillar of support, yet she doesn't depend on him enough to entrust him with her worries. Whenever he is at his weakest, the darkness lurking in the deepest parts of his mind, the whisper that lies dormant — the thoughts he would never admit, was the fact that his mother can be _cruel_. The extent of her kindness — her love and how she portrays it… A bitter smile crosses his lips for a second before he abruptly shakes his head. It was strange. He never considered such thoughts before!

As always, she greets him with loving arms and a gentle smile. Her troubled expression had vanished as if it never existed.

With a hesitated breath, he wanted to ask what was wrong, but instead he said, "Azula is burning flowers in your garden." That… wasn't what he wanted to say. However, there was a voice whispering to him that his actual concern would fall on deaf ears and with it will come that reassuring smile. The smile that makes his worth crumble. The thing that kills him more than Azula's hurtful words, father's clear reproach and himself for knowing it to be true was that hatful smile on his mother's face!

Surprisingly his mother did not even respond and continues to feed the turtle-duck. It was as if she has completely given up on Azula's inextinguishable temper.

What she said instead was, "You seemed tired my Prince."

Zuko tensed as his lips tightened into a straight line, he brought his knees closer to himself as he wraps his arms around them. Both of his hands were clenched into trembling fists. His eyes were glossy and red around the rims with dark circles under them. He had to admit he looked worse than Azula's current state.

"Are you still having those dreams dear?"

He slowly nods in a weary manner.

"What did you see?" She asked reassuringly.

He was hesitant before hollowly asserting, "The siege at Ba Sing Se will crease due to Lu Ten's death." It was a statement. At this point, after four months of these bizarre dreams, it was certain that the things he sees will come true. He couldn't sleep—no, he doesn't want to sleep! But the nightmares haunts, clings and tears at him even when he's awake! Medication, sleeping pills, drugs to numb the senses were ineffective when the dreams became so realistic to the point that the servants even see his indiscriminate paranoia. He couldn't differentiate what was real, who was real! His thoughts were clashing against each other to see who would prevail. It was murky, undefined as if everything was being merge together. Changes he wasn't aware of, others notice. He was fading from reality. The voices… those whispers that only he could hear… it terrifies him… the fact that he might be insane.

"Perhaps… this time it was a dr—"

"No! The first time when I told you Instructor Kunyo will be sent to the colonies, you said it's only my imagination — but it happened! Or Azula burning her handmaid after she caught her stealing? That came true too! Or what about when I was almost abducted in my own bed!? Stop saying I'm dreaming! Your reassurance means nothing when the things I saw happened! Will Lu Ten have to die too before you believe me?!" He was breathing heavily and realized too late what he had said, before abashedly apologizing.

His mother calmly waited for him to finish before saying, "If this concerns you to such an extent, I will send your dear Uncle a letter to prioritize Lu Ten's safety."

"Will Uncle even believe it?" Zuko answered hollowly as he wraps himself further in despair before mumbling, "Everyone thinks I'm crazy." _And maybe they're right._ He could not help crying as he clings to his mother for comfort.

"My dear, surely this will pass…" then she adds as she tightens her embrace, "I don't think you're crazy." She then kisses both his cheeks.

"But if this reaches father…" he trails his sentence horrified at the mere possibilities. The outcomes would be horrendous. He just knows it will end in fire and pain… and eventually an asylum.

His mother made him look up into her eyes as she gently pinches his cheek to firmly proclaim, "I will protect you."

Usually that would assure him, instead Zuko frowned as he states, "No, you won't."

Ursa, momentarily shocked at her son's odd behavior inquired, "Why would you say that my son? I have never failed you before."

His golden eyes knowing as his lips trembled. "Because you will leave." It was a proclamation.

She was taken aback with how his tone sounded so absolute that Ursa had to search her son's golden eyes to find the answer and it suddenly clicked. Ursa lets a gentle smile naturally grace her lips as she declare, "I'll just have to prove those dreams wrong."

"Promise?" The prince still seemed skeptical, yet his large, pleading eyes spoke of hope.

"I promise," and she wraps her pinky with his.

* * *

Zuko rest his hand on the stone pillar as he smiles a little sadly at his mother's abandoned garden over the balcony. The small miniature garden has long been forgotten after his mother's disappearance. His first order as Fire Lord was to search for her. However, even with the vast network of his empire, it was a futile attempt seeing as the trail ended in the Forgotten Valley.

Eventually Zuko was convinced by his wife and friends that maybe his mother doesn't wish to be found. As Fire Lord and a husband, he now has to protect the things that he could reach. But what really had him abandon his search was his wife's pregnancy. He needed to protect his new family. And he figured his mother wouldn't want to be dragged back to the royal courts bundled in conspiracies and greed. In its pure form, it was a savage garden.

It was clear that life in the palace never suited her. His mother never seemed to truly smile or held any happiness in a life desired by many. Rather she disregarded luxuries for a much simpler life. She was a person who would tend her garden or feed the turtle-ducks than attend social gatherings, play the deception game among nobles or try to stop Ozai's affairs. In a sense, mother only survived the savage nature of nobility by escaping to her own world; a cage she built for herself and occasionally she would let him wander into that perfect space. If she hadn't left as she did, Ursa would surely die in these walls.

Unlike him, maybe Azula realized the extent of their mother's illness for her to try and help in the only way she knew how… burning that perfect illusion that Ursa puts herself in — the utter fact that their mother wasn't really living, but acting as the perfect wife, as a perfect mother, having perfect children — all of it hinted at her avoiding reality, for she did not acknowledge that she was living in an imperfect world...

Mother was always _playing house_ and his sister was keen on noticing the little things.

Azula didn't tried to act like the daughter their mother wanted, rather she stubbornly rejected it. Like mother and daughter, both woman were stubborn. It was impossible for Azula to give in because everything their mother stood for was weakness in her eyes. For his sister who despised being weak, rebelled against Mother's world by throwing rocks at harmless turtle-ducks, burning her dolls, tormenting her brother and destroying flowers that grew in their mother's garden. His sister who grew up trusting no one and believing that fear was the only reliable way to gain… became unable to depend on others, unable to be honest with herself, unable to cope with imperfections… In a sense, Azula grew up to be just like Mother… Unlike Ursa who escaped, Azula truly did died in these walls with her perfect world shattered and her sanity with it.

Even now, the garden stood unattended since the day Azula burned everything down. A wasteland contrasting the rest of the lavish courtyard. In all its essence, it was an ugly, dark patch that lied forgotten in the past. He wondered why his father left such blemishes in his own home when the man sought perfection? Why no one brought it to his attention? Why until only recently does it lingers in his consciousness? It bothers him to the point that he took time out of his hectic schedule to summon the royal gardener to grow something in the blackened spot that was the heart of the garden. Maybe this time instead of red roses, white chrysanthemum would be better…

"Zuko!" A voice intruded his thoughts. He turns to look at the source and wondered when she had arrived.

"Do you even comprehend the state of our nation? Revolutionaries are rallying people to overthrow you as they march to your doorstep! Let's not forget your father's loyal followers are trying to assassinate you — but instead you're worry about Azula's escape!" _That's right._ Azula left a note saying she'll find Mother. Hopelessly and futilely — a wasted effort in all honesty when even he could not find her. His sister even when placed in an asylum for the criminally insane, still maintained her overbearing confidence. An attitude that knows what she wants and what she has to do to get it. The very opposite of him.

"What about your throne? Better yet, the safety of your _son who is only 9-months-old?!"_ He looks at her in puzzlement before realizing that it was Mai, his usually apathetic wife. He pinches the bridge of his nose, hard, before releasing a long sigh. _Right._ They were arguing about the current state of affairs. However, what his wife missed was that he has been in such conferences with narrow-minded generals and admirals since morning till late afternoon. His mood wasn't equipped to handle another argument right now. Not when he has to prepare documents for the demilitarization zones in the colonies as well as the revision to the Harmony Restoration Movement. _That_ campaign was one of the major factor that brought his reign to such a state in the first place. Who the hell thought it was a great idea again? Zuko would very much like to burn the people responsible.

But Zuko doesn't even have a second to entertain the notion, since his normally indifferent wife persisted the issue and before long had him pacing around the room, justifying his recent actions to her.

"Azula is my family too. If the revolutionaries capture her, she would be _killed._ " He stopped to consider the possibilities and for a minute his mind imagines her head on a stake, parading in the streets. "Not to mention her unfavorable standings with the Earth Kingdom…" Images of her being incarcerated without a proper trial, or _accidentally_ killed. "To the fact that it would be disastrous if the rebels from The New Ozai Society catches her." He didn't want to ponder on the idea before announcing, "she is only safe—"

" _With you?"_ Mai spoke sarcastically before she planted both hands on her hip to bit out, "Look around you Zuko, can you not hear the discontentment of your people? The protests and rallying outside your walls? How could anyone believe there is safety in _your company?"_

"Then what do _you_ suggest I do?" He was trying his best! Can't she see that?!

Her next statement was like a physical slap as if to demand him to do better, that his best wasn't good enough. "Tell your friends and your Uncle to stop searching for Azula." She continues, "If you know her as well as I do, she won't be caught easily. What's best is to use the Avatar to quell the Earth Kingdom's discontentment with the Fire Nation and to prevent an all out war." She releases a long sigh before adding, "We both know — the _entire_ population comprehends that with the nation's current disorder, we will lose. The Earth Kingdom is only waiting for a justification to wage war on us! And our people are too proud to let _that happen._ This is why you must do _what is necessary_ to protect what you hold dear." She pauses, stare at him and said, "Have your Uncle here to ease the state of the capital and use his network to gather trustworthy men for war."

He stares at his wife between mid-shock to mid-horror before whispering, "On who exactly…?"

With clear, determine eyes, a face that's as cold as stone, she crossed her arms. It was very obvious what she will declare next. _"Everyone who questioned your reign."_

Zuko swallow hard. It felt like something was stuck in his awfully dry throat. His body froze in unparalleled bewilderment. For a moment, he could not understand why he came to love Mai and question if he truly understand the woman he loved.

Everything was crumbling faster than he could hold. All his frustrations, anger and fear came out in a downward punched on the balcony. He knew she was right; he knows it, but there must be a more peaceful resolu—

Suddenly screams rang below.

He immediately looks down and Mai is right beside him when she lets out a horrifying gasp. Even from this height, Zuko recognizes the crescent flame head piece; the symbol of the nation's Fire Lady.

Perhaps this was why his father left it as it was. Why he couldn't find her anywhere and why Azula _won't ever_ find her.

For she never left these walls.

 _On his third year as sovereign, Zuko found his mother buried six feet under._

He woke and found his sister staring intensely at him. Amber eyes concentrated on his every movement with his face expressing a clear discomfort. She looked younger than he remembered. Before he could utter anything, Azula spoke, "You didn't seem surprised when they announced Lu Ten's death. I figured a crybaby like you would be brawling their eyes out, instead I find you sleeping so well in the flower bed."

He blinks. "Why are you here?" _I've been searching for you everywhere. I've found mother. You would never guess where she was._

He noticed how Azula's lips were slightly opened as if to say something before she tightly closed them, instead she reached out to pinch both of his cheeks. He immediately whack her hands away and demanded, "What the hell was that for?"

"Are you awake now?" She rolled her eyes and continue, "Let me be blunt, Zuzu. The servants say you've gone crazy. Is that true?" Her voice suddenly penetrated his thoughts like a thousand knives.

Anger flooded him as he jumped to his feet and yelled, "NO! Now go away!"

His sister blinked in momentary surprise before uttering, "Dumdum, wha—"

"I'm not crazy! _You're the one that's crazy!_ " He furiously pointed at her, not comprehending what he had said.

"Zuzu, you must be quite delirious to declare that I'm crazy," she paused to intensify her next phrase, "When it's obvious that you're the one losing your mind." Her eyes had narrowed; she was on the offensive as cold anger washed over her.

"Stop saying that! I know it's you! I'm the one who—" he stopped himself as his thoughts caught up with him. There was no Sozin's Comet, he never fought Azula in an Agni Kai, she _wasn't_ Fire Lord. As a matter of fact, she doesn't even look fifteen! Either he's losing his mind like she said or he could see into the future! That insane concept had him burst out laughing!

"What's so funny?" Azula asked cautiously while staring up at him in — no, it can't be. His sister is cold, uncaring, _cruel._ The look of worry from her shouldn't even exist.

"Nothing, just that I'm pretty sure you'll become crazy." He smirked.

She however, didn't find it amusing as her frown morphed into a grimace. Her small body was shaking, he assumed it must have been in rage. Zuko took a few steps back and readied his stance. One thing he learnt was that he should never turn his back on Azula, especially when she is specifically angry at him.

"You don't _deserve_ any filberts from me." Her voice bit out harsh, yet somehow weak as if his words had actually hurt her.

Zuko blinked. He didn't expect her comeback to be so lacking.

"Zuzu you—" He hated that nickname! Why was she always calling him that and irritating him with it? Always considering herself above him and everyone else! He just wanted her to leave him alone! With his best glare, Zuko growled out, "Leave Azula! _I don't want anything to do with you or your stupid filbert."_ It sounded harsher than he intended, but it had the desired affect as he saw her wide eyes and head now downcast.

Only a second later he felt something small and hard hit his forehead.

"Ouch! What did you do—" He quickly evaded being barbecued and saw her retreating back as she ran off. Zuko rubs the sore spot on his forehead and notices the object that she had thrown at him. It was a small hazelnut that was rolling on the ground near the purple hyacinths he had slept on. Zuko glare at it in distaste before crushing it beneath his feet.

Nothing good ever comes out of getting involved with Azula.

* * *

 **A/N:** At this point, congratulations to readers who realized this to be some sort of **time travel fic.** Most time travel fics goes right into the character having gone to the past into their younger body or meeting their younger self. My approach differs, since I wanted to establish the transition with merging of the character's past and present. It helps shows the contrasts and similarities the character develops and maintain as they transition.

As you all must know by now, the garden symbolizes the Fire Nation.

 **Now for the symbolisms of the flowers:**

Red Roses-the obvious meaning is love. They're Ursa's roses, signifying Azula's desperate attempts at crushing her love for her mother and her mother's love for Zuko. Also because she wants to gain her mother's attention since she can't receive her mother's love. In Ursa's case, planting deep red roses convey heartfelt regret and sorrow.

White Chrysanthemum-has many meanings in different cultures, such as respect and honour in America or life and rebirth in Asia. In this case, it is used as a device to foreshadow the discovery of the corpse, since most Asian cultures uses this flower to give to the dead. It's also shows Zuko's acceptance of his mother's choice for them to never meet since he could not find her. The darken spot bothers him because he saw it as the state of his family and his inability to govern his nation; a foreshadowing of a bleak future. This is why he wanted to cover the state of the garden with flowers that represents happiness, love, longevity, joy.

Filbert-symbolizes reconciliation.

Nuts-stupidity.

Purple Hyacinths-the Victorian interpreted it as change. In addition, it represents deep sorrow and grief as well as asking for forgiveness.

The placement of the filbert beside the purple hyacinths portrays how both Azula and Zuko wants to mend their relationship, but sadly they fought instead because they cannot communicate and express themselves leading to misunderstandings. In this sense, I tried to show how truly tragic their relationship is.

Look forward to the next chapter of Savage Garden! **REVIEWS** would be helpful for a faster update :) I look forward to your thoughts!


	2. Kingdom Come

**Edited March 10th, 2017.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Kingdom Come**

Mother thinks he hasn't noticed. That he is too young, too foolishly absorbed in his own misfortune to see her pain. But it's hard pretending to be ignorant of something that is already apparent. Zuko cannot help but see how she often glances passed the palace gates, too long to be a coincidence. How her eyes dimmed when she tends to the fire lilies a little hastily than with the other flowers.

Although he's young, Zuko does know that favoritism is ingrained in everyone. Father is a prime example and Mother is no exception. It's clear she held specific distaste for the fire lilies. But unexpectedly, she doesn't acknowledge this because she never misses a day to water them — the only indications are the slightest tilt of her lips with her eyes being a clear contrast to the brilliant colors of the lilies. And Zuko wonders why she even bothers when she can simply be rid of them. But he knows she won't because she is his mother, and his mother is considerate, caring and wise.

What he didn't understand was why Mother repeatedly recites how she loved the Fire Lilies as much as she loves every other flower in her garden. As if it was a mantra to convince herself. To him, it sounded like none of the flowers had even mattered. As if their purpose was a distraction to allow Mother to hide from the real problems. It is her escape, that Mother continues to care for them equally as if they were her own children. Favoring one above the other, nurturing and kind, but a kindness that could _kill_ because they come to depend on such kindness to survive.

As of late, Zuko came to understand less of his mother. For Mother doesn't notice that she often speaks cryptically if something displeases her because rather than displaying what she felt, she shrouds it with an image of impeccable neutrality. And he becomes confused when the Head Maid reminiscence about the beautiful wedding between his parents and how the fire flowers were exhibit in abundant, symbolizing the prosperity and eternal fire of their marriage. Contrasting the Head Maid's gleeful nostalgia, Mother forms a slow smile. She held him tightly while uttering that she loves the lilies as much as she loves her marriage. In his opinion, his parent's matrimony was more lifeless than the blackened patch of burnt roses.

"Has it gotten better?" His mother's voice pulled him from his thoughts.

The young prince gazed down at his mother as she carefully, almost meticulously clips the leaves off the colorful arrangements of azaleas. It was routine for him to watch his mother attend to her garden after breakfast. A small corner of his mind finds it humiliating for a Crown Prince of the mighty Fire Nation to be spending most of his time surrounded by flowers. But he loves his mother more than he cared for his image.

"Yes, thanks to the Royal Physician," Zuko mumbled out in embarrassment.

His mother laughed melodiously as she looks up at him before teasingly stating, "That's what my son gets for carelessly sleeping in a bed of hyacinth."

Zuko puffed in irritation. In his defense, he didn't know that hyacinth bulbs were poisonous enough to cause skin irritation! Instead of teasing him further, his mother gazed down at the green leaves of the azaleas and ushered, "Flowers are beautiful, but they can be just as deadly." That rueful expression briefly brushed her face, but in a flash she looked up with a gleeful smile and chirped, "You're lucky it wasn't worse."

Zuko knew that this was his que to alter his features into that of a childish frown. Lately it has become a routine. It was getting easier by the days to change his expression and conceal what he truly felt. In all honesty, he was afraid what lies beneath his mother's mask so he created his own façade. He acted as if the dreams no longer haunted him, that he has regained normalcy, that he was well and that he was still oblivious to his surroundings; he acts as the son she wanted. Along the way it became his method of survival. Similar to his mother who wears a mask to separate herself from the world, his mask allows him to played a naïve child, ignorant of the world, weak as to pose no threat. This way he can protect himself and her. The walls have ears, and spies were everywhere. Even now, he sense numerous eyes monitoring them. This game of pretence is like a sport for the people of the Royal Capital. Only recently had he realized that these games will never end. Everyone he had interacted with wore such a façade, and he had been foolish to have been naked in front of such snakes!

She was humming as he watched her steady hands cutting the leaves of the azaleas, like how she often trims the thorns off the roses. Oddly as if crippling organisms from protecting themselves, making them as docile as possible. Zuko pitied them. Their armors were stripped, leaving them defenseless to the dangers. But what is truly terrifying is that Mother doesn't realize her cruel actions. What is worse, is that she truly considers this to be for their own sake. Yet, the most horrifying thing is that rather than sadness or guilt he felt, it was trepidation that spoke.

But Zuko refuses to speak up. He's too afraid he might fracture their status quo.

Instead he gets better at perfecting his mask, making the facades of others more apparent. Due to this, he became reluctant to dig deeper under her mask because if he edges her any further, the Mother he knows and loved might break entirely. _Ursa's mask was crumbling._ But she refuses to see it. Like blind faith, she believes she can obscure the pain in her eyes, the distant gaze she has when she's at court and how unnatural it was for her to have a face of indifference when she's close to Father. His parents don't have a marriage; it was a contract.

Zuko sees these things and instead of questioning her so he could help, he does nothing. Because there is nothing he could do when she gives him that reassuring smile. She sees him as a child to be protected, but Zuko doesn't understand what she was protecting him from. Why she wanted to retain his innocence when it was necessary for him to face the ugly nature of the world rather than feel the devastation of it later. It would be far worse for him if he remains naïve only to be chewed by the wolves and be disposed of in the future.

But Mother doesn't know. She will never know because she is blinded by faith and the beauty she deludes herself into. She refuses to see reality because the world she created through her eyes, and the mask she worn, has protected her. She doesn't see that her sanctuary has been infested. That he, became contaminated.

* * *

It was a hazy memory, but he remembered being in a familiar setting before. It was a cloudy day just like this one when he saw Azula crouching near thick acres of trees. He was standing in the same spot on the veranda staring into the sky and wishing for the rain to soak her like a wet rat. Hoping to Agni she would catch a cold, a disease, anything so he wouldn't have to see her, hear her or breath the same air as her! Yet he doesn't have a single memory of having once approach her.

For he doesn't care what she does. He rather remain far away from her as possible. Still, she is his sister, and he can't allow her to harm an injured creature. He cleared his throat to loudly indicate his presence. "Leave the bird alone Azula."

She didn't even glance up at his approaching steps as she states, "It's only a matter of time before it perishes." As she finished, bright orange flames blaze in her palm. "Better to end the suffering sooner rather than later."

"STOP!" He used his entire body as a shield to defend the small animal and thankfully her hand stopped before it burned more than his clothes.

"Zuzu, move it." Her tone was even, cold but oddly it didn't hold its usual condescending affect.

"No," he glares up at her with eyes of defiance. _The weak dies and the strong prevails,_ something hissed in his mind. But he did not listen.

She held his gaze with fire alight in her eyes and flames still burned hotly in her palm. In his state she could injure him any moment and he would be helpless to stop it.

She huffs while extinguishing the flames with both hands clenched at her side. She turns and before going utter, "This is why you're weak Zuzu. Just like mother and her transparent act. People like you are the worst."

A slithering green envy snapped its jaw open and what flew out of his mouth was a spiteful growl. "You'd never understand. You, who has everything and need nothing is incapable of understanding. People like you are mon—" He bit his lips hard drawing blood.

The wind blew with an indomitable beat of silence. For she knew what he stopped himself from saying… as always he couldn't stop himself in time. Again he could not fix his mistake. The pressure was heavy in the cold breeze with the drizzle of rain. Time slowed for a long pause before she shattered it with a neutral, unaffected tone.

"Well, I'm glad. I wouldn't want to be you." It was only whispered briefly before she coolly strides off.

Zuko stared solemnly at her back before switching his attention to the small twitching bird on the grass with its broken wings and shortness of breath and he couldn't help but think it's him. The young prince gently picks it up, noticing immediately that its small body was turning cold and Zuko cradle it to his chest as he ran to the palace infirmary in drench clothes and unnoticeable tears.

Azula will never understand. The weak struggle and fight to survive, to live a moment longer. Because nothing ever works his way, he comes to anticipate trouble, to expect hardship and to struggle with all his might for his rights to exist.

Life has never been easy for him. So what's wrong with trying to save others like himself? He knew, because he could see Azula the apple in the eyes of thousands, flawless and untouchable will one-day fall with clipped wings and a broken soul. Because she never understood the depths of failure as well as he has, maybe then, at her lowest she will comprehend why he did what he did.

* * *

 _Wrong._

How he was conducting his stances was completely and miserably wrong. How did he let these mistakes go unnoticed till now? It explains why his firebending wasn't progressing. The basic sets of kata he had practiced until now was simply flawed, uncorrected by his lousy instructors. No wonder he was having a hard time bending and proceeding to the advance sets that his sister probably already mastered.

 _Again._

Precision and fluency. Being offensive while taking notes of the surroundings to evade. A necessary requirement for a strong defense. To excel in the arts of firebending, most firebenders only focus on initiating the attack, disregarding defense and that is their failings. But he knows how to correct such flaws, if only he can get it right.

Low punch, quick spin, high kick then add pressure on the heel before rotating one-eighty to leap and strike the air while spin— _damn, loss balance_ —he fell gracelessly on his back with an irritated grunt. _Again,_ he told himself. His mind knows these advance katas blindfolded, yet his body couldn't follow through! To make it worse, his eyes gets into the habit of surveying his surroundings making him lose balance during his midair spins!

With the basic sets, he could easily perform them on the second try after correcting himself on his first. But when proceeding to the advance katas, it became clear that his body was unused to the exertion; most of it consisted of midair spins while executing roundhouse kicks, butterfly kicks, tornado kicks, a bolley kick and finishing it with a windmill kick. He needed to perfect the five kicking techniques before applying his fire and finishing with a fist-to-palm bow.

Low punch, quick spin, high kick — _too high, too fast_ — he kneed himself in the nose and blood spurted out. Zuko growled as he angrily wiped his nose with his sleeves and inserted tissues to plug the flow of blood. To say he was exasperated before was nothing compared to now. After all the years he thought he had worked hard, suffered on improving himself, putting in more effort than anyone, it was an understatement to say that he was disappointed at the results. Was that all his hard work had summed to? He never felt so worthless. All his efforts had amounted to nothing… Zuko shakes his head. No. He has an understanding of his faults, he just needed to correct them. It was better than ignorance and continuing to waste valuable time and efforts.

 _Again._

The solution was simple. He'll just have to beat it into his body to the point he could do it in his sleep. Most of it was just recollection and muscle memory — to achieve his desired results, he needed practice. After all, practice makes perfect. With little contemplation the Fire Prince realized the necessary measures of fixing his form is more than just practicing continuously without correcting his forms if he truly desires to compete against Azula. What motivates him is to wipe the sheer smug from her arrogant face. He has all night anyways. Since sleep doesn't come easy to him now.

 _Again._

 _Again._

 _Again._

 _Again._

It became late when he considered retiring for the night as his body ached and his muscles screamed in protest. Exhaustion was a huge understatement in his condition. Then out of the corner of his eyes, the young prince saw a faint glow hidden in the thick trees near the training grounds. Instinctively he propelled his feet to dash to the source. _Enemies? Assassins? Thefts?_ He needed to assess the situation before notifying the Guards. Zuko easily melted into the darkness. Oddly like brushing his teeth, it was an automatic respond for him to blend into the shadows seamlessly and flawlessly as if he had done it for years; his breaths merged with the cold wind and his body nimble as he peeked at the source of the light.

There in the forest clearing was Azula, covered in sweat with bright orange flames swirling in the breeze as she practiced the advance set of katas he was just performing. Compared to him, her movements were elegant and her stances were graceful with flawless execution of the techniques as she ended the dance with her personal touch of a beautiful flaming butterfly kick. This would surely strike awe in any audience because it definitely stirred a sense of respect in him. Who knew the person everyone praised as a prodigy has such a side? She must've been doing this routinely — months or even years of endless practice! It surely answered why she was up so late when she discovered him lost in the palace 3 months ago. Now _he_ was embarrassed for spouting such insults about his sister never having to work hard for anything, while he has to put in numerous hours to barely reach her. He has to admit, she was admirable. But she will never hear that from him. Never.

"Again." He heard her say tiredly as flames ignited in her fists as she proceeds with the initial stance. He couldn't believe it. Everything was perfect, yet from her tone she was clearly unsatisfied with it. His sister wasn't nearly done. He watched her attempt it numerous more times, endlessly and flawlessly every single time. With her every kicks and punches, a fire lit brighter inside him.

Zuko turn and clenches his hands as he looks down at his feet. He never been so utterly ashamed of himself, felt so humiliated as he soundlessly retreated back to his own hidden area. He looked up with determined eyes and a wide grin. His body could withstand a little more pain.

He wasn't beaten yet.

* * *

 _Golden eyes flashed open in a jolt of sharp pain. Zuko groans as he felt the migraine worsening due to the bright flickering of lights in his vision — he panics. His left side was completely black. Zuko reached to tug at the cloth that hindered his sight, joints protesting in agony along the way. The simple action overwhelms him with nausea, making the ceiling swirl in a tango of colors. This was far worse than the normal night terrors._

" _Dumdum, don't be stupid. It's there for a reason," a distant voice rebuked him. He could recognize that patronizing tone anywhere._

 _The Fire Prince willed himself to turned onto his right side as his bleary eye focused on the source. Azula was sitting beside his bed watching him with unimpressed eyes. Her glaze calculating and distant. But, what stood out were her crimson lips and the way the kohl lined her eyes. He still wasn't used to her applying make-up. Even though it has been months, Zuko wasn't sure why he remains unease by it._

 _His eleven-year-old sister raised an elegant eyebrow before edging closer to whisper, "Well, isn't this pleasant. You're quiet for once, when it's not_ ** _required._** _"_

 _Zuko doesn't understand. He wanted to ask 'What happened?' but instead, his voice came out as a dry croak._

" _Zuzu, Father has taken your sight. Not your voice."_

 _His eye widened. Time began to stir into motion as everything flooded back like the forward pull of head impacting pavement from a fall. Flashes of him cowering on the ground. Fear and terror overwhelming his senses. Logic and rationality left him as he trembled in utter defeat. Intense heat with numerous eyes on him making it oppressive to stand. Sweat mixed with tears flooding in an indistinguishable mess down his face as he plead. He was blabbering and frantic, unsure and weak. Hopelessly, helplessly pathetic._

 _His father was before him indomitable; radiating power and spreading fear. It was impossible. An Agni Kai with his father was impossible. Impossible! Impossible!_ ** _Impossible!_**

 **"** ** _Stand up and fight boy!"_**

 _How could he battle against his father? He could never raise a hand to his father's might! It was impossible, impossible — the next thing he knew was excruciating pain, extreme agony as he clung desperately for life, begging for help. It hurts! He was dying! Help! Someone help! He didn't even comprehend that he was screaming and screaming and scream— the blinding pain made the world simply vanish. Yet the roaring sounds of cheers continued to haunt him in sleep._

 _He sat bolted up with a force that took his breath away. Everything was hazy, distorted and muddled — a mess he doesn't know how to fix. His head was drumming to a horrendous screech as he tries to escape from this horrible nightmare! Zuko clawed at the restraining bandages around his face. His one good eye gawking at the infirmary wall and his mouth open and closes in a soundless scream. This must be a nightmare. He needed to wake up!_

 _He felt hands trying to stop him from tearing off the bandages. He couldn't understand why she was shouting. He should be the one shouting! Yet no sounds came as logic left him. He just wanted to return to a world that made sense! Everything was wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!_

 _His mind could not compute what came next._

 _His sister made it clear that he should have fought._

 _If he had struggled, he would have never had to live with such an ugly scar. That he would at least retain an ounce of honor. Yet all he heard was her mockery at his pain with his mind replaying her smile when he was struck by Father_ _—_ _worse of all, the voices of his nation, the cheers of the crowds continues to ridicule him. It played like a broken record in his ears._

 _He felt a strong grip on his shoulder. It felt like a gesture of comfort, but when he looked up to see who it was, that delusion was shattered. If it wasn't her, if only it wasn't her. She was the last person he wanted to witness him at his weakest. And the thing he despises more than his father's reproach and his mother's disappearance was his sister's pity!_

 _Azula smiled, unlike a crooked smirk it had an affect more terrifying than her usual sneer – as if a knife had plunged into his heart as she announced to the entire world how pitiful he was. And what came out of her mouth was acidic reproved. Words that seared deep and stay stained: he was stupid for speaking against Father without proving his worth. That he had attack Father's honor. That he should've been wiser, better,_ ** _stronger._** _That the thing he should_ ** _never_** _do was_ beg _in front of the Fire Lord_.

 _He insisted he did not_ ** _beg_**. _She only laughed scornfully._

 _Adding insults to injuries like fuel to a fire, Azula awkwardly handed him a stainless white flower derisively injecting that it was a farewell gift. A gift that felt like an attack on his already damaged person, because to him the innocent of a white flower signifies the final nail to his coffin — the death sentence of the Fire Nation's Crown Prince. No wonder she had such delights as she held out the flower._

 _With overwhelming rage flooding like a tempest and smearing his vision red, Zuko crushed the flower in his palm and threw the petals in her face._

" _Leave Azula!" he spat out while clutching the white sheets in a desperate struggle to hold himself down. He did not dare look up at Azula, he was afraid he wouldn't be able to restraint himself from harming her. He had never wanted to hurt her as much as he did now. It was even more tempting because he knew she was far stronger than he'll ever be — it only made the temptation swell within the murky space of irrationality. But his treacherous mind compelled him to lift his gaze despite his resolve._

 _And he caught a sight he couldn't describe. For a moment the face she made brought him satisfaction beyond belief, but then a sudden hammer of shame throb in his heart. Yet, he did not apologize, he held firmly to his anger. Someone who would cruelly smile when he was branded by his own father was a monster. And monsters do not feel, they harm._

" _You're pathetic." She replied flatly before making her exit._

 _His entire body trembled as he saw her retreating back. At the sight something inside him snaps, something dangerous, consuming,_ ** _black._** _All of a sudden he's out of bed, to hell with his protesting muscles as he took large strides to reach her. His right hand outstretched trying to grab her shoulder and yank her to face him. However, his wobbly legs betrayed him as he collapsed to the floor. He willed himself to glance up to see she had stopped, her back facing him._

 _His anger did not dispel, rather at his current state it only combusted as her back remain so far and out of reach. Zuko could not stop himself as he hurled, "You're a_ ** _monster!_** _" Tears streak his face because he knew that was the breaking point._

 _There was no comeback or glare. She simply left without looking back. At that moment he knew their relationship was beyond repair. He had destroyed it. There was no turning back._

 _That was the last time he saw her, perhaps forever he mused. Even on the day of his departure, he was glad she wasn't there to see his humiliation; a banished prince being paraded in front of the entire nation. Because as long as_ she _didn't see him, Zuko could still hold himself together._

* * *

Zuko grimaced in distaste. The bright white flowerbeds outside the library window did not help his mood. Those stainless flowers seem to ridicule him with their brilliance, reminding him of one of the worst dreams yet. The feeling of shame and disgrace lingered like an annoying itch. Zuko grunted as he unrolled one of the many scrolls on firebending techniques. He skimmed through various scrolls before releasing a frustrated sigh. He already knew most of the concepts in the scrolls and the other half were solely theorized, making them useless in combat. The more advance the techniques were, the more impractical it gets. He didn't even bother trying to attempt a flaming tornado seeing as the person has to continuously spin while trying to conduct enough fire out of both palms and mouth in order to surround their body. It was ineffective; not only was it time consuming, required a ridiculous amount of stamina and constant control of the output of flames, it also possesses an outstanding amount of danger to the user — _and if some moron did succeed,_ the aftereffects of exhaustion would surely kill them or their opponent will. Overall, the technique was a recipe for disaster! Usually Zuko would disregard all of these factors to attempt anything that was flashy to get his father's attention, however now he considers it a waste of time.

As a matter of fact, his mind never once thought of using his free time in the library. With his hours taken up with calligraphy, Fire Nation history, History on warfare and strategies, mathematics, music lessons, discipline classes on manners, etiquette and speech as well as firebending training, swordsmanship, and martial arts combat, Zuko barely finds time for himself. On the rare occasion he does, he would spend it with his mother. Unfortunately, today his mother was busy so Zuko decided to hide out in the vacant library.

He read through several more scrolls on strategies of warfare, military advancement and formation, martial arts techniques, various sword practices, effective leadership tactics on the concepts of conflict and cultivation and so forth because they were the only scrolls in the Royal Archive! Some scrolls he had found was covered in dust while others were brand new. Zuko ventured deeper into the library as he took random scrolls that caught his interest, but he stopped mid-step when he heard a familiar voice from behind the shelve to his right. He slowly levels his sight to the space between the shelves to peak through the opening. As he thought, it was Azula reciting something indiscernible.

"No… No that's not it… that's not it either… purple hyacinth means…wanting forgiveness… This is it!" Her voice brightened as she stood up and inserted the scroll back into a conspicuous corner of the shelves as she rushed out with brighten eyes and a glimmering grin. Zuko made sure Azula left before he quickly picked out the scroll she was reading. Immediately he recognized that it wasn't from the palace's archive seeing as there was no official stamp of approval. She must've brought this from outside the gates and hidden it. After looking at it closely it seemed to be new as if she only recently gotten ahold of it. If he were to show this to Grandfather, Azula would surely receive punishment. After all, it was a capital crime to conceal things from the Fire Lord especially in his own home. Instead of gleefully reporting to his grandfather immediately, Zuko curiosity got the best of him and he started reading the scroll.

"Language of flowers…" he read out loud in utter shock. He had to read it again just to make sure. He stares at the scroll in a daze for a moment before continue reading the content. As the title stated, it truly was all about the meaning behind the names of flowers and plants. Zuko was confuse why a person such as Azula would read something she viewed as useless and weak.

All of a sudden a realization struck as he glimpsed down to the J section landing on a picture that looked like the flower Azula in his dream gave him. "Jonquil." He read out loud. The meaning behind the flower left Zuko completely speechless. His mind clogged because he couldn't — wouldn't want to process it.

 **Jonquil** the flower representation of: craving love, wanting affection to be returned, a desire for something or someone, _to give your sympathy or condolences to._

The ink on the scroll was written in neat calligraphy making the text more than readable and Zuko could not bring himself to understand what was written. It was simply impossible. _Impossible!_ Azula in his dream couldn't have known… _shouldn't_ have known! It must've been a coincidence, it must be! But… but what if she _did…?_ Zuko felt utterly miserable as he recalled himself crushing the flower and throwing it back at her. His heart tightened and his body began shaking. He didn't know why, but tears began swelling in his eyes. Zuko slowly and carefully rerolled the scroll and placed it back in its spot. With heavy steps, he left his discarded scrolls on the ground and locked himself inside his room.

All this time, he had assumed she wanted him dead.

* * *

" _Never look at the darkness, or it's all you'll ever see."_

He doesn't know how long he stayed, laying down staring into the wooden canopy of his oak bed hearing the whisperings of the walls. Zuko didn't want to think. He rather have none of it make sense. Because if he did, an inferno called guilt would consume him. Then all of a sudden, his door opened with the cheerful voice of his mother asking, "My son did you place these flowers outside my door?" she finishes with a light giggle. Zuko brought himself into a sitting position as he glance at the bouquet of purple hyacinth in his mother's arms. His voice was stuck in his throat as he shook his head.

"Really?" his mother said in slight disappointment as she stared at the bouquet.

"Mother do you know the meaning behind them?" Zuko finally uttered weakly. Unlike his mother having eyes of wonder trying to piece the puzzle together, Zuko was filled with grief.

Ursa smiled before replying, "Sorrow. And my instincts tell me that my darling is in need of comfort."

He was numb before, but now he felt his dam broke as tears flooded down his cheek. "It also means asking for forgiveness." He ushered out faintly. He doesn't know why, but something inside was screaming to be unleash.

Ursa was surprised at the sight of her son breaking down at the same instant amazed he knew such things. She quickly went and held him in her arms whispering words of comfort. She didn't need an explanation; her only instinct was to protect him.

"You… shouldn't be here… Azula suffering somewhere alone… Please save her…" He wasn't sure what he was blabbering. His mind was hurting and twisting in a tempest of turmoil. Everything was foggy and demented compelling him to vomit with so many images engulfing like a vortex inside a condense space. He could taste the bile in his mouth.

His mother's reaction was completely different than he expected. Instead of rushing out the door to check on Azula, she stopped stroking his head and faintly muttered, "That's imposs… That girl hates flowers."

He felt his mother's hands trembling. "She's just like that man… just like…"

"Mom?" He uttered unsurely seeing the haze in her murky eyes and the flat tone of her voice.

"There's something wrong with that child… she burns flowers and destroy gifts… her behaviors are abnormal…"

"Mom! How can you say that?! _Do you even love Azula?"_ He grasps her shoulder firmly so he could see Ursa's face clearly. Unlike the rosy cheeks and painted lips he knew and love, there was only a sickly paleness consuming her features. Reminding him of rows of corpses before deterioration.

"Wha — honey, no, no…" His mother said with large tearful eyes almost as if begging him to look away. She then held him tightly that it became smothering as she brokenly repeats, "Of course I do. I love all my children… I love my children, I do…"

Although he was balling his eyes out before, now he couldn't even muster a single tear as he mutely understood, _'Like how you love your flowers?'_ And all Zuko could do was hold his mother tightly for he was afraid she would vanish like delicate petals on the wind.

* * *

 _He is in a place where sunlight will never reach. Thirty-five feet under the Boiling Rock, best known for holding the most notorious prisoners. It was a punishment even worse than the coolers — the oubliette — known as the "Forgotten Clamber", was specifically made to keep prisoners in horrific captivity. The small enclosed box is fortified by titanium steel, a metal more indestructible than the ones used above. The last time he ventured to this atrocious place and managed to escape was the moment he vowed never to return. Yet, it's amusing how fate plays with him. In the end — by people of his own nation — Zuko was thrown into this hellhole._

 _The small space was a vicious sauna, nothing less from a dwelling deep within the mouth of a volcano. Steam entered with every breath, suffocating him to insufferable depths. The humid air felt oppressive with the floor and walls scorching his bareback, heat penetrating as his pants clings to him like a second skin. Worse than the burns, is being drenched in his own sweat, making him cringe with disgust at the awful smell he secretes. The space practically trapped the stench and he could not help, but recoiled with the intense urge to vomit. Clearly, the forceful expulsion of the contents of one's stomach cannot expel more than acid from him when he's beyond the verge of starvation. It was a simple method to make him talk and tame him from wrecking havoc before escaping. It leaves little to the imagination as to describe their sadistic nature. Slaying through dehydration and starvation was a long and exhausting process. For the people who watched, it was entertainment — very much so from the visible enjoyment on their distorted faces._

 _However, it was starting to wear on them since they wanted him conscious enough to extract information. He discovered he was rather good at enduring. After all, his life was always accompanied with suffering. With his luck, he's always expecting trouble. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that in order to survive one needs to learn, adapt and wait for the moment to strike. The current situation was a stalemate to see which side would give first._ ** _They miscalculated._** _That brought a small satisfaction that tug at his lips._

 _Seventy-two hours ago they even offered an incentive: wrinkle away or talk for a swift death. Lies. He doesn't believe in things like mercy or compassion anymore. Naïve stupidity was what got him in this mess. Zuko didn't have much of an appetite for the darker nature of humanity, because he had believed — was taught that not everyone started out bad — people deserves second chances… for he was given a second chance once. Still, he was starting to see that philosophy was for the kind-hearted fools whom haven't seen the true terror of_ _depravity._ _Those righteous types only saw half of what lies beneath a façade that is crueler than Ozai. It hurts because these were his people he wanted to protect. The cycle is endless and he can't stomach how helpless he is — weak, vulnerable and pathetic._

' _Zuzu, you're a fool. The world won't last with kindness. It never has.' Azula's voice echoed in his ears and repeated like a broken record. He can't stop thinking she was right. And now he hopes her voice would never stop, if it did, he would truly be alone._

 _He counts, the seconds, minutes and hours in the darkness. Suspended with an exposed back to the burning wall. The rattles of his chains is a comfort; an indictor that he is still alive._

 _Being consume in darkness, caged and shackled to the wall makes boredom immensely unbearable. He cannot tell time apart (he could only go off by estimations), cannot flex his muscles (he was hanged to dry), cannot see (denied of stimulus), cannot bend (he was not whole) with only the torment of his thoughts as company (which was the true oppressor)! More smothering than the heat is the exhaustion flooding incessantly throughout his body caused by his chi being restricted. What makes it worse was the hellish dehydration presented in the environment._

 _What is most unbearable is enduring the silence, because hallucinations accompany him like flies. He might truly lose his mind if he stays here. But this isn't even their definition of torture. A simple child's play, the calm before the storm, the appetizer before the feast. Their grand finale is burning the Fire Lord at the stake (cruel irony at its best), symbolizing the end of the monarch for the Fire Nation to see — for the whole world to witness the celebration of their so-called republic. Zuko is well acquainted with their leader seeing as the man never neglects a persecution, which can equally parallel his love for the dramatics._

 _Rather than the world going crazy, everything has gone to hell. And Zuko wonders if he was the spark that started it all?_

' _How the mighty has fallen.' She would surely mock him. Yet, rather than hating her like he should, Zuko was grateful they didn't have her in their clutches. If she survives — and he knows she is a survivor, then there is still hope. She will prevail where he has failed._

 _Suddenly the lights flashes on. It blinds his vision and he squint them open. Either he has a visitor or it's another torture session. They however called it, proactive interrogations. Instead of screaming bullshit, his alternative was much better at pissing them off. He spits in their face and retain his silence. He knows he's a bad liar, so he rather be mute. He has long given up on his fury because that would only entertain them. Over the weeks — or was it months now? He wasn't sure, but what he has learned was a few tricks to keep his emotions at bay when they attempt to poison his mind, threatens him with his love ones all the while trying to damage and manipulate his psychology._

 _Other than mind games, he had to admit they also has some creative torture methods. Pain is like second nature to him now; his body and mind was bruised, scarred, damaged long before they came. There is nothing they can do because he still has the strengths to comprehend that they wouldn't be doing this if they captured all members of the Royal family. He would die than let them touch the people he cherishes. After all, even if he was stripped of everything, he still has his indomitable stubbornness._

 _Lights blinded him and when his vision finally adjusted he is met with a madness like none other. He laughs in a voice he doesn't recognized. He's lucky as far as his luck goes. Today, to his great displeasure he is greeted with disease and infestation of the incurable kind. He would rather be drowned in poison, be eaten by a swarm of maggots or rot from the inside out than see these fools._

 _Monsters, sinners and traitors all gathered in a small space of insanity. The stage is set and surely tragedy follows._

* * *

Zuko stabbed his smoked sea slug with deadly precision. Other than having one of his nightmarish vision occurring at the most unpleasant of times, everything was relatively normal for a royal breakfast. Except today wasn't normal. The head of the table; his _father_ wasn't present. Instead of finding himself enjoying breakfast with his mother and the relief of eating without the constant fear that looms over him by Ozai, the Fire Prince finds it abnormal and _nostalgic_ for him to be having breakfast with the dead and insane. He would assume anyone would be disturbed if they dreamt of their mother's corpse and their sister's break in sanity. It tends to leave one disgruntled, to say the least.

But lack of sleep is probably a factor. Nowadays, he is met with many sleepless nights. To pass the time, Zuko tends to meditate, vary his time practicing calligraphy, landscaping, and swordsmanship. Then he moved to improving his firebending through his breathing exercises and continuously practicing the motions and forms of katas from the knowledge he gained in his dreams. He considered them more beneficial than his firebending instructors. During those hazy days when he couldn't differentiate anything from a lack of sleep, Zuko discovered that if he exhausts his body enough, it became easier to drift into soundless slumber without the occasional nightmares.

Surprisingly he kills two birds with one stone as his instructors started commenting on his vast improvements while he achieved his goal of getting _some_ sleep. Instructor Piandao, the strictest by far even praised him for his flawless control of the daos. But what he found most unexpected was the mysterious power mixing with his chi each time he has one of those dreams as the whispers became louder and more comprehensible. This scares him because the strange has become the normal in his daily life. He doesn't even flinch when a sudden daydream hits, and usually those were the worse.

"Dear, are you alright?" his mother's concerns snapped him to the present. Zuko stared at her, then unconsciously uttered, 'I'm fine' while he scanned the vast dining hall in confusion. As if the whisperings triggered him to action, Zuko plunged his chopsticks into his komodo sausage.

Distinctly contrasting the narrowed metal box he was shackled to, the humid air that choked him with a thick horrendous stench, and a body that screamed of exhaustion and pain, Zuko could only be amazed at the lavish assortments of food consisting of deviled platypus eggs, steamed rosemary mint salmon garnished with fresh lettuce and bright yellow lemon wedges, a frisée salad with poached egg seasoned with crimson chili and bite sizes komodo sausage decorated with colorful berries and smoked sea slugs.

The sheer sizes of the breakfast weighted down the large table between him and his sister, while their mother sat beside him was an unbelievable sight. There was also an assortment of different types of bread as well as drinks to choose from, which were offered readily by maids stationed near the walls. Zuko, who usually wouldn't even notice how privileged he was, could only stare in astonishment at the extravagance. Never in his life was he so grateful to be able to savor such luxuries that melts his taste buds to a crescendo. His mood has lightened and the nagging hunger from before elevated. His enjoyment only lasted until his sister spoke in that condescending tone of hers.

"You eat like a starved elephant-pig. Were you not taught etiquettes little Zuzu," she sneered as she showed off how elegantly she could eat.

He wasn't offended in the least. Bothered slightly with her antics, but it doesn't irritate him as much as before. So with a shrug, he resumes to stuffing himself. He doesn't recalled the last time he complemented the kitchen staffs, he should show his appreciation more.

"Young lady, please mind your words. They can be as much as weapons, and more harmful if used improperly." Ursa reprimand her daughter as she set her salad aside. Zuko did not miss Ursa's action in the corner of his eyes. Because obviously Azula's words has upset her appetite.

Azula frown noticing the small, yet clearly define display of their mother's reproach as she bit back, "Oh, please Mother. Save it for the gullible _peasants_."

It was obvious that there was distinct disapproval in Ursa's features, through the display of tighten lips and a neutral gaze. And as always Azula appeared unfazed as she continued to eat. But being more observant recently did him more harm than good. He started to notice things he shouldn't and rather never wanted to know. Similar to picking up on his mother's mood, he can detect the little things in his sister's mask of composure to the smallest details of tension in her shoulders and movement. Azula might not displays it, but she was affected by their mother's rebuke. He doesn't understand why she bothers to hide it — _oh wait, he does know._ Azula despises any form of vulnerabilities, any demonstrations of weaknesses and flaws. Odd how answers just keep popping into his head nowadays.

Silence engulfs the massive hall.

Unsurprisingly Ursa decided to alleviate the mood with a change of topic. "He is awfully late. Your Father always value punctually and look at him now." Yet again, Zuko notes how she refers to Ozai as 'Your Father', not 'My husband' and the fact that she wasn't worried for the man, only concerned with emphasizing his flaws. Funny how he never realized such obvious indications before.

His mother didn't expect him to defend the man, "It's understandable, since not surprisingly the war conference would be in an uproar after Uncle sudden relinquish of his six hundred-days siege. Who wouldn't be demoralized when discovering the death of his only son and the dwindling morale of his troops? Surely Uncle's depression would causes his army to waver. Uncle was at his limit." It was stated despondently with an incomprehensible despair eroding him. Zuko didn't know how, but he could understand the loss of a son. "Considering the circumstances, it was a strategic retreat. Men are more useful alive than _dead._ " He spit the last word out in distaste as he plucked a berry and pop it inside his mouth to lessen the bitter aftertaste of his mood.

 _Ba Sing Se,_ the city of _vipers._ Zuko clench his fists unconsciously as enmity draws discord within his tempest emotions. Frustration, rage undiluted _aversion_ boils. If he has his ways, he would purge the entire corrupted government of the Earth Kingdom. Their rotten aristocracy was on pare with the nobilities of the Fire Nation. It should be cleansed for the innocence and abused. Unknowingly he had emitted animosity with the sound of breaking chopsticks for his mother to stare at him in surprised apprehension. Zuko caught her quickly glancing away, her demeanor showed clear discomfort. He assumed his mother's distress arise due to his opinion on the siege. _But why?_ His argument was perfectly logical… He didn't announce anything out of context and he justified Uncle's actions. It should've been suitable to gain her approval.

Azula stopped mid-chew to harshly shallow as she set her crimson chopsticks aside. "How would you know that? There hasn't been any information on the current state of the siege," she interrogated suspiciously, eyes analyzing.

Zuko looks up from his plate and blink. He couldn't say his dreams told him; the part where their father came to breakfast to announce — _wasn't that today?_ — his head throb. The Fire Prince pinches the bridge of his nose, obscure fog in his mind departed as the voices whispered his blunter. Azula doesn't _know_ he has these bizarre dreams. This information wasn't presented _yet._ But he already knew about it months _prior_ — wait, he should be more distress… _why wasn't he distress?_ There's no time for that, he should focus on solving Azula's current suspicion; it's dangerous if she reports to Ozai. _Enemy_ his mind provided. Should he feign ignorance? Straight out lie? Wasn't he horrible at lying?! Why was he even arguing with himself?! God, the migraine is getting worse.

 _Information is power_ a voice hissed in his mind. _Control the flow of information!_ Zuko's golden eyes widened, his mind going blank as he automatically eased into the sort of mask he has learned — no, he was never good at these acts — that every member of the royal family _must_ perfect if they want to survive in these courts. It was a requirement of being Fire Lord, to protect himself, his family and to contain the corruption of his own court.

"Dear sister," he spoke evenly with a mask of royal indifference. "You're not the only one with _good ears._ " Hold eye contact. Don't look away and remain confident.

Azula's eyes narrowed, her hands fisted. She understood the implication. _Do not understate my spy network._ A straight out lie that even she doesn't notice. False information that conceal a more significant _truth_. A truth their mother is well aware of. He glances at Ursa, it seemed she understood the purpose of this lie given her fake act of obliviousness. It shows that their mother didn't survive in these courts with beauty alone.

"So it seems, _brother_." She was good, managing such control at her age. "I would even praised, in my surprise to discover you have such an ability. It's truly astonishing to have escaped my notice."

' _Do not get so full of yourself now that I know your deceit,' was_ clearly indicted between the lines.

He smiles, "Don't you have such an ability as well? It's in our genetics after all." _Your spy network never escapes me. Did you really think you're always the one a step ahead? How naïve._

Azula practically seethes. "Never, put _us_ in the same context." _I am above you._

Zuko smile broaden, _we'll see,_ was the blunt message.

Azula instantly stood up, calmly and very precisely knocked the yellow hyacinth arrangement to the ground. The china vase shattered as the petals fluttered to be crushed beneath her feet. "Get these hideous flowers out of my sight and fire whoever arranged it." Her voice was deadly and glare poisonous. But Zuko did admire the brave soul that spoke up to his vivid sister to inquire the reason.

He noticed Mother becoming tense as she was about to reprimand Azula, however he held her back with a tight squeeze to her wrist. Ursa looks at him in confusion, but Zuko's whole attention was on his baby sister. He had never seen her make such a reaction after he won an argument. He had never seen her lose her mask of composure because of him.

"The smell and color are repulsive and the pollen contaminates the food. Not to mention the blubs contain poison." Azula then edge closer to the frightened maid, eye to eye she menacingly declare, "Or will you take the fall of your lover on the crime of poisoning the Royal Family?" The young maid practically fell to her kneels in tears. "You're fired too. Get out." To further implied it was his fault, Azula directed a chilling glare his way as she brashly exited the grand dinning hall.

Zuko doesn't know how to respond. With his small, but very significant victory, he had cost two people their livelihood — but rather than feeling guilt, he was indulging in his victory. He did not miss his mother inputting, "What is wrong with that child?" Before a domineering baritone announce itself.

 **"What is the meaning of this?"**

Servants scrambled to tidy up the area. And Zuko practically grabbed the small bread knife in order to spring himself to action and thereby plunging the knife into the man's throat for a clean beheading. Instead, his logic forced his chaotic mind to yield, to clench his hands underneath the crimson oak and hold his rage at bay. With great effort, he kept his face neutral, but he knew it wouldn't last long. He could feel it, his mask slipping and twisting to that of the Dragon Emperor. For all his life Zuko knew his father was despicable, but the _repugnance_ was equally as immense towards the person standing on Ozai's left. A parasite above all parasites. The kind that sticks to filth to survive. A sickness that infects saints and angels alike.

The taste of iron mixed with bile in his mouth was the least of his problem. Something else deep and dangerous in the pit of his stomach was trying to surface. His head was swirling, overwhelmed by such pure, dark hatred so consuming that he had to instantly excuse himself before he is devoured by the monster within.

* * *

 _Gazing out into the horizon, Zuko idly realizes that it was a beautiful sight to end his day. The curve of the distant crimson mountains, in bleak harshness, vast and indomitable where they stand, far into the distance at the point of land where the sun sink into hues of red, orange and yellow became an imprinted memory of beauty and bitter regret. The colors merges and day and night becomes indiscernible for the distance in between. A piece of heaven he could never grasp._

 _He has come to realize (far too late) that he has taken simple life pleasures for granted. Just being outside, feeling the wind touch his skin, seeing not the ugly black but actual colors and sceneries and being able to fill his lungs with air brought a lingering smile he cannot subdue, a smile that said he wasn't ready to give any of it up. But he never gets what he wants because fate would prefer him struggling and fighting and crying for it. It is merciless, but he thinks it's worth it in the end. And if he could, he would struggle and cling and beg to protect it fearlessly. But time cannot be possessed or an entity for him to try. It left him powerless, all his fire and effort and determination is nothing in the face of what can't be changed because time waits for no one, not even for the Avatar. It is justice — it is equality and though many might think it's cruel and unfair, time is the most precise measure of a person's worth. It brings life; joy, sadness, experience to the world and eventually it leaves the body still. Everything must come to a stop eventually. And his time might be now._

 _It's a pity; frustrating and devastating. If only he has more time…_

 _He recalled his time hiding and pursuing and trying desperately to regain his honor. He misses the moments, the people and the beauty that was right beside him. He tries to remember the images of his travels, the people he met along the way and the experiences he gained through the mundane days of serving tea. It came in flashes and blurry snapshots because he never took the time — never tried to see and Zuko smiles a little sadly. And the nostalgia of the what-ifs, and the next time flooded his mind became a passing regret as well. But there is no next time because he is short on time and time is never on his side. Especially now, when his hourglass is running dry, as the day turns to night, and he is left defenseless to be devoured by the flames._

 _It seems true that sentimentalities are a perquisite of death. Yet he is not ready to die. For he has yet to accomplish, to make amends, to be a good father, husband, friend and brother to the people he will leave behind. And it is bitter and frustrating because he had chosen this path._

 _Zuko released a breath as if to extinguish whatever defiance he has left to climb up the long path of stairs. It is funny how at this instant visions of his uncle reciting poetry came to mind. Talks of stairways to heaven, a city in the sky, filled with life and people and telling him he'll know when the moment is right for the city gates to open and welcome him to their world. But Zuko thinks he will never be ready. But he keeps his silence to let his uncle, incomprehensible in action and mind continue in a serene voice with glassy eyes at their campfire preaching: all life has a journey. Many will never reach their destination, but what they don't know is that all destinations are paths to an ocean. The final destination is knowing when it's time to let go and head on to the next journey; an adventure to be travelled alone. It is when the feet is light as a feather and the body feels warmth and mind peaceful, this is when it's time._

 _Strangely, Zuko did not feel any of that as he had hoped. Instead his feet buckled, his mind muddled and his body was getting increasingly heavier and fatigued with every thundering steps. This must be a testimony, a sign that this wasn't his time. And he desperately hopes, that he will die by fire than let illness take him. For he never thought he would die any other way than in battles and flames, it just never occurred that his world would end in a whimper instead of chaos. It is unfamiliar and unpleasant and it makes him weak that it boils his rage. Luck was never on his side and it never will be. But he never did rely on luck, only once was he lucky and that was on the day he was born._

 _Black. He is wearing black because black burns best. Grace and dignity is never in association with black. For black is the color of death and dead ends and failures. But he hates it most for everything is dyed with red. And red is the color of his nation, his power, his people and his honor. But this is an execution. It is also his funeral and his resting place. And he does not hate the idea entirely because he is before his people and he must be the image of a man he was not and never will be. Perfection is a slow-burning progression that rot you from the inside out and he was never good at that. Never as good as Azula… she was the better one for such endurance. A will so strong that it was only a matter of time before the countdown reached zero and the combustion eroded her mind._

 _Perfection came with a price. Insanity is developed. And death is inevitable._

 _At the top he sees everything. The ruby hue of the sun is almost gone; it is nearly time. Death is imminent and time is an impending beat of total silence. Below crimson spider lilies seemed to bleed on pale flesh. It is a tradition to burn the corpses of royalties as their people offer them flowers that signify wishing them paradise on the other side. Their ashes will be sprinkled on the shore of the island, ending the funeral process and the standard procedure to ease the mind of the living. This does nothing for the dead for they know nothing but darkness and silence. Zuko snorts because it is all too funny. Because his countdown will reach zero soon. His combustion is only a matter of seconds._

 _Fire consumes and he is helpless to stop its progress like a burning wave of regret forcing him to rest._

 _It has been so long that he had forgotten… As if his time seemed to have glitch. Zuko gazes up at the full moon and the starry skies and he thinks:_

 _Today is his birthday._

 _And he does not know how to feel as the stench of burning flesh enters his nostrils._

* * *

 **Symbolism of the Flowers:**

Azalea: a symbol of femininity and of a delicate nature. Tells loved ones to take care of themselves and basically a symbol of womanhood such as asking women to stay beautiful. These flowers are beautiful and dangerous.

Red Spider Lilies: In Chinese it means "Flower of the Other Shore" or "Flower of Paradise", while in japan it signifies death, funerals, graveyards, never to meet again and abandonment.

Yellow hyacinth: Jealousy

Fire Lilies: Hatred

R&R!


	3. Garden of Sinners

Thank you for all the lovely reviews, favourites and follows.

Akalish thanks for the suggestion, but my updates are random and I only write when I'm motivated and have the time so I will try my best at editing. However, if there is a beta-reader up to it please feel free to PM me :)

Here is the long awaited chapter 3. Enjoy!

Edited March 10th, 2017

Disclaimer: I don't own ATLA.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Garden of Sinners**

"Zuzu, Father is going to kill you."

The first thing she does is blame him. He tries to ignore it. But who wouldn't be annoyed when the first thing you hear after days of being ignored is a condescending death threat? How was he supposed to regain back his seamless mood when Azula had practically spit on his honor.

So much for assuming that nothing could ruin his perfect day. It wasn't an exaggeration when Zuko felt like everything was working out, for once in his life. His reality was changing and he didn't care if the world was ending since he would be satisfied with getting the last laugh.

As long as he didn't have to feel the frustration of continuing to watch her back getting further away while feeling the helplessness of not being able to catch up… It didn't really matter what he has to do to stay on top. After all, it was depressing to catch up only to find out that she is light years away.

Zuko didn't bother looking at her as he spoke, "Why don't you do us both a favor and go back to your brooding tantrum or whatever."

"Stop playing with your stupid bird and listen to me, Dumdum." Apparently his tormentor wasn't leaving anytime soon. _Fantastic._

"If you're jealous that I got Ozai's approval then you can have it." He said as he fed the dried fish to his new friend.

The bird he saved two weeks ago seemed to be recovering and growing at an exceptional rate. It became obvious, since the size of the cage seemed to have shrunk. From the last checkup the physician had informed him that this species of bird was becoming extinct and that he was lucky to have even found one when it's said only ten existed in the world. Zuko snorted. Azula truly was blessed with good fortune.

"Surely you jest. Jealousy is beneath me so get off your high horse and listen." His sister arrogantly remarks as she swings herself around one of the pillar of the canopy to get his attention.

Now that struck a core. He had executed the second set of advanced katas so perfectly to amaze the reproachful Ozai in front of grandfather, and Azula didn't even blink at his improvements!

He had expected death threats, anger, questionings and utter shock on her perfectly crack mask or at least a display of undiluted anger! Instead, he gets a cheerful sister reporting that their _father_ is willing to commit filicide. Well, that's nothing new with royal families. Rather it's mutual. He wanted to bury the man six feet under.

Nevertheless, with such morbid thoughts his mother would surely cry her heart out for it was unbecoming of her sweet son. Zuko, however disagreed, if given the chance he'll at least burn half of the man's face off!

"You don't believe me do you?"

It's not that he doesn't believe, it's just that he hasn't had a dream where he died by his father's hands yet. Too busy pondering, Zuko had not noticed how close his sister's face got to his until their nose were almost touching and Suzaku — his new friend he recently named, had pecked into his fingers — that exact moment was when Zuko's mind had caught up to his current situation. Or _lack of control of_ the situation as his sister edges closer.

The first thought that came to mind was that her eyes were like a storm, cold and fearless, pulling him into a harbor of blue fires and dark lies. Then logic rushed in like lightning before proper rational thoughts inhibited the pounding of his heart.

She was _way_ too close for comfort, not to mention that their relationship doesn't comprise of such intimacy. Then a rather intriguing notion appeared. Does Azula not know the definition of personal space? Apparently not, as she continued her advancement while he instinctively retreated.

"W-what are you do-doing?" He stammers out feeling simultaneously scared and confused.

"When I'm speaking, I don't like being ignored."

"I'm not ignoring you. You were the one ignoring me!" Zuko shouts as he pushes her off him. Unfortunately, she caught both his wrists and pinned them on the headboard, the motion harshly flinged him down as she positioned herself above him. He couldn't believe it. She was straddling him!

"Get off me!" He yelled in panic as he struggled to get up, but her hold only tightened.

"Then look at me when I'm speaking to you. Stop avoiding my eyes."

Zuko rebelled by turning his head to the side to look at Suzaku. The raven eagle was oddly quiet as it leaned its head to the right, then to the left staring at him unblinkingly as if it was amusingly observing his predicament. Zuko grunted.

All of a sudden he felt a firm grip on his chin and his head was yanked forcefully up. Crap. He's having a heart attack. It's beating like a madman just because he looked into her eyes and shit, their position wasn't helping and she's above him, her eyes pinning him down with an expression that's more mature than anything he'd seen.

"Zuzu, I will say this once, and only once. So suck it up and listen." She said it with such finality that he could only nod.

She then resumes with, "Pack up and leave. Father will kill you because you're weak." Her smile was ruthless.

Now his face fumed a different red. He rebuked, "I'm not! Didn't you see my skills today? I was on par with you! You're just jealous that I might become better than yo—" He was stopped with a blazing flame deadly close to his mouth. He wanted to continue that he wasn't afraid of Ozai because he knows he wouldn't die anytime soon. He won't die.

"You're hopeless!" It was obvious he had drove her patience thin.

"You are weak because you're exactly like mother! You can't hurt a damn fly! Azulon told Father that if he wanted the Dragon Throne he should kill you to experience what Uncle felt! Knowing Father's ambition, he _will_ kill you."

Zuko sneered. "And you don't think you're dispensable as well?"

He felt a heated grip on his neck as her icy eyes glare him down. "You don't think I know that?"

He grabbed her wrist trying to yank the hand off his throat. "No, Azula. I don't." How could he possibly realize that from her behaviors? The confidence she has, the talent she held!

"Always playing the victim aren't you little Zuzu?"

" _Father only loves your talent, Azula."_

He notices her amber eyes briefly flickers in hurt, before they harden to icy stones as she released her hold on him and sat on the bed. Her current demeanor made him swallow hard.

"You don't think I know?" It was a soft whisper that could be easily missed if all of his attention wasn't on her. That was surprising, more than anything—

"…no," it was spoken unconsciously.

Apparently he had vocalized it out loud as she surprisingly answered, "Do you think I'm stupid? Like you?"

Now _she_ wasn't facing him, so it was hard to read the meaning behind her words. It was hard to know if this was another one of her lies, her typical jab or… something else entirely… If it wasn't for the odd ring in her voice, Zuko would consider it as his sister's usual antics to piss him off.

"Then why…?" _Your loyalty, your devotion, your trust in something so unfounded?_ The answers he seeks, the voices which were usually loud were silent for once.

"Anyways, my opinion of you changed after observing you for a few days and I finally came to a conclusion." She was back to normal, as if nothing had happened.

"You're not stupid like I thought. Although, partially your stupidity comes from mother's brainwashing, making your mindset weak. _Still_ you're not completely senseless." She paused and brought her eyes closer to his, " _It was an act, wasn't it?"_ Her eyes were analyzing his features and something inside was bubbling up. She was seeing something he didn't — shouldn't let her see. Zuko instantly place his palm under her chin and push.

"Azula, stop being creepy. I have no idea what you're talking about." He made his voice sounded unsure and face confused.

She whacked his hand away and smirked as if she caught his blunter. "This is what I'm talking about. You act as if you're clueless, weak and powerless. But that's a façade isn't it? You're hiding something."

The voices in his head was getting louder, more distracting and it was irritating him! With all the noises he couldn't think straight! To make it worse, he could feel a migraine developing as his visions became blurry. Everything was merging, unfocused and something was crawling out… No! No! _NO! It_ was taking over!

"I'm not." Odd that his inside was a tempest, yet he sounded so composed. "You're overthinking."

"Am I?" Her face was stoic.

"Rather aren't _you_ hiding something?" What the hell was he saying? It felt like he wasn't in his right mind.

"Of course, many things _dear brother._ Secrets are the best leverages. Information is power after all." She said it with so much faith, as if it was the very religion she follows. It might be the only thing she trusted; her Agni.

"But what I don't get," she pauses in contemplation, "Why are you revealing yourself now… No, is your mask cracking? Perhaps… you're in the process of building one—"

He interrupts, "I could say the same for you. Why burn mom's roses? Why give her purple hyacinth? Why try to learn the Language of Flowers? _That's not like you."_ It seemed he had hit a landmine as she snarled, grabbing the collar of his robe to yank him forward.

"You don't know me."

"And _you_ think you know _me_?" He bit back.

" _I'm the one asking the questions here,"_ her voice was a low deadly drawl.

He lets out a smile devoid of warmth, "Why are you faithful to Ozai knowing that you're dispensab—" Before he could finish, a fist connected to his cheek. He was punched.

 _That fuckin' hurts._

Hell with manners, with being a gentlemen or never hurting a lady. Azula _wasn't_ and will never be a lady. Zuko immediately punched her back. It unfortunate that it only grazed her cheek as she countered with an uppercut to his chin. Thankfully it didn't connect as he instinctively dodged and backflipped from his bed hoping his kick from the momentum of his backflip landed damage. Luckily, it did as he saw her clutching her abdomen a second later.

Molten gold meeting amber clashes. In that second without analyzing their opponent like they were taught, something snapped as both charged at each other abandoning all stances, bending and reason as they mindlessly kicked and punched at each her trying to get as much damage in as possible.

"What is going on here?!" They did not stop nor did he care for the voice's owner. All his attention was focus on defeating Azula. _Azula Azula Azula Azula!_ All his problems stem from Azula! _Everything is her fault!_ He was sure. The day she was born, was the destruction of his.

 **"STOP! NOW!"** It was a command so loud it momentarily halted his movement.

The Fire Prince looked up from his position of straddling Azula with his hands strangling her neck. Azula had landed a deep scratch on the bridge of his nose while her sharp claws-like nails of her index and middle finger were dangerously targeting his right eye.

Yet all his fury and tempest died when he saw his mother. It was truly like a bucket of ice crashing down on him. Never before had he seen such anger on her features. She was livid, unlike her gentle, quiet nature that felt calming like a soft breeze — Ursa was a raging inferno. She was so different he couldn't recognize that the woman standing before him was his loving mother.

"M-mo…" He tried, but nothing was coming out. He needed to explain this abnormal situation. He must justify that what he was doing had purpose! _It was Azula's fault!_ She started it! But his mouth felt awfully dry, throat constricted and vocal core cut from the sheer pressure of his mother's gaze.

He felt Azula moving underneath him as she harshly pushed him off and got into a sitting position. He finally noticed that her hair was wild and tangled in her messy topknot, her clothes ripped and wrinkled as her skin were bruised and the scratches on her neck bleeding. He never seen her looking anything but perfect, not a single hair out of place — except on that day of the comet — he finally took notice. What struck him deeply were vivid purple fingerprints on her flawless skin. It made it ten times worse because the marks contrast so badly on her small neck that it appeared he would have killed her if his mother hadn't interrupted.

"Young lady what did you do to your brother?!" His mother was furious, but Zuko was bewildered that his mother wasn't even blaming him. From the scene, he was clearly in the wrong. Yet his mother wasn't looking at him for an explanation.

"Mom—" Before he could continue, Ursa gaze soften when she looks at him and softly said, "Honey go to the infirmary."

He wanted to refuse because it wasn't fair that he wasn't reprimand, that his little sister will be the one to receive the punishment, but most importantly couldn't Mother see that Azula looked far worse than him?! He should take responsibility too… even though Azula started it… it was his fault for not acting mature enough to have stop it. And… he was older…

"Go. Your nose is bleeding." Ursa only glanced at him before she scrutinized Azula. Zuko foregoed his nosebleed to stare at his sister, then to their mother. They both were in an intense stare off. Azula held eyes of defiance, her posture was regal as if to proclaim she was just, while their mother emits a fierce frown, her entire demeanor radiated disappointment.

As always it seemed his presence wasn't needed seeing as Azula disregarded him and Mother's unusual chilly command compelled him to leave. Yet the voices in his head repeatedly chants: _Don't leave! Don't leave! Don't let her! She'll tell! She'll tell! She'll TELL!_

His head was pounding in a thunderous tantrum that Zuko assumed he might have hit his head more harshly than he thought during his wrestle with Azula. Perhaps his mother was right, that he needed to see the physician… Before exiting out the door he briefly saw the eyes of his sister staring at his back, their eyes connected for a millisecond before she quickly averted them as Ursa's voice echoed, "You have a lot of explaining to do!"

And when Zuko heard the strangely loud sound of the door closing, he realized that maybe… just maybe the reason why Azula remained loyal to Ozai—

It all converges. His mother's actions, his lack of talent leading to green envy, Ozai's favoritism for her talents, Azula's mask, her abnormal obsession for perfection, her demeanors which are oddly similar to Ozai… everything starts tumbling down before he realized. Zuko tightly shut his eyes. That moment when their eyes connected, that moment said it all.

 _Azula's got no one but…_

* * *

" _I'm leaving."_

 _And he knew she has given up on them. He thinks he_ should _care, but a small part of him was glad. Mai would be safer, happier far away from him and his misfortunes. Still a larger part was not. The sickness called despair eroded him; utter defeat that makes him swallow a bitterness which made him sink to the floor on his knees._

 _For a pleasant moment, he seemed to have recalled early years of their love to have denied their present. The fact that they haven't spoken in weeks, but it would be a lie if he didn't feel hurt, forsaken at her forfeit on 'them'. Her words have broken his final barrier for any semi-balance of tranquility; a living, blistering lie he recited to himself everyday. Because if he says it enough, he'll forget that their relationship has gone stale._

 _He was hopeful, he was desperate — he blinded himself to believe she wouldn't leave him. Not in the political pits of the Earth Kingdom._

" _Don't go…" I'll do better._

 _She is shrouded in black. Pitch black as midnight in a room that is lavish green. Mai is definitely of noble blood. She always held herself with grace and confidence for she always proudly wears the brilliant crimson of her nation in a place where she is powerless to the point of being ridiculed and slandered by the royal courts dominated by green. She held her dignity as to oppose to wear anything from another nation. Zuko had admired that strengths and determination even when rumors were exaggerated and lies abundant concerning the predestine collapse of the Fire Nation. She is far more noble and faithful than he will ever be. Yet, now the red from her lineage wasn't anywhere._

" _If you needed me, you should've hold me instead of trying to gain my pity Fire Lord." She said it coldly as if speaking to a coward. She wanted to hurt him, like how he had pained her. And Zuko avertedly thought that Mai oddly resembled Azula in this instant. No, perhaps he unconsciously considered Mai to be similar to Azula all along. After all, his wife is strong-willed, dauntless and stoic. But most of all, Mai is stubborn, making it even harder to gain her forgiveness than her devotion._

" _I do need you." He countered._

" _Zuko, you don't need me, you need a pillar of support and reassurance."_

" _I love you."_

" _On the same level of loving a dear friend."_

" _You're my wife."_

" _A hollow title."_

 _Zuko bit his lower lip. He is getting frustrated. What does she want him to say at this point? It is their first conversation in two weeks and he desired to avoid exactly this._

" _Where are you going?" he asked instead, rather than continuing a hopeless argument. She does have a tendency to expect him to know exactly what she wants. And if he didn't, a fight would ensure._

 _She finally turned to face him, it is unexpected to see her features in such fury that for a second he could not recognize the woman to be his apathetic wife. Maybe Mai wasn't as compose as she made her voice appeared. She was fast approaching him, in furious, quick steps as she took out a sharp blade from her black sleeve to point at his neck. He didn't flinch as he stared into her blazing eyes._

" _To save our son!" The knife pierce skin at her outburst. But he felt none of the stinging pain or the warm blood leaving him. Instead his face paled at the loud desperation behind her words. It had drenched him to the bones. He was speechless._

" _Alone if I have to."_

 _Zuko regained his footing as he saw tears brimming in her eyes, yet they did not — no she did not allow them to fall._

" _Mai… it's too dangerous! Wait a little longer—"_

" _If I wait a second longer I'll go crazy." She instantly injected. "If I continue to follow you,_ _ **my**_ _son will die!" She was breathless as if uttering those very words had killed a part of her. She blinks the tears away as she held a face of solid determination._

" _Zuko wake up. It has been three weeks since we came here! They don't intend to help! These people would rather witness the ruin of the Fire Nation in the comfort of their pedestal as civil war dissolves your monarchy. Soon our title will be meaningless to rally enough power to save our son!"_

" _Then what do you want me to do!" He had snapped. Yet once he raised his voice he felt drained._

" _What do you want me to do…" He was trying; he had persisted in getting an audience with the Earth King, but the process is round about — the real problem was that he had to get the approval from the Council of Five who were the real power holding the highest influence in the Earth Kingdom's military._

 _He had even begged those corrupted generals on his knees — he felt disgusted with himself, he was pathetic having to sink so low as to depend on the Earth Kingdom for help! This entire place was mocking him, hating him — knowing he's a pathetic Fire Lord… He knows it well. The extent of his power… his worthlessness…_

 _Mai did not comment. His wife didn't need to say anything from how pathetic he looked on the ground._

" _Where is your friends Zuko? Where are they?" She finally asked._

 _He sighed as he answered, "Toph, although reluctant is asking her parents for help. Aang is trying to persuade the Council of Five on my behalf, while Katara and Sokka are persuading the Water Tribe to assist me reclaim the Capital. Suki and her Kyoshi warriors are defending your family back in the Capital, while working together with Uncle and the White Lotus in order to track down the whereabouts of our son and Ozai." He continued with his best reassured smile, "So just wait a little longer because everything will work out — we'll reunite with our child soon!"_

" _Then what are you doing?" She looks unimpressed._

" _W-what?"_

" _I'm asking what you're doing?!"_

 _His face must have been truly confused for Mai to have jabbed, "Everyone is doing something for your country, so I'm asking what you're doing?"_

 _Zuko crinkled his eyebrows as he expressed a frown before shouting, "Trying to convince the damn snobs of this place to take action!"_

" _Funny, all I see is you enjoying social parties, eating lavishly and living such a carefree lifestyle while everyone else is working their butts off trying to fix your mistakes!"_

" _WHA—"_

" _But I get it. I do. Trying to stop a civil war takes time. However, what I don't get is your lack of concern for your heir! Your blood and flesh is one-year-old Zuko! You can at least do something about it can't you?!" She was screaming at him. Eyes fierce, body tense and her grip on the blade was shaking._

 _Zuko is beyond frustrated. He instantly stood with such force that the knife on his neck made a deep downward cut, however he paid no heed. He had forgotten that the weapon was even there. Zuko have had enough of her blaming him and — and implying that he is like his fath — Ozai! He is nothing like that monster! It was true that he was delighted, yet frightened when his son was born, but he had promised he would cherish and protect his boy with his life!_

 _However, to say that he doesn't care about his son — that was the last straw! It doesn't mean he isn't as much tormented as her when he doesn't know what became of his own blood! She doesn't see him show his concern, dread and fears because she is always showing it and if he did too then who would think rationally in this situation? Who will support their relationship, who can she seek comfort from, support her in these times? Mai doesn't see what he was trying to do for her. How hard he was trying to hold himself together for her. Why doesn't she understand him?!_

" _You think I don't care? You think I'm like Ozai don't you?!" Zuko glared at Mai, firmly gripping her shoulders as he shakes her, almost pleading for her to say no. After all those time she had assured him that he will be a great father as well as a Fire Lord, Zuko had kissed her blossoming belly, having his ear close to her round stomach — was it another lie? Did she really think he will be like that man? Was he so unwilling to accept the lies he surrounded himself with that he couldn't even differentiate lies from the woman he loves?_

 _Mai stared back at him with the same intensity as she proclaimed, "That's right. If you cared, you should've offered to come with me. You would've come with me! Instead you crumbled to the ground begging me to stay with you! You selfish jerk! You jerk! Selfish jerk!" Her words became incomprehensible as her voice cracked. He felt pierced with every hammer of her fists hitting his chest._

 _He can see it. Her worries, her fears, her complete trust in him. Mai has always been blindly devoted to someone undeserving of her. The girl in his arms have given everything of herself to him. Have risked everything for him. Had loved — is more in love with him than he ever loved himself. And Zuko feared he can never love anything to such an extent…_

" _You expect too much of me…" He gazed at her brokenly as he finally released his tight hold on her. Mai deserved better…_

 _Mai became silent as her thundering fists slowly stopped. Her hands now listlessly resting beside her. She did not look up at him. Her bangs covered her eyes and Zuko thinks that this was his cue to put reason in her mind and comfort her. Yet it did not happen, for she had quickly pushed herself from him, grabbed her bag on their bed and headed towards the large window. She had told him once, she had assumed he was in deep sleep to have called their marriage a beautiful disaster, but if it was any consolation, he never once regretted his choice. He truly loved her._

" _Mai?"_

 _The point comes, when he stopped forgetting what became of their relationship as she wipes the blood from her knife, her back turn to him as she uttered,_ "Did you at least love our son?"

 _It was a soft whisper unlike her usual tone, not like their usual topic of argument. Rather the moment when her words carried themselves in the wind as she opened the window filled him with dread. It was the same. The same as that time._

" _Yes Mai…"_

 _I love our son more than anything… I love you for giving me such a bundle of joy… I loved you… I do…_

 _She did not turn back. He only saw the outline of her face and a trace of a droplet falling from her chin._

" _Don't go."_

 _She was now standing on the edge of the windowsill, black hair waving in the wind like a farewell — the type that says they will never meet again. Her silhouette is distinct in the bright moonlight and he thinks it is a pity that his last memory of her is her back. It's too painful, he didn't know why, but this scene was similar to one he had long ago. A stainless white flower flashed through his mind; the tarnish petals in his palm, the innocent color and the intoxicating smell of sweet nectar. It is suffocating_. _The breaking point of a relationship._

 _As if she had seen the darkest parts of him. Her farewell dance in his mind._

" _Bye, Zuzu."_

 _And she jumps._

* * *

"Dear, you seem unwell."

His mother briefly touched his forehead with concern on her face. Zuko held his mother's hand and squeezed before saying, "I'm fine" for further assurance.

He was anything but fine. No matter how he pushed himself to exhaustion, the nightmares persisted. He was too tired to think.

"Here. I recall your uncle saying that ginseng tea will help with fatigue." She smiled as she took a sip from her cup.

He stared at the cup and memories of his time in Ba Sing Se serving tea floats to mind. Knowledge of how to properly prepare tea made him hold the cup in his hands in order to heat it to its perfect temperature.

"Isn't this wonderful?"

Zuko gazed up at Ursa in confusion.

"Spending time together in a beautiful gazebo surrounded by flowers. Isn't it wonderful?"

Zuko nodded as he took a drink from his cup.

"It would be perfect if all my children were present."

Zuko said nothing and continued to drink the bittersweet tea.

"Azula refused my invitation." Her eyes were downcast. It was said in such a way as to convince herself and anyone listening that she treats her children equally.

"She is… complicated, isn't she?"

Zuko opened his mouth, but closed it shortly before nodding.

"I remember you two being so close in the past."

"We were never close."

"Really? Didn't Azula always managed to sneak into your bed and you never complained." She held a knowing smile before saying, "You two were joined at the hips. Azula would follow you everywhere."

Zuko became speechless. The vast field of asters behind his mother added to the surreal moment. The point where everything became indiscernible.

"What happened I wondered?"

 _What was she talking about?_

 _Doesn't she remember?_

"If only those moments would last…"

Wasn't it her? Because she said it was strange. And she started to give them _that_ look, which caused him to… Azula was never the same. She became bitter and nasty.

He tightly clenched the cup answering as he was expected to, "You're wrong. We were never close."

She held a rueful smile.

"That's unfortunate."

She then grasped both his hands which were still tightly holding the teacup, "But as an older brother, please take care of your sister."

His mother's perfume of amaranth flowers seemed to mock him.

 _What ruthless kindness._

* * *

Zuko felt like he was in a deep fever. He twisted and turned in his bed wanting to wake up from the nightmare, but he was unable to. It was out of his control as his mind coiled, trapping his spirit to sink deeper into the recess of what felt like a devouring darkness. Empty depths like hands seems to grasp his ankles unwilling to let go as he was dragged back to hell.

 _Mai was gone. This time lies weren't necessary. There was no longer a need to extract information from him. They have Azula. He didn't know what to react to first, the death of his wife or his sister's reappearance._

 _Bitterness and the devouring regret at the pit of his stomach should be a good indication._

 _The death of Mai — he should be furious! He should scream, blame, combust to rebel against such injustice. He tried to bring out that usual anger, that inner fire, but all he felt is numb exhaustion and an unnatural envy. She died trying to save their son; shielding him protectively from the fire in her arms… What bliss…. A noble death that he could only hope to attain._

"' _Mother is gone,' were your exact words when we crossed paths on the outer garden of Ba Sing Se. Do you remember?"_

 _He'd forgotten. Azula was across from him. It wasn't a hallucination… How odd they'd allow them to share such a small frozen space. Well, he was just glad he was finally taken out from that suffocating clamber. Being in the coolers was way more bearable. And like before, he can warm himself with his fir — scratch that — his chi was blocked._

"… _no." His voice sounded weaker than he remembered._

 _She giggled with eyes of a fox-coyote, "Still a terrible liar I see."_

" _What's your point Azula?" He was too cold, fatigued and starved to get irritated at her antics. Yet all at once, it was familiar, even nostalgic to almost allow him to forget about their current situation; his despise for the cold and their proximity._

" _My reply. Do you remember it?" His sister didn't look at him as she leaned her face further into her knees. Eyes seemingly to stare passed the cooler's frozen steel walls, passed the boiling prison and beyond the vast ocean. She was seeing something else entirely. Something he felt he could never hope to comprehend._

" _That's not an excuse. People don't cease to exist_ _after death." He recited the exact words. He might have understood those words better now. Mai's death felt unreal. His mother's still haunted his dreams._

 _Azula turned to him and smile, not a twisted smirk or condescending grin, but a brilliant smile as if to award him._

" _See, that wasn't so bad. You can do it if you tried."_

 _He never forgotten. She knew he can never forget anything about her. Once fear is ingrained it becomes unconditional with Azula. And strangely she always understood what he wanted, even when he doesn't realize it himself. She always understood him._

" _But you were hell bent to win and rebuked, 'Mother is dead!'. It was so resolute I almost believed it!"_

 _Zuko sighed, tired with her mind games. "What is your point?"_

" _What did I say next Zuzu?"_

" _Stop calling me that."_

" _What did I say next,_ Zuzu?" _She repeats, cold fingers touching his upper arm while her other hand trail his cheek making him flinch._

 _He knows she won't let this go until she gets her way. And he was the one always yielding._

" _Not to me."_

" _That's right." She nods in confirmation. "…not to me. Mother is never quiet in my head. She is persistent, always watching… listening… lying!"_

 _Zuko felt_ _fear crawl to the very marrow of his bones as chills twist inside his stomach._ " _Azu—" Her nails clung to his blue skin as she injects, "You wanted me to give up. It was your best lie yet! You stood in my way — always siding with our mother! You know nothing!" Silence. "You never did..."_

 _His head was spinning. "No! You're the one who refused to understand! How many times do I need to tell you?! I found mother buried—"_

 _Azula was giggling, a deranged laugh inside a confined space. It felt as if he was being devoured by her insanity. The cold was chilling, but her laughter was frightening. Being stuck together depraved of any stimulus, heat, or food, and cramped inside a space with a mentally unstable psychopath while being chi blocked was unsettling. It has been years since he'd seen her and with crushed hope it seemed she has gotten worse._

" _You never want to understand. You never questioned why I decided to search for mother, why I became like this, why I don't believe you—" her laughter stopped. "You think I'm crazy…" She leers edging closer, "don't you?" Her breath forms puff of smoke, chilling his ear, surrounding them like a mist. Her eyes sparkled seemingly to laugh at his ignorance._

 _She leans even closer as he inches back until his back was completely straight on the icy steel, head bent back and arms trying to push her away. She, however wrapped her arms around his neck and yanked him closer with a tight hold. Her skin was colder than the cooler itself. He could feel the mist from her breath, her lips moving as she whispered, almost teasingly, "Here's a secret, brother dearest…"_

* * *

He wakes in cold sweat and terror. His mind was swirling and his heart was pounding hazardously against his chest. All he sees is darkness, all he wants is peace of mind. Zuko finally noticed that it was him breathing harshly, it was him holding his neck so tightly as if to cover a bleeding wound, it was him with tears uncontrollably soaking his bedsheets! In the end, it seemed it was him to blame.

The young prince weary left his bed as he planted his feet on stone cold floor. Zuko did not mind the chill he sends to his spine, rather he welcomed it. It helped him regain his senses, it helped ground him to the present. He exits his clambers and in blurry flashes he is standing outside Azula's bedroom. He stares into the dark, engrave steel door, he feels out of place. He's confused. He should be taller than he is, hands bigger than they are, eyes sharper and face scarred.

He gazes blankly up at the looming door. He leans his forehead on the cold steel as he closes his eyes. The night was unusually silent, no sounds of wind or the flickering of flame lanterns. He resides in a palace too lifeless for it to be a domain which controls a nation of living flames. There is only the cold as his companion and a title as hollow as his existence to his father. This is his present. Yet, even in these eerie setting of the stoney palace, with these turmoil emotions, he felt strangely at ease.

 _He was weird._

These dreams — visions are making him weird.

Maybe it would be best if he purges them. Even though he realizes this, that he was changing, that this wasn't normal — that he isn't himself — Zuko is reluctant to give it up. Does this make him crazy? Probably, he mused.

Perhaps the people who are defined as crazy might actually be 'supersane'? They might think on a different wavelength than everyone else or in his case, he just knew too much. Maybe this was how Azula felt in her madness?

She had lived in a hive filled with whispers and rumors and lies all her life. Anyone would go crazy. He chuckled. Was he so sleep deprived to mix dreams with reality?

He must've gone insane because those dreams were the only aid he has to survive in this snake pit surrounded by venom. If his assumptions were right, the courts would have already heard about Azulon and Ozai discrepancy over the throne while being aware of the royal siblings' rivalry. The truly smart ones will see how this plays out before choosing sides.

Uncle is currently in an unfavourable position after his surrender at Ba Sing Se giving Ozai the chance to strike. In Ozai's case, surely the first thing they will use is the competition between his children. Rather it works to his advantage to have them believe he is jealous and talentless against his sister. They won't see his real weakness, giving him time to build his defenses.

Zuko released a breath as he opened his eyes and stared into the door as if looking directly at Azula. But she probably wasn't in her room; she must be practicing. He almost snickered. Poor Azula, still trying to hopelessly achieve perfection in order to please a father who doesn't even love anything but power. And he thought he was the pitiful one.

"You say I'm foolish," he mumbles to himself as his fist clench beside him. "You're helpless yourself."

Zuko exhaled a long sigh trying to regain his bearings. Then with a deep inhale he cleared his mind. Thankfully the throbbing has ceased and his heart was beating at a normal rate. Although, his situation was beyond the level of his comprehension, Zuko can confidently say he was still himself. Knowing that was enough to defend against the chaos and confusion that was fighting for domination in his mind…

The Fire Prince turn and with determined steps headed back to his clamber. In the darkness of the corridor he recalled his frightened lost self unable to locate his mother and how Azula had found him crying. It seemed so long ago even though a year hasn't even passed. He cannot believe he had acted so childishly.

But it might be his way of coping from the uneasiness within the palace during nightfall. For it was the time where monsters shed their human skins and secrets unveil. However, he likes to believe those who stays in bed are innocent and those wandering are true monsters.

So why wasn't he surprised to find his mother in a deserted kitchen grinding azaleas leaves and their nectaries? He truly wondered why he wasn't shocked.

"Zuko!" She never directly calls his name, not unless she is disappointed or alarmed. "W-why — is everything alright dear?" She was acting as if he had caught her sticking her hand inside a cookie jar. Her reaction is expected, since the kitchen is forbidden after hours.

The atmosphere was a thick ominous mist with a single candle alight.

"You shouldn't have this entire area smelling like azaleas Mother." He calmly stated as he made his way to fetch a glass of water. _The unusual scent at this hour was what led him here. Who knows what else it might attract._

As he gulps down his water, Zuko glance at his mother's gloved hands that hugged the herbal bowl closely to her form. She must have caught him staring as she explained, "I'm making some floral tea to help me sleep." She held a gentle smile, but her eyes weren't smiling.

"Alright. Then I'll be heading to bed now." He excuses himself with a polite smile, hearing a "Sweet dreams dear," before exiting his mother's view of vision.

Does she takes him for a _fool?_ His mother never acted so warily before, her very behavior screamed suspicious. Zuko made sure he hid behind one of the dark corners as he saw his mother peaking out to scan the halls before she firmly closed the double doors. He waited silently in the darkness to make sure she doesn't decide to double check again before making his move. Thankfully his decision was correct when he heard feather-like footsteps approaching the door from the opposite end of the hallway. Luckily his eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, but he still had to squint them to make out the features of the lone maid a few meters away. His stomach sunk. It was the maid Azula had dismissed during last week breakfast ordeal. The question is, why was she still here?

The brunette seemed to be preparing herself before she carefully tapped a beat against the doors. The prince noticed that her posture was tense but she vanished behind the doors before he could make out more.

Zuko blended into the shadows, positioning himself beside one of the doors. He then pulled out the glass cup he had hidden in his left sleeve and placed the open rim to the door's surface as he levelled his right ear to the base of the glass.

He heard fragments through the creaking of footsteps. "—maid quarter… untraceable — give them both — peaceful rest…"

Zuko angled the cup higher. "But the infant is not at fault…"

"Not yet — Who else, but that man? It's the parent's duty. And I have a responsibility to protect my children. That child cannot be born." The creak of the floorboards made his hairs spike. His heart was drumming. Zuko had heard something his dreams never foretold. It was a demented and fragile puzzle that he wasn't sure he wanted to piece together…

"Yes…" the voice of the maid replied timidly.

"—doing the right thing… not your fault… this sin—mine to bare… I will make sure your mother is taken care of."

"Like you, for your mother, I'll do anything for my children. _This_ _place is crueler than death. I will not let my children be subjected to it."_ Her voice was tainted with scorch. The smell of the azaleas seeped through the cracks of stone walls and dark wood, scalding his nose as it brought a sharp prick more painful than his normal headaches. He felt a harsh impact on the back of his neck. Everything faded, but distant sounds of wind chimes.

* * *

 _He dreams of his mother's mystical tales of Four Kingdoms, governed by Four Gods. These kingdoms lived in prosperity, their people intelligent and their lands peaceful. The Fours Gods were great creatures to be worshipped and in doing so, their people were blessed in riches._

 _They have become myths. As a child he never noticed why these kingdoms said to be prosperous are tales instead of actual nations. It came easy to him now. It was simple, with intelligence came greed and corruption. For the minority of these nations, their lands and prosperity weren't enough to satisfy their hunger for power. Their power which came from the gods became misguided allowing darkness to ruled their hearts. Thus, a fifth entity came to existence. The God of War, which only hunger for vengeance, greed and power. The darkness govern by desires of the heart, which brought nothing but a cycle of hatred and bloodshed._

 _War flared causing the collapse of long lasting dynasties. The clash of conflicts and the greed to not surrender and negotiate led to destruction. These people knew the outcome, yet they continued. Why? Because the victor is just and the defeated evil. Glorify and falsify. What greater power is there, than that of being the creator of a new world order?_

 _Monsters aren't born, they are made. What remains are fangs sharper than any others, hearts hollow while the mind stays logical that it cannot be override with compassion. Desires. That's the essence of human nature led astray from the light of humility, duty and honor. He recalled his uncle mentioning such darkness existing in people, alluding to Ozai._

 _But maybe the darkness is even deeper, much darker in the person they least expected. After all, the strongest urge to kill sprouts from the most extreme forms of love. Perhaps Mother felt so trapped, depraved in the inner palace that she turned her entire affection, a guiding light — her salvation into loving him that she was willing to destroy a world for. But it's only a presumption, for he never knew her — the world she sees or the thoughts she held, not even at the moment of her disappearance._

 _For such a woman who appeared to be on the verge of life and death; an unstable existence itself, told him to be true to himself. To never forget who he was. They became the last words she uttered as a farewell. It was ironic because it seemed she was forcing her situation upon him, wishing for his success where she has failed. She had placed such a burden on him that he did not understand and because of it, the sacrifice it brought, tears at him skin by skin until it reaches the marrow._

 _As a Crown Prince, his life wasn't his, all his actions and decisions should take the nation into account. Everything he has done and everything he needs to do is for the prosperity of his nation. Mother said that to be a good sovereign — a good man — he should always listen to his people and his heart (even if my people demands war? And what if my heart opposes to it? What am I supposed to do then?). That if his actions were just, the Four Gods will help him in his times of needs._

 _Where are those gods Mother?_

Where are you now?

 _It seems true in moments of death, men will instinctively seek their mother. But in his case, he wanted answers from her than anything else. But he doubts he'll find her here. After all, his mother is alive, happy without a single memory of her children or being a Fire Princess._

 _Azula has always gotten her desires. The world loves her to the extent that reality bents to her will. For the body which was founded six feet under became a lie, another crime committed within the savage nature of the courts. Like how the world hated him, he was tossed to the wolves by the Earth Kingdom, betrayed by his own people when they conspired against him with his enemies. No thanks to the left advisor, he became a scapegoat for all the discontentment of the Fire Nation._

 _And that was how he finds himself died. His uncle was right, he did find the afterlife quite soothing, his tired and weary body is rid of the disease that was leeching off his life force and his mind clear from the memories of pain. He feels so light and free from the burden, the expectations — from his responsibilities! Just floating in this eternal darkness, without that lingering stench of_ _burnt and burnt smells of gunpowder and burning flesh and hellfire. He'd gotten more than enough of that in his lifetime._

 _Yet one thing he can do without was the_ _unnatural smell of anesthetic which hangs around like a mist, permeating his senses and his skin and his_ thoughts _, making everything sterile. He ponders if this was the Spirit World Aang refers to? This complete and silent world of sterile logic and timelessness._

 _Zuko continues to float in a world darker than black. He was used to it. This was nothing compared to the patience he had endured in the oubliette. There was no scorching heat, no burn and awful stench. He remains frozen, yet his mind roams. It was an unusual sensation._

 _He doesn't know how long he floated, but the next thing he felt was a sudden pull and then he could see again. The place is dark, but he immediately recognized he was in the palace. He noticed a small boy shaking in front. Curiosity got the better of him so Zuko decided to approach. After all, when you're dead, stimulus was nonexistent and there wasn't much fear._

 _He wasn't sure if the dead can dream, but it must be since the boy was himself when he was around nine or ten. All the emotions he thought he abandoned in the abyss came rushing back. He's on the edge of tears because he was so ashamed. The boy shined, full of hope, having an unguarded smile with a light in his eyes. Zuko could do nothing but cradle the boy in his arms and repeatedly apologized. He became overwhelmed with sorrow he thought he'd forgone, with utter despair in its place._

 _The next thing he knew he is in a sterile world of darkness again, yet this time he hears distant wind chimes. Zuko looks down and he could see his body. He observes his hands and bare feet. What surprises him wasn't that he's now able to see and hear, but the surface he stood on. There were ripples in the black surface. He bends down to touch and surprisingly his fingers passed right through. The sensation was similar to water, yet he was able to stand on its surface. Maybe this was the ocean Uncle mentioned? The place of spirits._

 _But he had no time to ponder as his body was oddly compelled to sprint to the source of the chimes. Perhaps this was the destination souls are supposed to journey. Where the gates will open and he'll be by Agni's side._

 _As the sounds gets louder and louder, Zuko starts to sees lotus flowers hovering in the darkness emitting a red light as if signaling a pathway to guide lost souls. He froze; heart at a dead beat. No, his luck never brought him such convenience. The lights didn't reflect a path; it was signaling danger. He sees darkness move; sliding against those lights were large blacken scales which shine like jewels._

 _A breeze cut pass his body. He could feel its breath all around as the beast encircles him. Zuko did not dare stir as the light casted by the flowers revealed a serpent-like creature enclosing its prey, its body were walls greater than Ba Sing Se. He held his breath when a large golden eye opened to his right. Its one eye reflects his form, displaying how enormous it really was._

" _ **It has been awhile."**_

 _The creature hissed. Its voice was unlike anything he had heard. But the tone Zuko could understand was amusement._

" _ **For a soul to reach me… shows promise."**_

 _The colossal being placed its three glowing eyes on him. Its nostril flared as the flower of lights danced at the creature's every movement. The water surface followed in waves. Zuko had a hard time maintaining his balance._

 _The beast laughed as it edged closer, fangs wide in glee. Its movement created the sound of wind chimes, as black scales eerily glowed in the red lights._

" _ **I am Origin. A**_ _ **wraith of karmic retribution for souls on paths of wretched fate. You, boy,**_ _ **bare great darkness.**_ " _The thing hissed as its grin widened._

 _Zuko let out a slow breath as he uttered, "What does that mean?"_

 _It chuckles looming one eye closer,_ **"** _ **Potential. It has been millenniums since anything has reach this depth – you should be grateful for**_ **I** _**shall grant your wish. What do you desire?"**_

 _Zuko was speechless. This monster was offering something poisonously wonderful. It's almost amusing. For his luck to show promise after death, funny indeed to have the honor of meeting a War God._

" _What's the price?"_

 _The monster smiled._ " _ **Nothing, for I have staked my claim."**_

 _The lotus flowers suddenly dimmed as their petals started to fall like snow, while below the dark water blooms snapdragons. The crimson of the flowers bleed into the black waters, creating a red sea. The scene was surreal, yet Zuko continued to gauge at the darkness as three reptilian eyes mockingly watched back. It's molten pupils shrewd and deadly fangs bare in delight._ It knows.

 _Zuko realized everything has a catch. He's not stupid to see that the monster was playing him, trying to suck him into an unfavorable deal. Yet, he had nothing else to lose. It's tempting, so tempting that he remembers the warmth of the small boy he embraced, the mistakes and what-ifs as they sentenced him to burn and Zuko's_ desires _became unquenchable._

 _His hunger grows and understanding came._

 _He spoke the words he never dared yearned and all of a sudden he's swallowed by the serpent._

 _Before his consciousness fades a crazed laughter accentuated,_ **"** _ **From the darkness where time intersects, your grievance shall be avenged."**_

 _Then nothing but pain._

* * *

He did the unthinkable.

An uncontrollable urge sprung forth in the chaos that has sink its fangs in his mind. It crawled out; the deepest, vilest parts. Making all the tempest in his head intersected at one thought: To stop her from leaving him. Surely having witness — _this act_ — behind slightly opened door would compel her to stay. Wasn't this what you'd fear Mother? The reason why you separated us? Still, the insistent voice in his mind stated otherwise.

 _She won't stay._

 _She will abandon you._

 _She_ _ **had**_ before _._

 _No! She loves me. She'll stay. It's her duty!_ His thoughts ran in circle trying to suppress the hiss in his mind. To prove his point, he stared at her with watchful eyes, waiting for her to rush in to tear her children a part. He couldn't make out what her expression was when her face was shadowed by the glowing lanterns from behind. Even when her expression was shrouded by the darkness of his clamber, he could tell she knows he was watching her. His golden eyes gleamed in pleading — _in desperation._ The eyes of judgement focus itself onto her choice, her actions, her nature.

 _You love us, right?_

Unlike his expectations, his mother only stood behind the creak of the door. With each seconds his hope diminishes and the whispers cogging his mind and twisting his thoughts were erupting into a loud roar. It was overwhelming how his mind was getting hazy with inconsistent thoughts, sounds, flashes of images he never seen, voices and people he never met — all created a massive migraine that jumbles into a torrent of fury and outrage.

However, overpowering everything, was undiluted hate. A dark inkiness swirls and clings itself into him like a virus. He felt sick, devoured as if there was a war brewing inside and… he was losing… _fading…_ Even with all his efforts, his eyes started to flicker into a silent anger; narrowed into a molten-eyed serpent watching its prey. This time he won't let her escape! He'll stop her!

His sister, seconds ago frozen in his grasp was now struggled against him. She yanked and pulled at his hair, send uneven tangents of red on his face and neck with her sharp nails to try fruitlessly in pushing him away — forcefully with all of her frantic might. She was so panicked it seemed she'd forgotten her bending. He would have enjoyed his small victory at how he managed to throw Azula's prided self-control out the window.

In his right mind he would have felt guilt, disgust at what he had — still in the act of doing. But he would be lying, since he felt none of those things. So, he did not relent in her struggle, his hand gripped the back of her neck like claws, arms constricted her form like a viper with his tongue poison to her lips. He tilted her form to deepen the kiss, hoping that it will conjure a reaction from their dear mother.

After witnessing this, surely she would stay… surely her love will force her to stay… surely if she claim her love to be true, she will stay! He can't bare another betrayal, and worse, being once again forsaken by the people he loves. Because surely if she can't stay for all these things, she would stay for keeping her promise to him.

The voice mocked. Before it snickered. Then he was boxed inside walls of crazed laughter.

He prays even harder than before, trying to submerge those laughers. But no one ever listens.

' _And no one ever will,'_ it taunts and with little resistance, Zuko believed it.

He was devastated at the knowledge he'd known long before this happened; her decision would stay unchanged. She will still turn her back on even the most horrendous of realities to walk away without a glance back. And he known, even without the shadows concealing the truth… He knew somewhere deep within the abyss of his mind that his mother would walk away from a family she never wanted.

A smile on her face, neutral and polite. A quiet disposition, a delicate grace and a soft demeanor which she dignifiedly displays in court, in the palace and inside the prosperous Capital of the Fire Nation was _all an act._ A role she plays, a mask she wears, never truly showing her true self. Perhaps all those times when he caught her façade slipping and asked her what was wrong, might be a glimmer of her true self. But then that reassuring smile would be in place and her mask of protection was back. A barrier that separated her from him because she does not trust him enough… her own son that she told hundreds, thousands of times she loves!

 _I love you, I do…_

She acts as if she is a butterfly stripped of its wings and caged inside purgatory. As if this place, her children and these moments were created to penetrate into her cracks so she doesn't escape. Her selfish wish to do everything in her power, out of the goodness of her heart to save his life. The love and kindness she has for her beloved son — for her to willingly sacrifice herself for his sake. He would have believed it (he did once). But now, if not for the numerous times he caught her mask slipping — all those instances only reinforce his belief. For he saw it as what it truly was. It was her way to justify to herself that she could abandon her children, forsake her role and make her escape from this place — _from this prison._

How could he not know better? How could he not notice till now? His mother was always like that. Her smile was a shield, a wall more indomitable than Ba Sing Se. Her love was like saving a drowning man rather than teaching him how to swim. A cancerous love that kills from the inside out and make you rot alive! Truly it suffocated him years after years with her haunting words of what is best for him, what he thought was best for himself and then everything rotted to hell.

Burned, bloody, chaotic until his nation became ashes.

Azula has bitten down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. And that pain pulled him back to reality. He felt the cold edge of his Uncle's present dangerously pressed against his skin, blood running down his neck and the taste of iron in his mouth brought his mind clarity. Zuko instinctively assessed his situation, a knife to his throat, Azula's face awfully close, making the confusion in her murderous glare apparent for him to take advantage of their position to slide under her hold as he ran like a madman after his mother.

 _The voice chuckled darkly in his mind — no, he was the one madly laughing._

 _It has been awhile since he gained access to the living world._

 _This will be fun._

* * *

 _Zuko is strangely aware. He knows what will happen. Any second now, Toph will mental bend the cooler's door and he will come face to face with his uncle. But sadly their attempts will be futile…_

It doesn't have to be. And you know it.

Stop! He can't abandon his son again! He won't!

 _The door yanked open and he sees his uncle's worried expression as the man tries to gently carry him out._

Look. Here is your chance… no one will blame you for wanting to save your own life. It's painful, being burned…

" _Hey princess, you're safe now!" Toph tries to lighten the mood. Although her voice was light her features were the opposite. He must be in pretty bad shape even to a blind person._

 _Zuko is then aware of Katara tearing his shirt to check his conditions. He felt his uncle unsteady hands tighten his hold and heard Katara gasp with unmasked horror. One thing he was grateful for was seeing them one last time._

" _What guys? It's that bad?" Inserted the earthbender._

" _Wha-what have they done to you…? You're skin and bones..." Her gentle voice was a hollow whisper._

 _His uncle's eyes stared sadly at the burns and scars all over his body. "I'm sorry nephew to have arrived so late." The scar his father gave must seemed like child's play compared to the rest on his body._

" _Guys can we do this later? Aang and Sokka can't hold them off much longer."_

" _I know you can't see, but he needs first aid now!" With a grim face Katara immediately bend water out of her pitcher._

See. This is what you want, isn't it? To be saved.

No…

Don't lie.

…no.

 _Zuko manage to gasp out, "There's no point… saving me."_

Don't act so righteous. They'd probably killed the child by now. People lie, remember?

" _What are you saying nephew? We need to hurry—"_

Save yourself. You want to see your mother... don't you?

" _Uncle, I don't have much time left." It was getting harder to breath, "Please save Azula, she's held underground."_

" _Zuko this isn't the time." And his uncle was right. He could hear the loud explosions approaching with the sounds of Sokka's voice._

 _The waterbender expand the healing water to the rest of his lower body. Her eyes holding back tears as she assures, "Zuko don't give up! I'll definitely save you. You need to come with us now or the disease will further deteriorate your cells."_

" _What?!" Simultaneous shock came from Toph and his uncle._

 _His coughing fits came at the perfect moment. Every time when this happens, it felt like he'll cough up a lung or two. It was no surprise after it ended that blood spatter on his hand and ran down his chin._

 _There faces morph into helpless despair as Zuko painfully sat up. He was used to it. He felt such emotions all his life. But he didn't want anyone, especially his important people to have to suffer because of him._

" _Zuko!" Katara tone warn him not to move in his condition, but before she could, he inject, "Even if I could, I can't… My son…"_

Don't lie… You know it. The boy is dead. Give in and save yourself.

" _I'll help with the distraction. You guys help Azula."_

Stupid boy. Do you want to burn alive again? Do you want to die again? Take the escape given to you!

" _What are you talking about Zuko? Your son is safe with Mai!"_

Do you not seek vengeance?!

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You do not control me!

Boy, do not tempt me.

Fuck you.

" _Azula is dead Zuko."_

 _His world tilt._

 _There is an awful ringing laugh in the sterile air. The voices of his friends and uncle seems to fade._

 _His mother's voice replaced the laugher. A gentle and warm breeze that uttered, "The world is cold, and flowers wilt swiftly dear. Let her go."_

No.

" _My brave boy, you have accomplished plenty. You have made your mother proud."_

 _He sees his mother in a sudden blooming field of white snapdragons._

" _Come to your mother's arms."_

 _The smell of the flowers was intoxicating. He came rushing, jumping to her embrace. He was a child again. Her sweet voice rang like music in his ears as her warm arms comfort his tired soul._

" _Rest, dear. I'll be here when you wake up." Her fingers played with his hair in gentle, calming strokes._

 _He shows his best smile as he wraps his hands around her neck. They both fell into the sweet nectar of snapdragons as he tightened the hold. The flowers started to bleed at the point of his squeeze. He did not stop._

 **"How did you know?"**

"She was far crueler."

 _There is a chuckle._

 **"The body is yours for now…"**

 _It was his to begin with. In the first place, he never believed in sweet proposition about second chances. There is no such thing as he watch the form of his mother dispersing into red petals. There is no such place._

Zuko opens his eyes and is faced with corpses, blood and the stench of burning flesh beneath his feet. In front was a young Azula shielding their mother, her flame an unfamiliar orange. Her eyes were concealing it quite well; he was trained enough to sense the fear in them.

He then recognized the underground tunnels he'd used to escape on the night he lost everything. What came surprisingly next was feeling no weariness in his body, no disease eating away at his life and the delicious power of being able to bend. It was surreal that his body felt so agile, so youthful, so _functional_ again.

And he smirked.

 _It's good to be back._

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

I always had a feeling that being the smart and rational person Azula was, she could sense that Ozai only loved her for her talent, not the person she was. Yet, he was the only person that showed affection for her, so tragically even though she knew, she still held on to that love because there was no one else. Therefore, she still tried to meet Ozai's expectation in order to retain that love. I hope I portray it well with her in-character.

 **Anaesthetic:** is used for serious operations where the person is unconscious and unaware of the procedure.

 **Flowers:**

 **Aster:** means remembrance and promise of never forgetting. In this case, Ursa told Zuko to not forget his promise to take care of Azula, which is ironic when it was Ursa that separated them and made their relationship the way it was.

 **Amaranthus:** represent hopelessness, desertion, but the person is not being heartless in the act. Ursa considered her actions to be righteous, she felt trapped and doesn't have any other ways to protect her children. Even if the act itself leads to her abandoning her children in order to protect them.

 **Lotus:** in many religion the flower is associated with spirituality; death and rebirth. The Egyptian even has a book of spells to turn the dead into lotus, thus allowing for resurrection.

 **Snapdragon:** represent grace, strength and deception. In this case the flower portrays the serpent's power to manipulate people's desires through deception as a charm to scam Zuko into this falsehood in order to steal his body and gain access to the living world.

 **Reviews** would be appreciated for a faster update :)


	4. This Side of Paradise

Thank you, jackiepriinzee, Anonymous, QueenB and Icewhisker21 for the encouraging reviews on chapter 3! Without you guys this chapter would have been sitting on the back burner till I felt motivated to write (probably months later) XD

Now I have to give credit where they're due, so thank you Aurelia le for her amazing story, "Dominion". It inspired me with Azula's starvation and the idea of Zuko asking Aang to take her bending away. I'm such a big fan of that story so please check it out!

To make it clear, this is **NOT** chapter 4.

Sorry that this will be another depressing chapter, but do enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own A:TLA.

* * *

 **Chapter 3.5: This Side of Paradise**

Azula never liked recalling her childhood. It was unpleasant, it was weakness, it was shameful. She liked to think of it as a tiny stain that she eagerly wanted to erase. After all, it was hard to admit, but she was once as foolish as Zuko. She had memories when she stupidly assumed Mother had loved her, when she had undisputed admiration for her brother… and the childishness of a three-year-old's absolute faith in family. Before she was called _prodigy_ , before realizing who her mother truly loved, before her brother's green envy and before receiving her father's love — Azula might have been... human.

Peering into the darkness, she saw herself enjoying her mother's bedtime stories, following her brother around like a second shadow, their re-enactment of _Love Amongst the Dragons,_ and how in all of them, she almost appeared stupidly _happy._

When Azula reached what she deemed as maturity, those memories seemed like sugar-crystal fairy tales. Dreams she conjured to cope with the undesirable parts of her adolescence; the monsters that lurked in the darkness as night approached, made her childhood murkier than most.

She liked to think that the wasteland of her memories stemmed from her mother's unwillingness to love her. But the murkiness were rooted in her father, who was the epitome of power in her eyes. He, who resembled the numerous portraits of Sozin, hailed as the Greatest Firebender of all — was her idol, her goal. She tried to mold herself in his image. Azula would do anything to meet his expectations. After all, when she is the best, her mother will surely notice her.

But as she became stronger, faster, _better_ than Zuko, things got worse. It seems she'll never be good enough for that woman's attention. So Azula did what was most familiar to her.

She smiled at Ursa's fear of her, the clear disapproval and the lies that woman surrounded herself with. Ursa held many secrets and when Azula had discovered them Ursa avoided her daughter entirely. When it came to her disappearance, Azula couldn't be happier.

Before long, the smile came effortlessly. It was directed at the venom of the courts, at her father's guidance and her brother's scar. Azula will not be anything less than perfect.

Trust is for fools. Friendship is only a backstabbing game. Family is an obstacle to overcome. Love is merely steppingstones to be used.

 _Fear is the only reliable way._

* * *

At an early age, Azula came to like hurting others. It filled up the hole inside. _It's why she lies._ To see their faces contort, once confronted with truth is one of her many pleasures. That _twist_ , the demented horror in their expressions as they become unraveled, the despair enclosing them as they entered her web unknowingly — _it brought her gratification of unparalleled power._

The best always was her dearest brother.

When he was burned, scarred, damaged beyond repair, Azula laughed because she was glad it wasn't her. When he was branded by father, she smiled because it was the expression most familiar to her. She was taught to smile when she doesn't know how to react. It is the best way to conceal weakness; let your enemies assume you know what to expect, that your guard is flawless. For she was never venerable.

Azula is strong unlike Zuko. She will never be like Zuko. She is better than him. She is father's pride and joy and she must keep it that way. If she doesn't lie, how can she protect herself? People are stupid to be defenceless, to let others in to be abandoned and betrayed. It will never happen to her. It doesn't hurt, because she never allows anyone to get that close.

Controlling them through fear is the best way to weed out any thoughts of treason. Only the weak are betrayed, not her, never her because she is strong and people follow those who are powerful.

 _Yet —_

 _Why?_

 _ **Why?!**_

Mai…

Ty Lee…

She didn't understand. It was irrational and it went beyond everything she knew. Love? Friendship? Such beautiful things never existed in her world of grey, making their betrayal minor and nonexistent. It didn't affect her in the slightest.

Azula, the Prodigy, the Conqueror of Ba Sing Se needed no one. She recited the faith she held since childhood almost religiously: Trust is for fools. Friendship is only a backstabbing game. Family is an obstacle to overcome. Love is merely steppingstones to be used. _Fear is the only reliable way._

Repeatedly, consistently, obsessively. It was all she could do in this hellhole of white, sedation and pills.

She should've been alone from the start. After all, she thrived on her own. This sickness of the mind was only a pebble in her path.

She is strength, nothing less but perfect, so how could she lose?

" _You lie so you won't get hurt."_ The hallucination of her mother nagged and Azula couldn't muster the energy to go and strangle it, so she opted to ignore the thing.

Zuko thinks this place is helping her, but he's only deluding himself. Everyone here are incompetent. They are optimistic, naive at best. The psychiatrists weren't helping, but making her worse by trying to get her to confess her feelings and urging her to tell the _truth_. Truth doesn't solve everything, it only hurts. She had firsthand experience when Zuko told the truth to their father on the Day of Black Sun — she took the pain for him — while her brother remained unburdened. Even if she did such a stupid thing (and she did numerous times for _him_ )… who would believe her? It's so rooted in them: _Azula always lies. Azula always lies. Azula always lies!_ Even she was starting to believe it.

" _I love you. And you know he loves you. We are family. We love —"_

"You are **destroying** me!" It was a futile outburst, but she was no longer able to contain her anger. Like lies, the hallucination faded. Azula rolled her eyes at the apparition's typical antics. She must be rid of it quickly. She hates when she is not in control. Especially when they pump her full of drugs, which cloud her mind, making her unable to move, speak or think! Sometimes she was forced to sleep without a say. She hated sleep. That's where true monsters lurked.

Azula despised being chi blocked, the white walls, her barren room and the smell of anaesthetic that seeps around like a mist, pervading her clothes, her skin and even the very recesses of her _mind._ It was driving her insane. If she couldn't bend, what good was her life? She couldn't remain living like this or she was afraid she'll never escape.

When she pretended to take her pills, the solution came with coherent clarity. Kill the source and be done with it. At first, she had tried to bite her tongue off. That didn't end well. Since then, she was gagged while being constantly monitored. Her second attempt, another failure. She tried to choke herself to death. Now her food were liquids with an IV drip suck to her 24/7. Numerous more attempts became futile varying between drowning herself as she bathed, suffocating through her saliva, hitting her head against the walls, dehydration, etc.

Her last hope was starvation.

Zuko seemed annoyed enough to have visited her. As a sister, she was kind enough to offer him an incentive to end her faster than starvation ever could. It was what he yearned for the longest time. Yet he was a coward — still daring to maintain that pretentious facade of a righteous hero. But she knew, he was the most cruel and ruthless of all.

She is keen on the fine details. It was obvious he wanted her gone for the longest time. Now that he was in power, he thought he was above her. Those eyes filled with pity, angered her to boundless ends. Her fury had made her see blood, _his blood._ She will be having the last laugh. She always has.

After all, it's fine if he refused his best interest. It was his choice and his choices were always wrong. Force feeding her with pills and vitamins and sedation is one thing. But taking away her bending is another.

Zuzu had the nerves to send his little Avatar friend to try and take her bending! If the kid actually dared, Azula would have taken them both to the afterlife. However, that wasn't the case as he quickly left after a few minutes of probably what she considered contemplation. It seemed the Avatar was smart enough to value his own life over pleasing her useless good-for-nothing brother.

There were many qualities she hated about Zuko. The dominant one being his similarities to their mother. Their compassion is merciless — smothering to the point she would burn herself than let them continue taking from her! But he would never think that because Zuko only sees what he wants to see. And he never saw her. He was selfish and spoiled and naive to the extreme. He only cared about himself and saw nothing else. _Still, she doesn't understand why everyone always chooses him in the end..._

A smile so familiar graced her lips.

That doesn't matter. The weak can stick together to lick their wounds for all she cared. She is strong and she needs no one. After all, she is Azula, the Conquer of Ba Sing Se. There is nothing she can't do.

* * *

Tranquility. The sound of flowing water mixed with the chirping of birds as warm summer heat touched her skin. The colorful garden surrounding the place was well-tended, exquisite comparable to the royal garden. Overhead were cloudless blue skies and a slight breeze carrying the scent of lush flowers. The cottage within the Forgotten Valley was the very opposite of the grandeur of the palace. The Fire Nation Princess stood outside its door petrified.

She hesitate to enter, dreading the confrontation inside. She doesn't know what to expect and she was one who likes to be in control, to know her opponents and be steps ahead. But there is one person that shuts it all down. Azula inhaled sharply readying herself as she reached for the handle — the wooden door flings open taking her by surprise. What Azula fears stared right back at her.

"M — _Ursa_."

"You're finally here! I waited so long..." Azula felt an uncomfortable embrace and automatically stilled. Surprised lingered. Her mother recognized her this time.

"My, look at you. A girl's hair is her life! Your hair's a mess and you're so skinny..." Ursa look eagerly, searchingly to try and spot something that won't ever appear. Azula clenched her fists tighter. _Of course._

"Where is he?" _Mother always did love Zuzu best._

Instead of answering Azula strode straight into the house and sat in the living room couch. She crossed one leg above the other, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable.

Ursa entered with worried features. "Where is Zuko, Azula?"

She stared at her mother evenly. "Dead," her voice was monotonous, her eyes blank and body perfectly composed. Azula could not say the same for Ursa.

Shock came first. Then denial and before long, blame. Her mother was always like this, acting kind and compassionate when in need of something. _Always appearing so fragile, looking so helpless and vulnerable!_ The definition of weak.

"Y-you said you'll bring him back to me!"

"No, I never promised you anything." She gripped the hysteric woman's wrist before her mother could slap her.

Azula released the hold as Ursa yanked her hand to her chest. "What is wrong with you? How could you be smiling when your brother is dead?!"

Azula did not realize she was.

"Why... why didn't you save him?! …unless you wanted him dead!"

She frowned her brows, held her voice steady as she spoke, "I sacrificed myself in exchange for his son while risking my life informing his friends the location so they could rescue him. Zuko was foolish and hadn't taken the chance. It's on his head, not mine. "

Azula could tell Ursa was so lost in her own world, that what she'd said flew right over the woman's head. This was further proven when her mother asked, "D-did you see him?"

"No, they kept us separate. However…" Azula trailed off waiting for her mother to take the bait.

"Wh-what?" Ursa's voice shook as her eyes became terrified.

"It's probably nothing… I'm the crazy one after all."

" _Tell me."_ Now this was the mother Azula knew. The stern woman that once drove her into a corner and pushed her to be someone she was not. The woman who feared instead of love her own daughter.

"They told me your precious boy broke."

"Wha…"

Azula was never one to miss an opportunity. "Torture and mind games seemed to be too much for the sweet, _softie_ you raised with so much love, _Mother."_

Ursa struggled to comprehend, but managed, "...not another word, young lady."

That old, far too _familiar_ phrase always quirked the Fire Princess. Those words that burned deep and remained scarred. _No more._ Her mother will not have such power over her again. Azula _will not_ allow Ursa to take anymore from her!

"Look at me."

The woman was having a little panic attack as she paced in a circle, eyes downcast while furiously chewing her nails. She was aimless and lost in thoughts.

"Look at me!" Her voice was louder and more fierce than she planned. Her mother continued to look anywhere, but her.

Azula gritted her teeth before biting out, "it's ironic, isn't it? Who would've guessed that I would be the one you have left, _Mother."_

"Why do you keep…"

"What?" Azula furrow her brows.

She saw Ursa tightly clench her eyes as she squeezed both hands to her chest. Then the woman looked at her as miserable as the time when she saw her daughter's first flame. Azula still regretted picking her mother as the first person for what she thought was the happiest day of her life.

This woman before Azula was a nightmare disguised as a daydream. From her delicate nature to her fragile appearance — Ursa use it all to her benefit; she knows about vulnerabilities and takes advantage of them. She takes and takes until nothing is left... but abandonment.

"Did you try?"

The Fire Princess raised an elegant eyebrow. She couldn't believe what she'd heard. Did her mother actually _questioned_ her attempt and said that it wasn't good enough? _Was she kidding?_ Azula barely escaped, if not for that foolish brother of hers staking his life for his stupid morals, they could have both gotten out! Her plan would have been perfect if he had left her to escape with his friends!

Ursa glare suddenly got fierce. "Did you try?" She repeated as if Azula was deaf. Her voice had a sudden edge as she firmly state, "With your abilities you could have prevented it."

Azula was beyond speechless! She tightened her fists in disbelief, " _His execution?"_

 **"Yes!"**

Her body tensed, slightly surprised at Ursa's outburst and the frustration fuming in the woman's eyes. Thankfully, Azula had mastered her mask of indifference.

"Unlikely, since I was held captive, _comatose._ And let's not forget his place of execution wasn't publicly announced! I only heard that he died in a backwater village. Just today, by the way."

"You're lying! You're lying!"

 **"Accept it! Zuko is dead!"** Her voice rang out raw and harsh.

All of a sudden, the fury, the blame and denial seem to have left her mother in a gush of wind as Ursa fell to her knees in tears. "Ooh, my poor child... my precious boy..." Her hands to her face with broken sobs unlike anything Azula had seen before. No one has ever wept for her like this... and she doesn't think anyone will when she dies...

Azula gaze down at her mother with distant eyes. The words, _you still have me_ rings annoyingly within. She crushed the stupid thought and instead said, "Zuko is lucky. He died believing you're dead Mother. Your plans fooled him good. To have only burnt the face and left the body for dear Zuko to discover in order to give him reason to abandon his search. After all, you wouldn't want the children you'd forsaken to ruin your _happiness_ with your new family."

Ursa glared up at her venomously before shouting, "How were you raised to became so awful! I asked you to help me find my son and you keep talking nonsense! You remind me of my daughter!"

Azula paused and picked her next words carefully. "And where is this daughter?"

"With that man."

"What man?"

Her mother glared, before stating, "A powerful firebender that I want nothing of."

Azula stared at the woman on the ground, trying to see if it was another relapse. These lapses come unexpected, like a switch for the woman to cope with her madness. It was unfortunate, she had assumed her mother was sane today.

"Who am I?" It was always the best question to confirm when Ursa was having one of her lapses.

Golden eyes gave her a strange look before answering, "The bounty hunter that promised to help me find my son!"

Azula's frown deepened. "How old is your son?"

"How many time must I tell you?! He's only ten! He needs me!"

Azula tightened her fists before announcing, "Zuko is dead Mother and I'm the only one you got for protection against _them_. They're coming for you."

Ursa's features morphed into confusion before her frustration got the better of her and she shouts, "You're crazy! I don't even know what you're talking about!"

"Of course you don't. You never had." Azula spit out as she stood and glared with icy eyes. Then she left with a loud bang of the door.

After all, the woman Azula once regarded as a mother is now an empty shell. Like a broken record, Ursa forgets and recalls and recreates whatever reality pleases her. By tomorrow, Azula might even have to reintroduce herself. She doesn't even bother talking to the woman in that state anymore. Numerous times it has ended in failure.

Before this sickness of the mind ate away at her mother, Azula had hoped to confront the woman of her childhood nightmares in order to be rid of the hallucinations. Instead she gets a dose of reality that made her prefer her hallucinations any day than this.

 _Zuko was lucky._ He will never witness his perfect, sweet mother in such a state. He never had to deal with anything _too_ unpleasant. So he'll never get tainted and ugly and filthy. Just as always, he'll be protected by his innocence.

He turns a blind eye and is content with hating himself, blaming others for his mistakes, regretting his decisions while dying without knowing _anything_. Leaving her alone to endure and sustain from a decaying mess he had created. Yet through it all, he'll still be loved. He _is_ loved… Be it his friends, _Uncle_ or their mother. Zuko can't seemed to stop taking from her. Even in death he torments her. He thinks he knows suffering, always making himself out to be the victim of a horrible tragedy. _Cry her a fucking river._ Zuko understand nothing about _true_ suffering. Ignorance is bliss. Death is forgiving.

Thinking back, Azula never wanted much since she had everything. But what Zuko had, Azula wanted. So when Azula had found Ursa, she wanted more than anything to destroy that perfect little family Ursa had made. A little girl Azula saw being adored and a man so different from the father she had. A parent's kiss, their comfort, their embrace... It never lasted for her to comprehend parental affection.

Her mother never held such a joy as she cared for the child and that man. Azula couldn't understand. She always had to struggle to attain what she thought was happiness, yet everything she thought she knew, everything she accomplished was only a castle of sand easily toppled. Doesn't matter if it was sand or ashes, they eventually escape her grasp.

Her luck always came through, even in the most twisted of ways, it'll always grant her desires. With their untimely death, Ursa broke down and started showing signs of dementia. The accident caused brain damage and their deaths triggered the mental trauma of memory disorders and impaired reasoning. It seemed Ursa was desperate to forget the pain and Azula couldn't let her mother go. Ursa had deserved what came. After all, the woman had abandon the family she had. It was selfishness on Ursa's part to get a restart in life.

It was not her fault.

As Azula entered the room of Hira'a's inn, she could have smiled and laughed and celebrated her brother's death. She truly was an only child now! Azula could still revel in her mother's insanity. Instead it is easier collapsing to the dirty tile floor of the small bathroom and cry as cold spray touches her face.

Her brother is dead, her nephew's whereabouts are unknown, her uncle lost, her genocidal father is on the loose, and her mother, insane.

Her nation is in a state of civil war between two fractions; The New Ozai Society and The Liberation Republic.

However, as long as she survives, nothing matters.

She has a roof over her head.

She has clothes on her back.

She has food to eat.

So everything is fine.

.

.

.

 _Even if the world ends tomorrow._

 _She'll be fine._

* * *

Sometimes she dreams.

She is a child again, naive and foolish. Her mother is beside her, unfamiliar because she's so loving — almost motherly. And Azula instantly knew it wasn't real.

This was wrong. Since she doesn't recognize herself being so carefree, without a mask, without her armor or ever smiling so brightly that she was afraid her jaw would fall.

They were planting red roses, her small hands were covered in dirt and face sweaty from the sunlight. Never had she imagined herself lowering herself to the level of a peasant. Father said it was disgraceful, but she oddly felt happy — almost free from the burden of being a Fire Nation Princess.

"Ouch!" She felt a burn. The thorn had prick her index finger. Blood was pouring down dying her hand and everything around her red.

"Careful dear. Let me see," her mother said gently before reaching for the injury.

"Now don't cry my little dragon. My beautiful girl can't let a minor injury ruin her day." Ursa smile as she waved a servant with clean water and a fresh towel their way.

Azula nodded as she soaked her hands into the bowl of water, squeezing her eyes away from the sting and the reddening water. Her mother must have sensed her fear for she gently wiped her hands dry while she concealed the bloody white towel. Azula can't stand the sight of blood.

Father had lectured Zuko that red should be worn at all times, for red signifies one's willingness to spill blood for the Fire Nation. Red is not just for their element of fire, but one's patriotism to be dauntless in the face of death. Her brother's face was horrified, but Azula knew that was the last thing he should do. Like she was taught, Azula smiled. She'd hoped he noticed her example so he doesn't get in more trouble. That day, she never told anyone, but she came to hate (fear) the color red.

Azula was pulled back with her mother's soft voice. "That's my dragon." Ursa then kissed the wound and said, "Does my kiss makes the pain bearable?"

Azula giggle before answering, "Maybe once more to be safe Mother!"

Ursa looked amused before kissing it twice more and embrace her daughter in a cheerful hug.

"Thank you. It's all... haha better now!" She laughs happily as she was tickled by gentle hands.

Ursa release and kissed her sweetly once more on the forehead. But Azula was still reluctant in resuming with their task. She was afraid she'll get hurt again.

"Think of these roses as me and I'll promise you, they'll return your love. As much as I love you."

"Really?" Azula asked skeptically.

"You don't believe in love darling? Don't tell me you don't love me? Your mother is slightly hurt..." Ursa fake a sadness in her demeanour.

"Of course that's not it Mom!" Azula had accidentally addressed her mother informally as she abashedly tried to ease her mother's worry. She knew better than be informal. Her father taught her that. It would've been a grave mistake in her father's presence. Azula look timidly up at Ursa. Her mother didn't look displeased as she thought! She seem to have barely noticed!

"Then…?"

"I love you… Mom." Her face was more crimson than the roses. She always wanted to call her mother the way her brother always did. It was much more intimate. It felt right.

"I do too sweetie." Ursa cheerfully chirped before declaring, "Exactly like the meaning this flower represent. My love for you and Zuko is eternal."

"Promised?" She had uttered unsure if she had overstep her boundaries.

Ursa reassured, "More than anything, I love you Azula. I do."

Then the dream faded and Azula finally realized. That was the last memory she had with Ursa before her fire spark. Before the flames that burned hot in her palm became uncontrollable as she eagerly tried to make her mother proud. The point came when she'd burn her mother and was made into a monster.

Before it all, Azula was taught that flowers were language of expressions; secret messages for the people she loved and trusted. She had used it. Her mother lied. She did not receive anymore kisses even when she places numerous flowers of apologies outside Ursa's door everyday. The extent of her happiness ended there.

* * *

The next day Azula found Ursa with petals on her lips and a face of blissful sleep. _Poison._ Her mother had poisoned herself, as if her only escape was sleep. Azula stared at her mother's corpse in blank silence. Till the very end, she could never have that love. She will never be loved. For her mother had left her too.

She took the note from her mother's grip and with steady hands unfolded the parchment. Azula recognized the elegant penmanship for she had found similar characters in hidden letters before. The secret her mother held made Ozai reproach Zuko and Ursa's unconditional affection for him. Since that day, Azula could not stand looking at her mother or regard her uncle as a great man. All the secrets she tried desperately to keep in burst as she open the parchment.

Three characters was all that was written.

 _Forgive me._

Azula could not stand it. Forgiveness was foreign to her. She felt attacked instead. Still, she couldn't stop herself from reading it again and again and again! No matter how many times she tortured herself scanning the content trying to find some undiscovered meaning or hidden message, like how her mother always was with flowers, the three vile characters seemed to mock her every time, never changing their meaning. The message smoked in her palms as Azula crushed it into a ball.

Three characters. Her mother had left her three worthless, fucking characters as if Azula was such a saint offering forgiveness left and right. She wasn't the Avatar, she doesn't forgive. She was never taught such a shameful thing.

Till the very end, her mother was truly and despicably selfish.

She heard rustling of pages from behind. Azula turned and saw pages after pages fluttering out the window on top a small wooden table. She approached and grabbed one from flying off to scan its content.

Azula effortlessly put her mask in place as she scramble to read every single parchment. The first few had been written in perfect elegant hand, but quickly it became sloppy as if the writer was in a race against time. The pages on the floor were just messy squibbles of unreadable characters and finally the bottom of the pile were completely blank. Azula gathered all the pages in order as if it was a book before its binding were teared.

The pages were the memories her mother tried desperately to keep. Azula's mind could clearly see that the forms of the characters were the countdown to her existence. Where she would cease being a Fire Princess, a mother, and simply a woman known as Ursa. Azula uncrumpled the scorched ball in her palm and placed the final page, the last Ursa had written before her suicide, into the bottom of the pile.

 _Forgive me._

The dying words of a woman who had tormented her for years. Who had made Ozai Fire Lord. Who had abandoned her duty, her children and escaped selfishly. The person who had created the present world... ended everything with three worthless characters.

 _Weak._ Azula stood, place the pile of parchments into Ursa's hands, then walked to the bedroom closet and took out a white sheet. She then proceed to fluff it out and spread it over Ursa's body. Azula grimaced as the red of the woman's lips seeped into the white sheet with the smell of Geraniums penetrated through every corner of the room.

With one final glance, Azula exited the cottage and stood outside of the serene place before blue flames engulf the house, devouring the surroundings. The sky was blue, the birds were still chirping as everything burned down in ruins.

She watched as if she was in a trance as flowers burned to ashes like everything else in her life being consumed in flames. The structure was charred black and crumbling like the state of her world. No, like the state of the current world.

This time she couldn't bring forth that effortless smile.

Azula watch with a stoic demeanor. Blue flames danced to bright orange as smoke _stings_ her vision. One thing she would never admit to anyone... the thing that she'll bring to her grave… The one _truth_ she struggled to hold — was that she once loved.

Now, it burns with her flames.

Sometimes, it's better to slay your emotions... to stay alive.

* * *

Azula woke slowly as she felt a traitorous tear slip to streak down her face. She hurriedly wipe the weakness away. Yet, she didn't recall why it was there in the first place.

"Return to your room. You've done well." In the darkness she heard her father's praise and immediately answer, "Thank you, Father."

She quickly gotten off the bed. She wrapped her robe around herself and tied the sash as tightly as possible to the point she found comfort in being unable to breathe. She thanked Agni for the darkness that concealed the tear she had unknowingly shed in her father's presence. Ozai was never the lenient type to allow weakness to go unpunished.

Azula felt her father's gleaming eyes piercing her back.

"Azula."

It took everything out of her not flinch. She turns and respond, "Yes, Father."

Silk sheets rustled in the silence as he took a sitting position before tone commanding, "Remember to drink the tea as scheduled. Dismissed."

She held a breath of relief before bowing and closing his chamber doors. She just hoped he didn't noticed the slight limp in her steps. Azula prayed to the heavens that the pain will lessen tomorrow and that the maids doesn't notice the bruises which trailed her thighs and buttlocks. She'll likely have to dress herself for a while.

Azula hated seeing the dark blue, green and purple marks on her skin… they carved, burned, _scarred._ She hated it almost as badly as the color red. She felt nothing of the achievement or exalt when her father said to treat them like medals… The irritation itches. Disgust crawl on her like maggots living in her veins. Surfacing thoughts which made her less than she was: dirty, filthy — blackened beyond repair.

When she gets to the royal bath, Azula goes through the motions, apathetically, numbly as if she was a machine, performing the actions countless times, rehearsed and scripted. Ice cold water sprayed her bare skin. Azula scrubbed herself meticulously; every notch and grain of dirt on all parts of her body again and again, each time more roughly, harsher than the first, till her entire body turned an ugly pink. The redder it got, the more herself she felt.

Yet no matter how much she continued the motion, how many times her skin told her to stop, Azula felt nowhere clean. All she could do was numb her senses in the spray of the water as it lessen the swelling of the bruises. Sting, blemished, empty. She doesn't want to think about it. But she _needs_ to. She can't leave any scars on her body or people will get suspicious. If she follows the given routine, it should fade. It usually does, usually… Hopefully it doesn't remain like the first few…

She couldn't bath all night, though she wanted to. But even if she did, she'll never be clean again. With reluctance, Azula quietly made her way to the kitchen. She prepared the tea as instructed and drank the bitterness down. When she went to leave, a sudden smell caught her attention. It made her venture further into the inner kitchen where it should've been forbidden to use at night.

Once she reached the inner corridors, smaller than the outer main kitchen area, Azula found her brother hunch against a door with a glass to one ear. Azula smirked. Well, if that doesn't screamed 'secret behind the kitchen door' she doesn't know what does.

Being the information lover she was, Azula merge her steps and breathing with the shadows before striking her brother on the back of his neck. She couldn't risk him knowing more than her, could she? Her brother gasped before she quickly caught him and the cup. She then pressed her ear to the glass cup like he did and her eyes gleamed. So this was what Father wanted hidden. Why he was so distracted with his guidance tonight.

She could easily piece the puzzle together since Azula was the factor that made Ursa act in accordance to prevent the worse of Zuko's fate. Who knew Mother had it in her? Azula guessed her escape plan for Zuzu won't be wasted.

For the Royal family, actions speak more than pretty words ever can.

* * *

Her brother had always been a burden to her, now he was literally a burden she has to carry to bed. Azula sourly dropped Zuko's unconscious body onto his bed and wanted to immediately return to her own chamber to get some sleep.

To her annoyance, Zuko had dared to grab her hand before she could turn and leave. Her anger fumed. He had no right to touch her without permission. But her glare met closed eyes as Zuko groaned, twisted and turned in his sleep. During it all, he never released his grip on her. Azula stared, analyzing the situation to bend to her advantage.

The darkness and his hand might conceal the tears in his lids, but Azula knew they were no sweat.

 _Even in your sleep you're weak, Brother._

Weak and foolish and always needing protection. Mother can't shield you forever... and either can I...

Azula closed in on Zuko's face as he mumbles in his sleep. Then a stupid thought came: the thought of acting weak and pathetic to gain Mother's favor. To be fawn over like her brother and be freed from her Father. But can she allow herself to be _weak?_

She can't display any emotions or she'll be killed by this place. But at least she can keep them right? She can still express herself through the language of flowers. She can still try to convey her emotions. She hopes she'll break through someday.

Azula can at least be herself in this dark silence. She leans into his ears and whisper, "...u. I do..." Her brother's face seemed to calm immensely as if the phrase has vanquished his demons. Azula felt slightly proud of herself, since this was a method Mother had used on her when she still believed in the monsters under her bed.

Azula no longer believed in monsters under the bed, since the real monsters lay dormant within human hearts. And she was scared of the monster in her. The day she gained her fire was the day her mother called her a monster.

But her brother is pure, untainted with his innocence. He has no such monster crawling under his skin. She would like to believe he can remain this way. But at the same time she wants to tarnish such innocence their mother protected. The palace is a disgusting, corrupted place where innocence is choked to death.

Azula slowly edged closer to her brother's lips. She is inches away, so close that she could feel his breath. She can corrupt him, hurt him more than he has hurt her. Like Father, she can close the gap.

Azula trembles, her hands slightly shake clenching the silk sheets. She suddenly noticed a gleam on the bedside table. It was the pearl dagger she came to envy him for.

The inscription flash in her mind and Azula stopped.

She tightly clutched the dagger to her chest as she held her eyes close. Frantically she tries to shake the ugly notion from her skull. The dagger was a lifeline in her abyss.

She'll never give up without a fight. Zuko is nothing like their father. He is kind, gentle and too compassionate for his own good. He can never survive in her world. So she mustn't drag him in.

With the pearl dagger as her guide Azula retreated. But like how she desires it, her luck will continues to torment her.

Zuko's eyes flashed open and she is once again pulled into the sickening waves of dirty water, sweaty sheets with a kiss that is all too familiar.

Like fire and poison, their kiss consume.

* * *

 **Flowers:**

 **Geraniums:** their petals are poisonous to humans. In the language of flowers it can mean many things, but in Ursa's suicide, it represent foolishness and stupidly in Azula's eyes.

Like it? Hate it? Let me know with your lovely **reviews** :) Let's get more than 4 this time, pretty please?


	5. The Outside of Madness

Since I love all the reviews, favourites and follows this story was getting, I became motivated and release this chapter much faster than anticipated! Thanks for all the loving!

Without further ado, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own A:TLA.

* * *

 **Chapter 4: The Outside of Madness**

"Have you heard?" He watched as she locked the bedroom door.

He stood silent in the center of the room analyzing her every movement. Zuko was highly alert. Even at this age, Azula was deadly.

"Grizzly murders have been occurring in the Capital these past nights. _More than they should."_ She twirled around him with a knowing smirk in place.

He maintained a neutral face. He knows, several were collaborative fallen noble houses eager for vengeance on the Royal family and the rest were related to the assassins he interrogated. _It was better to pluck the weeds by its roots than let it grow destructive._

"Rumors say it's Grandfather's ghost, others state it was a Blue Spirit." Azula leers close to his face, analyzing his features.

He held a distant gaze, contemplating whether he made the wrong choice. Nostalgia got the better of him when he'd chosen it from his mother's collections. Perhaps he should've worn a less conspicuous mask…

"You ambushed me outside of the infirmary merely for gossip?" He challenged as he easily slid her hands off his shoulders. His sister was like a panther-tiger pouncing from behind. He couldn't allow her to gain the upperhand.

"Well, other than the complaints from the nobles about recent robberies and whatnot, there appeared to be a new player in the underground dealings."

 _Azula knew and she was playing him._ It was true, he needed large funds to maintain his network of spies as well as other required items... The perfect victims would be the wealthy pigs of the Capital, of course. They had too much dirty money lying around for their own good, so he thought he should help with the cleanup. Who knew they'd kept track?

Still, Zuko told himself, he won't play into her hands. But what baited him was her awareness concerning the latter part. If she knew what he'd wanted from the black market exchange, things would get problematic.

"Who told you that?"

She giggled as she encircled him like a lion-vulture. Zuko knew he fell right into that one, but he wasn't fazed. She was still young to have the mistake of showing off her cards.

"My spies of course. I heard you even coerce some yourself."

He had calculated that. Implanting seeds of doubts into this information war was the objective. If it were his old-self, he would've been furious that she saw through it so fast. After all, this was the perfect opportunity to move, collect and develop his foundation before the chaos of Azulon's death dissolved and Ozai notice. This was Azula's domain, so she obviously took advantage of it to bait others into her web. His sister has the territorial advantage, wherein he just entered the stage. Let the act begin.

Zuko gave an amused smile as he easily weaved out of her grasp and found a comfortable spot to sit. Azula was correct on all matters since he has been busy for quite the couple of sleepless nights. But he wasn't going to give her that pleasure. Not since the morning of Azulon's death, Ursa's disappearance and his return from the spirit world.

Zuko had so much to do, yet so little time.

Burning and disposal of bodies to interrogations in the torture chambers was an exhausting job for a boy his age. Well, he had to admit it was quite entertaining, yet ungodly short. It seemed his experiences from torture were more vast and skillfully executed than expected. His first test subjects were survivors of his mother's assassination plot. He had hunted those who managed to escape and tested his skills a little. They barely lasted a candle before they confessed the parties involved. A pity they weren't Ozai's.

"What do you want Azula? Grandfather's funeral will start soon."

" _Where's Mother?"_ Her playful nature was replaced with a murderous glare. Guess she was still holding a grudge after he knocked her out that night in the tunnels. It was probably also fueled by the fact that he wasn't affected by her antics.

He gave a fake look of confusion. "I know as much as anyone in this place."

Her expression shows she'd seen through the blatant lie. "Tell me, this place has only us. I made sure of it." Her glare was practically sinister.

Zuko waved it off as he crossed his right leg above the other and weaved his fingers together. "Doesn't etiquette state that the party which initiated an information exchange lay down their cards first?"

She snarled before approaching him with both hands firmly on her hips demanding, "When was little Zuzu an expert on such matters?"

She was obviously trying to get under his skin. Trying to anger him so he'll make a blunder. Azula was one to be admired. No wonder she was so successful thriving in a toxic environment. This snake pit made her shine.

"What?" her gaze sliced through the air.

"Nothing," he puts on a knowing smile.

She sneered. "So this is what you're like without preying eyes around."

He shrugged, not wanting to give anything away. With Azula, there was no doubt she will use it to her advantage.

"Seems you do have Father's blood in you."

He narrowed his eyes. It pissed him off how she always knew where to press his buttons. There was obvious indication she knew she pressed the right place. Her observant eyes smirked. She stepped on a landmine and she still had the gall to gleefully grin. _He could play that game._

"And you have Mother's."

She aimed her fire at his neck. He used one of Aang's airbending techniques to evade. She fluidly change her position for a high kick. He dodged again. Next came a flaming roundhouse kick and again his footwork avoided her moves seamlessly. Training with the Avatar does have its perks. He was lucky his younger self has been engrossed in training or he might have been scarred a second time by his sister rather than his _father_.

Azula must have realized it wasn't coincidence with her third attempt for she demanded, "Where did you learn that?"

"In my sleep."

He did not mock her since it was true, but she looked vivid. She huffed as a strand of hair fell onto her face. Azula teared at her topknot undoing her hair. The ebony strands cascaded down and he couldn't help but stare. She noticed and smirked.

"Do you like it down, Brother?"

Zuko swallow and turn. It always became unpleasant when her hair is down.

"Come, help me retie it," she grabbed his hand.

He immediately pulled away. "Do it yourself."

There was a thick silence second before she spoke, "Suit yourself."

His sister walked towards the large mirror as she started twirling the red ribbon. It was obvious she was failing miserably. Perhaps she doesn't actually know how to do it. He then recalled her hair down, messy and light years away from perfection at her coronation. It was surreal to discovered something Azula wasn't good at. To know it was the smallest, mundane of task! He thought that was impossible once. But after their Agni Kai, he didn't know what to think...

"Are you going to stare or help?"

He released a sigh and reluctantly grabbed the comb. These feelings of guilt and regrets weren't helping his cause. Still, he was given the task so he'll damn well meet the expectation of his perfectionist of a sister.

Zuko slowly and cautiously brushed her hair trying to untangle the strands of her silky locks. His first couple of strokes were slow and unsure, but they gradually became steady after he noticed Azula relaxing. All the tension they both had oddly vanished. He was beyond disbelief she would allow this. It was the first time he had done such a thing in all his years with Azula. Although amazement overridden most of his suspicions, he's not foolish enough to not banish that small sliver of doubt. Azula never lets anyone near, unless there is a purpose behind it.

"No one expects anything from a failure, so don't be foolish and get yourself killed."

Zuko froze in his brushing strokes. She caught him off guard. Did he actually hear slight concern in that condescending tone? Does she care? No, he won't be fooled. Azula is a _master_ at these games.

Mechanically he reply, "I won't."

"Liar."

Zuko doesn't comment as he focused on bringing every strand of her hair up. With satisfaction he then tied the topknot into place. Azula inspect the topknot in the mirror checking it from all sides.

"I'm impressed. You must've experience with other girls Zuzu."

He wanted to rebuke the comment, but it was true. He helped Mai with her hair numerous times to the point he could do it with his eyes close. He even studied other trendy hairstyles to pleased his wife. He unknowingly expressed a sad smile as he reminisced the happier times of his marriage before everything went wrong.

"Poor Zuzu, was it unrequited?"

Azula must have misunderstood. But he can't really explain it could he? His very mindset here was beyond comprehension.

"Mai would be so sad you have someone Brother. Or would she be happy since it's unrequited?"

Zuko laughed. Mai would be jealous of herself then!

"So tell me, who's the lucky girl?"

He's willing to humor her. "It comes with a price Azula."

She rolled her eyes, "Everything comes with a price, Zuko."

His sister doesn't know how true she was. After all, he staked his past and future in exchange for a second chance. And now he has a monster fighting to take over his body.

"Then what will you give me in return?"

She smirk devilishly. "Maybe a... _kiss?"_

His mind blank. His body froze. The good mood he had gone. Zuko slowly stepped away from her. Hands clenched in sweat. His throat was unbearably dry as he let out a humorless laugh.

"W-what are you talk about?" Sweat lined his forehead.

She raised an elegant eyebrow and in mock sadness ushered, "Don't tell me you'd forgotten? How cruel, even for you."

"Azula, erase it from your mind. Forgot it even happened." It was only due to built up stress, sleeplessness and insanity mixed sweetly with being unable to cope with his mother's abandonment that it occurred. A moment of weakness which Origin manipulated to gain control of his body. _It meant nothing._

"How could I?!" She dramatically raised her voice while her expression grin in delight watching him squirm. "You were so passionate! And it was _my_ first kiss after all, _Brother."_

His fist were knuckled-white as his lips tilted into a deep frown.

"It's not what you think Azula."

"Then what do _I_ think?" She pressed her index finger on her pout lips as she glance his way.

"It was so Mother wouldn't abandon us," his voice was resolute as he reasoned. He held his eye contact and kept his ground to dissolve any doubts of lies.

"And how did that turn out?" She bit back.

He grit his teeth and straighten himself to try and tower over her.

" _It. Went. Fine."_

She answered him with a blank stare. It said it all. He visibly shrunk at the pressure. He expected mockery from her. It never came. Instead, Azula approached him, encircling him as her hands trailed his left shoulder, then his back and stopped at his chest before she leaned up, inches away from his lips as she whispered out, "And here I thought _you wanted me."_

He instantly pushed her away, heart beating rapidly in uncontrollable breaths. He could still feel her heat on him, his lips still dancing to her tune.

"Azula, enough."

"Mother is gone. Father isn't here and no one is watching. It's your move, Zuzu."

He calmed himself. She was clearly underestimating him. An eight-year-old trying to play the games of adults. Fine, what Azula wants she'll get. It's his turn to have a little payback.

"Zula, I recalled you were quite... _frantic_ during the kiss. I'm scared _you_ might not be able to handle _more_..." He slowly approach her, a sensual grin on his lips as he close in to her ear, "I don't think I can stop at _just kissing."_ He was glad his voice came out smooth and dauntless.

Zuko then brought one hand to her cheek and trailed it down to her neck giving it a light caress while he had the other grip her waist to pull her closer. Their bodies pressed against each other so tightly that he could feel her every curve — felt her tense in his grasp. He smirk seeing the uneasiness in her eyes as her body slightly trembled. For all her daring acts, Azula was still a child, inexperienced unlike him.

"You're _adorable_ you know that?" That jab should be enough of his teasing. Since he was an adult, he shouldn't allow a child to get under his skin.

Unexpectedly, her eyes narrowed to the challenge and she suddenly pulled him, his eyes widened as he felt her hesitation when their lips touched, but she quickly morphed it into a deep kiss. Their lips pressed and teeth clashed. Zuko is still wide eyes, speechless. In that instant he recalled a saying along the lines of 'never provoke a sleeping beast.' The saying is true.

Her hands were in his hair and her tongue was pushing for entrance. This was no kiss from an eight-year-old. She bit his lips making him involuntary gasp, allowing her tongue to slither in.

He tried to refuse her with his tongue and pushed with his hands, but that only encouraged her as Azula's iron grip on his hair had them tumbled to the ground. Even in that instant as their bodies impacted the marble tiles her momentum didn't faze as she dug deeper inside his mouth for dominate.

Competition replaced the shock and Zuko was determined to beat her at her own game. He rolled them over so she was positioned under him while he pulled her waist into his — dare he say — _hardened_ member. He instinctively rubbed against her making her produce a moan as he tangoed with her tongue battling for control.

She growled, biting his bottom lip harder, making him flinch. Using that to her advantage she forcefully push him onto his back. The momentum made their lips separated with only a trail of saliva linking them before she quickly pulled away ending with her on top and him pinned down. It pissed him off how her hair was perfectly in place while she licked her lips with a pleasing smirk.

"So tell me, _Brother,_ who's the adorable one now?"

He grunted. "That was disgusting" as he got up and pushed her aside.

"I was just returning the favour," she responded.

He glared with smoke seeping out of his fists.

"I'll be the mature one and show my cards first," he growled out through gritted teeth.

Azula snickered, "Of course you will. After all you're the desperate one here."

He rolled his eyes as he headed to the mirror to gain his bearings, disguising it as fixing his hair and clothes. However, his eyes still locked onto Azula through the mirror, cautious of her actions.

"Times running out Zuzu."

He wanted to rebuke, but it was true they were limited on time and he wasn't sure he could take another one of her attacks. _He never should have allowed it._

"Mother is in a cottage outside of the eastern suburbs of Fire Fountain City."

In the mirror he could see Azula looking quite displeased. "Do I look stupid to you?" She asked in an irritated tone.

He raised an eyebrow and she snapped, "The others in courts are starting to narrow down on her location. And you and I both know you've been relocating her, otherwise my spies would have found her by now! Let's not forget this gives you leverage of being able to reuse this intel on me again!"

"Then what do you suggest?" He voiced in annoyance as he redid his phoneix tail, no thanks to her.

She smiled sweetly as she approach from behind and proclaimed, "Every letter you received from that parasitic maid taking care of our dear Mother."

Zuko golden eyes narrowed.

"And in exchange?" He turned to her. Her face intimately close to the point he could feel her heat on his skin. The places she touched became scalding hot. He hated it; she was too close for comfort.

His sister then took out a scroll from her left sleeve and dangled it in front of him.

"This little scroll here…" she drawled, "Describe the status of the war."

She curled her arms around him with the scroll in one hand. Her chin on his right shoulder and lips very closely to his ear says deliciously, "Not only that, but it holds the lines of _allegiance."_

She was good. He was tempted.

She leaned in and softly murmured, "You know~ the typical, which General is in favour to which Admiral and vice versa, whom is in whose pockets, who contain large ambitions and who just wish for an easy life." She then trace it playfully across both his cheeks.

Zuko stared at the scroll in the towering mirror and lick his bottom lip. Just having it would allow his plans to proceed much faster and far smoothly.

"Alright." He eagerly reached out for the scroll.

"Good." But she quickly release her hold with the scroll slipping from his grasp.

"Only after you meet your end of the bargain, Zuzu. Oh and don't test me or you'll never see this scroll or know which info will be trustworthy again. "

The gears in his mind turns. Azula never made an unfavorable deal for herself. _Never._ "Why are you willing to trade so much for so little?"

She looks at him like it was apparent.

Like lightning Azula strike, "She's the key and _your weakness Zuko."_

He clenched his fists. Even though he knew, he had unconsciously underestimate Azula due to her young age. Even when he possessed foresight, Azula still seems light years ahead.

His sister turned to leave but before she opened the door, Azula glanced back and remarked, "Oh, I recommend wearing a mask for the funeral. Spirits knows what kind of rumours will spread with a face full of scratches and lips like that. An advice from your loving sister if you want to retain your regal image within the nation, _Brother."_ She exits with a satisfied smirk.

Zuko watched in frustration, clutching his heart. He had forgotten. No, she made him forget that they were in a game, and she, the ringleader leading him along. But he couldn't deny that between their nostalgic interactions — _he wanted to forget._ That she was(n't) the sister he'd lost; (not) the Azula driven mad by the world. (Not) The person he knew as being unable to attain happiness... or cope with failures.

But he remembered now. This Azula was a fragment of hope, in a nation not yet destroyed.

* * *

He sees a scene that has long been burnt into his mind. Darkened skies and unseen eyes. Endless rows of red spider lilies bleeding on pale flesh. A looming oppression in the deafening silence as fire braziers lined the parameter of the funeral beside banners held by Royal Guards.

His Grandfather lay in a velvet coffin, dressed in regal scarlet silk. Nowhere was he covered in dried blood, blistering wounds, and forced into filthy black. Nowhere was he pushed and tied to a wooden pole to be put on display like an animal before slaughter. Instead, the frail old man was enclosed in blooming white lilies, admired and worshiped as a great king. His Grandfather is now immortal. His legacy lives.

There was a dark, consuming pit growling in his chest. The left side of his shoulder and upper arm throbbed. It was a warning. He needed to suppress the darkness or Origin will gain control. The prince forced his emotions to calm.

Zuko became detached recalling his funeral; the day he was born and the day he died. No lavish exhibit or fancy attires of gold embroidery, silk and linen threads. There wasn't a massive crowd gathered in silent prayers. There was no Fire Sage honoring any of his achievements, no glory, no acknowledgment. The nation wasn't as mournful before he is burned to death. There was no ceremony to bless his soul for a successful passage. Nothing but roaring cheers in scorching heat. After all, it was tradition in this country to let flames melt and forge old things into new things. The same concept applied to souls; the dead are devoured by fire so they could be reborn anew.

In the Fire Nation, it was a sin to not cremate the dead. And Zuko swallowed harshly to push the memories down. The corpse of the woman in the patch of burnt roses made his mind venture to his kind, loving Mother. It was inevitable since he had believed it was his mother corpse that had met with a cruel fate.

Now Zuko doesn't desire to comprehend why the unknown body had the Fire Lady's crown in her hair, why her face was badly blemished as the body remains there begging to be discovered. Mother is not at fault. She can't have known. For she couldn't have purposely left the body uncremated so people would stop their search for her. Mother is many things but never —

Azulon coffin blazed. He could feel the heat spreading, devouring and calamity befalling the nation as Ozai kneeled in front of the people awaiting the High Sage to crown him as the new Fire Lord.

It was tortuous for him to have to witness this scene again. The first time he was flooded with fear, the feelings swelled since then, making the second time filled with the uncontrollable crave for murder.

He did entertain the thought since this was the opportunity when Ozai was the most vulnerable. Even powerful men has moments where they unknowingly lets down their guards fixate on their glory. It's ironic, the difference was unparalleled from the last time Zuko had seen his father. The man had been chained inside the Capital City Prison stripped of his bending. Dirty, filthy, _pitiful_. Now he is once again the most powerful man the world will fear.

Zuko's expression of distaste was concealed by a mask which matched his stainless attire. He had reluctantly taken his sister's advice after having heard the gossips of the maids. Donning a faceless white mask rimmed with golden embroidery that spread elegant patterns on the side enclosing his left eye. He had immediately picked the mask for its design, which resembled his scar. A scar that no longer existed.

It was oddly disturbing every time he saw his reflection. The mark of the Banished Prince, the mark that made him, _him_ vanished and Zuko was overcome with emptiness. He had traced the area where the scar should have been, but all he felt was _untouched_ skin and a functional left eye — unblemished, honourable, _normal_ — the face he yearned to have. The path he wanted to travel; the life he desired — he now had.

Zuko was no longer marred, no longer held prisoner to his past... and his lips quirked into a hysterical grin. People would consider him heartless if they saw him brimming with happiness at his grandfather's funeral. No, his joy couldn't be compared to Ozai as the High Sage placed the crown in his hair. Zuko once again witnessed the man almighty as fire blazed when he stood in absolute power.

The entire nation, rows upon rows kneeled before the man. He saw his sister bending down to one knee and Zuko forced himself to do the same.

The sight was all consuming as thousands of people below bowed with their palm to fist harmoniously chanting, "All hail Fire Lord Ozai! Glory to the Fire Nation!" Drums pounded in a deafening beat as Royal Guards saluted while raising the nation's symbol high in the air. The entire Capital was engulfed in patriotic madness.

And Zuko watched silently under the mask. His eyes cold and heart empty. For he sees a nation with no future.

* * *

There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who are born for greatness and those who are used by them. Zhao scanned the grandiose party held to celebrate the coronation of the New Fire Lord. An event for all the powerful people in Fire Nation society to display wealth, politics and strive to gain the ruler's favour. He sees high ranking officials, nobles and businessmen spinning their webs, swarming like insects, stepping over each others trying to climb the hierarchy in order to satiate their greed. Similar to a gathering of maggots laying their eggs and baiting the less fortunate. The hunger for power, for wealth, for success all intersects before him. Zhao smirked. It was the perfect hunting ground.

Categorizing each individual's worth is an asset when looking for potential allies. It's what wise men do to become great. He of course, being above these people has the advantage. He rose through the ranks fairly quickly, not only that, but he acquired knowledge no one has. And with only a rank of Captain, he gained entrance to such a party with wits and persuasion. Only established men of his caliber could conjure a network so great to be invited to such an event. He has garnished quite a name for himself. After all, it was extremely rare for a man of his station to be here.

"Admiral Jian and General Hua, I sincerely thank you for the invitation."

"Ah… Captain Zhao, you've made it." Admiral Jian commented while General Hua nodded in greetings.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Zhao then inquired, "so what do you gentlemen think of this situation?"

"All hail our new monarch of course." Admiral Jian answered sardonically with a knowing smirk. Zhao knew the man wasn't one for loyalty, or blind patriarchy making him the perfect company for politics.

"Although Iroh's fraction doesn't seemed to be too pleased. But they're keeping their peace for now." General Hua inputted. The man was rigid, but another to keep close. After all, this man could be a potential obstacle in his path later on. It's best to keep his friends close, but his (potential) enemies closer. Since Hua tended to be a man of strict faith to Fire Nation supremacy, it worked to Zhao's favour for now. Otherwise the man was completely loyal to the empire, unlike himself.

"Or so it seemed." Zhao looked to Admiral Jian as the man gestured to a group of men across the room. He instantly recognized the supporters of the deceased Azulon. Those who valued the natural ascension in a monarchy that only permitted first-born to take the throne, making them now supporters of Iroh.

"But one has to admit, with Ozai in power, it's more convenient for us."

Hua seemed to disagree, but Jian held his smile.

"We'll have to see."

"What makes you say that?" Hua questioned Zhao immediately after the Admiral finished.

"Well, rumours has it that General Iroh is losing his touch. The man would rather travel the world sipping tea and playing Paisho than blaze the walls of Ba Sing Se to reclaim his honour from the disgrace of the 600 days siege." He ended as he took a cup of Fire wine from a passing servant.

"Your intel is rather outdated, Captain." Jian injected as he pleasantly sipped his own wine.

Zhao lift a brow to encourage the man on. Hua beside him urge with a firm, "continue."

"This is a fact my spies reported." The Admiral paused then, "General Iroh has gone to the spirit world in search of his dead son."

"Preposterous!" Hua proclaimed and Zhao couldn't agreed more.

"Do you really believe such a thing Admiral?" He asked instead, not wanting to give his position away like Hua and wanting to dig into something that could be of benefit. Zhao knew Jian's network wasn't one to doubt. The man had sunk his teeth into the core of the courts making his info gems in the dark.

"I take all my intel with a grain of salt. Thus, believe what you will."

It seemed he couldn't get more out of the man, but from his tone, it must be true. Although, it was quite impossible since such a place was only myths and legends created by religious believers of the Avatar. And even if such a dimension existed, only the dead could enter, making it absurd for a living soul to gain access.

Still, he does know spirits existed in the mortal world. For he had encountered one himself, when he served as a Lieutenant under General Shoo in the Earth Kingdom. The underground library gave him ways to become Zhao the Great, the _Invincible_! By tearing through numerous scrolls, he discovered knowledge no one had. Which is why he was certain he will achieve what no one would. Yet, he never came across a method to cross between worlds, not unless he was the Avatar. Zhao noted he needed to conduct further research. If Jian claimed what Iroh did was possible, Zhao believed he founded a way to become a legend even greater than Zhao the Moonslayer! He'll make history! No, his own immortal Kingdom!

"What do you make of the prin—pardon me, it should be Fire Lady's disappearance?" That sentence hounded him back to reality. It seemed in his musing he almost missed the critical point of the conversation. The underlying message, 'did you think she committed the crime?'

"Her case is certainly unusual." All three heads turned to the source of the voice.

"Advisor Kyou, what a pleasant surprise." Jian acknowledged the young man's presence with an edge to his smile. Like Jian, Zhao did not welcome the advisor's sudden entrance for it was obvious the man had eavesdropped.

This person has the rank, but does not have the respect for his station. The boy is higher in the hierarchy than him, however, Zhao was not fazed for he has the better relation with the people in power. After all, military men and nobility alike despised the kid. Most accused him to have slept his way up the ranks. Which of course was only an excuse, as everyone in courts sleeps around like animals in heat. The real reason the kid was ostracized was due to deep rooted jealousy. The kid had managed to receive Azulon's favour even with his low birth. Thus, Advisor Kyou was known for being a prostitute of the court who became the youngest advisor in the history of the Fire Nation.

What caught his attention was that even with his network, Zhao could not discover the connection between Kyou to the late Fire Lord. Of course this was what made Jian loath the kid. For even his network which the Admiral took pride in, couldn't find any traces of the kid's background. It only showed how much Azulon favoured the boy. Therefore, it was still unclear if 'Kyou' was his actual name or if he even was of low birth, but many despised, which made them believe, thus making it true.

"An advisor of the Fire Lord shouldn't partake in lowly activities such as eavesdropping." Hua made it clear his dislike for the man.

"I only overheard since you _Gentleman_ were speaking in such _loud_ voices." Kyou easily directed back.

Zhao tries to steered the conversation back with, "it's certainly coincidence the Fire Lady disappeared on the morning of Fire Lord Azulon's untimely death."

"It's not, when she has a hand in it."

" _Watch your mouth."_ Hua gritted out.

"Don't tell me, General Hua, who is said to be stoic and strict was secretly an admirer of Princess Ursa?" Kyou mocked. "Too bad, if she hadn't disappeared you might've been one of her _tryst_."

Hua sneered, "you should worry about yourself, _child._ Your luck expired with your hoax of a title being buried with your Fire Lord. You should be wary of sleep."

Kyou glared and Hua stood towering over the boy.

Jian interceed, "Captain Zhao what of your opinion?" The man appeared calm but his tone gave away his irritation.

"I think it's treason to assume anything conspiratory to the sudden coronation of the second son. I have no opinion other than faithfully serving the new Fire Lord."

"A wise answer. You'll make it far." Jian accredited.

"Though many here believed Princess Ursa was the culprit to Azulon's death and Prince Ozai being an accomplice. After all, it's a prime opportunity after the people's backlash of Iroh's recent failure at Ba Sing Se. He does benefit most out of all this."

"Watch your words Jian. Even for you, it's unwise to speak of such subversion." Hua said with a glare at Kyou. "Who knows what loose lips will reach Fire Lord Ozai's ears."

Kyou showed teeth as he smiled, "my mouth only goes against those faithless to the Empire. Do not worry about me, General Hua, Admiral Jian. Then if you excuse me, I have other important matters to attend to."

Zhao watch the boy exit to the other clamber of the party. Although the two beside him disagreed, that kid might be a possible ally to his cause… He might have to consider inviting the boy to dinner. After all, the more connections the better, especially in that boy's interest; with his current circumstances it was obvious the kid was trying to gather allies.

Suddenly Zhao tensed as fear crawled up his spine and inserted itself to his very marrows. He stared at the two men in front. Surprised they couldn't sense what he felt. Maybe they had lost their sense of danger in the comfort of their own home, surrounded by thousands of guards to protect their worthless lives — _but not him._

Years of battle hardened him to sense the slightest hint of animosity. Zhao turned to the source. It was brief, but the amount of enmity he felt surpassed all the deadliest battles he encountered. Even ones he fought to forget. Zhao's eyes fractionally widened as he met with molten gold. The source was a boy, clothed all in red. But what stood out was the scarlet mask with engraved golden wings on the left eye. The child stare at him unfazed as if he was looking at prey. Then the youth's eyes stray back to Advisor Kyou, and it remained there.

"Who is that?" Zhao asked and the two men in front gaze to the direction of the masked boy standing alone in the corner of the room.

"Our newest Crown Prince."

"What?!" Zhao said in amazement. That...how could that be? Zuko, Prince Ozai eldest child was said to be talentless and hot tempered to the point that rumours has it that his father was too ashamed to send him to school unlike his prodigy of a sister. However, the boy wearing the crimson mask was nothing like the weak, naive brat gossips made it out to be. It was rather the complete opposite. The boy emitted a maturity and sophistication beyond his years.

The second their eyes met, Zhao could see intelligence and something beyond comprehension. That boy wasn't normal. Perhaps a body double of the rumoured spoiled Prince? It was plausible considering the mask and circumstances.

Hua mistook his shock and said, "the boy is Crown Prince in title only. Everyone in court recognized that his sister holds the power. She is second borne, but is talented enough to hold her father's favour. It's likely she'll succeed. Or so I heard."

Zhao turned and saw the large crowd Hua had pointed to in the center of the other room. Indeed, he saw advisors, merchants and military officials flocking around something almost hazardously. He had noticed the group of people before and dismissed it for an attraction. Now he realized it was something _better_ than any attractions. So not only were they aiming for the Fire Lord, they were hoping to take it all. Stupid fools. They can't even tell an opportunity when they see one.

"Ah, but I do advise you Captain, Princess Azula is not one you should mess with. Her reputation and title of Prodigy is famous for a reason." Jian announced nonchalantly as he place his empty wine glass on the small circular table and called a servant over to take another from the tray.

Hua grunted before saying, "so much so that rumour has it she wants to join the military. I say she is over her head."

"She is a child. Let her dream."

Zhao stared at the two men and questioned how these two remained friends when their viewpoints were so different. One would even think something bigger is at play.

"You're too open-minded Jian. Dreams will stay dreams. She'll be wed before that happens. "

"And you're too narrowed-minded. She's promising." Jian's eyes gleamed.

Zhao held his sigh and forced himself to say, "Gentlemen, thank you for your time. I must excuse myself now. Enjoy the rest of the evening." He quickly made his exit with a polite bow. After all, respect is key if he wanted to retain good relations, especially with Jian who holds the navy at his command and Hua who the Royal Guards held in high regards. They are essential to his raise in power.

Yet even the perceptive Jian didn't notice that it was not the princess he had in mind, but the boy in the mask. Zhao always followed his gut instincts. Something told him that boy was the key to something great. This was what separated him from other acclaimed men, he didn't want to stop at just greatness, no… that wouldn't nearly satisfy him. He'll be above those great men. Zhao aims to be legendary! The best history has known.

There are two kinds of people in the world. Zhao, however, considered himself on a category of his own. When he closes in on the boy he sees a maid carrying a black vase with a flower bouquet of colourful assortments. He didn't think anything of it since it was expected for the Royal Family to receive gifts in huge amounts during celebrations.

But what caught his attention was when he overheard the mask boy uttering, "Rhododendrons and Azaleas...interesting." Then commanded, "put them in my room."

The servant girl did as told and Zhao took advantage of it to gain the boy's attention. "Prince Zuko, you seem very knowledgeable about flowers." Immediately he associated the boy as weak.

Yet he was pleasantly surprised when the boy acknowledged his presence, "Captain Zhao, it is an honour to meet you. And no, I am quite lacking. I only learned little from my mother."

It was unexpected that the boy knew his name. Perhaps his reputation precedes him? Zhao joyfully reply, "No, it is my honour to be in your presence Crown Prince. I apologized to have not greeted you sooner. After congratulating your esteemed Father, I could not recognize you under the mask."

The boy stare at him for a long second before saying, "it is understandable. Your apology is accepted."

Zhao eased to his usual smile and answered, "I'm grateful." From the flow of conversation this brat will be quite easy to manipulate.

Silence spoke before the mask boy said, "Captain, between my father and I, who do you think will achieve more for the Fire Nation?"

He was slightly taken aback at the sudden question. Although the young boy was wearing a mask, Zhao can imagine he held a perfect smile underneath. It was obvious, for the brat's eyes were smirking. The very fact that the boy remained calm after instigating betrayal serves to show how frightening he had underestimated this kid. The brat was clearly testing him. If he read it right, the masked youth was saying just whom did Zhao hold allegiance to. Him or his father. Clever boy!

"It is not within my position to say. But…" Zhao took a bow and smile at the young prince. The action said plenty with the boy's approving nod.

"Captain," the kid started, paused then said, "Advisor Kyou, do you know anything about him?"

This has taken another intriguing turn. Zhao raised a brow before answering, "not much. But it is said that the Fire Lord was most pleased with his gift out of all this evening."

The boy snickered before uttering, "why am I not surprised..."

This has gotten his curiosity, but he was stopped from questioning it when the young prince inquired, "what did you give my father?"

He answered easily, "an ancient firebending scroll I discovered in my time at the Earth Kingdom." Zhao could tell the boy's attention was back on that young advisor. He shall _need_ to invite that Kyou brat over. It will help clear the mysterious animosity the masked boy has for the young advisor.

But for now, Zhao needed to regain the kid's attention. He wasn't done extracting information yet. "May I ask about his highness' gift to our new Fire Lord?"

The boy chuckled and happily stated, "Fire lilies. I would give him millions if I could." The scarlet mask turned to face him, golden eyes gleaming. "I would love for my father to receive them all. Every ounce of it."

Zhao was quite confused. He couldn't get a grasp on the boy or the emotions he emits. The mask did not help his case and he couldn't comprehend the relationship between the Crown Prince and the Fire Lord. Zhao had guessed the kid must have struggled all his life to try and gain his father's approval, while trying to break free of his sister's shadow. No matter how mature the child seemed, the person in front was still a child seeking paternal affection. Zhao was slightly relieved.

This made things easier as he smoothly took advantage of the mood he created from idly conversation to say, "My prince, if you will excuse my rudeness, but…"

"Speak freely." As he planned.

"Then… Why is His Highness wearing a mask? Given your current position, it should be mandatory of you to show your face to the public."

Again Zhao could not make out or even read the expression of the boy. It was maddening for he couldn't take advantage of the person's weakness, motive or have a sense of their personality!

"You're quite straightforward Captain."

Zhao gritted his teeth. "I apologize if I offended your highness." In this short conversation, he'd apologized too much for his liking and Zhao wasn't sure if he can withstand such formalities any longer, much less having to enact with a child less than half his age. Not to mention said child was now carefree enough to disregard formalities to be speaking disrespectfully to him. Anger boiled in his stomach. It took all his efforts not to burst.

"I'm sure unpleasant rumours will spread like wildfire by tomorrow. However, I'll allow an exception. You Captain, being the only one brave enough to ask, will know the truth."

His restraints had paid off. Zhao almost wanted to bend down to the boy's height in order to hear the answer. He'll make use of anything he can get his hands on. Spirit world or mortal realm, he shall make use of them all!

"My face was burned from a recent training incident, making it unpresentable for the event."

From the boy's voice, it doesn't seemed to be a lie. Zhao placed the info aside for later dissection. Still, he couldn't help as his lips inclined. Right away he realized the info was of notable worth. After all, if the burn scarred and the Crown Prince continues wearing a mask… could only mean the boy can easily be replaced! He could be assassinated for all Zhao cared and no one would know… With the title of Crown Prince the boy can be the perfect puppet!

"I see… that's unfortunate. I sincerely hope the injury heals." Zhao prayed harder for the burn to blemished, disfigured and scar for the rest of the kid's life so he would be too ashamed to ever take the mask off.

He waited, expecting the child to affirm his words, but the boy only stared at him. His golden eyes seemed to glow uncanny as if he could see the deepest parts hidden securely under Zhao's facade. Eerily as if the boy could read him like a book. It was uncomfortable making him unable to withstand the pressure. Zhao unconsciously looked away. There was something wrong here. He can't put a finger on it, but oddly he felt out played. Defeated. It fumed his anger, yet his instincts set an abnormal warning in his stomach.

"Brother."

Zhao felt thankful for the sudden interruption. Why, he didn't know.

"If you will excuse me, my sister needs me. _See you around, Captain._ "

The boy left with that famous prodigy sister of his. Her eyes only glanced at him once, yet they seemed all knowing. Zhao hadn't realized sweat has lined his brows until someone pointed it out. He tried to mingles with other potential benefactors. Yet it still remained, that dread.

Zhao didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. Those two siblings... _they might be_ _another kind entirely._

* * *

"You seem rather disappointed. Did I interrupted something?"

"Nothing note worthy. Come." He navigated them to the garden. It's a fine place for secret transactions; few spies could truly hide in the wide open spaces of the palace grounds and the moonlight helps cast shadows. Zuko made sure to stand a distance apart from her.

"Oh really? It seems to me you were making a new friend." She said it nonchalantly, but he could tell his sister was slightly on edge.

"Friend, huh?" She was likely keeping tabs. Well, even if the party was a great chance to acquire accomplices — it would be stupidity on his part. There were too many risks in even trying. Azula made it apparent she was monitoring him, making it quite dangerous. Especially at this stage where he doesn't want Ozai to be suspicious too. Zuko will have to give up the opportunity and instead, focus on his priority of getting the scroll from her. "Stop joking. He's nobody."

"Hmm, it doesn't seem so to me." She said it while gazing up into the night sky. The light from the crescent moon give her an unearthly glow. Zuko narrowed his eyes under the mask. It seems she noticed. Power and arrogance drove that man, making his type easy to read and predictable to use.

Suzaku thankfully came at the right time as the bird swooped down to his side. Zuko held out his left wrist signalling his friend to land. Azula tried to approach but Suzaku screeched at her with wide open wings.

"My, don't tell me that thing still remembered."

"Why wouldn't he? You were about to kill him." Zuko replied casually as he scanned the letter from Suzaku's ankle. He scowled as he tossed the letter to Azula. She caught it with ease before reading it.

His sister crumbled the small parchment before burning it. She then took the scroll out from her sleeve and tossed it to him. Zuko scanned through it and with satisfaction told Suzaku to bring it to his room. His friend complied with a last threat to his sister before disappearing into the night sky. Azula was oddly silent. Usually, she would bite back.

"You're not surprised." He finally said referring to the letter.

"You must want to know don't you?" She decisively stated as she stepped into the patch of blacken soil and burnt roses. A small smile on her lips. "Quite the statement you're making here Zuko. Bringing me to such a despicable place."

Millions of questions ran rampaged in his skull. He needed answers and his sister held them captive. But instead, he asked, "if you hated it so much, why order the gardener to leave it?"

The wind carried her voice. "It's the same reason you sent that vase of flowers to your room. Surely you know what it implies." Her smile flashed like lightning as she laughed. "But really now Zuzu… Is that what you _really_ wanted to ask me?"

Zuko narrowed his eyes as his sister twirled in the moonlight. The very thought of her overhearing his conversation with Zhao faded as her giggles rang in his ears. It was a sickening scene. She was dancing on top of a grave, basking in the light. Though he prayed to be wrong and continued to deny it venomously that there was no body underneath.

"What happened that night?" It was softly spoken, but Azula heard it all the same.

She remained still, but eventually turned to face him. There was a thick corrosive silence in the air. Her stare was uncannily directed at him. Her face serious with fractionally declined lips. The wind picked up and Zuko swore he smelled burnt decay rather than fragrances of flowers.

"...if you knew, you'll be more unfortunate than you already are, Zuzu." Her tone was neutral with an odd smile on her lips with matching empty gold eyes.

"I'm already am." The black coil on his shoulder and upper arm throbbed, yet he continued. "The day you were born Azula, my misfortune began… so I'm used to it." The pain spiked. Zuko held himself steady trying not to collapse from the sheer heat on his left shoulder.

She held her smile, altogether unaffected. "It was my mistake to have given you that mask." She bent down, reached for a red petal and placed it on her lips. Her index finger was the only thing holding it in place.

He couldn't say anything when he is overridden with pain. His vision blurred and his mind was a mess. Darkness swelled and he was afraid his dam will burst. The monster was eager to jump out. He struggled to contain it within.

"Mother is a liar, Uncle is a hypocrite and you Brother… is the worst by far." She declared, releasing the crimson petal to the wind. He felt it cut into his neck and memories of Mai leaving him resurfaced.

She then walked past him, but before she did, Azula proclaimed, "your answer lies beneath the blacken rosebed. But once you know, you _will_ regret it." She bumped his shoulder and left him abandoned in fields of flowers and ash roses.

' _I won't'_ he wanted to say, but no sound would come out… instead he swallowed his words for he would be lying if he did.

* * *

 _They were born into a nation of fire, but the flame of the nation, its Imperial Capital, was cold. They grew up in a scarlet palace, grandiose and dreamlike, attired in crimson silk robes, given anything and everything because of the royal blood in their veins — an illusion, fragile with lies._

 _Never, were they in control so much as he was taught to believe and she had been so certain to be blind. Red threads of fates forces them to hate, to seek and to gain through whatever means. The realization came, when everything he had believed in started crumbling down. He was chained to his past and Azula was dyed by it. Until one of them breaks, the cycle would continue. Control was an illusion, but it's possible people need illusions to remain sane._

 _Still, what defines control was probably maintaining consistency. The color that dominated since childhood was the catalyst to insanity. No wonder it had gotten to such a demented point._

"Kill me." _It was whispered like sweet nectar. To lesser men, they would have been compelled._

 _The Fire Lord gazed down at her and all he felt was pity. Vanished was the hatred so deep and dark, the anger so raw and red, the feeling which had felt so consuming for so long that if it was the him from the past, he would have met her demand. His self-proclaimed 'perfect' sister was no longer the prideful, radiant prodigy she once was. And oddly he found it saddening, perhaps disappointing to see her in such a destitute state. Her fire was gone, vanquished with her will to live. It was likely she would die in this cage._

" _Azula, this isn't a death sentence." He congratulated himself for keeping his voice even. But monotonous might have been better to convey how numb he felt._

 _She managed to glare at him with the little energy she still possessed. It was a declaration of her last struggle; her progress of self-harm through starvation is so very unlike Azula. The Azula he knew wasn't this. Wasn't so weak, so desperately helpless that she would ask him for any kind of assistance. But he would never believe, not without seeing it for himself._

" _No, it's worse. This is an eternal incarceration." Her voice was lifeless. A voice unfamiliar, unrecognizable to him that it sent chills down his spine._

 _This is to help you, but he figured she would only roll her eyes and retain her silence if he uttered anything that she finds offensive. One thing he learned throughout the years of being his sister's keeper, was that Azula hated to be lied to. Any offer of help or kindness would automatically be a lie. His sister was the stubborn, selfish, ungrateful sort of person he never wanted to associate with. Those types of people he avoids like the plague. If anyone told him years prior that he would torment himself to actually care for such a bundle of despicable, paranoia insanity, Zuko would think them mad with a death wish._

 _But here he stands, feeling tortured at his sister's state and wishing she didn't have such a lasting effect on him. She was venom to his soul. And he, poison in hers. Still poison can be a cure, he just needed more time._

 _Persistently he offers his help. Whenever he tried, she would ruin all his efforts. It was clear she doesn't seek his aid — doesn't want to have anything to do with him. How he wished to get through to her because when he does, he will do everything in his power to make her better again. She was family… She was still and forever be his blood._

 _Sadly, when she finally requested his assistance, all he could do was stare blankly at the clothes she wore; it was like she was bleeding on the cold steel. Even in here, a fortress of white, shades of bleakness being shrouded with haunting shadows, the color never seemed to fade._

 _Zuko couldn't erase what was her very essence. It had clung and remained. She might be failing to escape through her lapse of madness and he might truly be too weary to continue trying. He couldn't seem to hold his family together, so how could he expect to save a nation? Zuko was tired, so very tired. His family, his nation, even himself was stained with so much blood — the looming shades of dominated red is a haunting nightmare._

 _Even in these walls, the prominent color of his clothes and hers were oppressive. It was restricting and he didn't know what to do to mend the past between them. How he can make her understand…when he couldn't even grasp how things gotten so—_

" _We never could understand each other." He realized he had spoken his thoughts out loud. But the meaning behind them were clear:_ We might never will.

 _For the first time a spark of sanity registered in her amber eyes as she grace him with a rueful smile on her chapped lips. She seemed to have misunderstood his intention as her smile conveyed a permission for him to end their demented relationship._

" _End it, Zuzu." It was close to a plea as she would ever allowed. Even with her circumstances, Azula still demonstrated superiority over him._

 _Zuko stared down at her knowing exactly what she wanted. But in the end he turned away, fully aware that his decision has failed her. Knowing that he had denied her of the first and last thing she asked of him. And he was certain he would have done the same, every time._

 _The unspoken words of coward engulfed the air. Her eyes filled with undiluted hatred were like a thousand knives on his retreating back. But he continued his strides, calm and confident. He will no longer entertain her madness. He shall not be control._

 _But no matter how strongly he denies it, a passing thought_ did _considered her to be right. It's so ingrained in him that Azula was always right_ _—_ _NO! He's in control now so she must be in the wrong. His sister will accept his help whether she likes it or not. He won't allow her to die like she desired. He won't give into her. They were no longer children and she no longer held control over him. Starvation has an easy solution for the Fire Lord. Even if force consumption and sedation is required. She won't die anytime soon._

 _He won't let her win._

 _Today was his first visit since their Agni Kai._

It won't be his last.

.

.

.

 _Zuko had never put a word on their relationship. He believed there were none. But madness might be it. In this game made for two, they danced around each other in an endless loop within the same repetition. The consistency; the power to dominate and hold control over the other. Azula must've had enough. Yet he still expected to gain a different outcome. Zuko understood he was reaching for something that doesn't exist between them. Nonetheless, he hoped. It is his control over her._

 _Perhaps... Azula was the sane one, and he, the —_

* * *

Zuko stared determinedly at the blackened flowerbed that lay at the heart of the garden. He was prepared for what's to come. With it, the court's manhunt for his mother would be put to rest.

That should have been his mindset, but misfortune haunted him like a vengeful spirit. Instead, he stood rigidly on the balcony overseeing the serene garden as people gathered like ants below. He felt dizzy. The harsh sunlight dug into his skin, burning him instead of giving the pleasant feeling of protection. He had procrastinated. It may have been better if he had continue procrastinating.

Zuko had planned to dig up the corpse before Azula had even suggested it. He just needed time to calmed himself, to reassured himself it was necessary in order to stop the people at court from narrowing down on his mother's location. So in no way was he doing it on her command. After all, it was hard enough hiding a person, it was even harder to keep on relocating a comatose woman.

To begin with, Zuko had felt frustration swell inside after he read the letter which described no signs of his mother's condition improving. It was unknown to him how she ended up older than he remembered. All of it was glaring down on him, the missing memories when Origin had taken over his body must be the key to those answers he seek. The blank spaces of how he got to that tunnel, how his mother ended up in such a state and questions concerning the culprit who buried and disguised the body. He needed to know to eliminate the threat. After all they would know the body to be fake and continue the search for their own agenda. Azula knew these answers, she must! But his sister wasn't willingly giving it up. However, that thought is subliminal now. He has way bigger problems at hand.

Zuko stood fists sweaty while staring down at the garden. An excavation was putting it lightly. _One. Two. Three… four… five._ The numbers seemed to stack endlessly. They were the body counts. Unburnt, unblackened, but recognizably _aged_ as if all the life were sucked out from them. But worse of all were the missing eyes from the corpses, some missing ears and others had ripped out throats. He felt sick. This wasn't right. There _should be_ only _one_ body underneath. It was different. _Why...?_ He hasn't done anything drastic... _yet._ His mind was swirling again. Bile was on the tip of his tongue. He knows, yet he doesn't want to understand.

Then, "there is another over here!" One of the guards shouted. Zuko held his breath.

Noises rose in pitch. People gasped and guards rushed to inform the Fire Lord. He didn't know what to feel. Glad or terrified. Maybe he felt a mixture of both? But one thing he was certain was that he felt deep rooted relief. He hated himself for it, but thankfully she was there. The same scene that had clung like a festering tumor in his mind, now ironically reassured him his memories weren't false. The woman who wore Ursa's crown laid almost as if asleep, if not for the large burn that had disfigured her entire face.

"It's Fire Princess Ursa!" many screamed. Large crowds started to gather and Zuko turned from the scene. He needed to calm himself. Surely Ozai will call upon him soon.

"I warned you to not bite more than you could chew, Zuzu." Azula chided. "Like I predicated, you're consumed with regret."

He sees his sister lying comfortably on the maroon divan, her hands reaching for a cherry on the silver plate. Zuko's eyes narrowed.

" _You knew."_ He accused.

Azula rolled her eyes as she ate another cherry. "You'll have to be more specific."

He roared, "You knew everything!"

She sigh, shaking her head before saying, "You knew it too."

"W-what?" He uttered as he took a step back in shock.

Azula finally stood, approaching him in slow strides. "You blamed me, but you were the one who wanted answers." She was too close for his liking with her lips almost tickling his ears. "And I gave them to you. Sadly, you _still_ don't remember."

"Lies…" He weakly mumbles.

It was her turn to narrow her eyes. "If you say so Zuzu." She walks past him nonchalantly as she gazed down the balcony. "I wonder how many more bodies will come to light when they start digging the rest of the garden?"

"...what?" He said in astonishment.

Azula turns and look at him like he was retarded. "You don't think they'll just stop at the rosebed, do you? They will sabotage that perfect garden until perfection disintegrates. Nothing will be left, nothing will survive."

"I never wanted—"

"You never think things through do you?" His sister then leaned her head forward as if she was willing to let herself fall off the ledge. Zuko frowned and immediately yanked her back. Azula didn't pull away, instead let herself fall back. Her eyes aimed at the sky. Zuko followed her sight, unsure what she was seeing — it became clear when he heard the distant rapture of storm clouds. Azula doesn't look at him when she states, "who would have thought you were willing to destroy what she cherished most based on my words." He felt stabbed.

He was confused, frustrated and furious all at once. It made his mind spin.

"You picked me over our mother!" Azula laughs merrily.

"Is all of this funny to you?" Zuko said angrily. He is too sick of this. Too tired of this place, these secrets and his sister.

"Of course it is!" She answers delightfully raising both hands to the sky. "The beautiful garden will finally reflect its owner!" He sees grey clouds overhead and knew that rain would follow. It reflects his mood perfectly.

"How can you say that?!"

"You really don't know do you? What that woman was really like." She hissed hatefully.

He didn't have time to defend Ursa as Azula sat herself on the golden table stating, "that corpse is actually a _pregnant_ maid our dear Mother poisoned."

Zuko swallowed. He knew that, but having it stated in front of his face made it harder to accept. That the corpse wasn't...his mother was... Especially when a specific memory of him accidentally witnessing a lone maid entering Ozai's clambers, months prior when he had gotten lost and saw himself as a spirit. That night when he ran away and denied to have seen anything. Zuko can't help, but think if only he had called out to her… then...maybe...

"How do you know this?" He managed as the guilt suffocated his conscious.

His sister held her smile, "I heard it behind the kitchen doors after I knocked you unconscious."

Then that would mean —

"Don't worry I haven't told Father, _yet_."

It was clearly a threat. This was bad. If Azula were to tell Ozai he heard the plot behind Azulon's death, he'll have so much spies on him that he can't even bathe alone, much less have any freedom to himself. Zuko wouldn't be able to do anything remotely productive or it would be taken as treasonous at worst. Better yet, he'll find himself in an _accident_.

"What do you want (in order for me to buy your silence)?"

She didn't look at him, rather laid down on the marble interior of the table kicking her feet back and forth. "That foolish woman was _Hana_ I believe."

She was playing something and he has no will to tag along. So he repeated, "what do you want?"

"It's fitting isn't it? To be buried underneath a garden." She rolled over and grab a ripe cherry.

"Azula…" He was getting annoyed.

"I wonder if my death would be that pleasant—"

"Do I need to kiss you to silence you?" That clearly got her attention. However, Zuko doesn't understand what came over him for him to say such a thing. Still it has the desired effect.

She sneers getting up, "that will have the opposite effect dear brother. But you're welcome to try." She pop the fruit into her mouth.

He snarled, "what do you want then?"

"As much as you, I want answers." Her gaze was distant, piercing right through him.

"What kind?" He knew she was spinning her web, he just has to spin _his_ faster.

"Even if I asked, you wouldn't remember to answer." Azula sighed as she got off the table and landed herself on the scarlet sofa. She lay herself down and turn his way. She was waiting for him to give in. She knew she has the upperhand.

Zuko gritted his teeth with knuckle-white fists. Before he combusted, thunder roared in the distant and suddenly he is pierced with an idea that made him smirk in confidence. She hasn't won yet.

"Azula, how would you like to have another exchange with me?"

She snicker, "what more could you give me?" It's true his sister has everything; the talent, the brains, the looks, Ozai's favour, her position as Fire Princess and a life of luxury. Yet, he learned throughout his years that everyone lacks something or they wouldn't be ambitious. Especially Azula, no matter how perfect she seems.

"You're in the middle of learning how to bend lightning right?" This has gotten her full attention as her eyes narrowed while she got up frozen in mid-chew of the cherry.

Zuko flash a chilling smile, "I'll teach you how to redirect it."

Azula instantly stood at the moment when lighting strikes turning everything blue and white. Instantly she is in front of him grabbing his collar and pulling him harshly downwards to threatened, "don't play with me or you'll get burned."

"I'm not." He grasp her hand and send a slight shock. It was proof that he wasn't bluffing. Indeed, mastering lightning was quite hard.

"Aren't you full of surprises." She smirked and release her hold.

Azula then ventured out to the balcony. Grey clouds, strong winds and dismal bleakness shrouded the Capital in rain, the natural enemy of fire. Odd how he only noticed the downpour now. Everything he thinks he knew seemed to wash away at the moment when he sees Azula sitting on the balcony railing, not caring if she gotten wet.

"That night you ran off and I chased after you. When I caught up five people already laid beneath your feet."

He recalled the air being still and dreary as he walked through the dimly lit tunnels. He sees ominous shadows lurking behind the corner concealing the truth they hold. And remembering the thrill as he walked in.

"When I had asked what you were doing, you said 'Something fun' while you held Mother by the throat."

Like claws his hand went for the throat first. Soft, warm flesh and the pulse of beating heart made him smile. He always love crushing things that are _alive._ Then feeling it _still_ afterwards _._ Zuko was now shaking his head frantically. That wasn't him, it can't be!

"But what was truly stunning was the fire you wield. Mother was covered in flames while you smiled with an outstretched hand to me. Yet…she wasn't burning...but aging in... _black flames._ "

More unknown images flash in his mind. Bodies fell before him like flies. He sees darken, lifeless faces some in dread, some in horrible as if they were looking at an abomination. He couldn't help, but want the despair in their eyes, so he pulled each one carefully out. Their screams were music to his ears. He let his black flames slowly devour them. They struggled, trying to escape and he remembered enjoying the hunt and the power rush. His next victim got their vocal cord ripped out. The next has his ears pierced until the five were no more than lumps of flesh begging for death.

 _See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil._ Those words intensified his headache as cruel laughter soon followed. The darkness within was bubbling out. He force it down with willpower. The coil on his left shoulder scald.

He was dizzy as if he was losing control. "W-what did you say…?" He couldn't comprehend it all. As if they were missing each other at every encounter while traveling on different roads of the conversation.

She repeated more sternly. "I asked why didn't you burn them." She then stared back at him with icy eyes. "The least you could've done was burn their bodies."

Zuko flinched as Azula's voice projected harsher, lower, deadly. She appeared truly angry. "Instead you replied, 'There were _no_ souls to burn.' Then I rushed in and fought you." She paused, "you can figure out the rest from there."

Zuko remembered regaining his senses and seeing Azula shielding Ursa and multiple bodies lying beneath him. Yet there were other scenes jumbled in his head where he left the men he hunted to rot in the labyrinth eyeless, deaf or mute.

"…that…can't be..." He remembered burning his mother's assassins. Although he thought it was bizarre they were so skinny and lifeless for trained killers. He even burned the ones he tortured. Their eyes were odd as if they feared him more than death.

His sister stare at him on the balcony ledge, hair wet and eyes cold. That in itself said more than enough that Azula wasn't holding anything back.

"That doesn't explain the six bodies buried underneath the garden." He unknowingly stated.

"What are you mumbling about? Wasn't it you who buried them?"

"No… no I didn't…" He stare up at her in horror. " I thought you had."

Lightning flash and thunder roared. Rain plummet harder as silence engulfs them.

Azula must've assumed the five bodies in the garden to be the men with Mother. There were six and a ferryman. He made sure to burn them all. He doesn't want to think about the black fire she speaks of, he rather focus on the six buried bodies in the garden.

When he was about to question her again, the double doors slammed opened. He instantly clam his mouth.

"Who dared create such chaos on the second day of my reign?!" Ozai's voice echoed in the large chamber.

As if storm clouds parted, the clogs in his mind started dispersing and render him to formulate.

" _Laying your hands on my property without my permission?_ Who do you think you are to touch my garden?"

Then comprehension clicked. _Of course. Who else?_ Ursa was a liability to Ozai's throne. There was never one group of assassins. Not only the seven hired by the fallen noble houses, but _he_ has the most motive to kill her. The bodies underneath the garden were his hired men! Zuko thought it was suspicious why Ozai hasn't acted. The man did, but failed so he buried his crime. Maybe that maid he had an affair with was buried by this monster as well? Disgusting. Truth was so very ugly.

In his peripheral vision he could see Azula tense. So even his sister had something she feared. Zuko didn't acknowledge her as he bend down on all four bringing his forehead to the cold marble tiles, "it was solely my decision Father." It might be because he was the older brother and she the little sister, that he decided not to drag her in. At these moments he realized the depths of his _weakness._

Zuko stared at the tiles waiting for the inevitable. He does apprehend he won't benefit in any means by protecting her. The serpent in his head screamed at his stupidity, even his own conscious can predict the outcome. Azula will hate him for this, she has always protected herself without his help, she has demonstrated it numerous times before. In the end she will say, ' _Don't think I owe you a thing,"_ leaving him bruising, conflicted. Because that is the nature of their relationship, he has long accepted it.

"Then you, _boy_ will receive 100 lashes as punishment for disobedience." Of course the man didn't ask for the reason why he had done so in the first place. This person _doesn't_ care.

"Yes, Father." He said it timidly while he stare blankly at the floor, mind and face unfazed. Zuko has lived through worse than standard torture, which made this punishment child's play.

"Begone from my sight." The man's voice was cold, tone held disgust.

Zuko slowly got up from his position. His face neutral as he sees in the corner of his eyes Azula's familiar smiling face. As he thought, nothing has changed in this snake pit. What does he expect? From the start he knew, you'll end up dying if you rely on others. You'll only survive if you remain alert and be wary of those closest to you. That is one thing he learned to certain.

Especially with his sister. Destruction is her game. Pain is her fun. And Zuko could not help feeling his heart tightened at the thought.

He supposed he was now led by the guards to the torture chambers, leaving Ozai and Azula alone in the room.

How he wished to kill his heart, so that the whip hurts more.

* * *

 **Hana:** usually means _flowers_ in Japanese.

The assortment of flowers in the black vase will be explain next chapter. So what do you all think? How do you like the characters? What do you like about this chapter? What improvement should I work on? What was your experience reading this? **Please let me know with your amazing reviews!**


	6. Sounds of Chain

Edited: December 15th, 2016

 **Chapter 5:** **Sounds of Chain**

"Again, Prince Zuko." Piandao did not comment on the prince's slow movements when transitioning to each stance. There was no need since he was aware of the injuries the prince sustained when the boy had amass the Fire Lord's displeasure.

Still, it doesn't explain why occasionally the young prince would overestimate his reach making his core balance come undone in his stances. Although these instances has been drastically reduced, it didn't cipher why it had developed in the first place. The only explanation was that the prince was used to controlling the two swords in a fully grown body, which was implausible. Yet it didn't need to be conveyed as he saw the youth in front of him grimacing while adjusting his balance himself.

"Again."

There, that slight instant where Prince Zuko's landing became off as if he was used to adjusting to a heavier body weight. Strangely, that was the only problem in his swordsmanship. Before Piandao had realized, his disciple came to master the daos seamlessly. It was certainly odd, nonetheless it made him proud.

"Let's stop for today." The large dojo finalized his command with a firm echo. Piandao knew full well the fire in the prince's eyes declared that he could continue, but as a master swordsman he knew when training become less than effort and simple exertion on the body. This was also his consideration for the prince's injuries. Such deep wounds cannot simply heal in three days like the prince demanded. Piandao has been strictly lectured by the Royal Physician to not overexert the royal. And he was a man of his word. Though Piandao knew if his old friend had his ways with the prince, the youth wouldn't be training or pursuing to perfect his katas for the next two weeks!

"Do not be impatient your highness. Your improvements in the last few months have been vast." To the point he wasn't sure what more to teach the twin blades user.

The Fire Prince only hummed as a reply, seemingly distracted by the two wooden blades he held. Piandao did not missed the mumble, "They're too light…" Then as instructed he placed the wooden daos in its proper spot. But when he came back, he'd brought something much heavier than what he had previously carried. The large rectangular box was half his sizes. Piandao had to ask, "What is this Prince Zuko?"

The royal grinned before opening the box and stating, "I would like to challenge Sifu Piandao to a duel."

Surprised at the words the young prince had spoken and the four swords in the box, Piandao debated. In the end, the conclusion was unfortunate. The youth was still physically injured, exhausted from the training and occasionally has issues with his balance. His disciple was at an overwhelming disadvantage challenging a master swordsman such as himself. Yet with all those factors against him, why does the boy still initiate such an offer?

Piandao knew the prince was smart enough to comprehend this fact…

"Sifu, this works in your favour."

He raised a brow signalling the prince to continue.

"If you win, I will do anything in my power to release your chain — the law which binds you to me as my Master." The youth doesn't comprehend how heavy his statement and the burdens in it contained.

To begin with, Piandao has fought many battles in this 100 Years War to the point where he became sick of the bloodshed and decided to desert the army, knowing full well the consequences it brings. Still, he chose a life of repentance, searching for the path of enlightenment than a battlefield awashed in the blood of children and separating families from their loved ones. He refused to teach more students who will used his knowledge to wage war and train in the arts of massacre. Even when he was so reluctant in taking in disciples, he still trained the Fire Nation's Crown Prince. Why does his action contradict his beliefs? That is the last thing Piandao wanted the young prince to know. It was never the boy's fault, the fault lied in adults. Piandao didn't wish to add onto the child's burden.

"And what if his highness wins?"

Prince Zuko lit a half smile before solemnly answering, "I would like a sword from my master." The prince had his eyes glue to his palms before they formed tight fists.

"But please," the boy's golden eyes locked with his in determination, "Fight me in earnest, Master." At that moment Piandao believed this boy knew more than anyone believed and perhaps... the young prince already discerned that Piandao was forced to be his instructor not because he saw the prince being worthy of the sword. No, the real reason was much uglier. Piandao agreed to be the Crown Prince's sword instructor because his parents were held hostage by the Fire Lord. And that was the _last thing_ Piandao wanted his first disciple to know…

He closed his eyes and before opening them responded, "Very well Prince Zuko. I accept your challenge."

When Piandao opened his eyes he was already in his stance, two dual broadswords in hand as he saw his young disciple charging at him.

The boy was truly impressive. He striked without hesitation, which was rare for a beginner holding actual blades for the first time. Not only that, but there was purpose in his every move and power within every strike. It wasn't an exaggeration if the boy was actually a prodigy in disguise.

However, with only this amount of skills the boy cannot hope to defeat a master of Piandao's level. He swiftly used the boy's momentum to fluidly block every swing of the swords and utilized his foot techniques to evade and strike at the best position. What was amazing wasn't that the boy used one sword to block and the other to attack interchangeably, but the fact that he utilized his surroundings to his advantage by using the dojo's walls, so that Piandao couldn't use his foot techniques to move to the boy's blind spot, all the while manipulating his surroundings to dodge each of his strikes. This could only be possible if the prince was instantly taking in his environment and calculating his attacks while he fights. No moves were a waste of energy.

It was quite astonishing to see such a young child battling with so much experience. It was as if the prince has gone through countless battles in order to accomplish such feats. Simply training, no matter how hard or effort putted in, one can never amount to someone who has been in many life threatening situations on the battlefield. It was simply impossible. Yet the impossible was clearly being demonstrated in front of his eyes by a 10-year-old boy no less!

Piandao sidestepped seeing an opportunity as the prince positioned himself for a decisive strike. With his current position it was ideal to swing down the hilt of his blade targeting the prince's right wrist. Then switching forms to place his sword to his pupil's throat and in doing so, the match will end. Even if the youth realized, it was far too late since the prince couldn't change direction at his rapid speed.

 _Clink!_

Piandao face wasn't fazed, but his eyes widened considerably showing his surprise. _Amazing._ It was the only thought in Piandao's mind. His disciple not only managed to dodge that attacks by taking advantage of the polish wooden floor lined with sweat to slide under while using his swords in the process to unbalance him, but also escaped his striking range to created a safe distance in order to regroup and buy time to formulate a new strategy.

Although Piandao was truly proud of what his first disciple had shown him in this few minute match that has seemed to lasted hours, it was clear the prince was reaching his limit while he barely was even sweating. It was also getting dangerous since the smooth wooden floor boards were being sprayed with the prince's perspiration. If the boy were to slip while holding two sharp blades, his execution would be the last of his worries. He needed this match to end now. It appears the young prince also realized this as he shift to a firm stance which disregarded defense for full offense. His disciple's breathing was perfectly control unlike the harsh intakes of breaths before.

Piandao lit a smile as he witnessed his pupils determination in front. Throughout this duel a fire had spark inside. Piandao switched to a full defensive stance as if proclaiming he shall take everything his disciple has and send it all back. It was a battle of whether the youth can overcome his walls or crumble beneath it.

"Come!" He shouted in excitement. It had been awhile since he felt this thrill in a spar!

Firm steps like an earthbender, yet quick like an airbender, the boy executed moves after move deadly with precision, transitioning them as fluidly as a waterbender warping the flow of water. This made Piandao eager to block each and every strike so he could see more of what this prodigy had to offer. Not anyone can do what the boy was displaying. If they can only witness the prince now, no one can say he's talentless, inept, unqualified to hold the title of Crown Prince!

The youth jumped in the air taking his agility to consideration and started creating momentum in his spin as he brought two of his blades downward with deadly precision. Piandao instinctively made an X with his two swords in order to block the powerful blow. He bend his knees for a sturdier foundation and relaxed his arm muscle to cushion the impact. He was more than impressed that the boy used his entire body weight, gravity and momentum to push down as the final decisive move. Piandao can feel his disciple's resolve, but as the master he can't disappoint! With such a passionate attack he had to answer back!

Piandao for the first time in many years hollered to call upon all the strengths at his possession in order to force his disciple back. The boy went flying and in the end, landed with a _thud_ on his back.

Piandao took a second to gain his bearings before approaching the groaning youth. They were both breathing heavily with adrenaline still pumping in their veins. Before he could say anything the prince started chuckling before bursting out into laughter. He himself began relaxing with a chuckle of his own as he sat next to his disciple on the rich wood.

"I'm glad Sifu." His pupil grinned widely before exclaiming, "You didn't yield an inch."

Piandao smiled and answered, "Who do you think your Sifu is? I'm a man of my words."

The boy nodded, responding in a cheerful tone, "And I too." He then stood and did a bow with palm to fist he said, "I am fortunate to have such a great swordmaster as Sifu Piandao. I hereby release my master from this burden."

He knew what the boy was doing was a sign of great respect. After all, people of royalty in the Fire Nation should never bow their head to those of lower status. It was a law in this country, the Royalty were treated as Agni's children, so naturally they should never in their life have to bow to anyone other than the Fire Lord who was closest to Agni himself. Yet, the Crown Prince of this nation was bowing his head to him. It made his heart swell to receive such an honour.

"Prince Zuko, please raise your head." The boy kept his head bow a few seconds longer before raising it.

"Please allow me to truly serve as your swordmaster this time your highness." The clear shock written on the prince's face was apparent.

"But — "

Piandao cut the boy off, "I can't let such a talented disciple get away can I? Allow me to make a sword for someone who is worthy of it."

"This never hap—" He observed the boy shaking his head in disbelief, "No, thank you Sifu! I shall cherish it with my life!"

Piandao never seen a prince who can have anything and everything he desired lit up with such happiness from receiving words that could easily be said thoughtlessly. As the Crown Prince of the most powerfully advanced nation in the world, he could simply command others to give him the best sword and a million other things. It wouldn't be an exaggeration if he desired a sword purely made of diamonds. Yet, this young child seemed to be satisfied with so little that it hurt Piandao's heart to see such an innocent boy break in the corruption of this nation, much less keep his sanity living in it all. With determination Piandao resolved himself.

"Then I must ask if your highness will allow me to stay by your side."

The cheerfulness in the prince's demeanour suddenly vanished.

"Are you sure…?" The prince asked quietly with a half rueful smile. There seemed more to this than meets the eye.

"Yes, I'm sure." He has the responsibility to watch over his disciple; to protect what he believes to be the hope of this dystopic country.

The prince remain oddly quiet. He had a distant look in his eyes before replying, "I hope you don't regret it later..." The words were unsettling, but Piandao was resolved to see his decision through. He was a man of his word and he knows, this boy beside him has the potential to change the world.

Piandao truly believed it shall be a better world than the current war torn one.

"And Sifu," Piandao turned to the boy who has a childish grin on his face. "I would like pure silver duel-wielding blades please."

Piandao laughed merrily. This boy is full of surprises! Pure silver blades were common knowledge to be truly terrible swords. It's so soft that it would blunt itself to uselessness on encountering anything solid, not to mention it easily tarnishes and dulls faster than the average steel when exposed to air, temperature and humidity. It's a chore to take care of for it requires more maintenance than a regular weapon. Its only redeeming quality is its beautiful appearance when used as a luxury decoration in noble households.

But the expression the prince had said he already knew, yet still asked for such a thing. _The imagination is limitless, so too is the possibility of the sword_ passes through his mind, making him smiled. This time Piandao believe in his disciple, for he didn't question it like he did with the previous challenge. This boy must have his reasons. Although the prince lost in the match, he'd gained something much more valuable, and that was Piandao's trust.

Because the old master knew, if the boy had used his fire in that last attack, the match would've ended very differently.

* * *

Zuko sees city lights, and bustling crowds and children playing. He sees the tango colors of the sunset behind little houses on flat lands with cheerful residents. He sat on top of the tallest hilltop within the Caldera overseeing the peaceful, quiet night that slowly descended on the Capital. Countless stars had fill up the sky, shining so brightly to cause his vision to blur.

This was the first time he had snuck out of the Palace disguised only as a peasant boy without his Blue Spirit mask on. For that, he was grateful because nothing good comes when he wears the mask… It was another first since he came to the past truly enjoying the serenity of a city not caught in flames, awashed with blood and reeking of deaths. Not everything has yet to shatter due to his mistakes. This brought Zuko comfort, perhaps his last before he has to destroy it all (again).

He laid down deeply inhaling the fresh cooling breeze with laced fingers beneath his head. He fathomed new beginnings are impossible for him after experiencing what he had. Yet, Zuko could believe he has changed the dynamic between his relationship with his Sifu for the better. In the past few days, his master has seemed almost excited putting forth his efforts into designing and gathering materials in order to forge the twin blades. The memory brought a smile to his lips. It has been a long time since he'd been able to relax in someone's company; to lower his guard just a bit.

Through it all, the prince hoped to convince his Sifu in joining his cause than to side with the White Lotus. Surely by now his uncle is vastly expanding his network as he travelled around the world. The old General did have the rare ability to gain people's affection, to the extent it will become an obstacle in Zuko's path. He thinks rather than Ozai… his beloved uncle will be the hardest enemy to defeat. And that dread was as strong as confronting his uncle after his betrayal in the Catacombs. The feeling swelled like a festering tumor, for he shall have to do it again. The disappointment in his uncle's eyes will surely be devastating.

Zuko sighed as he gazed up at the starry night. He saw the same sky, stars and moon. The same scenery that he has yearned for. Memories of home and...the image that became imprinted on the night of his death. It is both his salvation and contrition. He has no right to be content after what he has done… how many he had killed… and how many more has to go for his dream.

Zuko reached out his right hand to the sky. His palm casted shadows, a contrast to the light above. He counted the twinkling lights between his fingers, a shooting star passed. With lingering open palms he trailed after it before clenching it tightly as if grasping for resolve. Yet he understood how impossible it was to contain such a thing, like shooting stars, resolve fades in a blink... as well as ideals. His fist hovered in the air a minute longer before dropping it listlessly to the grassy fields.

He couldn't stop loving this beautiful...cruel world… Even when it takes and takes and continues taking to render him as a ghost of his former self. Sometimes he thinks the Serpent had devoured him whole and what he is now was a hollow shell. Still even as an empty container, Zuko cannot help loving a world where the people he cherishes lives. Maybe that was the only reason this body still move to his will — preventing the monster from rampaging out.

His former self was naive to have thought he'd gained freedom, be his own person, and founded his destiny. They were mere illusions he invented in order not to see the reality of his decisions. He is still very much chained to his past, to his memories and — he swallowed them down — still repeating his mistakes by denying to take actions. He is pathetically weak; a small pebble in a vast sea of stars.

Before he realized, Zuko had one arm covering his eyes. The cold sting on his cheeks weren't tears. It was the frosty air penetrating his skin. He wasn't unraveling. He shouldn't stop on a path he had chosen...he mustn't lose all his control to fear or _it_ will take over. Zuko had unconsciously clenched the grass in his grip to calm his trembling body. He's afraid of the world he'd lived in — experiencing suffering and sacrifices and hardships that he was borned into. The worst part: _he is scared of death._

"I don't want to die…" he weakly mumbled out. He tries to block the mental sensation of his flesh being burned, allowing the putrid smell to infest his mind and skin.

"Are you alright?"

Zuko instantly rubbed his eyes and sat up. He turned his attention to the source of the voice. There, sitting beside him was a young woman wearing a simple faded red kimono. Her hair was tied in a messy bun, loose strands framed her heart-shaped face and dark hazel eyes. But what caught his attention was the prominent deep cut that lined vertical from her left brow to the middle of her cheek. She must have noticed his stares to have gently place a hand over her scar.

Zuko abashedly stuttered out, "I-I'm sorry! Uh...I never meant to stare..."

The woman removed her hand from her scar and answered, "It's alright. I'm used to it."

Zuko however, couldn't forgive himself. He pulled down the hood of his cloak lower to conceal his shame. It was even worse when the woman was comforting him since he knew better; having a scar on one's face is never easy, especially in the Fire Nation. You never get used to it when others are around.

Silence consumed them as Zuko prepared himself to leave.

"Are you not going to ask how I'd gotten this mark?" She said while tracing the cut on her face.

"...no." For he knew how sensitive it must be for the person who has the scar and how cruel people can with thoughtless words. He had suffered through it all his life. The memories were never pleasant so he never bothered looking into a mirror. His scar reflected in the eyes of others were enough to harm, anger and humiliated him.

The wind carried her voice. "You're a very considerate person. Everyone I came across had asked."

Zuko swallowed. "What did you do?"

His eyes were downcast focusing on the rustling of grass. Images of him burning the people who had even mentioned his scar flooded his mind. Guilt drowns him when the voice next to him said firm and confident, "I answered looking them straight in the eyes. I have nothing to be ashamed of."

Zuko looked up. The woman had a proud expression on.

"You're a very strong person." Zuko had uttered weakly.

"...well, I see this mark as a medal of honour."

Zuko wanted to laugh. He came to _accept_ his, but never will he associate it with _honour_. It was shame and humiliation and defeat — a past he wanted gone. But the old anger did not bubble up. Maybe he was too wary, too tired from all his accumulated experiences to feel anything anymore. Maybe this was how his uncle felt about the war...

"I defended my honour and survived."

From her tone and the dark expression she held, the content of the event must've been much worse. This woman was a survivor.

Perhaps he felt a connection to this stranger which made him nostalgic to the point he lamented, "Someone once taught me that violence was never the answer… That there is always a choice between violence and forgiveness."

The woman beside him stare into the distance. "That person must've been a true idealist," she finally said.

"Yes," Zuko couldn't agree more. With melancholy he gazed up into the vast sky continuing, "He was someone who had never soiled his hands. Even when he was confronted with a situation that needed him to betray those beliefs because it was for the greater good of the world... my friend never did." The cold wind blew making him shivered, "He proved the world wrong and fulfilled his duty, never once gotten dirty." A chuckle left him. How he wanted to quench the jealousy within.

"Your friend sounds like a great person."

"He... _I wanted to be like him."_ Zuko reach up to touch the left side of his face forgetting that the burn was no longer there and only the softness of his flesh remained. "I tried." He then clenched his fist so fast that his nails had scraped his skin. "But I'd failed. I cannot be something I never was..." He rubbed at the blood running down his left cheek. He hoped she doesn't interpret them as tears.

The young woman looking no older than sixteen turned to him with confusion in her eyes. Zuko however, didn't glance her way and instead continue looking at the half moon. Nights are full of terrors, he knows it well. He lived through it again and again in dreams and wake trying desperately to bury his past.

"I was five when I killed." He felt a load lifted, finally having unburdened himself with the one truth he'd kept to his grave. Oddly he trusted the woman beside him not to judge.

Zuko remembered his mother offering him a bundle of warmth. An odd child that never cried and only stares wide eyes in wonder. His mother had a heavy sorrow in her strain expression as she declared it to be his baby sister. At that moment, he became an older brother — a label he didn't need. As if Zuko was being chained down, Ursa's words became the seal to his misfortunes. The past is a scar, it runs deep and stays ugly.

Calmly he admitted, "My mother told me to always protect my sister. So when I saw a stranger taking my sleeping sister away from me, I instinctively took the knife my father had me kept under the pillow to plunge it into the man's throat. Due to my inexperience, the person slowly died choking on his own blood."

Zuko looks into the great distant of the Caldera. "I still see his eyes watching me as if those minutes froze to eternity before the eyes loses its light."

"Your time has stopped." It was a statement.

The Fire Prince hummed, staring at his right palm then clenching it, opening it and began repeating the sequences a few more times before finishing, "I later found out he was merely a servant my mother told to take my sister back to her room." The pause made the air twist, "But that's not the worst part." He felt placid when he confessed, "I didn't really regret doing it. Even now, I don't regret it."

A large gust of wind swirled as Zuko turned to the stranger beside him, his golden eyes glowed eerily in the darkness of night. "My sister thinks she is a monster. What she doesn't realize is that true monsters don't reveal themselves." He showed her his gentlest smile while bringing his index finger to his lips, "I'd never had the guts to tell anyone this so please keep it our little secret." The slits in his eyes creased as the sentence finished.

Zuko saw the woman swallow as the breeze carried the loose strands of her black hair. His instincts told him she wasn't one for gossips. The woman gave off a stench similar to his. A clinging odor of blood and rust and death and decay; an individual who continues struggling their whole life.

"You did the right thing." Her hands clenched over her chest, "I would've done the same, instead of regretting my whole life for not taking action."

Zuko chuckled, "My friend would disagree."

"How so?"

The prince stared at the woman. "He would be furious." No doubt Aang would have reprimand, then not talk to him for weeks, "Nevertheless, he'll forgive me even if I can never forgive myself."

The woman whispered, "Your friend must've lived in a good household to be able to preach such beauty and follow it through in a world such as this."

"No, he was with good people. People that truly cherished and loved this world. To the extent I was convinced they would make this world a better place." He gaze at his right palm rough with blisters, "I wanted to walk such a beautiful path with them and be the person they believed I was." Zuko closed his palm releasing a sigh.

"And now?"

He became silent. Clouds overhead blocked the stars, making the moon the only visible light casting deep shadows. No longer did he see people outside their houses or children playing. The night was still and sombre.

This talk had helped him made peace with himself. With finalization he proclaimed, "It's impossible now."

Flashes of the peaceful scenery he saw before him were replaced with houses ablaze, blacken bodies, children screaming while crowds running in mayhem to escape. He recalled being informed that his crazy father escaped in the chaos while he was rendered to watch his efforts at rebuilding a kind and just nation burnt to the ground. What stood out in his mind was the horrid stench of burning flesh. It always present when the cycle of revenge is involved. Revenge that fostered hatred and blacken corpses and an ugly price. His price was his infant child paying for his mistakes. And Zuko cannot live through that again. Forgiveness is impossible for him. He cannot be like Aang or Katara or his uncle. He was never that strong.

He closed his eyes in finalization. Only those prepared to die can change the world. "I must spill more blood, so the blood already spilt will not be in vain." With fire and blood he shall carve his vision upon this world. Evil shall seek salvation when he is done.

The voice of the woman next to him hitched. He payed it no heed as he stood up and thanked her for her time. He turned his back to the city below and strode in determination towards his chambers. He had a lot to plan if he wanted his dream to come true. A dream which was like a flower holding on for life inside his mind. He couldn't let go similar to that bundle of warmth he held long ago.

It's understandable that from now on his ambition would cloud the guidance of his uncle and friends. But it's the end result that counts, not the means of getting there. So surely one day they'll come to understand.

The world would not change, if he did nothing to change it. Zuko pulled the ribbon of his phoenix tail, his dark locks slipped down as he discard the red silk to the wind. It was never just about a country or bringing balance to the world or anything complicated like that. No, he just needed a world where the people he cherished can be happy. But such a place didn't exist. So he vowed to create such a world if it meant the people he loved could be safe and sound... Even if that world didn't consist of him.

* * *

Shiki stood on the balcony of the Scarlet Palace sinking her body near its walls while letting the shadows engulf the rest. She, who had years of training in the arts of stealth, edged closer to peer through the large windows perfectly designed to let in sunlight. The soft transparent curtains fluttered in the moonlight as her target opened the window to let in the breeze. She observed him sitting down on his bed as he dimmed the candle light while reading a scroll. Thankfully, the prince's pet was fast asleep in its golden cage.

Usually, she didn't answer to mysterious clients, especially if they wanted her to go after women or children. Often than not, her clients would commission her services by appealing to justify why their target should be killed. How they were wronged and bringing justice to an act of murder. But this time, the client was different, they only left a the name of the target they want assassinated and the full payment in gold. They had given her a choice. There was no rhythm, or emotions involved. The whole request was irrational. This bubbled her curiosity. But maybe her teacher was right. Curiosity kills the cat. But he's long gone now so why should she listen when she had proven it with her superior skills? She wasn't the best in the business for nothing.

But now even the target had caught her interest. Before every kill, Shiki always do a detailed background check on both her client and their desired target(s). But this time was different. She had nothing on the client other than their alias, and a third party carrying their will. Most after all were wealthy pigs that hires a substitute to explain their situation because they see it as beneath them to mingle with the peasants or even set foot on such an unsightly place such as the slum of the Capital. Even her informant that usually acts as an intermediary doesn't know anything about the person that seeked such a difficult request. There wasn't even a voice that dictates their status or age. The client was clearly knowledgeable with how much information they wanted distributed. Therefore, they must have been very high up in the social ladder to request the assassination of the nation's Crown Prince.

However, the opposite could be said with the Crown Prince of this nation. With such a position, information were plentiful. It was hard _not_ to come by information not related to the newly ascended Prince.

If royalty was involved, it was pretty obvious that this was another conspiracy of the courts. Typical of the rich snobs in this country. They sure had lots of time! Still, they were the ones putting money in her pockets so she couldn't really complain. However, even assassins has codes of ethics they abide by. If not, they would be simple serial killers. She, being very particular in never laying hands on women or children is now going against such a creed. Because only once did she committed such an act and only once will it remain.

This job intrigues her; there is something strange she couldn't put a finger on. Especially with every recon, she found herself more curious. The common knowledge showed that the child had no influence, often said to be talentless compared to his prodigy of a sister. A shadow, a naive spoiled good-for-nothing. With close observation, Shiki found something didn't add up. It was in his conduct. Unlike his perfect sister, he showed faults everywhere he goes...as if they were meticulously planned so he becomes invisible, harmless to the point people assume he could easily be manipulated. It was so perfect that she was fooled. Until he slipped at the party where she disguised herself as a servant and brought her gift to him. He clearly knew their underlying message, but instead of fear or anger, he told her to send the flowers to his room as if amused. That is where the fault lies. That fault which she discovered to have contradicted the facts.

Shiki was so curious in unveiling the person, she did something completely out of character — she approached the target. What came wasn't a child wary of strangers or naive enough to try and escape the oppression of palace life — like she assumed he would act. No, instead she met something much more. The flashes of his smiles and the slits of his golden eyes were uncannily predatory as if they can see through everything — it made him appear mature beyond his years. She shivered at the memory. He might be the most fearsome by far. The boy merely ten, is able to wear a mask so seamlessly that none suspects he even has one, unless he desires them to see. And that is _frightening._

"Zuzu."

Shiki transferred her attention to the princess sudden presence at the chamber doors. She could see the tension in the air.

"It's late. What do you want Azula?" She heard faintly. His tone implied he doesn't want to deal with his sister at the moment.

"You should know." Shiki watched the young princess in her nightgown walking closer to the windows. She quickly retreated into the darker shadows where moonlight didn't reach.

"If you want the letter, I have it here."

Shiki sighed in relief. Princess Azula who is known to be cruel and ruthless changed directions towards her brother.

"You got what you wanted. Now, leave."

"How stupid you're being, Brother." The princess said while she read the letter before burning the parchment in her palm. "You're missing an opportunity here, Zuzu."

"I want nothing of it."

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"Why are you so insistent?" The prince bit back, tone irritated.

Rumours were true. The sibling's relationship is anything than close. How they act towards each other reveals plenty. But she knew that wasn't nearly the case. The prince would kill for his sister. This is his act of protection. He is smart, making it so that his enemies doesn't see the benefit of targeting his family, now that his mother is gone. He had created a web so thick, no one would believe anything other than his lies.

"Name your price." The Fire Princess huffed out.

"What?" Shiki saw him put down the scroll he was immersed in seconds ago.

"Dumdum, your stupidity exceeds you. Before my patience wears thin, I'm asking what you want in return for your silence."

"Keeping silence for what?" His tone sounded knowing.

Shiki could feel the girl's piercing glare directed at her brother on the bed.

"Ah! You mean the terrible pain I had to endure because you told me to dig Mom's garden?"

"Know one thing." The candle in the room glowed intense. " _I don't owe you a thing._ This is my whim. Be grateful."

Silence engulfed them, then laughter burst.

"What's so funny?"

Shiki manage to make out, "Haha...no, just that…" Then the sound of him trying to snuff laugher down, "You seem to think everything is about you. Don't fool yourself _Sis_ , I didn't do it for you so you don't owe me."

"Like I sai— "

"But if you _insist,_ where is part two of this scroll?" He held up the rolled up parchment in his hand.

"You expect me to give it to you _after you said all that_?" The princess' voice was even. It held a defined edge that wasn't present before.

"Well, yes. You didn't storm out did you?" Shiki could feel the confidence in his tone.

"You're insufferable you know that? Now I'm more compelled to _burn_ that smirk off your face than just leaving a few scratches."

Silence spoke and Shiki tries to edge closer. The red transparent curtains whip in the breeze. The wind picks up and she held her breath.

"Do you fear pain Zuzu?"

Minutes passes. Momentary quiet before a frail whisper drowns the surroundings. "No… I'm very much afraid of the stench though."

"Then why do you keep such an ominous thing in your room?" The figure of the princess pointed to the black vase with the wilted flowers beside the bed. This made Shiki lean further in.

There is amusement in his voice now. "It would be a waste not to display it."

"You find death threats amusing?" His sister sneered back.

She heard a soft chuckle, "I see it as a challenge." Shiki smirked. This boy was clearly underestimating her. Instead of doubling his guards, changing their standard routine and reporting to the Fire Lord, the prince instead chose to do nothing. It was a sign of his confidence. The boy was either foolish or stupidly brave to display such a candid move.

Princess Azula stepped near the large bed. "I would say you're deluding yourself, but my spies tells me you're doing well in sword practice. Although I can't say the same for your firebending." There was pause then, "Why are you using your injuries as excuses for cancelling your lessons?"

Her ear caught a sigh from the prince before he replied, "You know why." Shiki couldn't make out his features due to the curtains. But based on his voice, the reason was painful to admit.

"You're a fool to hide it."

"...I would be stupid to show it." There seemed more to be said in that statement, but he didn't expand.

"Dumdum you're a failure and soft to boot."

"Hey."

"Not only that, but you're not at all dependable or the smartest in the shed. A truly disgraceful Crown Prince."

"What are you trying to say? Don't you think I know all that?!" Shiki saw him out of bed and approaching her fast. His sister's verbal assaults were unrelenting.

"Father said you're — "

"Lucky to be born. _I know."_ He stopped centimeters from his sister.

"But even with all these faults, you're still my brother." Shiki was slightly taken aback. That was unexpected from the ruthless princess. The girl who was said to be fearsome and malicious.

"Family sticks together so I'll give you this."

Shiki could not make out the object placed in the prince's hand due to the dim light and fluttering curtains, but she did see the figure of Princess Azula exiting the chamber with an air of satisfaction.

The prince remained in his exact spot even after his sister left, stunned. The minutes felt like hours before the boy finally placed himself back on his bed. "Instead of ointment... she returned my uncle's pearl dagger." It was said wistfully before the candles dimmed to nothing and the rustling of sheets could be heard.

Shiki remained in the shadows. All she has to do now is wait for the moment to strike. Even if no one else sees it, this Crown Prince was dangerous. Her client was testing her, giving her the option — her judgement to decide like some God that can dictate people's lives. A sick game to say the least. Shiki is not pleased with her decision. But she understands it to be necessary.

* * *

Zuko tossed in his silk sheets. Darkness surrounded him as he thought back to the morning. Ozai, since his coronation never bothered to dine with the family, making it just him, Azula and the surrounding servants in the spacious dining hall. His sister had confronted him during breakfast. She didn't need to say much for him to understand the context.

She wanted clarification on the corpses underneath the garden. He made clear he had no hand in it. He wasn't lying, he had only omitted some truths. After all, Ozai was the one who buried those bodies. He had answered her questions truthfully, she hadn't inquired their killer, so he wasn't obligated to say. Whenever Azula is involved, things get complicated. He'd no rhythm in reasoning why he desired to retain their current relationship. Perhaps it was far better than the one he came to know. That was good enough for that small truth to be hidden.

Azula smiled as she always did — blithe and sharp, like the edge of a blade — she didn't say more. He wasn't hopeless to think she'll be fooled, knowing his sister, she knew what to do to get what she wants. She'd stop for now, but he knows she'd plan to pursue, in due time. It was just a matter of when.

Zuko was reluctant in this game of cat and mouse because he knew that he'd give in eventually. And that is the point he'd do anything to prevent. So he distracted her with make believe stories of how he came across the art of lightning redirection. It was a first to see her eager for them to spend the whole day together. Although it was impossible with their conflicting schedules, still it was enough to know that Azula did make time for him and that was something Zuko doesn't recall them ever doing in a long time. The hope is small, but he did want Azula to rely on him... so he could amend for all the times he wasn't there for her.

His ears twitched — _something was moving in the darkness._ Instinctively, he reached under his pillow and blocked the downward blade with his pearl dagger. The assailant appeared to have predicted this and instantly advanced their left dagger in his blind spot. He immediately rolled like a barrel off his bed trying to gain distant from the attacker.

Zuko heard sheets tearing and the creak of his mattress telling him they were in close pursuit. He ducked low trying to melt into the darkness and using the opportunity to slash their tendons to render them immobile, but instead the black figure flipped in the air and landed while directing a few throwing knives at the foot of his bed.

He instantly got on his knees, dived then rolled away from the multiple deadly precise blades plunged at his location. Next he saw the gleam of shurikens in his peripheral — without time to dodge Zuko used his dagger to redirect their trajectory in swift motions before he is met with a long katana swooping down. Strands of his hair fell with a cut on his cheek. The prince immediately brought his dagger up at an angle that is parallel to his inner arm in order to block the strength of the long sword, while he had another blade slid from his left sleeve into his palm as he aimed it at his opponent's abdomen.

Unfortunately the hit didn't land as the assassin brought their left knee up to targeted his wrist making him lose hold of the push dagger before they follow with a high kick to the temple. He managed to duck in a backward motion just in time, however he still sustained damage from the sharp wind pressure in the kick. Blood trickled down the left side of his forehead as he heard the sound of his dagger hitting the ground while his vision blurred. Zuko had no time to breathe as the gleaming katana sliced down with a high pitch frequency cutting through air. He instinctively sweeped his right leg aiming for the inner back of the knee to try and topple his assailant while he has his dominant hand twisting his body in the same direction to create momentum for a stronger impact.

"Your choice was wrong to not heed my threat!" The Fire Prince heard the black figure proclaim as the blade of the sword met his face. In that moment nostalgia hit hard for he often got confronted in similar situations, even before he became Fire Lord, long before his father scarred his face, Zuko has always walked beside death, teetering on a tightrope.

Red splattered on black tiles. Warmth left him as blood continues to leave his body. Cold permeate his wound, spreading like a cancer to the rest of his body as the sound of steel impacted the floor. The longsword blunt and blended. Zuko invasively distanced himself from his assassin while clutching his bleeding shoulder. Luckily the sweeping kick managed to changed the direction of the sword at the last second or his head would be halves.

"Feel like using your fire now?"

Zuko glared at the black figure, their blade now discarded on the floor glistening with his blood. Funny that it still shined red...

"So even this much, you don't find it fit to utilize all your skills to survive?" His assassin unsheathed another blade, this one shorter but broader than the last.

"You sure talk a lot for an assassin." He rebuked back.

"And you sure are confident in that condition."

Zuko inhaled the familiar nauseating smell of iron mixed with steel and sweat. Memories bubbled and burst to the extent he can confidently say, "Don't worry about me. Worry for yourself." He ripped the left sleeve of his robe and tied it around the wound then yanked with his teeth to secure the cloth in place.

Nothing more needed to be said before both clash blades. Zuko was clearly at a disadvantage as he continued on the defensive. Every strike harshly blew him back and he lost ground until being back up to the canopy bed.

"A firebender being ridicule to defense, wielding a mere dagger, unwilling to bend when faced with death. Don't you think your last moment to be pitiful?" Zuko was now cornered; assailant in front and an obstacle behind. The sword slice diagonal and Zuko simply let his body fall onto the mattress while simultaneously rolled and crawled to grab under his pillow. He turned right before a blade plunge his heart as he made an upwards X with his short sword and dagger while using both his feet to push the assassin off.

" _I never said I had only one blade under the pillow."_ Zuko gets off his bed cautiously. This was nothing compared to his last moment.

The person on the ground pulled off their mask and laughed. "You knew."

Moonlight shine through the windows and he sees the woman with the vertical scar. So his hunch was correct.

"You never intended to kill me, did you?" He replied instead.

She glares at him, "Why would I kill my employer?" She sneered as she got up.

"How — "

She cuts in, "It wasn't hard connecting the dots. I knew the client ordering your kill wore a mask, was short and skilled. You met all those criteria, but what set it in stone was the way you acted, as if you were expecting me to come."

Zuko wanted to groan. He was still inexperienced and forgotten his current height was a distinct feature, making it a liability.

"Your mind isn't the only one working." The woman teased, as she sheath her blade. Her tone became serious as she inquired, "What is your reason for doing all this?"

Zuko analyze her for a moment before stating honestly, "I went to the black market and heard you were the best. I wanted to confirm for myself."

The assassin's face appeared momentarily dumbfounded then seconds later, he saw her trying to snuff her laughter down.

"What would you've done if I had actually tried to kill you?"

"I would've prefer you did. Dismissing all my guards prove worthless if I can't gauge your skills for myself."

The amusement in the assassin's eyes were replaced with a sharp gleam. "I've seen all types of people in my line of work." She approach him face serious. "And I know types like you are the most troublesome. So I'll have to refuse whatever proposal you're offering kid."

His face was composed as he ask a simple, "why?" He almost added he didn't appreciate being called a kid, but decided against it. His main priority should be landing the deal.

"Because people like you die young. I wouldn't want a benefactor that won't last, especially if I'm to be involved with the Royal family." She made a sneer. "I'm not thrilled to die anytime soon if you must know."

Zuko circled the woman. "Not even in exchange for information on your sister's killer?"

The woman in front instantly glared at him, the air around her froze. "What do you know?" She spat, "I already killed the person."

Zuko looked up with steady eyes and calmly states, "You mean the man who took you in and trained you to be what you are today?" This point was critical. He has to appeared all knowing. He needed to be Azula.

"Don't push it kid."

"That person lied to you. Your sister was very much alive until my father _impregnated_ her." The moment he pushed the words out, he became absolute trash. Self-loathing spread like a disease within him. However, Zuko was beyond the stage to relent.

As expected, he was quickly grabbed by the throat, feet off the ground. Zuko did not flinch, instead he retained his composure, the very opposite of the person straggling him.

"You don't think I won't kill you here and now, huh? Don't think your position will protect you _brat_." Animosity rear its head in her threat. The killing aura she radiated promised pain and suffering. "All nobles are _filth_. You're no better."

Zuko felt his throat being crushed and air leaving his lungs, he could easily get out of the grip since his opponent had let rage dominate. He understood it well, the swelling of emotions that inhibits one's abilities only to allow more flaws to creep under the skin. He has been there more times than he could count.

"Ha...na…has two...verti...cal mole und...er her right...eye." he managed to choke out.

The grip lessen slightly as hazel eyes pins him down uttering, "How…" Zuko was released without her sentence finishing; her voice died unsure of how to continue. The emotions in her eyes swirled like a tempest. He could see the millions of thoughts passed through her mind.

But Zuko knew exactly what to say to get what he wants. "She was found with five other bodies underneath the palace garden four days ago."

 **"Liar."** A natural human defense mechanism; denial.

Zuko sighed. "Believe what you want. Whatever makes reality bearable."

The outrage was instant. "You're the last person I want to hear that from. You of all people will _never_ understand! Being born with a golden spoon, given everything and anything, yet you people who has it all still want more. I bet you never suffered a single day in your life!"

Zuko stared at the woman, expressionless. Suffering...suffering… _huh?_ The prince closed his eyes suppressing the memories of blood and disgrace before opening them to see a young woman breaking down from the harshness of society.

"You wouldn't understand what normal people, especially the _bastards_ of nobility has to do to survive. My mother was raped by a filthy nobleman before being abandoned with my older sister. You wouldn't know, but it's normal for the poor to forsake their children to live. Still I didn't need parents because my sister was my world." There was a pause as the woman stared blankly at the marble floor. "Why can't you people leave us alone? Why must we be killed for being born? Was our birth so _wrong_ for that nobleman to hired my master to get rid of us?" The assassin shut her eyes, "But worse, to have to live with your sister's killer… do you know how that felt? To trained and trained and _trained_ till starvation hits and revenge is the only thing keeping you alive - _you're telling me I killed my master for nothing?_ And that my sister became like my mum… _Are you kidding me!?"_ A bitter demented sound came out of her voice.

Zuko numbed himself while walking to the steel framed window to looked through the cage like pattern towards the night sky. With his back turned, he said, "That's right. I don't understand. What I do know is that your sister Hana was a maid assigned to the inner palace. This means she could not leave palace premises. I was told she believed there will come a day where she will be free to find you so you two could live together again."

The breeze cuts, "Liar… You'd chose me not because I was the best...it was because of my past."

"I didn't lie." He turned to face her, "You're the best because we have a common enemy." The wind blew harshly behind as crimson curtains whipped around him.

The assassin stood from her spot on the ground. She looked straight at him. The lighting of the moon made the cut on her face more prominent. It crinkled as she stated, "You're really something. Planning to murder the most powerful man in this country, no before that, wanting to kill your own father… _That's scary._ " She approached demandingly, "Before I give you my answer, _why him?"_

Zuko smiled his gentlest smile as he place a palm over his left eye, feeling a scar that wasn't there, he uttered, "I would say bad parenting, but it's better to say for world peace." He was surprised his voice didn't crack as his left shoulder scalded.

The assassin in front looked incredulous. "You can't be serious?"

He chuckled, still very unused to his high, childish voice. "If you only knew." He repressed the memories from resurfacing. He wanted to shut it all down, before it begins.

"Alright Prince. I'll give you a hand for my sister." She handed him a copper coin with a pressed character in its center.

"That character is written as Shiki for Time of Death, that's my name. This coin signify our contract. It'll help you contact me and if you show it to certain individuals within the underground markets, you'll be able to get deeper intel or personnel."

Zuko stared at it a little longer before placing it into his sleeve. "Thanks." He walked to his wardrobe and reached for the folded parchment inside the small panel behind the bottom left corner of the closet. He handed it to her and said, "I'll be using this coin as a seal to have Suzaku deliver further instructions to you later."

Shiki nodded as she placed the paper securely within a hidden pocket of her attire, "Speaking of the bird why hasn't it woken up from all this noise?"

Zuko stared into the distance and answered, "He's exhausted from what I put him through."

Her face seemed skeptical. "Well, whatever be seeing you around kid."

"Enough with the nicknames." He already had one person doing it, he didn't need another. The prince received a dismissive wave as Shiki stood on the balcony railings.

He watched as she jumped down to scale the walls getting smaller and unseen before he figured she'd slithered out and into the city below. Zuko released a long tired sigh very unlike a boy his age. Weariness sunk into his bones as he closed the windows and laid back on his large bed. He reached to grab the blade. Zuko clenched the pearl dagger tightly to his chest like a lifeline, squeezing his eyes to shut the world out, as he made himself as small as possible. He wants to be non-existent so that he didn't further poison everything he touches.

Shiki would come to regret not strangling him then. It would haunt her for the rest of eternity like how his mistakes clinged to him. Zuko had given her a choice, she was his last attempt at stopping himself. For she didn't know that what she had chosen was far worse than the nobility she hates.

Because he'd slip sleeping pills in Suzaku's food, fired all his guards, lied to exploit weakness in order to manipulate by using a dead person's name for his own ends. The woman Hana wouldn't even have a proper funeral. He has sunk deep to the point he feared he might be worse than Ozai, for his father did not kill Hana. The true culprit was under his care, safely hidden from the rest of the world.

Zuko hated himself since he knew he'd get away with it. And he would continue tomorrow and the next with a perfect smile until he crushed the guilt, discard the emotions until it numbs and he forgets its very existence. If sacrificing everything meant discarding himself along the way, he'd be willing to be absolute evil if it allowed him to achieve his dream...

Zuko understood he's far past the point of no return.

This would be the last time he cries. He promised.

* * *

The waning crescent in the night sky did not cast enough light to the dark entrance in front. It made Zhao squint, trying to peer into the abandoned cave on the outskirts of the Capital, which many residents of the Caldera dare not enter for fear of being spirited away. Of course, that was only to prevent unwanted visitors seeing as the advisor of the Fire Lord is personally inviting him in. This must mean the ghastly rumours were due to the fact that residents were disposed of for seeing something they weren't suppose to. Nothing unusual in this viper's nest.

"If you would follow me, Captain."

Well, this would be _fun._ Having welcomed the boy to dinner proved to be worthwhile. He would've _praised_ the child if the path to their destination wasn't so fetid to his nose. Zhao could stand the dank, musty air and the wetness that drips from above, but not the stench that only seemed to get more putrid as they weaved deeper into the stomach of the cave. The spill of blood and sweat mixed with burning flesh in the battlefield was far preferable than what was festering in this godforsaken place.

"What's this smell?" He couldn't stand it no more.

Advisor Kyou glanced back and simply answered, "You'll understand soon." Then continued marching at a faster pace.

Zhao remarked with a low grunt. _This better be worth it_ as he silently followed the youth _,_ or this kid might not see the lights of dawn. After all, this place is notorious for disappearances. It might even be rotting with stack of corpses right under their noses.

As if the entire area read his thoughts the cave opened up and Zhao is struck with the source of the smell and a sight to behold. Above him shone glowing red crystals embedded in thick rocks, while beneath him lay a large circular space with torches lining the glossy stone walls. He saw five men in white with strange contraptions each surrounding a massive rectangular table holding —

"Stairs are this way." He barely heard the voice since the next thing Zhao knew, he was already at the base of the cave being told by one of the men in white to wear something over his face, if he intended to get nearer.

As expected, if the rotting smell hadn't given it away, the rumours surrounding the cave or even the morbid thoughts he continuously had — Zhao didn't know what could be more obvious when deaths and decay stares him right in the face.

"What is this?" He demanded with clear repulsion.

"Exactly what you see. A decomposing body."

Zhao glared, he has no patience for this. He did not come all this way to be satisfied with five uncremated bodies. Judging from these bodies all consisting of their own special area, equipments, professionals and the Fire Nation latest technology in preserving decaying flesh — spoke volumes to Zhao.

"These corpses are those buried underneath the Royal Garden."

"Those that were found with Lady Ursa's body?" Zhao interjected. The event spread like wildfire across the nation. It was impossible not to hear it, especially, when the thrill and speculations were still very much alive even though a week has passed.

"Yes, those very exact ones." Kyou finished as one of the men in white handed the boy a parchment, probably containing the autopsy data of the body lay before them.

"I heard these bodies were cremated already. It was decree by the Fire Lord himself."

At this the youth's golden eyes sharpened as if they were awaiting for him to say exactly that. The smile on the boy's lips were as unpleasant as usual. It quirked him.

"That's the thing Captain. _They won't burn."_

"Explain." This might be more entertaining than court intrigues. A popular one was that Fire Lord Ozai has conveniently implied it before, but now blatantly frame his wife to be the proprietor of Azulon's death when her so-called body was discovered. Speculations say that to cover up the lies, the Fire Lord had even gone as far as withdrawing her funeral proceedings as a royal on basis of treason. This meant the body wouldn't be cremated in the Fire Temple, making him all the more curious as to the body's whereabouts. But the truth which everyone sought were whether if the body was actually Ursa.

Zhao only counted five bodies present and none appeared female. The gullible might have believed the glaring lies, but he knows the smart ones knew better. After all, since the discovery of these bodies beneath the garden, the cracks in Ozai's already fragile plot to win the throne rose. Zhao somehow was lucky enough to land himself in the midst of it. He can imagine Jian to be boiling with jealousy. How wonderful.

"It's better if you see for yourself." The advisor then proceeded to engulf the decomposing body with heated flames.

Zhao watched in astonishment as the bright orange fire spread but instantly dimmed to a dark purple then altogether faded.

"As you can see, my flames gets devoured. As do others."

The words were out of his mouth. "What's the cause?" _He just had to know!_

"That's why this place exists." A smirk flashed on the advisor's face.

"Not even theories?" He'll push until he extract everything this boy has.

"The theory is ludicrous. But I believe these bodies can absorb life itself." Indeed it was. But there is something in the youth's tone that Zhao couldn't decipher, which made it almost believable. He decided to remain silent to edge the boy on.

"If you don't have special equipments when handling them, you'd feel weary and weak as if all your energy has been taken. Merely touching will produce such results." The boy walked to the next body which was in pieces. Cut equally into parts to be dissect. Zhao could feel icy cold air bite his skin as he gazed upon the frozen limbs.

"We tried submerging one of these limbs into a tank of fishes. What do you think happened?" Zhao could feel the boy's eyes analyzing him — testing him.

Based on the theory, "They died."

The youth nodded in satisfaction. "The only way to dispose of them is by burial until they decompose. But even that proves challenging."

The teen walked to the next area, however this time, Zhao saw numerous small glass boxes with a variety of shrivelled plants and flowers than a body.

"As you can see, the plants are dead not even an hour in. So even if they're buried, decomposed or shredded completely, the place they're under will be a wasteland." The teen went and touched one of the withered flower, surprisingly at a single touch the plant crumbled to dust. Zhao stares with wide eyes before he heard, "And we only buried a head."

He commented, "Not only fast, but the unknown factor has extremely dangerous ranges in places with populated life?"

"Correct." Then he almost eagerly walked to the fourth body.

Zhao trailed behind assuming nothing could surprise him now. He was very wrong when the next sight made him very much cringe as bile flooded his mouth. On the table displayed the corpse encased inside a rectangular glass box with numerous spider rats squirming. He saw brightly lit candles strategically placed around the box as if to enhance the observation process. It was apparent the procedure of the experiment seeing as smaller species' corpses remained litter inside. The noises were terrible as the rats became more frantic in their escape as one after another starts wrinkling like raisins before they altogether stop. You could see them trying to avoid touching the body and some tried biting into the rotting flesh to instantly crinkle. The noises died as the last rat fell.

"The spider rats were inside for three hours. Animals depending on their sizes and species has a greater life force compared to most plants so it takes a longer time for the effects to take place."

Zhao eyed the youth cautiously, "What's the real purpose for all this?" He knew these meticulous testings weren't out of curiosity nor to waste money. There was always motive in such details and complexity.

Kyou however turned and walked to the next body. Zhao reluctantly followed as he scanned his surroundings for routes of escape. From the boy's behaviour, this might be more dangerous than initially thought. He was outnumbered and enclosed in a space of researchers. He shouldn't provoke the brat or he might find himself in one of these experiments.

When Zhao lay eyes on the last body fear slithered throughout his entire body. This… he might have stumbled on something terrifying. More so than thoughts of slaying the moon spirit.

"The Fire Lord found these bodies on the night of his father's death. With his circumstances, it's easy to establish motive, especially political ones." Zhao was amazed the boy could talk over all the panic pounding of glass.

"—Fire Lord Ozai had no choice but to bury these bodies. If these corpses were discovered even if he had no hand in it, it will still ruin his chances at the throne."

"What are you suggesting?"

The boy face him and states with unsmiling eyes, "These men killed Fire Lord Azulon with Lady Ursa's help. And karma came for them." Pause, "A monster that makes Azulon's killers saints lives in this world."

Zhao unknowing swallow a thick gulp of his saliva. He wished it was either karma or a spirit than having to know such a monster resided among them. Still he should be cautious of lesser monsters nearby. He did note the undiluted hatred when the youth spoke of the late Lady Ursa. That was something worth diving into later if he ever makes it out of here.

"Why are you telling me this?" He fake composure.

"It's because the Fire Lord wished for you to be one of his men."

"The Fire Lord…? Really?" Zhao could not believe his luck or this crazy revelation.

"Yes, I have recommended you."

This changed everything. The nobility thought the boy's time has ended with Azulon's death. It seemed the entire court was wrong in itself. That celebration where he assumed was Kyou's attempt at trying to gain allies since his position might be jeopardized was entirely misread. The situation was the complete opposite in fact. The kid was scouting for potential allies for the Fire Lord! Why hadn't he assumed so when Fire Lord Ozai valued Advisor's Kyou gift most of all? It was staring him right in the face and he missed it! This means his power in their relationship wasn't as favourable as he liked. The balance of power was reversed the whole time that it made Zhao's rage boiled. How the brat must've enjoyed the show at his dispense!

"Why?" was all he could manage in his turmoil thoughts. He had to salvage this somehow!

"Because you're different from other men, Captain."

He did not believe the words of a liar. Not one who has managed to gain the current Fire Lord's favour so quickly.

"And what is my role in all this?"

"You'll be invited to the palace tomorrow by command of the Fire Lord. In front of the court you'll be appointed as the Captain in charge of investigating the six mysterious deaths buried beneath the Royal Garden."

"A false investigation to ease the masses I presume?" After all, the Crown Prince did ruin his father's plans and made the bodies publicized when the Fire Lord had other plans, probably along the lines of discreetly digging the corpses up so as to study them after his coronation. It would've been less messy if the plan had followed through so people wouldn't be able to question Ozai's reign. It made him giddy. Father and son already at each other's throats prove to be great source of entertainment. However, the real issue lay within their relationship and how much intel the Crown Prince really had. After all, information is power and power is achieved through people's willingness to follow. The question is, who held the most control in this power struggle? From his last interaction with the prince, the boy did prove himself promising.

"Exactly. And of course to protect this little secret of ours."

It seemed the Fire Lord's trust lay more in this young advisor than his own son. How interesting, he could exploit this. "What plans does his Lordship have with these bodies?"

There was a hum. "You're quite curious Captain." The youth approached the sealed glass cage with the frantically screaming, pounding, _aging_ prisoner inside. He turned with a wicked smile, "Don't you know curiosity kills the cat?"

"If I'm truly to become one of the Fire Lord's limbs, don't I have the right to know?"

"A limb only needs to follow the head without question." The advisor remarked.

Zhao bit back, "I'm unlike other limbs remember? Even limbs have reason for their purpose just like how men needs purpose to remain loyal to the clause." He solidify his posture and straightened his back to declare, "I'm the type of person who needs his reasons for dying."

The teen laughed then answered, "As you wish. But some things are better left unsaid in my opinion."

 _"I am no child, Advisor."_ Zhao was getting very impatient. This kid thinks he's wiser than someone more than half his age. The treatment was degrading and if the boy wasn't in such a favourable position with the Fire Lord, Zhao would have burnt him to oblivion by now.

A faded amusement before, "These bodies are the source for developing a weapon of mass destruction."

Zhao's eyes widened like saucers, dumbfounded. "A... _gas_ bomb…" It was as clear as day now. The reason for the aging prisoner within the concealment tank. And the vile purple smoke consuming within. It finally clicked with all the experiments he witnessed and all the info he'd been given. Zhao could only think of one place in the world that's filled with life, it's lands flourishingly green, while being the most populated with millions of people wrapped neatly within walls.

"The possibilities are endless. With this, conquering Ba Sing Se within the year won't be a pipe dream. No, the world will have to submit to the Fire Nation for we will be the one controlling the supplies of food and water."

There was an insane glow in the teen's eyes and Zhao unconsciously took a step back. If this proved to be successful in mass production, the world would succumb to madness. And Zhao has no appetite to become legendary when there was no world to rule. He needed to find a way out or he wouldn't become anything. The circling thoughts of this never ending scared him. Even at the top, that man, this nation newly crowned King still desired more. Zhao truly considered he has met his match...no, not unless he stops this! Distraction. He needed to buy time.

"Wasn't there a sixth body?" Ursa's body. From what he acquired in their conversation, the boy's voice sharpened with every mention of her name.

As predicted Kyou's eyes became eerie. "It's none of your concern." There was an uncomfortable edge in his tone.

As if nothing happened, the teen's face became a perfect smile once again. That creepy smiling mask so similar to Princess Azula vanished like smoke. How similar their smiles are made him doubt his abilities.

As if reading his thoughts the youth strike, "Now you know the reason. _Betrayal isn't an option."_

All that rang in Zhao's mind was the thought of his beheading.

* * *

It was called the _Electric Chair,_ a demeaning title for a Fire Lord that has been robbed of his throne. A torture device made entirely of silver, for silver was the most conductive of all metals allowing his muscle and mind to spazzed and shattered splendidly. It was appalling, but without it Zuko wouldn't have the ridiculous notion of making pure silver swords. It was also the reason why he came to understand the foundation of lighting bending. After all, he was constantly electrocuted with the element to the point he build a resistance that helps him control the energy inside without the necessary movements to generate it.

"Prince Zuko, I have met my end. Now tell me your reasoning in having these swords crafted."

They were certainly beautifully forged. The reason why he hadn't received these swords until now were due to the designs he desired. As instructed, one sword was long and straight, being a double edge chokuto, while the other was a wakizashi, shorter and slightly curved. The hilt were made of conductive black leather which covers the silver metal base. Zuko then examined the wakizashi hilt. The base of the hilt has a hook like dragon head which he eagerly pulls. Silver metal wires came out crystal clear like spider silk. His grin couldn't get any wider. His master must have had a tough time integrating these wires into the interior of the wakizashi hilt. The curiosity must be eating his Sifu alive since he didn't ask for the original design of the dual blades, but instead requested these unpractical forms.

"These are my finest work." The man added proudly.

As expected of Piandao, his teacher went beyond his expectations. Both of the swords were masterfully made. He felt their individual weight in his hands and like their sharpness, he smirk, "Allow me to demonstrate Sifu."

Within the thick acres of trees, Zuko inhaled deeply before diving straight into the large boulder in front, jumped then did a mid-air twirl while feeling the electricity generating through him and into his blades. The prince smirked, crashing down into the bolder with his two swords parallel to each other going down in a diagonal slash.

He heard a gasp from Piandao. His Sifu must've thought he was foolish enough to not heed the warning since silver blades will even bent at slicing human bones, much less last against a rock. But Zuko was confident as lightning pulse through him and the electrical circuits sparking in his blades.

At his landing a huge part of the boulder behind starts it's diagonal descend to the ground. Zuko turns with a wide grin as he saw a rock bigger than himself now cleanly sliced in half like butter. Behind the smooth surface rock was his master with a gasping mouth and eyes enlarge in amazement.

"How…what... _How?_ " Zuko heard his Sifu mumble flabbergasted.

He expertly sheath his two blades before answering, "I'm able to cut anything by using lightning to pass through the silver in order to make vibrations."

"...you're able to bend lightning?"

Zuko meekly nodded. Maybe he made the wrong decision in allowing Piandao to know… But the man did deserve it and Zuko was slightly happy to know someone was on his side for once. These poisonous walls doesn't aid paranoia after all.

"That's remarkable! My disciple is a genius!"

His cheeks flash deep crimson. No one has ever told him that, making it seems unbelievable since Azula was always the remarkable one, the genius in the family and the apple in everyone's eyes. He'd never dare to consider himself anywhere near her level so the complement came completely unexpected.

"I'm not anything...special." It was true, he wasn't anything exceptional since anyone could've figured it out if they stayed in _that chair_ for as long as he had. The truly gifted are ones like his friends and… his sister…

"Prince Zuko, no need for modesty between us. I only say these things to people who I find truly deserving of the praise."

"I… I don't know what to say…" He finally admitted awkwardly, scratching the back of his head to ease the conflicting emotions inside. Zuko rarely got praised, even as a prince and especially during his childhood. Everyone always fluttered to Azula. The only praises he received were from his mother and she never did praise him for his skills. Even the time spend with his uncle being castaway on icy wastelands as a banished prince, Zuko never received words that shows appreciation for his efforts or how proud the man was with his improvements. All he got was next time and patience as comfort. Even then, Zuko could tell in Iroh's tired eyes the differences in abilities to one's gazing upon his sister. So Zuko never considered himself as anything special. Remarkable, exceptional, prodigy or genius are never words associated with him; it never existed in his world.

"You don't need to say anything. Your expression said it all." His Sifu smiled proudly at him as he rubs his head as a form of expressing affection like how his mother used to. "That's enough to prove to me you'd worked hard. Well done son."

Zuko tried to hold himself together. He stood still letting the man pat his head as he forced the tears down. Something just happened to be in his eyes making his vision blurry that's all. He chants obsessively so he doesn't break down. He promised himself not to cry, so he wouldn't. He blinks the wetness away as he gouge his sight to the grass below. Since Zuko could remember, everyone demanded that he should work harder, be better, stronger, wiser than he was.

No one ever told him he'd done enough, he should rest, or acknowledge he too was a person and not a prince or a Fire Lord. All his life, he tried to meet their expectations. For his parents, for his uncle and for his people. Yet, in the end it was never enough for Mai...his son…his father… his uncle nor his sister. No matter what he does it was never enough, he failed his nation and sadly Zuko knew he has failed his mother. From the beginning she didn't trust him enough to show him her pain or ask for his help. It has always teared at him, since the night of her disappearance, the thought has haunt him since, for even his mother doesn't think he was good enough…

Failures was all he knew.

But it was strange to not be recognized through his titles, his lineage or achievements in the war. Stripped of everything he was just Zuko. And Zuko has finally been seen for his idea and skills; a boy who everyone considered talentless has made himself known for once. He remembered from the innocent years of his childhood sitting down with his mother and sister. He recalled his mother reading them a fairytale about a boy who was saved by the kindness of words. The story is long forgotten but what remained were the lessons. Almost religiously Ursa preaches: Words can be harmful, deadly and scarring, but when used at the right moment, they can be a saving grace.

A tear slipped pass his icy facade. "Why now…? Why...couldn't it come sooner?" He never heard his voice so weak, small, _timid._ It was very unlike him. His eyes were still downcast as he held a bitter smile. If only those words were said to him sooner...surely he would've been saved. But the words weren't said, he wasn't saved and now he can't turn back. So why did it come now?

"Prince Zuko?" Piandao asked in concern.

Zuko closed his eyes and steel himself. He puts on that effortless smile and look up at his Sifu. "Thank you. But I have a long ways to go before it's enough." _Before I can stop and rest._

His teacher looked confused, but the man still held that confidence to say, "It's good to have goals, but along the way make sure you rest and enjoy the beauty of life."

Zuko kept his silence as he clenched the swords in his hands. This man was very much like his uncle. And Zuko was scared this person saw him as a son. He feared he'll disappoint them in the future. He'll fail the people who saw potential in him. Surely they would come to despise the person he resolved himself to become. But he thinks it will be worth it for knowing the world he'll create will be the world they desired.

"Prince Zuko," his Sifu started placidly, "You haven't told me the purpose of these swords."

Zuko stared at the golden dragon forged onto the scarlet scabbard and said, "I must have fangs to reach my goals." He looks up at Piandao, "And to honor my promise to you."

His master did not say anything because the man's eyes are like portals to his soul. They reflected concern which manifested into disagreement, making it clear that this man would try to stop him. And it was sad knowing they could never meet eye to eye if his Sifu denies him of this.

Still, Zuko considered himself to be lenient. If he doesn't use these swords, then he must use his _fire_...and that's the last thing he wanted to do. The reason was simple. Every time he bends nothing but cold dark fire burned. He couldn't change the color of his fire back to their original form. The black flames emitted no heat, yet it drained the life out of the object it burns. It's not an exaggeration to say he is poison to everything he touches. But worse is that it cannot be extinguish without him forcing it out. The flowers in the vase made him realized that the energy it drains goes to him… The flow of energy was more frightening than when lightning entered, as if the influence of the Serpent inside grows with the flames.

Although he tried to contain it completely, energy still piled inside him. It was odd since he hasn't allowed himself to bend. Compared to his old fire, this flame was harder to contain. Its power ruthless to control to the extent Zuko finds it necessary to make these swords act as an output before he combust. They were alternatives to release the energy and a means to not use his fire. To think a firebender has to restrict himself from bending. All Firebenders would ridicule him while he just wanted to cry for he desperately yearn to feel alive again. But there is a price. Using the fire would be calling upon the Serpent's power. Zuko is well experienced with borrowed powers, since most do stab him in the back after. He learned to not confuse borrowed power, with his own abilities.

"My prince I intend these swords to be gifts, not weapons to harm." His teacher finalized. There was no room for argument. "If you can promise not to use them as such, I will continue to act as your Sifu. However…"

It was not necessary for his teacher to finish since the threat was made clear. Even when the person himself knew best that these swords can do more than childish actions like injuring the opponent. But his Sifu does it out of concern and Zuko appreciates the gesture.

The prince flashed his best smile. "I understand." As long as he used these blades for self-defense, it shouldn't matter whom he harm.

* * *

 _His chain rattles to a hysterical beat every time he sees the_ traitor _. Burning steel on his wrists and ankles prevented him from slaughtering the person to oblivion. His mind only sees blood as it loses all logic. Before he realized, Zuko became a puppet Fire Lord, and now a political war prisoner. He thinks he's in control, but control always escapes him._

" _You will be burnt at the stake by dusk." It was politely said. "To the dying devoured of sins, there is only comfort in confessions. Now is that time my lord." It was satirical at best. How fake the formalities screamed._

 _His chains rattles. "Spare me your sermon." Instead of the intimidating edge he desired, it came out pathetic and drained. "Go prepare your people for my execution." Even though he's weak; body chained like an animal infested with disease caused by his untended burns and scars, Zuko still has a mind of a ruler. He shall yield to no one, especially to the leader of the Liberation Republic. A person he'd considered a friend in the past toss him to the wolves. The evil whom conspired ended up succeeding. The world is unjust._

" _I'll confess to Agni when I see him." Zuko glared with eyes of defiance, "Not to you, or anyone else."_

" _I have served your grandfather, your father and now you as an advisor of this Great Nation. As a last advice Fire Lord Zuko, it is best for you to confess all the wrongs you brought to the world. Sins does clings like a legacy after all." It was declared coldly calculated._

 _Zuko could not believe this person's arrogance. "Kyou, have you forgotten? You're a traitor, and a traitor does not have the rights to advise me, much less shows false display of_ _righteous_ _loyalty to ease your selfish conscious." This man had shown no mercy in this methods of torture, or allowed him a moment of rest, and now the traitor wants a confession? That will be the last thing Zuko will give. This person already has had the pleasure of taking everything he was; evil won and he has no choice but to relent. All Zuko desires now is to spend his last moment in peace, but this demon won't stop until he is strip bare._

" _Why do you still resist?"_

 _The words were a slap in the face. "After what you put me through, I'll spit you till the very end." Sweat lined his brow at the frustration of not being able to do anything. The very person who destroyed everything he'd built upon stood a meter away and Zuko couldn't lift a finger..._

"The faults lies with you _. And it will end with you."_

"YOU BASTARD!" _Zuko roared as he ran in outrage to strangle the person in front but the chains force him backwards. They rattled to a deafening beat as his wrists and ankles bled. "You dare utter such nonsense when we both know you played a large part in the colonies' rebellion! You who assented inhumane sanctions, starved the colonies of their resources through the enforcement of ridiculous policies behind my back together with the rotten nobility,_ _now wants me to confess to your sins!? You_ _allowed the colonies to foster their years of discontentment for the homeland_ — _you started this mess!" He tried again to reach the traitor, but again it remained in vain. "The nobility got what they deserved and now you're the people's saviour. You have me as your scapegoat, what more do you want?"_

 _The man took out a scroll._ _"A verbal confession and a signature."_

 _Zuko snarled,_ "Never." _Then tries spiting on the man's expensive shoes. Unfortunately it didn't reach like how everything he does never reaches._

" _You're our Fire Lord, you hold all blame for our actions. You influence what we'll do next. It's up to you what becomes of your son." All formalities were dropped in speech._

 _Zuko laughs and laughs, he can't seem to stop. Until his throat crack and bleed he doesn't stop as his eyes glinted in the dim light. Hilarious bastard._

" _ **If you lay a hand on him,"**_ _Zuko growled,_ " _ **I'll fucking**_ **murder** _**you."**_

" _You'd said the same thing when I informed you of your mother's whereabouts, when I captured your sister and when I took over your throne."_

 _The advisor came closer and drawled, "Your face was priceless when you realized I was the one preventing the Council of Five from taking action. It was quite easy persuading them to stall and abandon you. So please_ do _come up with a better threat_ my lord."

 _He saw red and wish to smell the putrid stench of burning flesh. He desperately tried to use his dragon's breath, he tried forcing it out with his raw screams until he could scream no more. All his efforts were in vain. Everything … everything he worked to protect falls out of his grip like ashes. His castle was built on pillars of ashes. He was never good enough to hold it altogether._

" _Your faith seems to have caught up in flames. How pitiful." The traitor mocked when Zuko's coughing fits died down. Breathing unsteady with blood splattered on dirty concrete._

" _And you...flamed a civil...war in...your...homeland…thousands are...caught...up in th...e fi..re...yo..u cau..sed..." Zuko tried to choked out. His voice entirely lost and energy drained. Body crumbled in lifelessness as the disease and his blocked chi eats at him with past tortured wounds throbbing in pain. They were never properly healed like how his past looms over him._

 _The cold chill of chains rattles around his wrists as he hears cruel laughter resounds in the small dirty prison of a backwater village set out to be his execution grounds. His eyes sunken, the purpose for it was simple because even if his friends managed to recuse him, Zuko understood the condition of his body. It was too late for him and he hated how that traitor knew it best out of everyone._

 _Silence engulfed them. Then quieter than a whisper, "…if only you never existed…" Zuko heard it nonetheless. He sees the burning fire in the traitor's eyes numb into icy steel. "You never learned even though you were given everything." There was a flicker of a rueful smile before it manifest to a mocking sneer._

" _Remember this well Zuko." The man inhale deeply before releasing, "The world is twisted. What is right, what is wrong are based on perspective of individual circumstances. Who I am and what I do are fundamentally different."_

 _Zuko rasped out, "That...cannot...justify…what you ha...ve... done…"_

 _The advisor looks down in distaste. "I merely speed up the process. You invited dissent because you showed weakness as a sovereign in a nation that blames you for their state. Civil unrest was bound to happen." The air became oppressive, "It's not I who is the traitor. It is_ you _who cause our nation to lose the war. What sort of people would follow a king who forsakes their homeland once?"_

 _Zuko soundlessly scream and scream and scream covering both ears, shutting his eyes and clogging his mind._ **Lies lies lies!**

"Y _ou never were good at seeing because you only see what you want to see. You were always surrounded by beautiful things, leading you to believe in human goodness. That was the last thing you should've done in a court of maggots. You brought this upon yourself."_

 _Zuko flashed a hateful glare. He doesn't even have the energy to rebuke much less maintain to steady his breathing. He felt suffocated because somewhere inside there are truths upon the lies the man preaches._

" _You think you've suffered? You haven't nearly suffered enough." Zuko looked into the traitor's molten gold so familiar to Ozai_ _. They resembled each other to a frightening extent. The hate and ambition were exact parallels that a crazy notion strikes like lightning._

 _Zuko thought he had finally lost his mind. The giggling as he trembled became uncontrollable. The bubbling of a sick, twisted joy blurst and he mouthed, 'Aren't you the lucky one. You don't have to be known as that person's son.' As long as he gotten the last words he doesn't mind shortening his lifespan. What good was it if he wasn't in control._

 _He immediately felt his body lifted by the throat. The familiar sensation of scalding heat bruised and scarred his body. He became numb to pain, yet the opposite could be said to exhilaration. It has been a long time since he has a rush of anything other than hate. Even at this stage of the game, secrets concerning his family are abundant._

" _You're not worth a confession from. I'll sign it myself."_

 _The face of the traitor merit all the dark swirling thoughts boiling inside._

"...a fa...ke... _Jealou...sy is... unbe...com..ing." Zuko rasped out with mocking eyes before everything faded black._

Zuko open his eyes at the memories and instead of the small rotting prison cell he was under, he sees marble floors outside the grand manor decorated in rich tapestries for the occasion. Nobles surrounds him in expensive silken robes, lavish jewels, fake pleasantries and painted faces. The glow of the lantern lights cast a soothing atmosphere to the elegant outdoor evening celebration. He looks up at the empty sky. It was a rarity to host a party on the night of a new moon where darkness grows strongest. But knowing the host of the party, Zuko wouldn't pass the man for his love of dramatics.

"Prince Zuko, I am overjoyed you could be present at my humble abode." The large estate was anything but humble.

Zuko could not have refused even if he wanted to. Not now when the man held one of the most powerful position in the empire, "Congratulations on your promotion Advisor Kyou." Ozai has made the man left advisor. One of the two position that all twelve advisors kill for. The position commands all international affairs of the nation, but most importantly regulates policies directly to the Fire Lord. While the right advisor deals with external affairs and the separate governance of the nation's military.

Zuko found himself lucky to be wearing the scarlet mask. He feared this face would give plenty away if he didn't have it. It's impossible to maintain his usual composure when this man is near.

"Indeed. It is thanks to your honourable Father to bestow such a great title to someone as young and inexperienced as me."

Zuko glance up at the young advisor perturbed at his appearance. It disturbed him how much the advisor resembles him at sixteen to the extent of being identical. If not for the darker slit eyes and the thicker layers of hair, Zuko would've thought he was talking to his future self.

"Age does not matter in this world. In this country a Fire Lord can be sixteen."

There is tension in the air before the advisor cuts through with, "Let us hope that will not be the case. Someone that young should not be burdened with a nation." Zuko stares into the man's eyes. Kyou appeared unfazed as he certain, "Your Father's reign will last long and prosperous."

Zuko stared off into the far distance. He too thought he started too young, naive and hopeful. He was ignorant to think he could bear the weight of a nation suffering from war reparations, a court endless lust for greed and political adversaries seeking his crown. Nothing came easy for him so why did he expect anything different when he became Fire Lord?

"You seem assured." It was spoken with a hint of envy.

"That is only natural." The teen stare him down, "Aren't you?"

Zuko clench his fist till it was knuckled white, "We'll have to see."

Suddenly giggles came from behind. Zuko glance at the source to see the numerous court ladies eager to catch the demon's attention. These ladies provided him the perfect excuse to get away. "I will be taking my leave. I cannot be taking all of your time." He went not caring for the man's reply.

Zuko did not venture far when Zhao stopped him at one of the numerous banquet tables. To his _utter joy,_ the man was with Azula.

"Hello Brother dearest." Her smile was the usual. "About time you change your hairstyle."

Zhao affirmed, "Princess you must have heard your brother's popularity in the nation. His style is said to be the new fashion."

Azula laughs, "You have quite the humour, Captain."

"No, I only state the facts." The man bow humbly.

Zuko ignores her and opted to focus on Zhao. With fake pleasantry he praised, "I heard of your success in the Savage Garden investigation."

"Well, as successful as the gruesome nature it brought."

"No culprits yet?" Steering the conversation came natural to him, it should after years of practice. It was a minimum requirement to get a footing in the intricacies of the court.

"On the contrary. We are narrowing down the suspects as we speak." The man grins.

This made his mind sharpen. Zuko was about to inquire the list of suspects when his sister interceded, "How boring Brother. Abandon the political talk for tonight."

Zhao agreed, "The princess is right Prince Zuko. Tonight is a special occasion."

He seriously doubt the anticipated announcement from the Fire Lord would bring anything good. Rather he dread it. Thankfully the mask conceal it all.

"Do you happen to know Azula?" He questioned because surely Ozai would allow her to know.

"I'm as clueless as everyone else. Father meant it to be a surprise." Her voice rings true. If she knew her smile would be sly and tone teasing.

It had him worried when Azula doesn't know. Ozai doesn't do surprises. Especially when his last surprise was to invade the Earth Kingdom and burn it to a crisp. This could only spell trouble.

"It must be a grand surprise if the children of the Fire Lord were not informed." Zhao commented as he takes a sip of his fire wine, eyes calculative. "But it seems we do not have to be curious for long." His words points to the entrance as the announcement of the Fire Lord's arrival was made.

People crowded around the man in greetings. Zuko observed his father walk up to the extravagant podium decorated specifically for this event. Nobles gathered to their seats. Zuko waved Zhao farewell only because it was a required formality before he went to his assigned seat with Azula in tow.

"Do you really not know?" He needed to be certain since the unease was eating at him.

Azula rolled her eyes. "Yes Dumdum. I would have taunted you with it by now." She glanced back, "If you'd stop wasting time and get to your seat maybe you'll know sooner." Her tone was condescending as always, but there was fondness in them. Azula smirked before she quicken her pace to the front of the tables lined with glowing lights and scarlet lilies.

Zuko could not help but smile as he followed after her in a light jog. The Fire Lord's table lay vertical to the podium. It was brimmed with food and wine from across the world. There were intricate golden trim napkins embroidered with names on each porcelain plate. Zuko took his seat across from his sister. What soured his mood was when he saw the cursive character beside Azula's plate. Displeasure was an understatement when the man he wanted dead sat beside her. A bitterness erupted in his mouth, he bit on his lips to force this body to remain civil as Ozai began his speech.

"My fellow countrymen, we are living in a time of prosperity. As a united nation, we the chosen ones should share our wealth with the rest of the world."

Zuko rolled his eyes. Of course, to control the masses pulling the heartstrings of patriotism is ideal.

"My father regretfully died having not realized this dream of our late forefather, Great Fire Lord Sozin. I, son of Fire Lord Azulon and Fire Lady llah, rightful heir to the Dragon Throne will carry out their wishes."

Second is to make yourself a solution to the problem. A hero to the people. The idea is powerful when people believe it's true.

"I will free the citizens of Ba Sing Se and crush the oppression of the Great Walls." The Fire Lord reach out and clench his palm raising it high in the air as cheers ran rampage.

"Our forces will marched upon Earth Kingdom soil and we will blaze their walls to the ground! We shall be their saviour!"

The deafening applause made Zuko sick to his stomach. He had no choice but to blur out the rest or he would do something crazy as the speech intensifies.

"The point where my brother Iroh has failed, I shall succeed —"

Zuko felt a tap to his right knee beneath the table. Something was sipped into his palm.

"Our goal is in sight because of Advisor Kyou's great discovery. He is worthy of being my left advisor and I welcome him as my own."

Contrasting his skin was a green clover. Zuko flashed a smirk unlike any other. A fire spark inside. Shiki has done her part.

Zuko felt relaxed even when he was surrounded by his enemies. Those who betrayed him and those who did nothing to prevent it. His eyes land on Kyou as the man met his eyes with a polite smile. The very person who became the mastermind to all his miseries... The prince made sure his smile reaches his eyes. _Watch as I tear you and this nest of vipers apart._

"Thereby, I announce my daughter Azula's engagement to my left advisor, Kyou."

It was instant. The clover in his palm twisted black and what remained were ashes dyed red dripping from his grip. The sounds of chain howled in his ears making the _sickness_ in his stomach worse. He knows it well.

For this sickness has a name.

It is called, despair.

* * *

 **Author's note:** There is another meaning in why Zuko wanted a sword made by Piandao. It pulls on the emotional strings in which, Zuko wanted to be recognized as Piandao's disciple. There is a difference between a student Piandao acknowledges than a child whose parent force a master that's unwilling to teach.

Hope this chapter makes up for the long delay. **R &R for a faster update!**

Until next time when shit really hits the fan! XD


	7. Bouquet of Lies

LAST SCENE RECAP: In Zuko's past life, he was betrayed and framed by his left advisor and was made to rot in prison until his execution. Zuko decided to sacrifice his remaining life for his son who he believed to be held hostage. Before he fainted due to Kyou's wraith, Zuko came to a realization that Kyou's unconditional hatred for him stemmed from Zuko being given everything as Ozai's "only" son, but Zuko forsaken it for the Avatar, while Kyou suffered being Ozai's bastard.

The flashback ends with Zuko opening his eyes in the past to Kyou's celebration party of his promotion. At the party Zuko worries about Ozai's surprise announcement, because it never happened in his timeline. The unknown variable might hinder his plans. What Zuko doesn't know is that this was made possible due to Kyou discovering the purple flames from the bodies underneath Ursa's garden.

The chapter ends with Ozai announcing Azula's engagement to Kyou, his newly appointed left advisor.

Disclaimer: I don't own A:TLA.

* * *

Chapter 6: Bouquet of Lies

All his life he was taught to serve his nation. It was the best way to honor himself and his family. Without questions, he followed the path set out for him. He couldn't say he was born talented because achieving good grades just meant he had studied hard enough. Firebending, however, was another story. No matter the effort one exerted, if one was not born with talent, it was only possible to be mediocre at best. Still, it was an accomplishment in itself to be born with the ability to breath fire, for it guaranteed one's recruitment into the Nation's Imperial Army. Luckily, he was quick on his feet, which meant a fast promotion.

After all, in the Fire Nation every boy who reached their Coming of Age Ceremony strived to join the Imperial Army. It was the path that was set for every child of fire. If one wasn't recruited, one wasn't recognized as a man worthy enough to serve his nation. Getting into the Imperial Army was a deciding factor of whether one is able to prove ability or be condemned with a life of humiliation. Every man desired to make something of himself and he was no different. He never believed what he did was wrong, rather people praised him, admired him for what _could've been_ wrong. So, of course he felt no guilt, but rather prideful fulfillment serving his homeland.

Nevertheless, even to someone like him who wasn't very smart and preferred to be a follower rather than a leader, knew there was a line that should not be crossed. But orders from above and especially from the Crown, made it impossible to defy.

Every time, screams resounded. Accusations, pleads and chaos ensued after. Family; children and elderly, women and pets were thrown from their homes and now hidden spaces on cargo ships. They were beaten, abused for any hint of resistance to be dragged to the deck in the dead of night. It was a purge. It stemmed from the Capital, this sickness known as terror caused the spread for vengeance. It is an infection of the incurable kind.

It was the same. Only their faces varied; some bruised while others sheet white shivered in confusion and terrified at their wit's ends crying and praying to be spared. None were given the pleasure as his commanding officer dictated, "Burn them alive. Leave no survivors."

He looked away as another woman tried to escape carrying her small baby as her husband acted as a shield to buy time. Instead she barely made it a few steps before she was treated like a target practice by Captain Zhao. Her husband screamed in despair as his wife and child was thrown off deck, all the while knowing his sacrifice became meaningless, his eyes sunk into a mixture of rage and resentment. He too, was kicked back into the cluster of hideaways and like many before him, the man did not go without a fight and now he lay bleeding.

Other women — no, _mothers_ after bare witnessing the sight changed their attempts. They now begged for their children to be spared disregarding their own life as they eagerly forced their youngest into the Captain's arms, but their pleas went unheard. The man stood his ground and affirmed, _"No survivors."_ Tone harsh and frigid. The twisted silence after made humanity ceased to exist in the salty breeze and only accusation and hatred swirled in the murky mass hidden in the darkness of night and sea.

He witnessed many horrifying things during the 100 years war, through various battlefields in all his years serving the fatherland, but this was a madness much crueler than any battles he faced. It was far scarier to know that he was just another gear in its working. The fuel that drove the madness stemmed from obligation and duty. It was nurtured since birth. He couldn't defy what he was taught all his life — but more than that, he was terrified his loved ones would be next if he didn't obey the command.

He was balancing on a tightrope. Although he didn't know these people, he knew they were civilians he had pledged himself to protect. He did know that these soldiers in full armour and masks were his comrades and that they were all good men who has families to protect and who, like him wanted to serve their country faithfully. So really, there was no choice — he was only given an illusion of freewill. If he didn't do as told, it would be his death and those he loves. The cycle is endless and the purge unstoppable... Hope is like finding the culprit behind the living disaster — ashes in the wind.

He wasn't sure how he felt when he released his fire like many of the comrades beside him, they all aimed at the cluster of people they'd sworn to protect. Still, he was certain of one thing with the deafening sounds of screams and brightly lit flames in the darkness of night. It spoke to him, heralding like the voice of revelation. The world went mad long ago. _It had just finally caught flames within the Fire Nation…_

For these people, their only crime was being tied by blood to the offenders — the servants who served at that bloody banquet. The night that came to be known as _The_ _Last Supper_ — the biggest poison plot in Fire Nation history.

* * *

She looks at the sleeping boy with solemn eyes, then to the man carrying the child. His eyes gleam purpose. Her frown only deepens. The boy's future looked bleak. The world had grown ugly for adults to use children as pawns in their wars.

"He's the last one." The baritone voice confirms her suspicions. With the current world, no news is ever good unless the Avatar has miraculously raised from the dead.

"Please follow me." She did not wait for the admiral's reply before leading him into the deepest parts of the villa. At the very corner of the narrow corridor, she slid the _shoji_ door aside, displaying an organized, dusty storage room. She ventured into the small space with effortless grace to open a large chest filled with various supplies. She reached deep into the right inner corner of the chest until she felt the slightest indentation. She added pressure into her two fingers and the large chest seamlessly lifts upwards. From the darkness of the pit a voice rang, _"You're late."_

She knew the comment was not directed at her but at her companion. She continued her walk down the stairs while the man simply held a cold composure behind her. At the bottom, a group of three men sat on cushions in a circle with lanterns lighting the enclosed space.

"So he's the one, huh." The tone was weary and the owner, stern.

" _He's the only one."_ The admiral corrected moving across the tatami room.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Another spat sardonically. "That bastard actually got a royal decree to have every cargo ships leaving to the colonies, inspected! The bastard got balls to dare cross his station!"

The last man with hazel slit eyes seethed in."A person that rose that fast to their position is married to their job, Itsuki. If anything, Zhao's _dangerous_." They all knew what is so ingrained in them to blame the man when they themselves are moving against the Crown. Still the indication was clear; Zhao should be eliminated.

"The man held the Fire Lord's favour."

"Not for long if he doesn't have a face to Lady Ursa's supposed murder."

"He doesn't need to when he executed the families associated with treason! All our efforts, gone! Cremated like the rest of the blackened bodies on Fire Nation soil." The man must've seen more than he lets on. The allusion must be to the message the Fire Lord had displayed at the Capital's main gate — _black holes_ for the piles of cremated bodies of the servants stationed at the Last Supper. It's one thing to hear what's happening, it's another entirely to see it in person.

Shiori remained silent watching the admiral lay the boy down on the futon in the other room. He came back escorting her to her seat. As soon as she sat down and level each men a stare they remembered themselves and tension thickened the air.

The admiral sliced through the silence with, "I have to apologize for my incompetent. The plan has failed due to my carelessness." He then bowed deeply to the group.

She did not look at him as she poured the hot tea into a clay cup and gracefully offered him the drink.

"I find a warm cup of tea helps calm the mind, after your perilous week of hard work."

The admiral took a sip and gratefully responded, "Your kindness is my blessing."

She replied with a smile, as she started pouring each man a drink and then took a sip from her own cup. The jasmine tea from her old friend soothed her mind. There were not many things she regretted in life, but perhaps her biggest regret was not taking action sooner. If she did, maybe things wouldn't have gotten to this point. Where her nation is waging war against the world and now flaming a civil war of its own. Only fear will blossom from this chaos. That is never a good sign for terrible things are born from such trepidation.

"Gentlemen, we must recognized there is accomplishment in saving a life instead of none." Her voice stay steady and strong.

There is a chuckle beside her. "Did I say something wrong, Admiral Jian?"

"Everything Lady Shiori. _Everything._ You weren't there when I discovered the boy underneath his mother's burnt corpse. You didn't see the look in his eyes. You don't know how dead he is inside." His eyes shone bitterment.

"You speak as if you pity the child. Are you regretting saving the child's life?" Shiori finally turns to place a level stare at the man beside her. The man she married is no such coward.

"No, what I spoke of is potential." Jian finished his tea before stating, "The child is the _only_ survivor behind the event of the Last Supper. With enough training, he'll be ideal to be the Crown Prince's personal valet."

"That's true. The position is unwanted if he cannot become Fire Lord." Confirms another.

No one admitted it, for it might be a reality. It is best left unmentioned and out of mind. Since all these deaths would have been senseless if the mastermind still lived. However, it loomed in the air — the uneasiness that the person who created this chaos still lingered in the shadows. The feeling clings like a cold — _things are only_ _beginning_ — the thought chilled her to the core.

"Indeed…" She heard advisor Itsuki contemplate, "If the boy has given up on life then fearing death and potential risks are pointless. He's an asset around Zuko's age..."

General Wang adds, "And due to the Last Supper causing the prince his current predicament, Zuko _needs_ a personal attendant. In the near future we _won't_ have such an opportunity! We should strike while the iron is hot." The implication was clear — it would be much harder to have their own spy roaming the palace after this incident — currently the Capital and especially the Royal Palace was heavily guarded; no one can enter or leave unless they have the Emblem of Passage distributed by the Court.

"If Lady Shiori gives her consent, then we can leave the boy's training to me." Nagato, one of Azulon's elite spy finalized. All the men in the room had expressions that left no room for objections. Shiori was not one to bent to the wills of men, no matter their position or power, however, the desperate situation of her country called her to drastic actions. What she was doing, was treason against the Crown, it was so ingrained since her youth — what every citizen of the Fire Nation was taught from childhood — loyalty to their homeland. Treason was never an option.

Shiori knew the instant Jian had walked through those doors with the child in his arms, was the nail to her reality. Something had to be done. She had been denying it all her life… it has just taken a crippled court and the blood of countless families scapegoated to appease the rage of the nobility to force her eyes to open. The Fire Nation had fallen into madness with Ozai's reign. The man's paranoia was unparalleled. Since the night of the Last Supper, a dreadful law was implemented, a curfew was sanctioned and a surveillance system consisted of large quantity of troops and spies to scattered across the nation to pull the weeds by its roots. Blood rained.

The body counts were too high to understand the full extent of chaos happening within the country. All she knew was that the purge started within the Capital, then spreaded like wildfire to the towns and outer villages. No one was spared. If one was suspected to play a hand, distant relatives or held association with the servants employed at the New Moon Banquet, then they burnt on sight, no trial necessary.

The fear of being next, caused the people to monitor one another. The result, was a mad society in which neighbours blew the whistle on each other, friends on friends, in-laws on in-laws, husband on wife and wife on husband. Not even the Avatar could calm the people's mind in this period of terror.

Luckily for her, she was wed to a great man that cared deeply for her well-being, even if he didn't displays it outside of their private chambers for her own safety. She was willing to do the same. After all, her husband is a careful man, but to others his moral compass was questionable due to his calculative nature. She must attest to that — she did not marry such a man! He's a husband who would betray his monarch to follow his wife into battle. With such a man behind her, Shiori must not be anything less.

She straightened her back and tightened her hold on the clay cup in her palms. "What's done cannot be undone." The white lotus hairpin never weighed so heavily in her hair as the scent of jasmine permeated so strongly in the air that it made her nauseous. "Just like how far the world has fallen to have created the monster behind the Last Supper. We _must_ bring back balance to this era." What she spoke next was considered high treason, "We must rid ourselves of Ozai."

* * *

"The cause of death?"

"Pollens from the Crimson Moon lilies scattered on the food and drinks," he paused ever so slightly hesitating, "They have a similar appearance to the fire lilies so the flowers were hidden within various arrangements. Their distinct feature is that they release poisonous pollens on nights of the New Moon. The mortality rate depends on the quantity of pollen ingested." He knows it would be futile to declare further that he was set-up. At the moment no one cared for the truth, only those to scapegoat.

Thus, making his current circumstances more precarious than before, after all he was and would be remembered as the host of the Last Supper. The nobility were blinded by rage, they wanted blood to spill for the love they lost. He is the obvious choice since they already hated his guts and aimed for numerous occasions to strip him of his station. It's easy to point fingers, since anything would be fine as long as they have an outlet to blame and take the fall for the outrage that gathered and swarm the Capital with terror. The ones who planned this were toying with the nation's elites like how the nobility been treating this country as their playground. Whoever designed this plot should not be underestimated. _After all, they plan for him to take the fall._ How sadistic.

"Kyou, you understand don't you?" Fire blaze high from the Dragon Throne making the dark shadow of the Fire Lord grow oppressive with the rising heat. "The Court demands more blood than they'd shed. If you cannot satisfy them, I'll have to give them yours." _Find the culprit or it will be_ your _bloodbath._

He swallowed hard, the implication was clear. He shall be the scapegoat if he didn't weave a story so compelling to prevent his body from burning in eternal hellfire. It can't end now especially when the Crown Prince is on his deathbed.

He still recalls it, Zuko's ambition to overtake the Crown by sixteen shouldn't be considered urgent. After all, such a thing was impossible when the child would remain in a vegetative state if death didn't take him. Still, it bothered Kyou; the child's uncanny gaze into the distance as he spoke those haunting words, _'_ _Age does not matter. In this country a Fire Lord can be sixteen.'_ The molten gold under the mask sent chills down his spine.

Instead, Kyou informed the Fire Lord with information that deserved more immediate attention, starting with the unnatural discoveries of the vendor who supplied the arrangements. The circumstances were suspicious since everything fit so perfectly like puppets on strings. Kyou found it odd, how the vendor, _Golden Petals_ which were exceptional in their services and ability to deliver had a shortage of fire lilies due to a sudden fire breaking out coincidently to the time he ordered them for the banquet.

During the investigation, they babbled on that due to the unexpected situation and the fast-approaching deadline they could only outsource and had luckily ran into a merchant from Fire Fountain City that had enough lilies needed to meet the quantity demanded for the banquet. Of course Kyou had sent search units for this _merchant._

After a week of search and seizures, they found the man dead at the bottom of the cliff to Fire Fountain City. With the man's possessions stolen, his body lied pierced from the sharp rocks below. People who recognized the merchant said that he was a lowlife involved with the black market due to his gambling addiction; the man had accumulated enormous debts to the point where he had his fair shares of black dealings. They said that karma had caught up with the man to run into bandits. It was no surprise that he had lost his balance and fell off a cliff in his haste to escape. The investigation came to a dead end with the merchant's death. Now his only lead is Golden Petals...and that company is a mystery of interconnected webs of its own.

Fire flare engulfing the hall in dark shadows. "Find the source of the merchant's supplies." Kyou could read in between the lines: The source of the lilies is where the culprit lies. He could see the cold anger in the Fire Lord's golden eyes. "When you do, bring them to me." The Fire Lord is not a man to be toyed with, "I will personally deal with such indiscretion." The voice drawled low, deadly.

Kyou turned his gaze towards the polished floor. He replied with a simple affirmative. Three days… will it be enough to find who is responsible? Probably not… but that doesn't mean he'd stop trying.

The Fire Lord continued as the fire calmed. "Know that I cannot prolong them for much longer. After the third day, you will be on trial. Present your evidence and prove your innocence. Do not let my investment on you go to waste."

Kyou's eyes were alight with fire. With a composure he wasn't feeling before, now morphed into a determination unparalleled to any other as he proclaimed, "I will not fail you, Sire." He bowed deep, forehead touching the polished wooden floor. _I will not fail you, Father._

* * *

Azula stood overseeing the turtle-duck pond. The little creatures and their mother didn't seem to be visiting today either. That's unfortunate for them, she wanted to feed them the flower in her hand…

She held the crimson moon lily near her face and made an expression of distaste. After all, it was a reminder of the mother she hated; it was fitting for such a woman. This place too, this place that lacked life and remained as silent as the grave. An unchanging place like the woman with her unchanging ways.

"Princess," the servant informed her that her guest has arrived. Azula dismissed the woman with a flick of her wrist and with one last look at the empty pond, she threw the flower causing ripples to the still surface before walking away.

"It is my greatest honor to be invited by the Crown Princess for tea." The man bowed deeply.

"Your information is better than that Admiral Jian, my brother is not yet dead." She walked up the steps of the gazebo and sat herself gracefully across from the bowing man.

"My apologies, princess."

"You do not tend to get ahead of yourself like the others Admiral." She sipped the freshly poured chrysanthemum tea. In her clear glass cup she could see the yellow flowers in full bloom.

"Yes, however the reports from the Royal Physician has every noble and citizen of the country lamenting over the unfortunate circumstances of the Crown Prince." The man still had his face lowered directly to the ground, making her unable to read his thoughts — still, Azula did recognize his motive and where he wanted to steer the conversation.

"He might never awaken from his slumber, so it will not be wrong of the Courts to presume that you will be the next heir to the throne, princess." Precisely as she had predicted. This wasn't the first time the topic came up. All of them had brought such praises and fake pleasantries to her within the past week.

Azula hummed, analyzing the man. This person wasn't stupid enough to try and get into her good graces. Her father did warn her of being cautious of people that holds a powerful information network. A man that gathered information so well, made it rather difficult to tell where his true allegiance lay. Until she knew where he stood, the Admiral would not be trusted. Still, he held something she desired, that being the vast web of networks far superior to hers, thus brought her to this meeting. She was glad, foes were much easier to handle.

"Admiral Jian, surely you would know better than that. Do not let rumours sway your judgement." She laughed good-naturedly before stating, "I would not poison half the Court to get my hands on the Crown that will be mine in the future. Why would I do such a thing knowing my uncle would simply take it from me because I'm not yet of age?" She motioned to him to lift his head and sit.

Jian did as instructed with a mask of smiles in place. He chuckled lightly with eyes shut closed. "Goodness! I would never imply such a thing! Your highness is correct to not take distasteful rumours to heart." The man sat down as one of the servant poured the tea. He did not touch it.

Azula smiled like she usually did — blithe and sharp, like the edge of a knife — "Do you mean the ones of me willing to commit fratricide because I'm a megalomaniac?" She took a slow sip from her lukewarm tea, "Or the conspiracy theories of testing my poison potency on the Court all in order to aim for my brother before my father?"

The man put on a solemn face. "So your highness has heard?"

"Do not take me for a fool, or you might burn where you sleep." She can as well whip the man for his imprudent for continuing his mind games — testing her like a fool — _treating her like a child!_ But she shall prove him wrong by playing his games and not rise to the bait of being so easily angered, "Only being deaf could save me from how obnoxiously loud the Capital has become. The conspiracies has countless flaws, the obvious being that the Fire Lord has a taste tester. Now that this has happened, everyone will likely invest in one or two as if it's the latest trend! If I were the culprit, such a stunt would not work again." She showed a sad expression, then finishing it off with a whispered, "It is rather irrational to aim for my brother. Why would I exert such efforts when my father will give _me_ the throne?" This was a test, to see whether Jian would take her bait. The answer will determine his loyalty. _Ozai or Iroh?_

Jian is a calculative man. She admired that. "The game of inheritance is complex even though it does not have to be. I grieve for your circumstances princess. My apologies for doubting your honor and for being poisoned by the venom of the snake pit." It is finished with him emptying his cup of tea.

Azula watched and listened, and then she strikes, "Then surely you know what I want to earn my forgiveness."

The Admiral's smile faded and what remained was serious apprehension. "Your highness is right to visit local flower shops in the Capital. But that could also prove dangerous."

Azula followed up with, "Because the merchant was a distraction to buy time for the clean up?" making Jian grin.

"Did you know that Golden Petals has a subsidiary shop call Hanabi?"

She did not know that, since the establishment was well-known in the Fire Nation to have own various small businesses and cargo ships. Golden Petals is a merchants association that deals in multiple trades, as a matter of fact the biggest trading company in the nation, but that was only a public front. It was also known for being the best place to hide black market dealings. Thus, making it hard to find information, unless you knew where to look. Its webs runs thick and deep within the country that even the Crown cannot touch it unless Ozai wants a recession.

She frowned, "It was one of the shops I had visited."

"Then did your highness notice anything strange or peculiar about it?"

Azula tried to recall the small shop in the lower parts of the city. It was rather well-maintained on the inside compared to the worn out appearance it held outside. The flowers she saw were freshly blossomed and well-taken care of. The shop had quite the variety and seemed to be profiting from the business even though the neighbourhood it was placed in doesn't appeared to be ones to purchase flowers. From asking the florist, it seems they have two part-time workers and the owner that only takes evening shifts to maintain the small shop. It seems the reasoning behind it was because the area became dangerous at night. Besides that, nothing was out of the ordinary unless she takes in why the place was still in business.

"No." Azula lets out her final answer.

The man forms an amused smile, "Princess, what you entered was a place to hire assassins."

Azula stared with wide eyes. She immediately stomped it down to retain her face of royal indifference.

Admiral Jian continued, "It works when customers places order for _certain arrangements_ to be delivered to the person they want kill."

"That means picking certain flowers tigger the code to place the assassination order."

"Yes, you catch on fast, princess." The man nodded signaling for more tea.

Azula eyes twinkled, imagining the possibility of the information in her possession. She now wielded such a power to determine fate itself! But most of all, Zuko _would survive_ his situation. "Thank you admiral. Your visit has been quite the pleasure. I will personally guarantee both you and your family a long and prosperous life." She allowed her voice to genuinely sound cheerful.

"To hold such favour from royalty and possibly the future ruler of the country, I am deeply grateful." Jian picking out her good mood went to ask, "Please pardon my rudeness, but what will your highness do with such information?"

"Nothing that would endanger you Admiral," she answered without missing a beat. It implied that his role was done, and that he should not overstep his boundaries or test her benevolence.

The admiral raised an eyebrow. "Not even to help your fiancee in his little dilemma?"

Azula scowled, "If a child such as myself can figure it out, surely being much older he can too." She had to contain her tone from almost spatting it out, which was improper of a royal princess. It would go against everything her father has taught her. One should never display lost of control or temperament even if the inside wants to explode. She needed to appear in control at all times, even if she were laying in a pool of her own blood. If she loses control, it would be the end for her. Father would find her disappointing and what she fear will happen. It is far worse than being scorned like Zuko...

She didn't want to think it, but her brother, useless and foolish in every ways possible recently became more… dependable... only to end up comatose like their mother. Zuko was always a constant reminder of the woman she hated. The resemblance was so uncanny that she couldn't stop herself from pointing out every one of the flaws from Ursa in him. What made it overly frustrating was that the woman was lost to Azula if Zuko remained in his condition. It was vexing.

Whispering lion-vultures were circling the city while its rumours rampaged. Most thought he didn't have long to live, that fever would overtake him. It was gossiped by the maids that the room where he laid reeked of death; the stench was thickly foreshadowed in the air, supported by the wilting flowers at his bedside that death hovered above him. Azula thought it was all baseless superstitions. She knew her brother's stubbornness — he wouldn't go down without a fight. So engrossed in her own thoughts, Azula had missed what the admiral had said.

Jian having caught her mistake, repeated, "It seems the rumours are true." There was a hint of disappointment in his voice that Azula didn't quite understand nor did she cared.

Instead, the princess innocently smiled before standing up to signal the end of their conversation. She had gotten what she came for so she didn't need to entertain the man's needless whims any longer. Everything she does is for the end goal.

She left with, "You surely heard of the latest ones then?" There is a pleasant smile on her face because for once she actually meant what she had to say. "It's true that I am a _heartless bitch_ to use this tragedy to cut off my engagement."

Something is wrong with her. The Last Supper created chaos and suffering for hundreds and even thousands of her people, yet Azula could not be any happier. The event had set her free! Azula never felt so in control of her own destiny, far apart from what Father planned for her — that for once, she did not take joy in leaving someone speechless.

* * *

It is through these halls, filled with well-armoured Palace Guards that she visited him for the first time since he became bedridden. No one said anything, but Azula could read it in their eyes. It was proven that madness runs deep in Sozin's lines. So when she dismissed his valet and the various servants they hesitated for mere seconds before heeding her command. Azula wanted to roll her eyes at their unnecessary dread. They think she did it, otherwise it's because her blood runs blue. She could only wish it did so that she could visit him sooner and not be so affected. Azula couldn't stand to look at him after he coughed a pool of red that spattered on the food and painted itself on her face. His body lay still, perfectly, lifelessly quiet.

Never before had anything so unexpected fazed her to the extent that her mind blank leaving her body immobile for those seconds she felt not in control. That never happened before and she'll make dead sure it won't happen again.

Azula approached his beside, first noticing the wilted flowers and then her brother's lifeless form. He was pale, sickly as a corpse and too thin for it to be the boy who stubbornly trained trying to outclass her every night. This was not the Zuko she remembered. This is something repulsive, weak and so, _fragile_. He could pass any moment and she wouldn't even notice. Azula grimaced, she shouldn't have come.

But Azula did not bring herself to leave. Not when she came with a purpose.

The fluttering slow raise of his chest is the only indication that she wasn't visiting the dead. She placed herself on the chair beside his bed. With an even voice and her usual smile Azula ushered, "Did you know?" She paused, "Did you know how many times I thought of being an only child?" He did not answer. She hated being ignored.

"If you had never existed, then mother would _have to_ love me. If you were gone, then father would never have such high expectations of me." She clenched her small fists at her side. "If you disappeared from my life… how wonderful would that be…" There is silence. She carried on with the conversation as if he had spoken.

"Don't deny it," she said wickedly. "I know you thought it too."

Azula allowed herself to lightly giggle. "You are such a horrible liar Zuzu. I could see it on your face." She held her smile, the ones she showed to her mother, "But even if I was gone, Father will _never_ favour you brother. Not unless he sees a child with _talent_."

There is a salty taste in the air.

"But don't worry, brother." She wiped away the sweat in her eyes. "I'll not abandon you like our Mother and I shall not forsake you like our Father." She uncharacteristically reach for his hand. He was a firebender like her, so to find them cold should've faze her. But it didn't. "I came to realize, I would die of boredom without you." She laced her fingers with his and continued to sit there, using her fire to heat the chilly room and fuel his dying core; the flame that should burn strongly in every child of fire, is diminishing in his.

She did not know how long she sat in the silence. But what made her time move was the slight squeeze of his icy hand on hers. She tightened her hold and finally dared to look at his face. To her disappointment, his eyes remained close and breathing unbearably faint.

It might be just a twitch of the muscles, but she wanted to believe that he was listening. "Don't think this will be a common occurrence." She smirked teasingly. "I'll make sure you pay a lifetime's worth."

As if in reply, he squeezes her hand again.

There is a sadness in her eyes she hadn't intended to let loose. "Sleep, I'll take care of everything." _So that you'll remain stainless and pure in this red garden of burnt roses and lies._

* * *

 _Zuko dreamed. A long dream of a past forgotten. It was a landscape from his childhood of blue beaches and warm summer homes, a mother's laughter and a father's warmth; there was a family watching a play and siblings dancing and chasing each other in green mellows with flower crowns in their hair. It was a long forgotten time and an unheard of happiness. Zuko didn't mind dreaming forever._

" _Zuzu! Zuzu! Look!" His little sister around three showed him a bright smile at the flower crown she made. She was clearly proud to hold it out to him so confidently. This was often Azula's favourite activity since the day their mother made her one to stop her from crying because she was not old enough to wear a royal crest yet. She wanted one like his and be like him so much, that Mother decided to force him to wear her handmade flower crown too. It was embarrassing for a five year old to wear such a girlish thing. He took it off immediately when Ursa left and made an excuse that he wanted a more suitable one to keep her from crying. Since that day, Azula had pestered their mother to teach her to make one that even he couldn't refuse_ — _she was determined to make him wear one._

 _Zuko at the time thought she was joking. So he agreed to it willingly_ — _that if she could make such a crown he would wear it proudly. He thought by promising her such a thing Azula would stop her whining and forget about it soon. He was surprised to see that she was so committed to the point she never failed in presenting him one everyday. Each day was a new ring of different assortment of flowers. His sister was surprisingly getting good that even the maids wanted one. He wouldn't admit it, but he was slightly envious. He didn't know at what, but those crowns were his!_

 _He left but was easily found by Azula._

" _Do you like it Zuzu?" She held out a crown of white and red flowers, "I saved the best for you!" That made all of his frustration vanish._

 _Zuko finally conceded. He couldn't beat such an adorable smile or ignore her efforts any longer. "It's perfect Azula," he answered with smile of his own and wore the crown happily, not caring what others thought, not even Father could affect his mood, because no matter what anyone said, he loved the crowns she made for him._

Zuko slowly opened his eyes.

 _You were happy with only a flower crown. It was... enough._

Those words were the last remnant of his dream. It was time to wake up. His eyes flash opened. It was a nauseating mess, a harsh awakening at best before he saw unfamiliar faces with loud shouts assaulting his migraine. It was a blur after that. People came in and out, noises and faces seemed to be speaking to him all at once. He was thoroughly checked and while pondering how long he was asleep, Zuko dutifully answered the Physician's questions. After the examination, it was deemed best for him to get bed rest. Now he lay on the bed, staring at one point in his canopy bed to stop the world from swirling. It seemed he was unconscious for about two weeks, and it will take another week or two for his body to fully recover from the poison and malnutrition.

He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep when he heard Ozai's voice enter his bedchamber. The Fire Lord spoke to the Physician and after a few minutes of conversation, swiftly left. Zuko was glad the man didn't 'wake him up' for a heart-to-heart. So for the remainder of a few minutes, he told everyone to leave so he could rest. He heard his doors close and he was finally alone in complete darkness.

"You're crazy you know that?" A voice sliced the silence and he turned his head to see Shiki leaning against his bedside with a candle alight.

He blinked away the drowsiness in his eyes and replied softly, "Is that so." His voice was rough after two weeks of being unused.

The woman lightly chuckled, finding his answer hilarious. Then her tone suddenly turn serious. "You knew this would happen." Shadows shifted in the room.

A moment pass as thick silence chilled the air as he turned to look at the darkness above. "I did." It was said indifferently.

Silence. There were many things left unsaid. He preferred it that way.

"How did it feel to be at death's door?" The assassin asked instead and the shadows in the room seemed to calm.

He considered if he should tell her it was more troublesome than being dead, but decided against it due to the hassle of explaining himself afterwards.

"Painful," he spoke evenly. But it was mostly _sad…_ rather than the pain of vomiting blood from the poison in his veins numbing all senses except the unbearable feeling of the body running a cold heat, no it was far worse that that feeling he had withstood from his past illness. What really bothered him was when the vision darkened and the memories flooded in showing how his life is unpredictable and that control is just another illusion. That was the true tormentor. When control doesn't escapes you, but to realized it was never real brought Zuko to his knees once.

"Duh, I'm surprised you drank it all without batting an eye."

Instead of answering to her statement Zuko said, "Is it done?"

"At the cost of my flower shop." There was an edge in her voice, but Zuko knew her business wouldn't be affected by just that.

"How admirable." He commented.

She clicked her tongue and turn to the dark corner of the room.

"Yeah, it's done alright." The light of the candle does not reach her form.

With that confirmation, he thought she would leave him, but she continued calmly, "Just in time before your sister came to my shop."

Shiki smirked thinking it would inspire some surprise in him. Instead, Zuko settled with a ghost of a smile, "That's reassuring. It would've been surprising if she didn't." _That's Azula for you._

A little disappointed Shiki jab back, "She's a good sister, that girl. She's determined to find her brother's attempted killer."

Zuko thought Shiki was joking. "No, she's trying to find the bug that poisoned the nation." _Everything Azula does has always been for the Fire Nation. She loves so vast, he doubt there is any room for anything else._

Shiki remained quiet. It would be pointless to tell him otherwise when he so blindly believes in it. "I'll say it again. _You're crazy, kid."_ Then she disappeared into the darkness of night cutting the candle of light.

Zuko closed his eyes with a grin he could not contain. He seemed to pass another one of Shiki's test, otherwise the multiple shadows in the room would've send him pass the realm of dreams this time. Shiki might know more than she lets on. But Zuko thinks it's fine for now.

After all, no sane person would plot suicide just for Ozai's crown. _No, he is aiming for much, much more!_

Vengeance doesn't wilt like a flower crown. It should be unexpected and rarely be seen as such. It goes beyond death and remains like ember. Vengeance is patience. _It never dies._

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Sorry it has taken me so long to update this. I have been traveling throughout Asia these past few months and finally found time and inspiration to write! My love for this show and its characters will never die ;) Hope you guys _review_ this chapter for a faster update!

Shiori: guide to weaving history.

Yellow Chrysanthemum signifies neglected love and sorrow.

Hanabi means Fireworks, but in Japanese if you separate "Hana" which means flower and "Bi" which means fire you get something similar to fire flowers. I think you guys know this by now, but fire flowers means hatred which is a perfect name for a business that assassinate by certain arrangements for a given price.


	8. For Want of a Nail

I'm back! This chapter wouldn't be up anytime soon without my amazing friend who always motivates and encourages me to continue writing this story! She is also my amazing editor :) This chapter is dedicated to her. Thanks love!

And let's not forget the amazing people who review, fav and follow this story! You guys are my source of joy!

Disclaimer: I do not own A:TLA.

* * *

 **Chapter 6.5: For Want of a Nail**

Ba Sing Se lavishly prospered, an ocean away from the Fire Nation's civil war where children were left orphaned and people were impoverished from the disarray. Festivals were alight to the coming of the New Year, as if the city were celebrating in another's misfortunes.

She sat in the centre of Earth Kingdom custom. Far enough to be away from the ruckus of celebration, yet near enough to listen to the cheerful, mindless chatters. The teahouse, located in the upper ring was ideal to host the best quality of gossip - amusement for the ruling class in this Agni forsaken city of earth and decadent.

"The colonies has held back trade with its homeland. Went as far as stopping their supplies and renouncing themselves as a republic!" One man divulged almost conspiratorially.

"What kind of brave fool would risk sailing in those pirate infested seas? Not to mention, those colonies had wanted independence for years!" Laughed another, a merchant with his mouth full of roasted duck. "I bet those bastards are pretty damn happy not having to meet any quotas now."

A man with a extended goatee shook his head. "The Fire Nation is doomed." The middle-age man wore an emerald silk robe, golden threads embroidered delicate patterns of his house's symbol on the sleeves and neck. "Its monarch more so. All dead, last I heard." He sipped his tea pleasantly, as if he had just mentioned the weather.

The rich snob who started the topic added, "murdered by their own kin! It's mayhem over there. Revolts left and right."

The fat merchant spit out, "I say good riddance! The world is better off cleanse of that immoral family. Retribution finally sank its teeth into that vile nation!"

"I say they are doing a fine work for us! They weaken themselves now and it will be easy pickings later." The man in the silken robes, boasted.

The two men laughed as they stuffed their mouths full. She wanted more than anything for them to choke on all that food and die while she strangled the other. Still, she held herself back. Her fists were knuckled white to the point of seeing blue veins popping. Instead, she turned her attention when she heard a girl gasp, "Oh my! _Really?_ The Avatar is here?!"

"Yes. The King will hold court, then a welcoming feast this coming evening." The one that responded was no girl, but a lady as refined as moon lilies. Azula recalled such a flower gave premature deaths.

"Why haven't I told of such importance earlier _Mother?_ My wardrobe certainly won't do!" The young girl replied, excited in all her silk and fineries.

Contrasting to the innocence she portrayed, it didn't escape Azula that underneath lay ambition. No doubt she weld sway at court. "Darling, do you think so lowly of your mother? I have prepared everything for you to shine tonight sweetheart. He won't be able to take his eyes off you for a second!"

A woman's power comes from what is between her legs. Father made sure she knew; to sway is to seduce yourself to power. And powers denies you nothing.

"I love you Mother! He'll need a proper girl after that horrible failure of a relationship!" The girl was raised right by the woman as she placed a chaste kiss to her mother's cheek.

"Of course, a mother knows best." The woman laughed while glancing at her. Azula immediately looked away. Yet, she was still noticed as the woman in earthen colors came her way with her daughter close behind.

"What a lovely girl such as yourself doing alone on New Year?" The dark hair beauty inquired pleasantly. "May we join you?"

She looked behind the two ladies and smiled at the empty seats at the far corner of the tea house. Rather than refusing, Azula welcomed it.

"If you wish, my lady. I cannot refuse good company."

"No need to be so formal honey." The words contrasted with the look of approval on her face. "Today is a joyous occasion! Call me Madam Wei and this is," she gestured for her daughter to continue.

"A pleasure, I am Zhen from the noble house Zhang." The girl curtsied and Azula wanted to roll her eyes. Instead she stood, curtsied back awkwardly and stated, "Lan is my name, a niece to the owner of this establishment. My uncle is currently busy so I'm to wait." She then uttered sheepishly, "to be honest, I just arrived from a small village to the coast. I haven't seen my uncle in ages... I'm afraid he won't recognize me."

"My!" Zhen gasp astonished, but it wasn't the fact that a woman has travelled without escort. No, not with that bright smile which hides its meaning.

Offspring learn from their parents. In Zhen's case, her mother. With the Madam's demeanor, she will exploit it. "How far you have traveled, but you have nothing to fear sweetheart. Mushi adores his family. It's irrefutable otherwise! Though, I did not know he had hidden a gem this charming." Madam Wei dramatized it by looking around the crowded shop for her uncle.

"Where is the man, to be taking his time and leaving such a beautiful girl to fend against these wild beasts." The woman jested, but Azula knew that while she was watching others, the woman Wei was also observing her. Her father's lessons were ingrained into Azula. Ozai had made sure her training was nothing less than flawless. The best lies were those with half truths. Lessen their guards so they're more susceptible to talk, distract their attention to what you seek, and extract the information without their knowledge.

"Knowing my uncle, he goes at his own pace." Azula offered.

"Indeed he does. Always tending to this shop and dots on that grandchild of his. The man, like the rest of this city rarely cares for what is beyond the walls." Madam Wei laughed in witty amusement. A dainty hand covering her lips. "But you must know more about the outside world, Lan." She leaned in with red lips whispering, "are what the merchants say true?" The Madam's eyes gleamed.

Azula lowered her eyes and meekly nodded.

The Lady Zhen exclaimed, "but everything is so peaceful!" Her tone in disbelief. "It is hard to believe that war and terror rage outside our walls."

"The king is good." Madam Wei tries to calm her daughter and the others who eavesdropped into the conversation.

Azula disagreed. It's true that Kuei is nothing like Zuko. The Fire Lord controlled everything in his kingdom, while the Earth King left all state governance to his council. Therefore, it was quite apparent that Ba Sing Se could survive without its monarch, whereas the Fire Nation was quick to fall apart without the constant reign of an absolute power. One man cannot regulate the corruption of its population compared to the vast society that swayed the Earth Kingdom behind the shadows.

How she despised this self-made prison city of foul pretense - a sickening hive. In the name of peacekeeping they called it. As if no one knew what it truly was, an excuse for the kingdom to take back lands by invading the colonies and regaining what they presumed was rightfully theirs. The ruling elites of this city would never allow a sovereignty other than themselves.

As of late, the colonies fend no better than its Homeland - being stuck between the Earth Kingdom forces laying siege on land, while savages ravaged ships and harbours at sea. With the colonies in desperation, it wasn't hard for _someone_ to manipulate the situation in their favor and have the colonies proclaim themselves as an independent state. The society of the Liberation Republic finally revealed itself on the world stage in the name of justice for all the decades of oppression from the Motherland and its neighbours. They only tolerated Ozai because the man _was_ the winning side with a vast army at his back; it provided them with security from Earth Kingdom forces. With Zuko, there was no such army, no such reassurance, there was nothing holding them back.

Yet, her brother failed to see this. It was what led to his downfall. There is no one enemy a man can defeat like her brother had so hoped. There is no king that ruled it like the Fire Nation. It's the terms of cost and benefits for uprising and the insensitive nature of strengths and achievements which devoured this city whole.

Azula chose her words carefully, "and so are the good people of this city." Politics was the real player in this game of kingdoms. Yet, one must account for everything if they want to win the game. The _true_ sovereign of this place are the ones you'd least expect. Men hold the power, but women hold the _leash_.

"Will you be attending the party tonight?" It is not loss that Zhen was the one to steer the conversation. "Uncle Mushi hardly ever goes, even though the King enjoys his tea and company. Surely, he'll not deny his beloved niece from going."

She forced a smile, "I'm not even sure if I beg, he'll let me go."

Listen, which she always does, and you'll not miss things.

 _-the Avatar is here?!_

Important things.

 _-yes. The King will hold court, then a welcoming feast this coming evening._

These women knew her Uncle's standing within the elite circle.

- _the King enjoys his tea and company._

They would not lose this opportunity. For surely, they would notice the good relationship between the Avatar and her uncle the times the two interacted. And for a noble lady to be alone with a man without impropriety while simultaneously weed out her competition, support from the right people are key. Azula could practically see the clockworks in Lady Zhen. After all, the young Avatar cannot refuse the Earth King _and her uncle_ even if he's smart enough to see the courtship.

How her uncle had fallen, to be a pawn in marriage games within enemy's walls when his country is in dire need of help.

The girl leaned in beside her, with a gentle gesture she softly spoke, "nonsense, just ask and I'm sure he'll make room in his busy schedule to attend. It is a dream every girl has to experience." Zhen held her hand with a bright smiling mask on her face.

Lady Zhen is devious like her mother. If she only knew how influential her uncle is on the Avatar. Nevertheless, it worked all the same with or without such knowledge. In the right circumstances, they could have been great friends. Sadly that is not the case.

"You cannot find yourself a better match anywhere else!" Apparently to noble ladies residing within walls all their lives, a woman's prospect is in marriage and everything else is nonexistence.

 _A man does not define me._

Azula instinctively wanted to push the girl away, but she held herself and faked excitement. "Yes, I hope so too." She replied as Madam Wei waved to a person behind Azula.

"Mushi!" She called, "over here!"

Azula tensed and reflectively mold her facial expression. She is strength...she is perfection. Azula, the princess of the Fire Nation cannot buckle now.

"Lady Wei, what a pleasant surprise." As always, anything with two legs and female has her uncle greet jovially.

"Yes, yes but I think you've kept your dear niece waiting long enough!" The woman clapped her hands together delightfully.

Zhen laughed at the man's surprise as he laid eyes on her. Even with her dyed short hair and the long bangs that covered her eyes, Iroh would surely see her resemblance to Ursa.

Azula smiled. It was a reunion she had certainly been looking forward to, for a long time. "Uncle, it's Lan. Do you not recognize your favourite niece?"

Her uncle paled considerably but held his composure. "Lan… so good to see you." His smile was strained, his eyes hard.

It came to Azula naturally. What to say to make it hurt most. "I missed you Uncle. But you really shouldn't let your guard down for anyone that wears a _skirt._ "

* * *

"How have you been?" Iroh started as he served the tea.

The man knew _exactly_ what she'd been through. Rotting in a cell and running for her life. It's like him to question the obvious. But even for him, the question was far-fetched. That could only mean he wanted to waste time. Fine with her.

Still she knew she mustn't give way that she knew. So she rolled her eyes. "Uncle, drop the theatric. You and I both know we can only tolerate each other."

"That's not my intentions. Why would you assume that?" The man said it so innocently as if he had never done her any wrong. There were many things that Azula could tolerate; her childhood, her _parents_ , betrayal, imprisonment, torture, insanity - _she had outlived them all._ But hypocrisy was something that cannot be conquered. The one thing she couldn't stand.

So she sneered, "you never tried to understand me. So don't pretend now."

Iroh frowned. "You know that's not tru-"

"You certainly showed it."

"Child, if you only look at the bad that is all you'll see."

"Stop." Her tone was steel. "That would work on Zuko. And he's dead. May I remind you it was _your_ hypocrisy that killed him, _Uncle_."

The once great Dragon of the West let out a long sigh as if she was unrepentant; a hopeless case for him to even try.

"Why are you here Azula?" It was said titering on disapproval.

She looked around the enclosed office. Nothing more but a wooden desk sat between them and two steaming cups of tea. The one window in the small room was sealed while parchments lay surprisingly tucked away from preying eyes. Surely, those scrolls contained other news than the daily operations of a tea business. White Lotus intel, no doubt.

"You know why." She casually glanced at her sharp nails. In actuality, she was surveying the structure and layout of her environment.

"No." The man had stood up, turn to the side, and held both hands tightly around his back. The candles in the room glowed brighter. Her uncle had changed since poor Zuzu's death. She guessed losing another _'son'_ would do that to a man. She wondered what his reaction would be when she told him he lost the woman he loved? She decided to save the best for last.

She didn't have a chance to reply before he repeated, _"no."_

Azula narrowed her eyes, "I've bargained myself for it. You've taken what is mine."

Her uncle is stubborn. With a firm shake of his head, it is clear that he'd never hand the life that she had saved, over. The two weeks she has hidden in Ba Sing Se was not for naught, finding her uncle was the easy part, but the child… that was the complication. But she knew Iroh like she knew Ozai's lessons. His habit likes to keep his loved ones close. For the Dragon of the West, many years of war and court intrigue had taught him to be cautious more than anything. The man knew she would come back for the infant. What he didn't comprehend was that she had came _after she survived the woman that haunted her nightmares._ Azula knew she was cured, for Ursa was gone from her mind and this world.

"The child deserves to be happy." The man said sadly. "That's what his parents would've wanted."

Azula gripped the arms of her chair. "They're gone. The dead do not know what's best for the living." Not even the living knows what's good for themselves…

"Yes, and I do know the child will not be safe in your hands."

"And you think he'll be safe in _yours_?" She hissed venomously. She almost laughed when he looks at her determinedly. "You're a fool old man if you would think that for even a second." Azula knew better than to let anger sway her actions - it's the man's lies and secrets that made her mad.

Iroh shrouded himself in what is good and just, but he never seemed to realize how very wrong that truly was. He's hypocrisy manifested. This was the very reason that brought her to burnt that vile rose garden so long ago. Her family can only function from them. _Lies, lies, and more lies!_

She calmed herself or she at least, tried to before, "After all, _you're the one_ raising him in the city that betrayed and murdered his parents." Azula seethed. "He'll turn out like his father. Dead, if you have your way with him." Iroh stilled in realization. His eyes were sad and truly horrified. They begged her to stop.

Azula would not give him the pleasure. "You slept with her, but Zuko is not your son. Zuko is not the Lu Ten who you killed. His son is not yours to right your wrongs!"

Iroh held his breath. Face petrified. Composure lost. Azula didn't relent, "how are you so sure he'll be safe when I, a fugitive so easily located you? It doesn't take long to connect the dots and even faster for them to slaughter yet another son in your care."

Iroh let out an unsteady breath and tried to regain himself. "I think I'm doing quite a good job if you're here and not with him, Azula." Her uncle never seemed so shaken, even letting his weariness settle out as he sat himself on the chair, slumped. As if she'll feel any pity for this man. She won't yield.

A long silence overtook them. Before Iroh finally asked, "how…" She could tell he struggled to mention the camelephant in the room.

"How... much do you know _Azula?"_

She did not answer immediately. No, she wanted to nurse her uncle's insufferable guilt. She wanted it to eat at him; Azula yearned to prolong the suffering, like how she had endured it her entire life.

She spoke, tone sharp as venomous fangs. "Everything. I knew it all my life it would seem." She tapped her nail on the wooden armrest, "my suspicion was confirmed with her." _The numerous pages of Ursa's life all written out in scribbles and apologies all burden in regret. Until she finally kills herself._

Iroh edged off his chair, wide eyes with traces of longing. Azula fisted her hands.

"Where?"

Azula did not deny him this.

"Dead."

The Dragon of the West face turned stony as he sat back down in his chair.

"How?"

"By her hand."

Iroh covered his eyes and showed nothing else.

"You don't seem surprised." Azula bit her lips.

"Niece," the man pinched the bridge of his nose, hard. "You've a grave misunderstanding about your mother and I."

"I seriously doubt that." She ground her teeth, frustrated that Ursa's death didn't bring more out of him.

"Is that why you burnt her rose garden that day?"

Unbidden memories came back in floods, to Azula. They were swimming in her eyes.

 _Azula these roses I plant for you._

 _My sweet, I love you… I will always love you._

 _I do… Sweetheart, I do._

 _No! No! No! Die! Die! Die! Why won't they die!_

"She even told you that huh?" Azula folded her arms across her chest, a sneer on her red lips.

Iroh frowned but continued, "your mother has had an inkling since then she'd lost you. Your father poisoned you against her, even so all she wanted was to protect you."

 _Stay with me. It was just a bad dream._

 _I'm here love, I'm here._

"Lies. That woman wants nothing of me."

Iroh urged on, "then at least believe in the truth that she loves you with all her heart."

 _I love you Azula… I do..._

Azula had enough. "That is rich coming from you! The man who slept with his brother's wife! How am I supposed to believe in a woman who gives her love so loosely! _Like a whore!_ " Her anger burst with the blue flames in the room burning hotly.

Iroh looked as if he was struck by lightning. Tears were brimming in the man's eyes. Then it was replaced with an anger of his own.

"Your mother is no such woman!" Iroh thundered, cold anger in his features.

"I was the only one with feelings for her. Ursa was faithful to her husband - your father! It was _him_ that dishonoured her! He saw her as a win against me!"

Azula knew her father had a royal harem, but it was still shocking all the same with how out of character her uncle had reacted. That his anger exploded from this than anything else she had said.

"I have only loved one woman in my life. _And I still love her..._ "

Iroh was famous for being a skirt-chaser in the Fire Nation; he couldn't be tied down by any one woman. She heard countless stories of her uncle's flings - his notorious reputation had made Fire Lord Azulon dealt him an impossible task in order to bind him to marriage. Yet like Zuko finding the Avatar, her uncle accomplished the impossible and defeated the last dragon gaining the title of Dragon of the West just so that he didn't have to marry.

It was a legendary tale that has poets and bards praising and spinning songs and stories across the world. More so because it was expected of the Crown Prince to have an legitimate heir, not bastards. Instead, Iroh defied even that, and legitimized one of his bastards to calm the unrest. Her father despised the man since. After all, Iroh made a bastard ahead of a true born prince in the line of succession. Her uncle had practically threw turds at her father having done such a thing and still held Azulon's favor. Knowing her father, he'd not taken it well.

Iroh now stared at the cold cup of tea, seeing something else entirely. "But she loved another, I could not dissuade her otherwise. So I had no choice but to give her up for the sake of her happiness..."

The Fire Nation princess clenched her fists, nails stinging her palms and blood dripping to the floor. This was not what she wanted.

"My brother took the one thing I wanted. The one thing I'll never have." Iroh finally looked straight at her, his golden eyes intense with unshed tears as he states, _"and a golden crown could not get me her. Not even a kingdom can fill her place."_ This was more than her uncle has given in all the years she'd knew him.

Azula could feel the flames lick the tension in the air.

"So tell me Niece, what should I do? Just looking at you hurts me. How could I give more than what I already have given to her beloved son?" The man's voice turns hard, "I ask again, how much do you presume you know?"

With all her efforts she held herself together. _Lies were what held her family together and lies were what torn them apart._ So a lie this must be. She knows because her mother had rather kill herself than stay with her.

"Uncle," she started with a numbness. "Give me the boy and you won't see me again."

"I cannot do that." He looked truly wary as if the fate of the world was on his shoulders, "I have promised Zuko to protect his son and only heir."

"With so many promises Uncle, I'm afraid you'll have to break one for the other. You've already failed to keep Zuko safe, so what is another broken promise make any difference?" She coolly stared at the tired man across the table, not giving into the turmoil within her mind. She needed to be strong so that her plan didn't unravel.

Iroh only replied with a silence that filled the room. It was only a matter of time - speak of the devil.

"Azula!" The Avatar came bursting into the window with a blast of wind. The blind metalbender was also in a combat position blocking the entrance to prevent her escape.

Zuko's little friends never seemed to fail her at appearing. Yet, why did they fail him? Azula could smile at how pitiful her brother was, jab at the haunting wounds of her uncle's hopeless love. Yet, she could only laugh at herself for how foolishly desperate she became. But Azula did not blame the world. No, she blamed the people living in it.

"Where's Ozai?"

She laughed mirthlessly. She too wanted the exact same.

* * *

Azula sees fire. Bright and powerful. It's not like her to fall into melancholy, recalling her father's words: _It's only a city. You'll get used to seeing more burn._

Still, it was a city she took without fire. Her efforts made sure it was bloodless. Now fire and blood overtook the streets and somehow she knew she'd be the one to blame. Even though she had nothing to do with these loyalists suddenly bursting into the Jasmine Dragon and raiding the city.

"Princess Azula," they kneeled before her. Men in full armor with purpose worn on their sleeves. "Your orders."

Azula took in the position of the burning sun - it was mid-noon. The time when firebenders are strongest. Their entrance which caused a huge gape to the building at this precise timing took her by surprise, but she couldn't say the same for them. They clearly had an inkling she would appear, as if this shit storm came with her arrival, making her the sole perpetrator for something she never played a part in. This entire francisco was planned, not just pieced together in a measly few months, no, it was meticulously arranged over the course of a year by someone who has both influence in both kingdoms. So, what in the world would the mastermind gain by letting her take all the credit? Why have the Earth Kingdom hate her more than they already do?

"See Twinkletoes! I told you princess crazy over there has a trap planned. And it only took citywide destruction for you to believe me!" The blind girl sardonically stated. But Azula did not have the time to hang around now that the situation had changed, and her plan in tatters. Not when she had a means of distraction other than herself for her uncle and his friends.

Iroh visibility paled as he made the connections. "We have to go now!"

Azula would not allow it. "Play with these fools why don't you. I have a city to take." Azula lied, but it did the trick when all eleven men eagerly charged at the group of three. And all four elements converges.

The fire princess quickly took her escape, but not without the leader of the group following her close behind.

"Princess, we did not doubt for a second you would return to us! _He_ was right that you would not abandon your people." Azula scowl. She has no time for this. Still it peaks her curiosity.

" _He?"_

"Your father's hand, Princess." That was all she needed when she struck the man unconscious with her lighting and dumped him in an ally.

What mattered is that the child is near, shown by Iroh's panic. From the placement of his office, she confirmed there to be a hidden passage to the treasure she seeked. All she had to do now is to hand out her part of the deal and receive her prize. Azula did warn her uncle not to trust anything in a skirt. She had used herself as bait, made them focus on her as to lure in her preys and have her hired men locate the nursemaid. Soundless and quick, she disappeared into the countless narrowed alleyways of the city.

* * *

The princess stared at the wide eyed child clucking and staining her shirt in tears. She wanted to dispose of the potato if she could, but the thing had a vice-like grip. Plus, they were riding towards the Serpent's Pass and she couldn't risk trackers on their tail so soon.

"Rilly? Azu? Rilly?" The boy whined. How could a child be this sensitive?

"Yes!" She proclaimed for the millionth time. "Uncle Iroh is busy. I'll take care of you from now on. And it's A-zu-la. A-zu-la!" Her patience had run dry.

"Bu-t! He sai he won'! Prom-ised!"

"Promises are meant to be broken."

The child looked down and did not retort like she had expected.

"Azu leaves me too…" His lips pouted.

The princess raised an elegant eyebrow at the little heir. The child although only two, seemed to have inherited Mai's mind and Zuko's looks. Now, if only he had her talent in Firebending, in order for him to survive in this world.

She doesn't give him any reassurance. Making the boy squeeze tighter.

"Nan, don want me." The nursemaid that took care of him had unwillingly given the heir of the Fire Nation up for a handsome payment and the threat on her brother's life gone.

"Evrybody leaves me."

"Yes," she stated firmly in order to get the child's attention. The next thing that left her lips is the true importance, "don't love, don't trust and before long, you won't even notice you're unloved."

The small thing shakes its head, wiping tears and snot on her clothes. Leave it to her uncle to have the boy be too sheltered for his own good.

"Don leave me Azu. I'll be good! I'll be good..." And to her surprise, he sniffed and held back the tears, clinging to her as if she was a lifeline.

There was a long silence before she whispered, "you'll learn to hate me too. Everyone does."

* * *

She stared into the distant tides. At this rate, the journey would take another day's time. Azula was used to the long travel on sea, however she was not accustomed to caring for a child as well. She did not know how long she could stand the child screeching in her ears and she was half a second away from knocking him out when the elderly woman that had helped her on this ship came and cooed at the red faced boy with treats.

She didn't understand why this old woman remained in her company. But Azula would tolerate it if it helped her goals.

"It's rather unsafe to be traveling alone with a child. But if that child hadn't came crying to me, you would've died trying to reach the dark lands."

Azula did not bother with small talk. Or acknowledge the Fire Nation as the dark lands.

The woman was not deterred. "It is good to see a child so lively. I pray for his future."

The world had truly gone to shit if all anyone does is leave their fates to the gods. Prayers gets you nowhere, it'll be a hopeless case of bitter disappointment.

"There is no need. This child is smart and will outlive us all."

The woman smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I too believed my children would live long after I'm gone… But the world is unfair. Still, it's every mother's wish that their children will become old and gray and happy."

That's wrong. Azula wanted to say. Ursa knew that Azula's life would never amount to happiness. Ursa knew Azula had to mature faster than others her age, but her body would not reach adulthood when her mother willingly poisoned her grandfather and made her father king. And the world burned for it.

"Your child, what's his name dear?"

Azula did not even know that. She never asked as to remain distant from the child. She merely shook her head in reply. Letting the boy feel any connections to her would only be detrimental to him later.

The woman seemed to eye her with pity. She must've assume the worst in what women suffer in times of war. She looked at Zuko's child with new eyes. The woman named Saya is wrong if she thinks Azula would allow men to have their ways with her. She is more wrong to think the prince in her arms to be a bastard.

Before she could utter a word, Saya says, "My son, I named after my dead father." The woman wriggled with her long worn out sleeves. "He was brave and honourable. My father died for his nation. And like his namesake," she pause looking faroff, "my son was robbed from me. He went to fight in another's wars."

The grey-haired elder continued looking far off into the sea. "I named my daughter Izula. Taken from a prodigious princess of a great nation."

She widened her eyes and did not dare to speak.

Saya fixed Azula's hold on Zuko's child as to keep him from squirming in his sleep. "She was fierce that girl. Beautiful and smart to boot. Just as loud and even more so than this boy here." There was a smile on her wrinkled face, showing years of experience.

Azula held the sleeping two year old in her arms more closely. There is always a but.

Saya's wan face told everything before she admitted it, "my girl is lost to me."

Azula tightened her frown.

"My daughter was willful and free-spirited. I do not have a memory where her and I not argue about the smallest things…" Saya laughed, "that girl was never one to follow traditions." She then shook her head at the memory. "I didn't approve of the man she loved… he was an Earthbender.

"Hatred makes people act in bad judgment. To me, I never did saw what she wanted. How could I when that country took my son, husband and father from me! As if that wasn't enough, my little girl as well. As a mother, I could never let that happen. Yet, all I did was push her further from me until she disappeared from my life, leaving not even a letter..."

Silence passed over the stillness of the sea. They were far from Makapu village, where she found herself almost starved to death after her escape from Ba Sing Se through the Serpent's Pass and crossing into the Great Divide. It was there, that she met Saya and her unnecessary kindness that saved Azula's life.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"You remind me of her." It was simple, Azula knew. Kindness always came from guilt. "I'd finally found her only to discover it was her resting place. I hope she was happy till the end... Still, for the rest of my life, I'll live with the regret of not being the mother that little girl wanted."

"There are worse regrets to live with." She said.

The woman sighed in agreement, "many more will have similar tales with the current civil war and no Fire Lord to bring order."

Azula remained silent. Many blamed Zuko to be the cause of the upheaval to the Fire Nation and the pariah to the fall of the once great empire. Azula suspected the mastermind behind the deterioration of Zuko's regime to be also behind the upraising of the colonies. Fostering onto the world stage two major players fighting to seize the future of the country.

 _Now who would benefit most from this?_

When she try to understand people's motive, Azula plays a game with herself. She assumes the worst. What is the worse reason for them to do what they do? She ask herself - does that reason justify their means? Then everything comes into perspective.

What if these two fractions were manipulated by the man who once called himself Phoenix King? A man who would willingly proceed to burn the Earth Kingdom into oblivion for his ambition? No one taught her to play the game better than her father. All of this, had one purpose. The motive of a crown and a kingdom that would want him back.

Zuko's death was merely a means to an end. It was a stepping stone for the Phoenix to raise from the ashes even with no bending prowess. Ozai would use even the death of his own blood to stomp the fire of defiance and leash control back through the sheer destitution of his people that sought better times of prosperity prior to Zuko's treason. She could see the propaganda the former King would spread; _he_ _is absolution._ This time, the Avatar couldn't take away more than just a dictator's bending, he'd have to take away desperation from a nation on the verge of collapse.

If the most powerful man in the world hesitated to take a single life, exactly how does he plan to stop the thousands willing to die for Ozai to be in power?

"Are you alright?"

Azula had unconsciously stroked the boy's head as her fingers twisted and plays with his silk strands. She didn't want to imagine what plans her father had in store for the boy sleeping in her lap. So Azula reminded herself, courtesy is her armour and her smile is impeccable.

Saya placed a hand on her shoulder, an act of unneeded comfort. "Give your son a good name. A name that will help him find peace in this world."

Azula does not think peace will come anytime soon as long as Ozai remained. From his hair, Azula trailed her hand down the boy's face and really looked at him. No matter how dirty and shrouded in green and brown he was, this child was unmistakably Zuko's. A remnant of family… something to be protected.

"This child already has a name." The only thing he had left, from his deceased parents. She would not take that away from him.

The woman's eyes widened, but she refrained from saying anything more.

So the princess continued on, in a distant voice. "You have never asked why I'm headed there." Azula smiled because she didn't know what else to do but to repay with, "I'm bringing him to see his father." There is no grave, yet there is still a place of death.

"Forgive me for misunderstanding this whole time." Saya gave an apologetic smile. "This gives me hope that I have done some good in this life." She squeezes one of Azula's shoulder in support and newfound cheer. After all, the woman had sheltered her on this hopeless voyage back to a homeland in ruin and ashes. It was the least Azula could do, give hope. False like poison on her tongue.

Her attention is directed to the child in her hold. "Azu…" her nephew mumbles in deep slumber. She held tighter, never telling what she knows so well. For hope is the parent of disappointment and despair and love's another thing for budding hatred.

And she too will have to confront such a retribution soon.

For she'll exchange the boy to come face to face with her dear Father.

* * *

Azula blinked her eyes to rid the dirt that had accumulated. How she hated the dungeons under the palace. The air was still and dreary as she waited for her father to enter the dimly lit cell. The sound of chain rattled from the perpetrator behind the burning of the Hanabi flower shop didn't aid her nerves. The man was gagged after his continuous pleads of knowing nothing. He had risen his voice into shouts and cries as she laid out the various torture devices on the table between them. Her father likes to handle important matter with his own hands. At the moment his paranoia ran indiscriminate. He was peculiarly sensitive to anything related to the Last Supper. He deemed it time to teach her how to keep the castle standing and assassinations at bay.

Azula tried to not look at the person directly and is never more grateful than hearing the steel door opening to see her father's face.

As always his appearance filled the room. The difference is the crown that lays perfectly on top his head. Admiration blooms on Azula's face. She had memorized the portraits of previous Fire Lords, but she thinks the crown fit him best.

Azula never forgetting courtesy, greeted her father with a palm to fist bow. Seeing the approval in his eyes she stepped aside for him to assess the prisoner.

"You will suffer. Death is more lenient than me," he declared without preamble. As expected of her father, the man who is astute in everything he does.

Her king started as she watched. These skills are mandatory of his heir. She never wanted to disappoint. Even in his other unsavoury teachings.

"Azula," nothing else needed to be said with her immediate compliance as she copied her father's exact techniques on the man's other hand. The nails are pulled first, slowly to sustain the pain, next was breaking the fingers, bone by bone.

Azula still recalled the first time she was brought to these small cells. Her first time seeing a man tortured and her first ever lesson in human dissection. It made her vomit, worse were the haunting nightmares. She recalled almost denying her father. It was that horrifying. These lessons started with the curtains falling on the night of the Last Supper, no more than a week ago, but it felt longer with how many bodies she tortured.

The man's scream was suppressed by the jammed dirty cloth in his mouth. She finds it helpful to concentrate on her work.

When she finished, Azula stepped back and her father would judge her work. He said nothing which meant her work was permissible.

"Now let's talk, shall we?" His smile akin to a dragon looking at something beneath him.

Azula reacted quickly by removing the man's gag.

"I'lltellyoueverythingeverything _everything!_ " the chant sounded terrible to her ears.

The Fire Lord voice drop low, "who commanded you to burn the shop?"

"I don' know! Don' know don' know don' kno…"

The man seemed to be delirious from the pain.

"Speak or it will be the toes next."

"N-a woman! Yes! A woman came to me in a bar and paid all in gold for me to destroy the shop!"

"What about her features?"

The prisoner squeeze his eyes tightly shut as to recall.

Her father was getting clearly impatient. "Maybe dip in a bucket of water would help with your memories?"

"N-no! No more! Please! Don' hurt me!" The man cried. She could smell the waste excreted from him.

"She was tall. A tall woman yes! An-and she's plain with a lotus pin in her hair! She smells like it too!" The prisoner whimpered out.

She could see her father's mind analyzing the information like clockworks. Before he barked out a laugh.

"Anything else?"

The blood drained from the man's already pale face. "N-no. I swear that's all I know… I was drunk - the lightin' was bad."

There was a leveled stare from the Fire Lord. Azula observed the situation. She takes everything she hears with a grain of salt, but if her suspicions were right from the evidence she'd gathered so far, then the organization known as the White Lotus was resilience. An objection to her father's rule.

"We are done here."

The man let's out a breath of relief before immediately screamed in pain as he burned within Ozai's fire.

"Come, we have lots to discuss."

Azula looks into her father's burning eyes and she dreaded what is to come when he held such a look. The smell of burning flesh did not help the sickness that wants to burst from her throat.

* * *

" _What?"_ She doesn't even try to temper out the irritation in her voice.

"I did not expect him to send _you_."

Azula scowled, "so why _are_ you here?"

The man hesitated before answering, "I'm the mediator." He looks anywhere but her.

Azula stared in confusion. "What kind of establishment is this?"

" _You don't know?"_ the Advisor sharply turns with voice in exasperation. "How could you not know?" Shock written all over his face.

All she was told was that she would be on a reconnaissance mission to gather sensitive information. Then she was drop here and forced into such a ridiculous outfit. And the next thing she knew, she was in a room with the very man she tried to veer clear of. Likewise, her betrothed seems less than happy to see her.

"This is fucked up." The man whispered under his breath. She couldn't deny how much he looks like Zuko then. The mixture of guilt and helplessness on his features explain less than it should.

She steeled herself for the worse. The man across from her looks conflicted. He's about to say something, but it immediately died in his throat.

" _What?"_

"You should not be here." He managed, looking contrite.

His strange behavior only agitated her more. "I have every rights to be," she gave a confident smirk which she did not feel. "My father send me."

" _No,"_ he said harshly. "You don't understand what you're giving up."

She had enough of skimming over the topic, "and what is that?"

The man bit out, _"why you're here."_

"I have no reasons to. My father tells me where I go, I go."

With those words, the Advisor appeared to comprehend, almost as well as her.

"I did not know this would happen." He says. "None of this."

The princess didn't get his meaning until a fat, sweaty man came into the room with a predatory smile on his face.

"She's perfect Advisor Kyou. Right age and size. You're a man of your words."

Azula did not like his sneezy, excited tone. She rather be far from all this.

Her father's advisor changed drastically. He held a pleasant smile and a natural grace as if he was born with it. "Then the information on the White Lotus?"

"Yes, yes. They're yours."

Both men ignored her entirely as if she were the numerous flower arrangements in the room. Decorated and molded to look pretty and nothing else.

But she is here, and she has her own mind to comprehend her sex is her liability. Her father thought otherwise. That's why he send her. Yet, Azula denies that Father would do this to her. _He would not disgrace his own daughter like this. She was a princess of the Fire Nation!_

The fat greasy man grinned at her. "Now that makes you mine, sweetheart."

All the makeup masked her fear. Azula, learned yet another valuable lesson from Father. She is a tool, a weapon to be used. And when she served her purpose… she'll be disposed of.

 _She won't let that happen._ For she is a dragon in her element, there is fire in her blood and steel in her veins. _She was trained for this._

Like father, she'll use everything to get what she wants.

So she must live through this too.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

For Want of A Nail describes a situation in which a failure to anticipate or correct some initially small dysfunction leads by successively more critical stages to an egregious outcome. This 0.5 chapter is part one of For Want of a Nail.

If you haven't noticed, this chapter was heavily influenced by Game of Thrones. I'm obsess with the show/books lately!

P.S. Reviews are my source of how long and quick I update. I already have the next one plan so if I get enough reviews I'll have it out next month ;)


	9. Terrible People

**Chapter 7: Terrible People**

Edited July 1st, 2018.

 _Note: The Italic are Ursa's last letter to Iroh._

* * *

" _Dearest Iroh, how are you?"_

After the loss of his son, he defied his father order to return, and instead left on a journey. He was too wary to go back to that home. He didn't know where, but being anywhere but there, was a good justification for not seeing _her_. He ventured with reckless abandon and even landed himself in a place that should have only been travelled to after death. It started as a hopeless journey, but it became his source of life.

Even if he thought he was away from it all, alone at the edge of the world, her letters still managed to reach him. It was his joy and despair all neatly wrapped in parchments and cursive characters. He missed her, but he could not bring himself to go back. Yet, her last letter was disconcerting.

" _I find myself often walking in the gardens. You must come and see."_

Coming back to civilization, he felt like he came back to a different world.

His father was dead.

And his brother, King.

The travel back only worsened his distress. The closer he got, the more dreadful it seemed. Not long after Ozai came to power, disaster struck. Half the Fire Nation's court was crippled from poison, leaving his nephew comatose and his people purged indiscriminately. Worse, people blamed Ursa's disappearance to have triggered these horrible events, until she too was found dead underneath her flowerbeds with five other bodies dismembered.

The rumour mill didn't stop there. Some believed Ursa committed suicide simply because she couldn't withstand the guilt of being the one behind the poison plot - others theorized that her spirit had cursed the nation. Fingers were pointing. The seed of fear was planted, fostering distrust and paranoia. This was similar to that of a losing army. He knew too well, what would happen next.

Discontent, is like a weed. It grows and doesn't wilt. If nothing is done, the unrest would ripe into a fruit of chaos.

Iroh knew that with his arrival at the western port town, his reappearance would immediately be signified to the nation. Upon his first step on Fire Nation soil, he was ushered by his father's loyal fraction into a meeting room. This was exactly why he had hesitated coming back, he would've waited longer until Ozai's regime was stable, but it didn't prove to be anytime soon, if the rumours were to be believed. Yet, the reason which compelled him rushing back was to confirm if Ursa was truly dead.

It didn't make any sense. Ursa committing suicide? Impossible, especially if her precious boy would then be under her husband's care.

Yet, what he did understand were the men at court - or what was left of them. Talk about taking his rightful place were spoken not too softly in the shadows of privacy. Plans on taking the crown were in motion. Words of high treason flew above their heads. As if the country right now needed another battle of succession when people were being killed like flies.

He crushed those venomous notions before more lives could be taken. He did not want the crown.

"I will not take my brother's crown. My father's will made that very clear. These discussions and plans will be halted immediately."

Before anyone could voice their objections he left and didn't look back.

" _Your presence is sorely missed. The people wished to see their Dragon of the West home."_

* * *

The stench is putrid. The sight even worse; more dreadful than the stories. Holes are dug for the blackened bodies, making them seems like bottomless pits. He sees what his nation has become in his absence. It is a sad sight once he passed through the city gates.

Nothing is more final than hearing them closed behind. He is home, yet it doesn't feel like he belonged.

" _Much has changed. Much you do not know."_

* * *

He refused one, and another one followed. Even when he was grieving in the Dragonbone Catacombs beneath the Capital Temple, he couldn't find a place where court intrigues didn't seep itself in. Iroh thought he could get away in a place known for its sacred sanctuary, at the very least - or in the far depths of the crypts to not be found. He had vastly understatement the people of his nation.

"Grand Lotus."

Iroh opened his eyes and turned towards the woman with the lotus pin.

"It's good to see you Lady Shiori."

She greeted him with a polite smile, "It has been long, my prince."

Silence passed between them.

He was the first to break the tension. "How have you been?"

She moved closer, altogether disregarding formality. "Not as great as you would've hoped, Iroh."

He immediately understood the reason for her appearance. He wished to be anywhere but here; looking at his father's tomb while avoiding the unpleasant conversation with a childhood friend. "Even if they send you to convince me, I will not take the crown."

"But you _must._ "

"You're talking about usurping the throne. You know as well as I do, that this move will fruit chaos. We will start a _war_ in a country we are trying to _protect_." He shook his head, "I have only known war. I have enough of it."

Her demeanour told him she would not hear it. "It's not a coup that will allow such mistakes." She stood beside him with a hand on his shoulder, "We can all count the things that are _not_ lost to us on one hand. Yet, those things are at stake if you don't do what you must." She slid her hand up his cheek, "The Avatar will not protect us. You must be the one to bring balance to the world."

He stared at her. Unable to imagine the girl who could not stand the sight of blood to suggest these things. Her younger self would be appalled.

So he remained firm for them both. "I cannot." He didn't want to be the catalyst - he cannot bring himself to exile Ursa's children or imprison his brother. He didn't want to ruin what's left of his family. Or bring more grief to his countrymen. He has lost too much to bring himself to lose more. He would not play the game.

"Surely, you know your people loves you. This will be bloodless." She insisted.

"No. Shiori." There will always be defiance. And those fires in the dark will likely be stomped out in the shadows. Many will die, even if neither side wish it. That's the lesson war has taught him.

She immediately let go of him and distanced herself. "Nothing seems to bother you, does it?" The friend that has always taken his side bit out harshly. "You've run away from your responsibilities all your life, and now when your people needs you, you'll run from that too."

Iroh tightened his fists. Fire in the crypts glowed bright. "Bother? When you're born a Crown Prince to a country such as this, you'll see things that you must teach yourself not to care for." Iroh looked at her with firm resolution, "I _do not_ let them bother me. That protects many that will be harmed if I intervened."

Tears shimmered in her eyes as Shiori tightly closed her eyes to contain her fury. "Not all of us has the freedom. We do not have a choice to not look and run from the filth of the Caldera. You don't know how bad it has been here. You know nothing!"

Iroh staggered back, shocked. Shiori was never one to raise her voice without reason. She was never one to show distress so clearly. He came closer to her in an act of comfort.

"What are you not telling me?"

On closer inspection he saw both her hands tightly clenched together, her nails digging into soft flesh and red dripping to the ground. He saw her pulling herself together with eyes full of fear when their eyes locked.

There was hesitation as she bit her lip before whispering, "The Fire Lord is on a manhunt." The very notion was ghastly. "The entire nobility approves of such a public stunt of violence." Nothing was enough for them, it would seem.

"Who… who are...?" He could not finish for he feared the answer that would follow. Somehow he knew. He knew, but it must be confirmed by her lips.

"The White Lotus." Her words were a distant ring to him. _His friends…_ He's to blame if they were hunted for a crime they did not commit.

There was nothing else to say, all he could give were empty words of apologies. He was the one that dragged her into this. It was his fault she had been living in constant fear.

"...I- I don't understand." His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry - I didn't know. How did this…? _W-why?"_

Shiori let out a horrible sounding laugh. "You must've been somewhere _far_ if you haven't heard."

A flicker of fire lit her eyes as she declared, "They believed we're behind the Last Supper."

"W-what!?"

"They salvaged a list of clients in the ruin of the flower shop that had held the poison - they have testimonies from captures and hostages." She approached him, more frightened than ever. "You know how relentless your brother is." She held fast to his arm, her nails digging deep, "He won't stop until his enemies are vanquished. With fire and blood he'll get his way! _Ozai must be stop._ "

Her words craved destruction. A fire of hatred and anger. Iroh swallowed, he learnt better. There is life and warmth in the flames. He must be the start. He must break the cycle.

"If we do this… _there will be nothing but_ _fire and blood."_

She held the same hopeful adoration as she once did years ago when he came back having heard he slayed the last dragon.

"I cannot." He uttered forlornly.

Iroh could see the disappointment, a crushed of a dream with her features morphing into outrage. She could not stand to look at him now.

"Then watch as war ravages these lands. Watch as your people die. Watch as all you loved fall at your feet." She snarled, "and when you do, remember this moment. Know that you have failed them and live with this regret for all eternity. Watch, knowing you could've stopped it all." It was her curse to him.

But Iroh could not yield. What she wanted was something dark and wrong. It would only foster hatred than salvation.

"Wait Shiori!"

She did not turn back.

"At least let me help you escape to somewhere safe!" He held out a hand.

Her back remained turned when she answered, "And leave my people behind? Never. I had enough pretending this doesn't bother me. I can't do it anymore." Torches burned in the silence. "There is no safety anywhere if Ozai remains on the throne. Either way, I'll get you your crown. You won't have a choice then."

The crypts remained eerily still, with the sound of her distant steps. Dread took over as he saw the last glance she took before he could see her shadow no more. Shiori will risk everything to bring his brother down. She was determined to die for the cause. Plans were in motion and halting it now was like walking into an inferno. He had to calm the flames, before it was too late.

" _You're a good man Iroh. If only you were here, you would've stopped this. A terrible deed will take place. One I know you'll be able to repair."_

* * *

He cannot delay any longer.

" _Did you know there is sanctuary in this world? A place even the Fire Nation cannot touch? I longed for such a thing. Yet I would need to sacrifice my heart to gain such freedom."_

Iroh greeted his brother in the grand clambers. The Dragon Throne never looked more oppressively imposing than it does now. Ozai displayed the might of his power with flames blazing hot, and the entire might of his army at his side. Generals and admirals looking alert and guarded.

A lot had happened for the court to be on its toes. Taste testers were frequently seen, with as much servants being wary on his way here. The tension could be cut with a butter knife.

He noticed his niece sitting on the high seat, where the Crown Prince should've been. He didn't see his nephew. This brought concern.

With formality given he got to the heart of things, "How is Prince Zuko?"

Ozai's golden eyes gleamed with flames shifting the shadows on his face. The blazing fire behind the throne seems to suck the air they breath. When the Fire Lord answer, he doesn't give much. "Weak." Ozai states, "but he lives."

His little brother stare him down from his high seat. Iroh kept his gaze. Courtesy has courtiers keep their eyes below the Fire Lord shoulders as a form of respect. People in lower positions may not rise or even look at their sovereign unless they are given permission. Iroh is a prince in his own rights, the title lets him get away with most things.

There is a long pause of silence. He sees the others shift uncomfortably. It was clear on some of their faces that this was not the whole story. He concluded: Zuko wasn't informed to come.

Ursa often mentioned it in her letters. It was her constant source of topic. It was more apparent than ever. His brother never liked his eldest, especially when he learnt of Zuko's lack of bending talents. Iroh saw it for what it was. Ozai was using Zuko's condition to exclude him from court, while putting his true heir on display.

The girl smiled down, condescending. Iroh saw the source of Ursa's concerns clearly. Another constant in her worries. If the girl was anything like her father, then she'd be brilliant, beautifully deadly and dangerously unstable. He feared for her future as much as her mother did.

"You don't seem happy brother?" Ozai says at last. There was an ugly emotion shining in the Fire Lord's eyes. Iroh didn't know what to make of it. Why his sibling despised him, when it should be him that should hate the brother that had stolen the woman he loved.

Iroh reply with a polite smiled instead. "I cannot let my worries ease unless I see him." The Dragon of the West felt immediate regret as the words left his mouth.

Ozai level stare was replace with a sneer, "You can be assured to find that boy in his mother's garden."

This allowed Iroh to asked, "When I visited our father, why did I not find Princess Ursa there?"

The entire court held their breath. The throne burned bright and deadly.

"Because she's not dead. And if she was, would you bury our father with his killer?"

Iroh didn't know if he should feel relieved or angered. He decided to contain both.

"Fire Lord, that is not yet certain. The princess was a kind, gentle soul. It is not within her character to commit such a horrific deed." Iroh would do anything, even give up his life to defend her honor.

Ozai laughed. He did not stop. There were so many hidden things left unsaid that Iroh's stomach twisted in knots at the crazed sound that rung through the grand hall.

When Ozai stopped, he stared at him. If looks could kill, he knew his brother would not hesitate to do it then. "Yes, well. That woman seemed to have everyone wrapped around her fingers seeing as she is so hard to locate. Being the fugitive she is, she will have the honor of a trial. She is after all Fire Lady and _my wife._ "

Ozai stresses the last word to gnaw at Iroh. And it does, but he nods instead, not wanting to unhinge Ozai any further. He was glad he burnt her letters more than anything else. Her last words told him she will head to Ba Sing Se, the safest place she could be with the Fire Lord on her tail.

"Therefore I would like you, brother to track her down for me. Family is the only thing we can trust after all."

Iroh agrees. "Family is everything." Even one like his, Iroh still find it in himself to love her children.

Although the Great General saw Ozai's machinations, he was thankful he wouldn't die in his sleep anytime soon. The Fire Lord wanted Iroh gone, to be rid of the possibility that he'd usurp his reign. The previous Crown Prince's mere presence, would cause the unstable rule to be catalyzed. This was better than Ozai forcing his hand to fight his own blood, Iroh reasoned. It would allow him greater freedom than being caged by Ozai's rule.

He accepted. "It would be my honor, Fire Lord Ozai."

The Dragon of the West bowed and offered as much deference as he can.

This was to show the court that he shall be part of no coup.

" _The gates are closed to my children. I fear they will be subjected to far worse cruelties than children must. For my daughter, I worry. She is resembling her father more and more each day. My son… my poor boy will suffer. This I know."_

* * *

His friend came to him immediately after he had left court. They ventured into the courtyard in comfortable companionship.

"It's good to see you're well."

Iroh saw a new found light in the man. "Not so much as you, Piandao. You've became younger than when we last met." Iroh patted him in good gesture.

Piandao only held his cryptic smile. "I have found hope my dear friend."

Iroh looked at his companion quizzically. Hope in the shit storm that had engulfed this nation? Where in such a place, was the swordmaster looking, especially when he was in the center of the most vilest corruption that palace life has to offer?

"I am glad for you." Iroh said instead. Unsure, how much he could divulge being in such open space.

He could tell the swordmaster wanted to give him more. "Hope can stare you right in the face and you would not know, while talents are hidden in clear sight."

And Iroh understood, as much as Piandao was willing to give.

There is hope for this nation yet.

" _You are my hope. I know you will do good by them. Make my boy a good man, Iroh. Greatness will only cause that boy harm."_

* * *

His nephew extended a cup of tea and a question.

"How was your journey Uncle?"

"I should be asking you, Nephew." Iroh studied the boy. "How have you been?"

Zuko only wrinkled his nose and averted his eyes. "They say I almost crossed into the Spirit World." He tried at jest - it ran dry between them, "But you've been there and came back! That's amazing Uncle!"

His nephew's cheerful demeanour rang false to Iroh. It was Zuko's facade to hide the topic at hand. No boy his age should have experienced what he did, so Iroh let it slide for now. But he knew Zuko needed someone to talk to about his near death experience, so it wouldn't bottle up and eat at him from the inside out. Iroh would let his nephew know that he is here for him.

"Rumors are often exaggerated, Prince Zuko." He frowned at the vultures swirling around the city, "I was simply finding time to recuperate, like you've been doing. During my travel I had met wonderful people and great listeners, they really helped me along the way."

Zuko moved uncomfortably in his seat. "What are you implying Uncle?"

Iroh reached out to grab the prince's hand and squeezed. "It's alright to feel scared, you have every reason to be. You don't have to be strong in front of me."

He could feel Zuko tightening his fist in his grip.

His nephew looked unsure before something passed his expression and the boy was smiling childishly back, "You don't have to worry. I'm fine."

"I know about your nightmares Prince Zuko."

This, he could tell has landed him on a landmine. Zuko visibly closed himself off. There was a wall that had sprung due to his carelessness trying to take this too fast, too soon.

Iroh sighed. There was nothing he could do, but wait patiently until his nephew opens up to him slowly. Instead of pushing, he should give space for the path to give way. So he took a sip of his tea, finding it surprisingly catered to his taste. "I must say, if nothing else I'm surprise the palace tea has gotten better."

Zuko grinned at him. "Thanks Uncle."

Iroh raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me… you made this?"

The boy laughed brilliantly. "I knew you would like it. Ginseng has always been your favourite."

"My, you certainly have the talents and the memory! You can certainly start a teahouse with your skills and considerations."

"Uncle," with a devious grin the prince stated, "I'll take your word for it. Don't regret it later."

Iroh smiled wide. "I'll be your number one customer."

"I hope you're not my only customer!"

Iroh stared at his nephew in astonishment. Last he seen the boy, he was moody and could barely take a joke, much less make his own. They both laughed. For the first time since coming back home, Iroh lets out a jovial sound enjoying the beautiful weather and the presence of someone without a motive.

"How clueless you are Uncle."

The sudden comment stopped all cheer. Iroh watched as his niece stepped into the pavilion with her two handmaidens. He saw Zuko's sudden blank expression, which only caused more concern.

The princess placed herself regally into a seat between the two. She gestured with a light flick of her hand and one of her maid poured the drink into her cup. They all watched as the handmaiden took a slip of the drink, waited a few seconds before cleansing the spot she drank from.

"It is not poisoned princess." She says demurely before placing it in front of Azula and took her position at the back. His niece then leisurely brought the china to her lips and stared at him deviously.

"Of course my brother is good at something which he does everyday." Iroh listened but his eyes remained on his nephew. "He doesn't consume anything unless he makes it himself or watches it made. He has a soft spot for taste testers you see."

Iroh inhaled sharply. This was worse than he thought. "Is this true Nephew?"

He saw the prince glaring at his sister before looking at him and shaking his head. "Of course not. Azula is exaggerating." He whistled, and in an instant, a beast of a bird swooped into the pavilion, landing on his nephew's gloved arm.

"I have Suzaku." Zuko's implication was displayed when he feed the black golden-feathered bird the fruits and pieces of bread outlandishly piled on the marble table.

Iroh looked at the magnificent raven-eagle in slight awe and could not imagine Ozai giving it to his eldest. The bird is rare and _dangerous_ if not trained properly. Ursa would never allow Zuko to keep such a creature near.

"Prince Zuko who gifted you such an impressive creature?"

Azula tries to muffle her laugh. "Tell him. Tell him how that stupid bird came into your care, brother."

Iroh watched amazed, the boy hasn't darken from the jab, instead the prince light a smile, "Suzaku was given to me by my loving sister." This would have anyone listening in disbelief, clearly demonstrated by the surrounding servants. Zuko didn't seem to notice and continued, "She found him injured and I brought him to nurse those injuries."

What is more astonishing than Zuko's answer was Azula showing clear annoyance at her brother for ruining her fun.

"Wrong," she corrected, "I was about to kill the stupid thing before you got in my way and whined about keeping it."

That made more sense. But what came after didn't.

"I think back on it fondly, my whining worked and you didn't end up killing him did you?"

Azula hissed, but said nothing else.

Since when did his nephew learn to handle Azula so well? Or rather, outpace her?

"Suzaku go," was all that was needed for the bird to fly off into the distant. Iroh could tell that it was well-trained, or unconditionally loyal from the story he was told. It would be something to be reckoned with, once it grew to its full size. Iroh knew since he has met a bounty hunter with such a smart beast once. Zuko was very lucky to find such a companion. He could tell how protective the creature was of Zuko as if it was a parent overseeing its kin.

"Anyways. Since you weren't there, you mustn't have heard. But our Uncle here have been given the privilege of looking for our dear missing mother Zuzu."

Iroh noticed the shift in the air. Zuko looked to be containing himself. "Really?" Voice cryptic, he raised an eyebrow and brought a fire fruit to his lips before sinking his teeth into it.

"Would I lie to you?"

Zuko chuckled as he licked off the red juice on his thumb and index finger.

"Sis, you always lie." It was said almost fondly and with a strange air of nostalgia from the prince.

Iroh felt uncomfortable like he was intruding on something private. The once Great General cleared his throat and replied, "Do not worry you two. Your mother is innocent. I'll have her back in no time." It was an empty promise, he knew. Ursa had finally gained her freedom. He could not bring himself to capture her if she didn't wish so, especially if she were to be sent to her death with the current state of her nation. But he swore he shall reunite her with her children one day.

"Isn't that kind of you Uncle. Now if only you knew where she was, that would be more helpful." Azula said as she returned her attention back to Zuko. "How about you help our poor Uncle out brother?"

Zuko smiled in apology. "If only I could."

His niece rolled her eyes and rebuked, "You can, you just don't want to."

Iroh held a look of puzzlement. Azula is clearly pointing to Zuko having known something about Ursa.

Azula smirked looking at him, "You can practically see Uncle piecing it together! Zuzu you better tell him."

"Nephew what aren't you telling me?"

Zuko only stared down the mass of food still left untouched.

"Zuko." Iroh encouraged.

The boy finally gave in and said, "Mother came to me in my chambers the night before she disappeared."

In the corner of Iroh's eyes he noticed Azula tensing. His niece looked at her brother with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"She came and woke me up. She hugged me and said I should always stay true to myself." Zuko seemed far and distant. "Then she left and I was too sleepy to realize that would've been the last time I would see her." There was a choke cry at the end. The prince rubbed at his eyes and looked down at his plate of barely half eaten food.

Iroh stood and embraced the boy. He looked at Azula and said, "You shouldn't have teased your brother like that. He's still recovering."

His niece chewed her lips looking absolutely livid at Zuko. The harsh screech of her chair was all the indication needed before she strode out in fury. Her handmaidens were hesitant before tailing after their princess.

Before he could think to piece anything together his nephew held his attention.

"Azula believes I know more… but I don't! You must believe me Uncle! If I knew more I would tell! How could I not, when I miss her so much!" Zuko clinges to him with tears in his eyes, tone desperate. Iroh could only smile ruefully.

"I know Nephew…" He consoled. "I know."

The pain never truly fades.

" _Promise me Iroh. Promise me you will protect my children. I leave my heart in your hands."_

Ursa was gone, yet her presence remains.

* * *

Author's Notes: What do you guys think? Any predictions for upcoming chapters?

Also please review because it's my source for faster updates!


	10. Black Sea

Chapter 8: **Black Sea**

Piandao assumed the appearance of mediation in the empty hall of the Dojo to contemplate the state of the storm and how it had worsened with the arrival of his old friend. He knew Iroh would not appear without a reason, but that reason would surely cost this nation more bloodshed than it could bare. The mere fact, that Iroh is the first born and by birthright should have been Fire Lord, brewed a storm in itself. It is however, fortunate that the General had come with the intention to placate in the aftermath of the Last Supper trial.

Piandao suspected there to be a traitor within the White Lotus ranks for Zhao to have discovered its pawn members, tailed them and in doing so came back with bigger fishes to fry - all in the span of days, executed by Kyou's orders. It was disconcerting how the White Lotus members were fed what to say in the trial testimonies in order to spare their families from the errors of the Crown.

Advisor Kyou is a clever man. The mere fact that he was in charge of the investigation, Piandao has no doubt he was the culprit to have planted evidence that would prosecute the Order. Effectively, switching the scapegoat so that he could be taken out of the limelight. Kyou not only rejected the ancient Order of the White Lotus, which transcended the boundaries of Four Nations being all that is good and fair, no the Advisor had _framed_ what is ancient and powerful. The only thing that it had cost him was the rest of his career. A lesser person in Kyou's circumstances would've received the death sentence.

Piandao's thoughts receded, as he heard footsteps on polished wood.

"This place hasn't changed as do you, my friend."

The swordmaster opened one eye recognizing the voice. There was a quirk of a smile on his lips as he remarked, "The constant is your stubbornness Iroh."

His friend had aged more than he'd remembered since their last meeting.

"Tell me," Piandao stated more seriously, "Why _have_ you returned?"

Instead of answering, the Dragon of the West sat cross-legged beside him with a callous hand pinching the bridge of his nose. There was a long exhausted sigh that came after. Piandao waited patiently.

"You might think I'm foolish, but I came back for Zuko."

Piandao recognized the look in Iroh's eyes. He knew only one thing that could make the Great General stupidly determined enough to have risked coming back to a place, which only brought him great sadness.

"You do not owe her anything Iroh."

Iroh looked at him almost offended. "I owe her my life."

"Which you have repaid more than enough." Piandao was resolved to make Iroh see reason. His friend had been trapped in an eternal prison of his own making for far too long.

Iroh shook his head. "I can't leave her son to suffer. Not after all her letters about his nightmares… not when I promised her."

"Iroh, the boy is stronger than you know."

"Piandao," a fire had awoken in Iroh as he proclaimed, "a child has crossed paths with death and you think he'll be fine after that?"

Piandao understood Iroh's meaning. Zuko had been distant lately. Often avoiding interactions, instead choosing to remain in his mother's garden in silence, for long periods of time.

"I think you do not know the boy as as well as you used to." Piandao answered instead. "You've been gone long." The swordmaster paused to reaffirm the importance of his next sentence. "Nothing is as it is anymore. People move on and change." The wise master stared his friend in the eyes. "You're the only one clinging to the past."

He could see anger and hurt in Iroh's features. The general remained still for a long time before he brought his palms to his face in a shell of protection. Piandao looked beyond the man in his shell of denial to a time when this man was a Crown Prince full of arrogance and pride. A boy who was born to rule holding unparalleled confidence at his fingertips. Iroh was not that person anymore. He had become better than that. Better… but broken and scarred nonetheless. It is the so called price for retaining a hopeless affection. A paper love.

"Then what should I do?" His friend finally asked warily.

"I can only advise you. I can make you do nothing you do not want." He answered. Iroh needed to realize for himself in order to move on.

His companion's face wrinkled in thoughts staring hard at the polished wood. "I have failed her. I will not fail her son."

Piandao raised an eyebrow.

"I'm to head out in a week on an extended mission to bring Ursa home. I want to bring Zuko with me." Iroh looked at him in search of answers.

It is apparent what Iroh's true intentions were, having accepted such an impossible mission for himself. His goal was not to find Ursa, no. It was an excuse to bring Zuko into his care.

Piandao stared off into the distance, recalling his time with the boy. Zuko was a talented child; mastering both the duel blades and the long sword with fire and lightning at his disposal. The swordmaster suspected he was just as clever. This thought somehow worried him. He was afraid for Iroh's sake. For Zuko is Ursa's boy and from past experiences, Iroh remained to be blind by the woman's machinations. Therefore, it's no exception that Iroh would pass a blind eye to Zuko's actions. A parent must discipline their child and Prince Zuko needed a father figure.

Piandao advised, "Zuko is not his mother." Yet, the boy still has his parent's blood. So he warned, "The prince is his own person and has his own motivations that shapes his view of the world. So don't underestimate him Iroh. He's capable."

The Dragon of the West gauged him with a stern eye and nodded in understanding.

"Your speech is just as cryptic as always." Iroh chuckled with hands tucked in his long sleeves. "But we can both agree that it would do Zuko good to see the world, rather than being locked within this nation."

Piandao closed his eyes and he could see a future without wars and broken things. With resolve he declared, "The prince is bright, if taught right he shall be the greatest Fire Lord in the history of the Fire Nation." The ways of this country needed to change. In order to do so, it needed a good and compassionate ruler to guide it back into balance in a world without an Avatar.

His friend looked at him in disbelief. "What did Zuko do to gain such admiration from you?"

Piandao recalled the confidence in each of the Prince's strikes. His form perfect, and without hesitation, there was a fluid beauty and what seemed to be years of experience from his sword form that made Piandao swell with pride. There was no doubt in his words. "He is the light that will guide us to peace Iroh. Our Prince has great potential."

He did not comment on the rueful smile Iroh has. He did not want to know. Yet his friend had the tendency to confess his guilt. "Piandao… I plan to raise Zuko to be a good man. I do not plan to make him great."

Now it was the swordmaster that showed disbelief in a person he thought he knew. "If you do that to the boy, it would be the same as his father neglecting him. You will be worse than Ozai."

"Do not test me Piandao." Iroh drawled deadly, "Don't ever compare me to _him_. I am not heartless."

Piandao met the Great Dragon of the West eye to eye, unfazed. "You will be if you continue to turn a blind eye to everything around you. You are just as responsible as those that torment the weak by doing nothing." (Even a bystander has their own crimes.)

Iroh clenched his fists, turning them knuckle-white with the contrast of blue veins. "Doing something will only make it worse. My brother will destroy the boy if he even catches his eyes. I am protecting him."

"Before that, you will ruin him for any possible chance of greatness. I will come with, if Zuko agrees to go with you."

Iroh hissed, "You will lead him down a path of hardships and sorrow."

"You do not know that my friend. As his Sifu I'm only to act as a moral compass. It's his choice to make of his life." He rebuked before stepping out of the Dojo.

But not before hearing Iroh whisper, "You are not his father… and neither am I."

* * *

Expectedly, Iroh found Zuko at the pavilion overseeing the garden, however he was surprised to see his nephew in the midst of tension with the previous Hand of the Fire Lord. Both parties noticed his entrance as he inquired, "What's going on here?"

"Advisor Kyou was just leaving, Uncle." His nephew turned displaying a bright smile.

"Yes, it's about time I left." The Advisor's tone was pleasant enough, however his eyes were cold stones. Iroh was missing something, but he did not know what.

"Enjoy the rest of your retirement Advisor Kyou."

His nephew's reply seemed quite unnecessary to Iroh. It was as if Zuko had aimed for it to sting.

"I will." Kyou turned and without a glance remarked, "While it lasts."

Something important just took place and it completely passed over Iroh's head when Zuko lets out a sigh of relief as he eased into his cushioned chair.

"Uncle, what brings you here?"

Iroh remembered his purpose in seeking out his nephew. He answered, "It's something I hope you'll agree with." Iroh did not want to start too strong least he scared Zuko away from the prospect of having a life away from here.

The prince furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "I'm not getting it." He then took to seat himself straighter to demonstrate Iroh has his full attention.

"What I'm saying is that your body needs recuperating elsewhere. Methods far better than staying here all day."

"What are you saying?" His 10 year old nephew tilted his head to the side innocently.

"Would you like to travel the world with me… in search of your mother?"

There was no easier way to put it and as expected Zuko was wide-eyed and speechless.

The boy remained still as a statute before he tackled the Great General with a crushing hug.

"You're the best!" It was uttered in a breathless rush of air. Zuko's reaction was better than he would ever imagined.

Iroh patted Zuko's back with a happy expression of his own, "But first focus on getting some strengths in you. And eat! You look like a stick my dear boy!"

Zuko laughed in his right ear full of excitment and happiness. Iroh has disappointed many since his return, but he felt he at least could do right by this boy. Iroh regards Zuko as his own son and hoped this journey will do them both good.

* * *

Zhao thinks it has been a fruitful month. He prospered in chaos. Opportunities rolled in with all of the untimely deaths. Seats needed to be filled, making promotion in the ranks easily accessible. He knew it was a prime time to reap all the benefits. Only fools would not use this golden time to better themselves.

As expected, General Hua approach him after the council. "Rear Admiral Zhao, congratulations on apprehending the threats within our borders."

"Indeed, I'm delighted to have spared Advisor Kyou from unjust accusations and imminent death." Zhao rolled his eyes and spoke sardonically. The trial was rigged and the culprit(s) was still on the loose - however, it was a good chance for a quick promotion by pinning the Savage Garden incident on the Order. He needed to seize opportunities when they arose or he'd be a roasted duck with a cold case.

Hua laughed boldly. "The boy got better than he deserved."

A lifetime under house arrest pretty much summed to a death sentence to Zhao. Now, if only the boy stayed there. Which he doubted, but it was safer as it is than having that boy be Hand to the Fire Lord and continue with that crazy experiment of his.

Zhao followed along with Hua's mood and complimented, "You have done well yourself, Commander of the Royal Guards."

"It's a mere decorated title." They both knew that wasn't the case anymore.

"It was, until recent events prove otherwise."

Hua stroked his goatee and said, "I'm in a bit of a bind due to it."

Zhao did not doubt that. The responsibility lay heavily on guarding what remained of the Royal family. Especially from the display of lacking half a court. To add, Hua just saw what became of his predecessors yesterday, the memories still fresh in everyone's mind after witnessing those on death row.

"Only a man as accomplished as you are, can take the mantle of such a demanding position." The words sounded sickly sweet, even to his own ears.

Hua shook his head. "Walk with me."

Zhao raised a brow in question before silently following the man into the many empty rooms of the palace.

Reaching their destination, sat Jian. The Fleet Admiral calmly drinking tea with a man he has yet to make acquaintance with.

"Gentlemen." He made his presence known with a bow as Hua briskly sat himself beside the mystery man.

"Zhao come sit with us." Jian gave permission for him to raise his head.

Zhao nodded and took the left from Jian. He knew there is a cost to be sitting with such influential men.

The Rear Admiral stared across the table to the tan skin man still slipping tea. Both Jian and Hua pretends to remain nonchalant but their eyes were gauging him all the same, so Zhao made an effort to start, "I apologize but I did not have the pleasure of making your acquaintance."

"Is it not polite to introduce yourself first before asking for others?" The stranger asked with a hard stare.

Zhao held his smile tight, as he tried not to let anger overtake him.

"Of course, forgive me. I am Rear Admiral Zhao, in charge of the 41st squadron."

"I see. The newest division."

Zhao's eyebrow ticked, "and you are?" If this man's station was below his, (which Zhao seriously doubted) he'd be sure to give a thorough discipline.

"Piandao. A swordmaster to the Crown Prince."

He did not have time to contemplate being in the presence of one of the greatest war heroes in the Fire Nation when the man said, "Are you and your crew up for an extended search mission?"

Zhao was never one to be speechless.

* * *

"Are you sure he's the most ideal for this?"

"Do not worry Piandao. He's the best."

"Jian, this is the Crown Prince we are protecting. Having a recently promoted Rear Admiral and a new crew to watch His Highness on his first journey is unwise."

"How long have we known each other Piandao?"

The swordmaster smile fondly, "Longer than I cared to admit."

"Then believe me when I say Zhao is best with you."

"Jian is right." Hua finally commented. "That man is no good here. Especially in close liege with that _boy_." The new Commander of the Royal Guards huffed as he drowned his cup. "Less work for me to keep track of all the vipers in this pit."

Jian laughed, "Having him away from the Capital is best for the stability of the Homeland. And I did not lie when I said he's the best. He's most effective at sea."

"Quite frankly, predictable as well." Hua suggested, which translates to: much easier to control.

Piandao looked between the two comrades who had faced countless battles with him and nodded. What war taught him was more than just battle experience, but people.

 _Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer._

* * *

In her years in the Royal City, Azula relentlessly trained with masters in all forms of martial arts and bending techniques, she studied rigorously with her mentors at home and at the Academy for Girls. She played games with her followers, and watched her father bring concubines to his bed, and then sent them away to lure maids when he was truly bored. She notices the slight bump in their stomach and their immediate disappearances.

She learns her father never does things halfway. So she mustn't either.

Often Azula watched Iroh watch Ursa, with a mixture of sorrow and joy in his eyes, and something incomprehensible in between. She saw her mother giving the exact same look to her brother and it took her the longest time to comprehend what those looks meant.

It came to her when her mother preached about love and beauty and whatever kindness would bring to her crying brother. It was what a look of love looked like.

She believed she looked at her father in such a way. But never once had he exhibited such a thing for her. So Azula trained and trained and _trained_ until she vomited and continued, so that her father would look at her in such a way because she could never expect it from her mother. The woman thought she was a monster. Azula didn't blame her when she almost burnt Ursa because she could not control her flames in its initial spark.

When she finally did receive her father's love, she was invited to his bed. It was not the love she wanted, but it was the only love she'd got. He said it's another form of training. Azula held onto it like a lifeline.

Her father finally put her to the test with that fat, horrible smelling man with the beady eyes. He held her with sweaty hands and panting breaths. She numbed herself and at the animal's most vulnerable, she struck and red poured. The memories repulsed her. She put it at the far recess of her mind and concentrated on the present.

She watched the new servant boy tending to her brother's affliction. The servant boy was trained well to keep his eyes down. It was expected of his station, but he was not stupid to not notice her gaze on him. She licked her bottom lip tasting the discomfort pouring out of him.

The attendant quickly finished her brother's half braid updo. Took a step back, bowed obediently and excused himself to remain outside her brother's door.

Azula brought her attention back to Zuko when the boy closed the double doors in a hurried rush. Before that, she'd caught his eyes, there was something intriguing the way they shifted. Everyone held secrets, some more than others. What Azula loves is to dig and pry the darkest parts out in the open.

"You're awfully interested in my new attendent, Sis."

"I am." She stated truthfully.

Zuko stood from his seat and turned to her.

Azula made sure to comment, "That cane looks stupid even for you."

Zuko stared at the maghony wood helping him stand. Then give her a level stare. He now held himself far more regally than that of a malnourished child can.

"You did not come this early in the morning to comment on a piece of carved wood did you?" He speaks like one of the adults now. It's no fun. She hated it.

Still she blurted, "You're leaving."

Zuko leaned on the chair and smiled lazily with an upwards tilt of his head. "Will you miss me?"

The answer should have been obvious to them both. Her brother asked in jest, but Azula really did not have the answer. So instead she smirked and replied with a question of her own, "If you were to bring that servant with you maybe?"

Zuko narrowed his molten eyes and scrutinized her. "Do you want him?"

Want was a strong word for what it was. What she really wanted she would never get, so more than want she is bored and will need entertainment with Zuzu gone.

"What I want, is mother's whereabouts."

"And you will get that if this mission proves fruitful."

Azula sneered, "You're steering me in circles aren't you? There is a limit to how nice I can be before I tell _Dad._ "

"If you do, she won't be able to defend herself in her current state. Wait until I find a cure."

"You were the reason she's like that in the first place. How much longer?" Ursa's salvation was but sleep and sweet dreams. Azula just wanted to shake her mother awake and have her see the current world. It would be so sweet to see that woman suffer for once.

"You'll be the first to know when she wakes."

She bit her lip seeing how Zuko wouldn't relent even though he looks so drained. How wary he held himself. Guilt was written all over his hollow face. Azula knew her brother was haunted with constant nightmares and it took everything out of him to act normal. She knew he would be far happier and much safer if he never returned.

Azula sighed. Zuko would never abandon their mother. Ursa wasn't going anywhere in her state so she lets up, "Then the least you could do is give me a farewell gift."

Her brother stared hard at her, approached and stood beside her ear, the cane the only thing separating them.

"Very well," he said with cold detachment, his icy eyes pinning her down. There is a moment of silence as if he were to say something else, instead his actions told her what she needed to know. Zuko walked out the doors and out of her life.

She did not expect much from him.

And she still doesn't, even as he left her alone.

* * *

Azula stared from the balcony overseeing the vast sea and ships at port.

He departed with their Uncle at dawn. There was no need for farewell between them. Even as siblings, their relationship was not that close. It would be months before they would meet again.

She turned to the servant of 12 with a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eyes.

She asked, "What's your name?"

He obediently replied, "Takuya, Your Highness."

She approached innocently. "Let's play a game Takuya."

The boy's whole body shook, his face refusing to look at her.

"I would be happy to, Princess." A demure answer, expected from all the servants.

"Then do try to dodge as much as you can okay?"

The attendant finally looked up in confusion. They were both standing in the courtyard. Behind her were the turtle-duck pond, which her brother adores and behind what used to be his servant, were pretty white flowers he once planted with their mother.

Azula only smiled sweetly with an outstretched hand.

Her fire burnt blue.

TBC...


	11. Childhood's End

My friend who is really passionate about this story continues to motivate me and thanks to her this chapter is out finally! She also did a fantastic job with helping me with the Ty Lee scenes :) Kudos to her and everyone who review(s), fav and follow this story!

* * *

 **Chapter 9:** **Childhood's End**

"You have such a pretty smell Azula!"

She looked to Ty Lee, her clothes suffocated her as if it was warning her to go on. "It's probably from my floral baths." Another lie escaped her lips.

"I see! Having a flower bath to yourself must be nice." Azula knew this was building up to something from the girl's obvious fumbling.

Ty Lee was about to bring it up when the maids brought in the food. Azula never felt more thankful to the servants than in that moment.

She saw plates of meat dishes placed in front of her friends. While plates of greens were stacked on her side. Mai gave her a curious look.

"Wow Azula are you on a diet?" Ty Lee inquired innocently.

Azula bit her lips not wanting to answer. She saw the colorful assortment of finely chopped herbs, petals and azalea leaves in her salad. Azula forcefully swallowed them down. She was grateful she could hold down the food now. She still remembered the first time she was on her bathroom floor coughing and wheezing after she emptied her stomach from pain and nausea. Every meal since then had been a fight for survival.

"Are you sure, _sure_ you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Azula turned away from Ty Lee's worried eyes. Since last week and now everyday this week, it was the same conversation. It always came back to how _she_ felt, as if there was something wrong with _her_. It was irritating.

"Are you sure?" Again, the girl said, testing Azula's patience.

"Just peachy, fantastic!" Azula slammed both palms on the table and stood rigid, making the arrangement of magnolia and lavender heather collapse in a loud crash. Ty Lee made a small whimper at the ruined flowers on the table.

Servants hesitated to clean the ugly mess. The spill water dripping from the table had Azula's focus, she couldn't bring herself to look at her friends.

"It doesn't look like it." Mai stated, moving aside to allow the few brave servants to clean the dead assortment. They were surprisingly proficient at the job. Before Azula could blink, a new exact replica stood in her sight. The vile thing was replaced so easily as if nothing had happened. Insignificant enough to be replaced. Azula clenched her fists, nails digging into flesh. She's not replaceable like these flowers - she's not Zuko nor a wallflower like Ursa.

"Do I have to be all cheery like Ty Lee over here," she pointed angrily at the bubbly girl while glaring at Mai, "for you to believe me? I said I'm _fine._ So _leave it._ " She snarled daring them to question her again.

Ty Lee shrunk back in her seat with teary eyes and Mai all but frowned, her doubtful eyes bored into the princess.

"A-azula, Mai is just worry about you. We're your friends, you can tell us anything!" Ty Lee tried to get through to her. Azula narrowed her eyes instead.

"Is this about you seeing people's auras again?" The princess rolled her eyes.

The brunette bobs her head frantically. "Your aura is murky brown Azula!" Ty Lee did not get Azula's sarcasm. But she did know that a brown colored aura was never something good. Especially with Azula's family situation at home. Azula made it as if she didn't care, but Ty Lee knew it affected her friend a lot. It didn't help lessen her worries when nowadays Azula was more volatile to lash out, replied with mean comments and was just angry all the time.

The princess gave a mocking laugh, "Drop it Ty Lee. We all know that's not true. You just want to be _different_ from your sisters."

Ty Lee's eyes flooded with thick tears, and her face wrang in hurt. She looked to be holding it in, but Azula knew the girl would give in any moment. As expected, Ty Lee ran out the room crying.

"Hey!" Mai snapped, "I don't know what's going on with you lately but you can't take it out on Ty Lee like that for caring about you!" Mai reprimand her.

Azula was surprised her apathetic friend showed anger. She must've gone over the line this time. The princess sat down defeated at Mai's look of disappointment and concern.

"I haven't been sleeping well, okay?" Azula replied. It wasn't a complete lie.

It was a long moment before Mai let out a sigh, "Anyone can see that." Her friend pointed to the purple circles under her eyes. "Does insomnia runs in your family or something?"

Azula knew she was acting like Zuko in those months when he was twitchy and jumpy from his nightmares. But Azula was on edge for a different reason. She tried and conceal the ugly bruises under her eyes with as much foundation and powder as possible, apparently she wasn't thorough enough today.

The lack of sleep had been catching up. But it wasn't a problem of her falling asleep, it was her having a hard time staying asleep. Less nightmares of her times in the dungeon and more of the time when she was stuck in that perfect flower arranged room. Without fail, the smell of white lilies and lotus swirled with the nasty smell of blood and sweat.

Worse, her skins was often irritated. It began with poisonous flowers under the sheets, then inside the clothes she wore, the baths she took and even mixed in her food and drinks now. He said it's for her own good, this way she'll gradually get used to poisons greater than that of the Last Supper. Her father's heir is nothing less than perfect.

"Make sure to make up with Ty Lee later." Mai finally said bringing her back to her senses.

Azula didn't comment.

The silence was ruined when Mai mentioned, "Is this about your mom?" Azula never one to stay long when the topic about her mother comes up.

"No." Azula bit out, this time she was the one to storm out. Mai called out to her, but Azula refused to listen.

Ursa may as well have started all this. This whole mess happened because of her! The nation was in complete chaos and Azula was taught how to retain order, but it seemed endless. Nowadays, she spent her times in the dungeons and eating herbs and…

She watch herself being beaten, whipped and bruised like those men she tortured. But unlike them, she felt humiliated by the pig that has a sick pleasure for harming children. Every night, in her dreams his dead, fat body danced naked with his whip in blazing flames. He was laughing, and no matter how much her fire burned furious until it turned _blue_ , the man did not die.

Even in her waking hours, she could not erase the face of the pig. There is a constant shame as her wound ached, even as they faded. The eyes around her seemed to know and those that even looked at her twice had a blue fireball thrown their way.

What frustrated her the most was that there was another that knew. She could not take actions to remove him, even if she begged the Fire Lord.

Azula was observant, not many things could get past her. She had been watching the man she idolized, her entire life. No matter how seamless he made it seem, that most believed him to be ambidextrous, her father cannot hide his dominant hand from her. Many do not know the significance when the Fire Lord placed Kyou as his Left Advisor; he truly placed the person to be his Hand.

And still even now, the Fire Lord flavoured the former Advisor Kyou. Whatever the reasons were, she planned to find out.

Even if she had to eat poison to do so.

* * *

Ty Lee ran, not caring where. She hated when Azula was like that. She didn't want to stay here any longer. Instead, she'd rather go and pursue her dream! She'd be special, and special people perform at circuses. She would be a circus acrobat, and be a star like she had always wanted! Everyone would look at _her, adore her,_ Ty Lee and not her sisters. Not Ty Lin or Ty Lat or that mean Ty Lao or… her thought came to an abrupt stop realizing she was lost.

Ty Lee whimpered, "Where am I?" She looked around exasperatedly. Everything looked the same - she panicked!

"Azula! Mai!?" She grew increasingly agitated when no one returned her calls. What if she wandered into the restricted area again? She didn't wanted to get another earful from the Headmaid.

"Ah, that door looks different!" Every other door had a proud golden crest etched into it, whereas this room had a door with a darker shaded crest. Oddly she recalled that there was something important to do with these doors. Her face twisted and she tried to recall what exactly the Headmaid was lecturing her about, but all she could think about was the woman's bad breath. "Oh well! That's probably the exit!" She surmised.

Ty Lee slowly opened the door and was instantly dejected to find that it was just another room. In the middle of the room hung a ginormous scary looking painting of Fire Lord Sozin. She was about to step out when she heard footsteps approaching. Ty Lee's eyes widened. The Headmaid had come to lecture her again! She immediately hid herself, but was surprised to find that no one had actually entered the room. She swore she just heard the door open.

'Click' Ty Lee jumped as she realized the sounds were actually coming from the painting itself. She peered up at the foreboding figure in the painting when she tripped, hitting her head on the frame in the process.

"Ugh" She silently rubbed the bump on her forehead when she noticed that the eyes on the painting had disappeared! Oh no oh no! She'll get in major trouble this time if she doesn't fix the painting! Ty Lee scampered for a chair to be eye level to the missing eyes of Fire Lord Sozin. All thoughts of covering the eyes left her when she saw what lay beyond them.

"Lock the door." The hooded figure commanded.

The larger man behind did as told.

Ty Lee saw their auras, the big man was scary but not as terrifying as the person in the hood! His aura of dark violet radiated dangers. Ty Lee held her breathe and didn't dare to move.

The scary man turns and slip off his hood. Again, her eyes widen. T-that person wasn't supposed to be here! He should be under house arrest!

"Have your men completed the stage like I asked?"

The bigger man nodded.

"Here." She saw the former advisor hand a large pouch to the bald man. "I have one more job I require of you."

"That wasn't the deal." The other man finally answered, the pouch clearly secured to his waistband.

"The _deal_ was, you do as I say and you'll be rewarded handsomely." Ty Lee saw Kyou tossing another brown bag and this time she clearly heard the sounds of jingling coins when the older man caught the sack.

"You'll get the rest when it's _done."_

Ty Lee almost gasped, the Advisor's aura turned _black._ It turned black! Never had she seen such a menacing aura before. She was glad Azula didn't have to marry that person. She was glad she didn't live in the palace even though she once dreamed of being an actual princess and having a palace all to herself.

"As you command." She saw his greedy grin and ugly yellow black teeth.

Ty Lee closed her eyes, she didn't want to see anymore. Azula was right when she said Ty Lee wouldn't survive in her home with eyes and ears and horrible things behind walls. Ty Lee wanted to leave and never return to this terrible place again.

* * *

He woke with a startle, panting heavily soaked in his own sweat as he twisted away from a blade that nearly pierced his heart. Nightmares were not the only thing that haunted him, grudges were just as persistent.

Having a menacing dark figure hovering above, during a frequent occurring nightmare did _great_ for his mood. He'd surely repay the favour.

Zuko grabbed for the hidden dagger under his pillow and threw it at his assailant, allowing him time to gain distance to reach for his cane. He unsheathed the blade hidden underneath wood and advanced.

He knew he should've kept the man alive for interrogation, but bloodlust took over and his intention was to kill. He was seamless in his motion - being used to such attacks late into the night during his time as Fire Lord.

His assassin hesitated in mid surprise and that was the moment the prince needed to strike past flesh and bones, _to reach the heart._ The man never had the chance to scream when a dagger inserted itself into his throat. Blood splattered on red silk and Zuko grunted as the man now lay in a puddle of crimson. The small dagger hidden beneath his silk sleeve felt heavy in his hold. Zuko bent down and wiped the blood off the blade onto the black clothes of his assailant.

Adrenaline still pumped in his veins as his nightmare remained, flashing before his eyes, the prince stepped over the body to grab a clean tunic and tucked the small blade into the hidden pocket of his sleeve (the many things he learnt from Mai). He then ventured to the bathroom and wash the blood off his face.

Even shrouded in darkness, Zuko still saw himself in the mirror looking worse for wear with dark circles under his eyes and a sickly complexion. He palmed his hand over the looking glass and recalled how young and powerless he looked. But what got his attention was the dirt and dried blood under his nails. He quickly washed them, making sure his nails were spotless underneath. The entire process, he bit his lips until they bled into the dirty water below. He's in control. _He's fine._

Zuko then ventured out to re-examine the state of the corpse on the floor.

He knelt down and unmasked his assassin. "What ugly teeth." Zuko commented as he brought a hand over the man's eyes, closed them and released his flames. Black burns, reduced the body to ashes and turned blood into dust. He opened the windows to let fresh air in, witnessed his murder vanish into the wind and unleashed onto the Earthen town below.

Zuko looked up to the full moon in the lord's chamber. The perfect place within the manor to oversee the town and view the landscape. Tonight, like many nights before, he remained restless. Sleep is a luxury when nightmares of the past constantly stuck to him like a vengeful spirit, and control was a losing fight. He clenched a hand over his shoulder as he let himself feel the cold breeze on his skin, hoping to wipe away the burning sensation on his back.

"Did you enjoy the show?" He turned around to face a dark corner of the stone room.

A handmaiden walked into the moonlight.

"Shiki." He greeted, nonchalantly.

"Not as much as my interest in that black fire of yours." She mockingly curtsied in his royal presence.

It had been almost a month since she followed him out into the world acting as his personal maidservant, a perfect guise seeing as his last was taken by Azula. Her reason was that she needed to lay low while his Homeland sorted out the mess he started. Zuko pretended to buy it, knowing she was skilled enough to avoid it without his help.

"I wondered the same thing." He smiled civilly. "After my near kiss with death, my fire had turned black."

"The poison shouldn't have done such a thing, much less its antidote." She stated staring at him curiously.

Zuko let her ponder. It was pointless when she could never fathom the reason.

"But it did. And my father mustn't get ahold of it." _Yet._ Surely for Zhao will report at the first chance he gets. Or anyone of his father's spies in the 41st division.

Shiki nodded, thinking she had him figured out. Many think they do. Zhao is convinced he could manipulate a royal pain-in-the-ass to achieve greater power. Iroh baby's him and acts as if he could protect his ignorant nephew from harm. While Piandao may be the closest of all; believing his pupil could change a nation.

What these men do not see is _him._ What Shiki did not know would not hurt her to remain in his influence. What Azula remained blind to were his lies - how he had no intention of waking Ursa. What Ozai knew is everything Zuko wished for him to know. However, Kyou. He was the thorn Zuko must cut. He had greater plans for the former Advisor than simple disposal. Kyou may think it was his luck and strategy that saved his skin from poison and death row.

Zuko twisted a strand of his loose hair, his golden eyes gleamed sinister. The man remain only because he'd allowed it.

"And what are you planning to gain, from this journey?"

What everyone wanted. "Time." Zuko leaned on the balcony twisting his head to see the stars above. Like his fire, everything he planted continued to blossom in the dark.

"The time for?" Curiosity can kill the cat, but Shiki is not afraid. Zuko was in a mood to entertain.

"Patience."

The wind blew harsh between them. His long hair fell from its bind in loose strands and flowed freely to conceal his features.

"Patience?" Her brow raised.

"That's right."

"For what?"

Zuko's molten eyes gleamed. The wind was too harsh for anyone to hear his truth.

* * *

It is said that the fire nation palace is virtually unbreachable. Impregnable security, even more so after the Last Supper, it was nearly impossible for even the most skillful of assassins to breach the palace's defenses. Despite this, Ty Lee was able to successfully scale the castle walls straight to Azula's room.

Being the princess's friend has its benefits, like knowing Azula's schedule. Ty Lee quietly stepped into the large room. Instantly the strong smell of herbs and flowers assaulted her nose. She had no time to ponder when Azula changed her perfume, when she quickly needed to find the emblem to get pass the city gates and find safe passage at the port.

"Ty Lee,"

The voice behind her scared her to death, made her jumped and squeaked. The brunette turned and met Azula's golden eyes.

"A-azula… you're not taking your bath…?" She laughs awkwardly. She's in trouble now, Azula would never let this go.

Her friend rolled her eyes and hands her the emblem she was desperately searching for. She looked in shock, then surprise and was about to give Azula a big hug when the princess retreated and shouted, "Don't touch me!"

Azula looked too pale for her own good, almost sickly as she moved as far from Ty Lee as possible. "Just go already." Azula demanded.

Ty Lee hesitated from Azula's weird behavior, but years of being the princess's friend Ty Lee knew when to do as told.

With a weak wave and the biggest smile she could muster she says, "Thanks, bye bye." And left knowing that this was Azula's around about way of apologizing. Azula's actions always spoke truer than her words ever could.

* * *

With so much death, the court became meager. Courtiers that should have been in their seats were either dead or tortured within the dungeons. Azula knew her father never did things halfway.

"Burn them."

She could see the men left in the Great Hall shift with unease. They were wise to say nothing, it's how they still managed to keep their place in court.

"B-but Sire these are men in your court, nobles..." One either brave or stupid spoke - ah, surprisingly it was the coward Ukano. His words seemed too quiet in the grandiose room that occupied the Fire Lord. Had he not witnessed it for himself? Nobility was no armour in her father's court. Still, it would be fun to mention it to Mai. That would put the girl in her place. Mai had spoken brazenly to dare mention Ursa in Azula's presence.

Bright flames burnt hot. The nobleman below visibly shrunk, as sweat stuck to his horrified features at the words of his sovereign. _Power denies you nothing._ Her father's lessons were clear in her mind. Poor Mai was unfortunate to have a weak father like Ukano, making it easy for Azula to ruin their ancient house.

"Would you trust men that opposed their lord in his own home?"

"N-no never - but, these men are of nobility. Their houses have served the Crown for centuries! Perhaps exile-"

"And have them join forces and bring greater threats to topple this nation?" The Fire Lord was deadly stoic. What gave his anger away, were the flames rising hot and dangerous within the hall. "Advisor, what I want is to burn their houses to the ground with their families in their beds. Let those traitors taste the cost of treason before they burn. _Do I make myself clear?"_

Azula looked at her father in a mixture of awe and terror. She understood that fear was the only reliable way to command the current state of this nation, but even she understood that it had gotten out of hand. She looked to her father's stone face and darkened eyes. Everything started swirling downwards since _that woman_ had left a mess in her wake. Azula just wanted it to get better, not this.

" _Burn them all."_

It was clear on their faces. The final verdict of the Fire Lord made everyone fear for their lives. It was only strengthened with Ozai's next statement.

"Now then, let's resume the subjugation of Omashu shall we?"

* * *

"The town folk are scared." Piandao said. "Two more disappeared last night."

Iroh stared, perplexed at the multiple disappearances they had encountered during the third month in their search for Ursa. Someone or _something_ was spiriting people away in these lands. He knew they must avoid Ba Sing Se at all costs, even if its walls and population may be the safest haven for them to hide. That is, if he wanted to risk Ursa's life. So he needed to constantly steer the mission away from that city within walls.

"Who cares! Someone is destroying our enemies for us. Isn't that a good thing?" Zhao inputted.

"Not when they are civilians and have no part in the war!" Iroh roared.

"And you think we are any better, taking over their lord's manor and threatening them with fire?"

" _Yes._ We are not harming anyone, burning homes or causing a string of disappearances."

"In their minds, we undoubtedly are." Zhao pointed out.

"The Rear Admiral has a point Iroh. It's best that we leave immediately." Piandao intervened. "Before something _more_ happens." The swordmaster did not only imply another disappearance, no. He was referring to a desperation from the town folk to force them out.

Iroh wanted Zuko to know the world outside of the Fire Nation. A Fire Lord different from Azulon and Ozai, who has never seen much of the world other than from the safety of the palace walls much less anywhere further than the Caldera. How could they expect to rule a world when they don't know anything about it? He had hoped this journey would give Zuko a new perspective, far away from his father's influence. He did not want his nephew to experience this. Iroh clenched his fists and nodded in agreement. They should get moving or whatever this thing is that seemed to be following them, may actually find its target.

He must keep Zuko safe.

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Her voice startled him. He quickly hid the folded paper behind his back.

"Nothing Princess." He internally wanted to smack himself for being so careless.

"Hand it over." Her voice commanded.

He could only obey. He dropped the Origami into her hand.

"What is it?" She asked curiously.

Takuya was taken aback by her unfamiliarity. It had been half a year since he'd been appointed as her personal attendant, and he'd naturally became so accustomed to her knowledge and maturity that he sometimes forgot she was younger than him.

"It's Origami, Your Highness."

She frowned. "Yes, I know that moron. I mean what is it?"

Takuya flushed in embarrassment. "I-it's a paper c-crane…" He stuttered and wanted to reprimand himself right after the words had left his mouth.

"I see." She eyed it curiously as she handed it back to him. Takuya thought she would have burnt it or punish him for making it.

"M-my mom taught me." He babbled out. Soon after, he regretted it with wide eyes. _Why did he say that?!_

She stared up at him and replied, "I didn't ask." She threw a rock in the turtle-duck pond missing one of the small turtle-duck. Its mom immediately started flapping her wings in aggression at Azula trying to protect her children. The princess was clutching her stomach laughing.

"You shouldn't do that princess." He was extremely brave or stupid enough to speak his mind in the presence of royalty. No one could tell her what to do, much less someone of his station.

"Why not? It's fun." She did it again, this time with a bigger stone.

"I think it's sad." He whispered recalling the memories of his mom.

Azula finally turned to look at him having remained silent.

This was his permission to speak, so he continued. "I lost my mom and I think if she were here and I got hurt, she would be sad too. Just like how those turtle-ducks are feeling." He started meekly, but his voice became more resolute at the end.

"Funny. So will my mom. But for a different reason." The princess sat herself on the grass with a distant gaze in her eyes. Her Highness then turned and regarded him with an odd smile, "But she's gone and I don't have to worry about upsetting her anymore."

Takuya shifted with unease. The Princess Ursa… or was it Fire Lady now? Anyways she was a constant topic at Court. First her disappearance, then her newly discovered dead body, and now a team being sent to search for her whereabouts. The Crown Prince was one of them. Takuya was conflicted, his task had never weighed so heavily in his mind. He thought of his mom, and how she wanted him to live on. He thought of his father's sacrifice and his hometown razed and charred. He then recalled the face of his savior and the task that was given to him. The paper crane never felt so heavy in his hand.

"Hey teach me."

Her voice shook him out of his turmoil. "P-pardon Your Highness?"

The small princess rolled her eyes.

"How do you fold those cranes?"

Slightly surprised, but Takuya did not deny her. "Like this." He folded the brown color paper. He had gotten so skillful at the art, that he didn't need to see where to fold. Instead, he took glances at the princess because she had never allowed him to be this close. His life had gotten bizarre. He would never have imagined getting to live in the palace, and interacting with the Royal family. Although she was a prodigy, Princess Azula was still a child. So he decided to say, "My mom told me that if one were to make a thousand cranes, their wish will come true."

The Fire Princess laughed. "You don't seriously believe that do you?"

Takuya ruefully smiled. "You do not know that. Trying won't hurt."

Azula always had something to rebuke, but this time she didn't. Instead, she silently folded how he taught her. In that moment, Takuya realized that the Princess of the Fire Nation, a prodigy in Firebending was a lonely girl. She was constantly surrounded by servants and tutors that let her have her way. And her family was as dysfunctional as it could get.

That explained why she continued to bother and tease him. Even though her methods were harmful, she didn't really mean to hurt anyone. It was to get attention.

"How many have you made?"

Takuya hesitated to answer, "Almost three hundred now."

"Give them to me."

This made him jump and his heartbeat quicken, he quickly replied, "it doesn't work that way Princess. Unless you make them yourself, your wish won't come true."

Azula grunted. "You're useless you know that?"

For the first time, he felt relief in her presence.

"If I were to give them to you, what will you wish for Princess?"

Azula didn't say anything for a long time, "If I tell you, wouldn't it not come true?"

Takuya held in a smile, "It would have the opposite affect Your Highness."

She wrinkled her nose in thought, then suddenly mumbled out rushed words.

"I'm sorry. I didn't get that." He couldn't help but tease her. It pricked at him. What she wanted was something he couldn't have, because her family took them away from him.

"Nothing!" She shouted and stormed out.

She might think he had not heard, but it echoed clearly in his mind.

 _I want my family back._

Takuya watched her go. With resolution he placed the crane he made inside the hollow space of the large tree, "It's not only you. So do I and the rest of this country." But he doubted that she had been raised to care for those beneath her.

So he would help those that are powerless to do anything. Surely, what he's doing would help others not become like him. An orphan, a lone survivor of the Last Supper.

So far, Takuya had sent out three hundred and one. Inside, his cranes were not wishes that could never be, no they were encrypted with information that would come to pass.

He often wondered what would happen when he reached a thousand.

Would the world be better or worse?

He wouldn't know unless he sees it for himself.

The wish he'd made in those thousand cranes.

* * *

Snapdragons hung between them as Shiori poured the drinks. Having the Fire Lord as your guest only demanded that she provide the best of the best. Even if she planned to usurp his throne.

Ozai stared at the flowering tea she offered, the man behind Ozai was about to reach for the china. Yet, the Fire Lord held up a hand, stopping the person short before he lifted the cup and drank it empty. His eyes never having left hers in challenge.

"My Lord!" The right advisor of the Fire Lord panicked, more so because his Sire had come alone, without his Royal Guards.

Ozai silenced the man with a wave of his hand.

"Lady Shiori would not stoop so low, as to poison her guest. Much less stupid enough to do it in clear sight. Isn't that right?"

Shiori smiled as she pours him another cup, "You overestimate me, my lord."

"No, you're far too clever for that, my lady." He gave her an appraising look, "No wonder Jian is willingly wrapped around your fingers."

Shiori did not take the bait. Ozai did not know for certain, which is why he was here, testing her. At this point, his paranoia has indiscriminate, suspecting everything and anyone. It had led to an empty court and an overpacked dungeon. He was seen as the Mad King by his people and it wouldn't be long before he fully destroyed a nation from the inside out.

"You may not know from your marriage Fire Lord, but it is love that keeps us together." She was not blind to how large the fire lily garden have gotten over the years, compared to the rosebed which Ursa has stopped planting altogether.

"Ah, yes, love. It can make people do stupid things. Don't you agree?" His stoic face portrayed nothing, except for the intensity behind his cold eyes.

"No, I do not Sire."

It was obvious the ears in the room, only trusted and loyal to their masters shifted uncomfortably.

"I think you do." The knowledge in his eyes made Ozai seemed more sane than what was led to be believed. "Jian will do something stupid because he loves you. But we all know since childhood who you really love." Ozai drank the bitter tea with a sweet smirk on his lips.

"Not everyone is you." Any form of peace talk stalled. He had gotten under her skin. How dare he compare her to himself!

"No, not everyone can _be_ me. But they can come close." She hated how composed he looked.

Shiori clenched her hands together, trying to temper her fury. Being civil with a monster was much harder than it looked.

"What are you implying Fire Lord?" She bit out.

"Since young, you were stubborn." He made it sound like she was inexperienced! As if he was speaking to a child. Shiori tightened her frown as he resumed, "You should fix that habit of yours before it drags you down, along with everything you _love_."

"Is that a threat?" She chided.

The Fire Lord hummed, "No, it's advice from a friend."

She laughed humorlessly, "That's rich coming from you."

Ozai only smiled that cryptic smile of his, the one she'd known since childhood. The young boy that always followed Iroh around like a shadow. The boy that ruined everything he touched. How could such a person still regard himself as her friend?

"I am simply returning the favor."

"I have received it, my lord. You may leave anytime." She only regretted how foolish she was back then. Having felt pity for this monster - having helped him once.

Ozai stood up in his casual attire to stared her down. His presence had never felt more imposing than it did now. "Stop while you're ahead, or all you will find is pain."

They both knew what would soon transpire. She was far beyond the point of stopping it now.

Shiori put her mask in place and gave him a smile filled with pleasantries. "There is nothing more that can pain me, Ozai. You made certain of that."

The Fire Lord stared at her for a moment longer before he shook his head and showed himself out. Her Headmaid followed him out in an attempt to apologize in her stead.

Shiori was left alone with her thoughts. She knew that the others, especially her husband would know about this private meeting shortly. What they wanted to know would be hers to tell. The flowering lilies left unattended started to wilt in the glass pot. These white lilies are innocent as white lies. Shiori's hands shook as she made her decision.

She must believe.

Good will prevail.

* * *

Zuko awoke once more. Soundless screams bubbled up inside. Sweating and shivering he was reliving the same nightmare _again and again an-_ he couldn't break now, he wouldn't - not yet. _You're determined if nothing else,_ Zuko recalled the voice - disgusted that it helped chain him to the present.

The festering nightmare was worse than the dreams of his torture. Or watching his Kingdom fall. And how much of a failure he was to his people.

He was locked in a dark place. Caged 35 feet underground in the Fire Nation's most secure prison. Where time had lost all meaning, he was always counting, counting the minutes that expanded to months on the off chance he would be rescued. He would see a rope, but he would ignore it for imaginations of getting back what he has lost.

He would rebuild with help, he would regain everything he lost. This time, he would do it right and eliminate everything in his way. It was a hope that kept him sane. Yet the rope was always lingering in his peripheral.

Suddenly, white lights blinded him, as he was being roughly strapped into a chair. When he did see after a long time within darkness, the brightness revealed a creature more sinister than his tormentors. Zuko truly laughs. It was a sound he did not believe came from him. It was filled with madness and malice. It was not something a sane person could make. The creature spoke, and despair killed the hope in his heart. Sanity was all but wiped from his mind.

Then the nightmare repeated.

The rope hung there.

And he was back in the dark Boiling Rock recounting the days of his escape and hoping to redeem himself once more.

* * *

Iroh truly believed that Zuko had gotten better. He no longer needed the cane to stand, he had been eating well and his complexion had gained color. A smile was back on his face.

"Must I be forced to learn this? Even when I'm far from home?" His nephew let out an exasperated grunt. His whole demeanor was unseemly; body slumped with his head on parchments.

"Yes, it's important for your future Crown Prince." He reminded Zuko of his station and to fix his posture else his men were to see.

"Prince Zuko, you seem distracted. Would it be better to have your studies back in your suite?" Piandao's words were meant to reduce the complaints. It seemed to have the opposite effect.

Zuko paid more attention to the men on the deck training rather than on texts about Fire Nation History. Iroh could tell how eager the Prince was to start practicing again. The midday sun was alluring to all Firebenders. It must have been torturous for his nephew, to not be able to bend for months during recovery.

"Soon, Prince Zuko. Soon." Piandao seemed to know what was going on in the Prince's mind.

Zuko grown. The royal tent flaps in the sea breeze with sounds of a bell announcing Suzaku's arrival. Zuko immediately perked up welcoming back his companion from its hunt.

"Any good catch today boy?"

The raven eagle seemed to understand and give Zuko his prize.

In his nephew's hand lay a copper ring.

"We're nearing another settlement." Zuko announced.

"That's good. We need supplies." Zhao intruded in the large tent, sweat sticking to him from training with the men below. The maid at Zuko's back quickly hands the man a towel before stepping back into her place in Zuko's shadow.

Iroh frowned, so did his Piandao. They were no savages, this was not something to teach a Crown Prince of a country.

Zuko seemed to read the mood.

"It's alright." He stated, "there is something much closer and far more supplied."

All three men stared at the boy. Zuko only held out his hand and his bird reluctantly handed it over.

In the Prince's palm shone a golden tooth.

* * *

The familiar smell had brought him back. Zuko stood and stared in the midst of fire. _Black flames_ consumed his vision; it burned high, into the ship's mast - tearing away at the sails. Zuko felt disoriented having thought he'd awoken from a bad dream, but what he woke to was much worse. Contrasting blue skies above were black deaths below. His eyes were wet from the smoke and ash swirling the air. But worst of all, he couldn't remember. There were blanks in his memories. It had become more frequent. He was losing it.

 _You did this._ The sea breeze would whisper.

Zuko had no strength to deny it.

He only makes things worse. He always has…

So he must take responsibility. Control was an illusion… But he was in control now, so he must do what he can with his remaining time here.

* * *

Zhao knows he's being constantly monitored. There are always a pair of eyes on on. He thinks he knows why.

Even if no one else noticed, Zhao did. There was something wrong with that boy. He was stoic in the face of the disappearances, and strangely faked in his friendliness with the crew. There was machination in his every action and purpose to his every move. Others may have thought that Zhao was reading too much into it, but after years of being around courtiers like Jian and the vipers of the Earth Kingdom, it was obvious that the boy was deliberately manipulating everyone. His method was just as seamless as his incorporation of the longsword, dual blades to even shurikens and small knives into his martial arts.

And they say his sister was the prodigy. In reality, the Crown Prince needed no guards to fend off his enemies. Zhao and the 100 men of the Royal entourage were mere ornaments, formalities really.

Zuko didn't need much protection. He was eerily calm as he stood, unworried, unhinged as he turned the sea black with dragon fire.

After that display of raw power, faith burns within the men that saw, like the flames refusing to extinguish on open tides.

Revelation struck Zhao harder than any Agni Kai. He may be the only one in the mist of purple smokes and mysterious deaths from the Savage Garden incident to unravel secrets behind hidden doors and sinister dark corners.

He sensed a pressure on his back. Zhao turned and met golden eyes staring down at him from above of the Royal fleet. Chills ran down his spine as the color drained from his face. He might have come across the greatest truth of the Royal family. The Crown Prince of the Fire Nation may have inspired devotion rather than fear, but wasn't that scarier than not knowing the truth behind a monster hidden in a mask?

It was best to observe and keep his silence for now. He was well aware that he would have to weigh his choices wisely, or he would be the next to disappear.

* * *

They say he was talented when he was young. They say Azula was a prodigy, while her brother, useless.

Iroh saw Zuko train before. He saw potential if his nephew continued to practice. That was a year and a half ago.

Now, the boy has mastered both swords and martial arts simultaneously. All of a sudden, he couldn't recognize the child who had trouble with the most basic of katas. Iroh never doubted the young prince, but it was vastly understated once he saw Zuko perform.

"Did you teach him that?" The General was almost afraid to ask.

Even the swordmaster was stunned. "No, it appears he has been training without my knowledge."

Such improvements were impossible - almost frightening if Zuko continued at this rate. Iroh cannot imagine what he'd become in the future. And this hadn't even taken his bending into account.

It unsettled Iroh. Mastery of techniques were one thing, but Zuko was never one to consider, much less initiate to eat with the crew; it would be beneath him. Not to mention abandoning rank to train with them as far as to help them improve. Zuko was never taught to associate himself with commoners, this much Iroh knew because he has lived through it. He himself would never thought of it if he never went on his journey.

But that unease was nothing compared to the first time he witnessed Zuko bend fire, it burned black and engulfed a band of pirate ships into dust. The Dragon of the West had to blink twice to confirm it was his nephew of eleven and not his niece. Still, the confidence and skill Zuko possessed may as well be from the prodigious Princess of the Fire Nation. He never flinched and headed straight into danger rescuing friends and foes. Yes, that was the Zuko he knew. Yet he don't think Ursa will be proud… Zuko is after all, a child.

But anyone that witnessed such a heroic act didn't see him as a boy anymore. Greatness didn't take age into consideration. The Prince inspired people to follow. Even if Iroh didn't make it so, men would still fall at Zuko's feet. This potential was deadly, if used for the wrong reasons. But Zuko was no Sozin, no Azulon and definitely not Ozai. His nephew was merciful and compassionate. He welcomed the pirate crew aboard his vessel.

Iroh could tell that they look up to him. It became increasingly apparent that Zuko was a natural born leader. The men that were following him are not bound by duty or orders, they were following him because they believed in him. More than anything, Zuko may be a genius at commanding men.

This should be a good thing. It should be.

So why did it scare him instead?

* * *

It is as if she was born for this moment.

Months of meticulous planning had finally paid off. She had an army at her back ready to storm the empty palace at nightfall.

"Shiori… are you sure about this?"

"Jian, I've never been more certain." She gave him her kindest of smiles. He had only ever been there for her. Although she didn't want to admit it, she had used those very feelings to get what she wanted. "My place is here by your side." Her tone was gentle, but it contained much guilt.

"It will be dangerous. I cannot guarantee your safety."

"You don't have to. You know, I'll need to see how it ends. After all, I'm the one who started this mess." She smiled in sorrow.

He held her hands and kissed them both. "You know that I can't deny you anything."

"Or so it seems…" She smirked, they were way passed this innocent stage of their relationship. She held both his cheeks in her palms and leaned up to kiss him. "Don't make it as if this is our farewell. This is only the beginning for us." She whispered.

His eyes were heavy with sadness. "I love you."

She stared at him questionly. Jian was never one to express his feelings so honestly. He was a master of secrets. He could easily tell a lie from truth, yet years into their marriage, he remained blind to her lies. It was love that could even makes the most clever blind. Still, those words were strictly said, as if he wasn't certain he'd come back to her.

"Don't be foolish. Believe me when I say everything will be fine."

"I know." He held her tightly. "You have never lied to me before."

His last words were daggers to her heart. Still, she had time to tell him everything. But if she did, everything she worked for would cease - they would abandon this cause and follow Jeong Jeong's example. The war would last more than a 100 years. Shiori couldn't allow that to happen. So she held strong. All her sources stated that the Fire Lord was alone and powerless, she outnumbered him forty to one. There was no possible way for him to win.

* * *

Her father sat without a care as his home came under attack. He looked so nonchalant.

She wondered how he could remain so calm in times of duress? The Fire Lord knew this was coming for months now and instead of strengthening the palace defences, he decided to send all his forces to siege Omashu. He left the Caldera unprotected. If this was the case, the Fire Lord must have had a strategy in all this madness. If not, they were all waiting to die.

Azula could hear the rebels closing in. The few guards stationed by the large double doors looked pale as they shifted in agitation. They all knew they were doomed, but no one dared to leave the room without angering the Fire Lord. There was no escape, it was either death by fire, or by rebels' hands.

The voices and footsteps became louder until it was deafening. She could sense it. They were just outside the doors. They would break in any minute.

"Father…" Azula was never one to doubt her lord, but before she could say more, the doors burst and flew as boulders bombarded them. How could she not have seen this coming? It was said the secret Order transcended the boundaries of the four nations. They were here to take the only family she has left. It was not fear that made her eyes widened as if she was met with a bad dream, no it was something else entirely as waves of water whipped at her father and colossal rock giants rushed in.

Azula instinctively moved before the great wall of fire obstructed her path.

"Dad!" She screamed.

Without thought, without care, for the Fire Lord she'd be useful.

She was not Zuko.

She must never be.

* * *

Shiori could see victory in sight. They were moments away from his location. Months and months of preparation and hundreds of cranes later they could safely say Ozai would conduct his war council without fail. Knowing the man for years - Shiori knew he was rigid in his schedule. He wakes up with the sun and never had once been late in his life. He would never expect it to be his downfall.

The double doors flung open.

"Ozai!" She declared trumpantly. But instead she is met with fearful faces of imprisoned ex-courtiers. Shiori immediately knew something was wrong.

Before she could say anything, the double doors slammed behind them, never sounding so final. Her resistance force rammed themselves at the metal doors. Shiori felt numb as she took a gag off one of the struggling courtier.

"G-GAS!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. His eyes big and fearful.

Shiori has no time to react as Jian tackled her to the ground and her sight above swam in purple.

He covered her nose and mouth with his palm. "Shiori! Shiori! Don't inhale it!" Her husband's voice grew distant to her ears. All she could think of was that she'd failed. It was her fault that hundreds of her countrymen would die for nothing.

Her world was consumed in screams and grisly deaths. Men were rampaging to knock down the doors and trampling on each other. They were all seeking escape within the enclosed chamber, while corpses continue to rise at alarming rates. Jian was aging far faster than her as he shouted to maintain order.

"Don't worry," he smiled weakly. "I'll get you out alive." His beautiful dark hair had suddenly taken to a ghastly grey. She started crying then.

This was all her fault. She didn't deserve to survive. It should've been him.

* * *

Zuko's eyes shot open.

"ARGHHHHHH!" He wrestled with the pain. Too much. Power was pouring into him faster than he could contain it. The feeling was far more agonizing than being electrocuted and tortured. He felt as if he was about to explode! The dark mark on his back boiled hot as it expanded to the rest of him.

Why the fuck was this happening?! Zuko's eyes swam to find a solution, but instead all it did was made him fall from the bed. The impact made Suzaku flap his large wings in agitation as his companion circled around him in worry. The sounds of bell rang in alarm.

He struggled on the floor like a fish out of water. He couldn't breathe! He inhaled, trying hard to grasp for air. Suzaku's screeches weren't helping to calm his nerves.

His screams and trashing alerted the guards outside and before long, his Uncle and Shiki were holding him down. He was hypervilenting. He could feel the bubbles foaming from his mouth.

"He's having a seizure! Get a Healer in here! Quick!"

Zuko was too far gone to compute anything before he was consumed by the sinister visions of a serpent's slither, wind chimes and the head of a three-eyed beast.

* * *

Black flames whipped before his eyes. They twisted, extended and circled around him like snakes. He was a weak thing caught by something bigger than himself. Before these flames touched him, Zhao knelt and admitted defeat.

"Rear Admiral, you should pay attention when challenging me to a duel."

It was hard not to be distracted knowing, that one would disintegrate from the slightest touch of those black flames. These fools really had no idea, blindly worshipping the very thing that could easily be the end of them all. It took all his skills to dodge that last strike, which left Zhao shaking with adrenaline pumping from his near brush with death. For a second, Zhao thought his heart would jump right out of his chest. For a moment, he thought he was certain to burn in fire that cannot be extinguished.

"Next." The Prince commanded dispassionately.

Zhao stared at all the men watching on the ship's deck. No one moved. No one dared to challenge the Crown Prince as he was now. It was expected, after seeing what he could do with mere swords, but fire too? Whoever started the rumors that Ozai's eldest was weak and nothing compared to his prodigious sister must have been deaf, blind and dumb. If they only knew. If they'd seen what he saw they would be too afraid to utter a sound.

"Next!" The Prince demanded. His golden eyes scanned the men. "You." He pointed to one of the colossal man of the pirate crew. Zhao sat himself up just in time to see the mountain of a man sweat buckets as he stood before Zuko who was less than a quarter of his height. If it were any other person, Zhao would laugh and deem the giant a coward, to be scared of a little boy.

"Nephew, how about we take a break for today?" The voice of the Great Dragon of the West put ease into the men.

"Yes, remember that too much training will only be harmful for the body." The swordmaster aided the General's claim. They could both tell, much as everyone else that today the Prince was different. The air around him seemed imposing and destructive.

"No need. I have plenty of energy to burn." He said it in a tone that allowed no argument. Although he was still a boy of twelve, he was their future Fire Lord - defying their monarch was unheard of in the Fire Nation.

"The men need rest Zuko, and so do you after last night." Iroh was not dissuaded.

"What I need Uncle, is someone that can put up a decent fight. Unless you're up for it?" The Crown Prince turned to the one man that had killed the last dragon in challenge.

Tension rolled between Uncle and Nephew. Zhao watched in dread. There will be no Royal Fleet if those two fight.

Suddenly sounds of a bell announced itself above and broke the tension. What dropped from the sky was one of the Caldera's firebird. Injured from being captured by the monstrous raven-eagle circling above.

Being the closest, Zhao reached for the letter on the bird and with wide eyes informed, "The Fire Lord reign supreme in crushing the rebellion. All forces are to head to Omashu for war."

The Prince seemed almost eager, not even surprised when he stated, "What are we waiting for? We will change course to Omashu."

"Nephew that is not our mission." Iroh said neutrally. The man finally took the right approach. After all, the boy's mood as of late were as mercurial as the tides themselves.

"Who can say?" The Crown Prince mused. "Mother tends to be at the heart of things."

Iroh was wise to say nothing. Like himself, Piandao gave an appraising eye to the situation before stating, "It could not hurt to check."

Finally! Something to look forward to, Zhao cheered. After wandering like exiles, looking for a ghost of a dead woman, he might be able to procure some accomplishments to be released from this damnation of a journey!

And far, far away from the Crown Prince. Least he discovered what Zhao knew.

* * *

Iroh had been sitting and staring at the candles for hours, unsure of what he should do to make things right. Nested in his hand was an old parchment he founded deep under the crypts of the Fire Temple.

Worries plagued him constantly. Especially from the content of the fading words which he'd hidden near his chest all this time. Iroh cannot bring himself to burn it, in fear what's written is true.

More so, he dreaded to know what had became of the people in the revolt.

He did not want to come back to their burnt bodies and unrecognizable faces. Worse, see the black pits expand…

At the very least, Jian would know what to do. He had given the means to help their escape.

If all goes well, Shiori should be safe.

The White Lotus bonds are strong. The Order wouldn't abandon one of their own. Now he just has to wait for Jeong Jeong's letter to be certain.

* * *

The night breeze felt pleasant on his skin as dust slipped from his fingertips. He's running on borrowed time, it's no wonder he's losing it so fast. It didn't surprise him anymore how he doesn't remember coming up to the deck. Footsteps caught his attention, Zuko put on his mask.

The Prince turned to come face to face with his uncle. Zuko is never one to stay mad at his uncle for long.

"I'm sorry for today." He admitted.

"Tell me Nephew, what has been bothering you?" His uncle looked nothing but concerned. He saw right through him.

Zuko stared into the darkness below. He did not know where to start. Would Iroh even believe him?

"Your mother never told me your nightmares could get this bad." Iroh words shakes him from darker thoughts. His uncle was kind, understanding and too good, far too caring for him to be in the midst of Zuko's problems. Iroh doesn't know the worst of it, Zuko plans to never tell.

The prince tried to keep the bitterness of his words at bay, "Mother doesn't tell people many things."

"You don't truly believe that do you?"

Zuko fisted both his hands, dust and dirt stabbing in his nails. "I don't know what to believe! She doesn't tell me anything!"

Iroh regarded him with solemn eyes weighing his words. "She loves you. She is doing all she can to protect you."

"It doesn't matter what she does. In the end, she can't protect me from myself."

"What are you saying Zuko?" Iroh knew he was missing something here. Zuko's sudden urgencies stemmed more than not being able to find a trace of Ursa anywhere. It was something else.

The Fire Prince looked contrite, "I have less time than I thought, Uncle." He was visibly shaking.

It was hard to comprehend what his nephew was saying. Iroh grasped at straws.

"You don't know that. From what I'd seen, you have a bright future ahead." Zuko did not need to worry, for Iroh was here and so was Piandao and the rest who placed their trusts in the growing prince.

"No, you don't understand." The boy refused to look at him. "It's only a matter of time before it catches up." He surmised.

Iroh was momentary taken aback. "What catches up…?"

Zuko finally glanced back with a ghost like smile and teary eyes that said so little. "Karma," it was spoken so certain as if Zuko knew his fate. "My luck was never good."

Iroh stood speechless. That unsettling feeling came back tenfold, making his stomach twist and turn. He had no time to think before sirens were flashing and a bringer of bad news whispered in his ears.

Another… another had disappeared.

The men were frightened.

The monster that followed them since the beginning, was here. It had been living amongst them all this time. _It was one of them._

"Uncle?" His nephew stared up at him with those piercing golden eyes.

Iroh swallowed hard. The answer was in front of him the whole time. He reached for Zuko's shoulders and squeezed hard. "Listen to me," he said gravely. "I will protect you know matter what. I won't let anything happen to you, but you must tell me everything. Do you understand?" Everything his nephew confessed started making sense when the context hit Iroh right in the face. The parchment close to his chest grip Iroh with a looming fear.

Zuko was wide eyed in surprise. He only nodded with weary eyes.

They had no time, Iroh quickly ushered Zuko to his room and set an alibi. He needed to resolve this somehow, before anyone else could piece it together.

Before more were spirited away.

One way or another, he must protect Ursa's boy. Even from himself.

* * *

 _Zuko sees a rope. He had been seeing it for quite a while. Even in complete darkness the rope was clearly visible. Now in white light it had never been more concrete. Now what stood between him and the rope was a monster he must vanquish._

" _Dad! To what do I owe this honor?" He said in mock joy. He couldn't believe the man appeared to him now. For all Zuko cared, the man could've been beaten to death during the Capitol revolt. A pity disappearances didn't led to death for the Royal family. His certainly didn't._

 _The former Phoenix King laughs, "Forgive my lack of accommodation for the esteemed Fire Lord. But you certainly are thriving in this environment, more so than the palace."_

 _Zuko gives a lazy smile, "That's because I have been treated so well here. Much better than palace life ever did."_

" _Then I am happy for you."_

"Dad," _Zuko narrowed his eyes but made his tone carefree, "You only ever made my life a living hell. What more do you want?"_

 _Ozai retained his composure, "Don't think so much of yourself, Zuko. You, son are a means to an end."_

 _Zuko chuckled condescendingly. "Your children are your pawns, I get that. But what are you pulling all these strings for?"_

" _Even though it disgrace me to think so, you're still my blood. You should know." His father even in casual attire, held an impressive presence that fills the room._

" _A pity your disgrace of a son stole your dear Crown from you then." He blurted. "It's impossible to get it back now." Not with civil war purging the lands and not having fire to bend. Especially not if Zuko's heir is alive._

" _Impossible is when you don't set your mind to it. You're much like me, believe it or not." Ozai spoke nonchalantly as he poured them both a glass of wine. They both know he can't reach for the glass, even if he wanted to. Pains numb best with alcohol._

 _Zuko snarled,_ "I'm nothing like you."

 _Ozai smile knowingly. "The one thing I did not want to admit and your mother deny to see, is that you are. You're willing to go as far as needed to accomplish your goals. You didn't chase the Avatar around the world for nothing. You most certainly made use of your sister's compassion for family as a ticket home." The man drank the red liquid. "You're_ determined _if nothing else."_

" _What are you getting at?" Zuko hissed, his voice raw from disuse._

 _Ozai rolled his eyes as if he was speaking to a child. "We're the same. You and I." The former king swirled his glass of red. "There are ways to get what you want. It only depends on how far you're willing to go."_

 _Comprehension hit Zuko faster than Azula's lightning._

" _You're kidding me…" He clenched his hands until they bleed. "You fucking screwed your country over because you didn't want me on the throne?"_

 _Ozai pinned Zuko down on his high seat. "I would rather destroy a dynasty than let you have it." The words should not have hurt, but it did._

" _You would watch it fall." Zuko couldn't believe this. What kind of man does this?_

" _If it's not mine, it's not worth saving." His father finished the glass in his hand and look to his. The man held his cup in a mocking gesture before drowning it down._

 _His chain rattled, his fury exploded. If only he could bend, then the monster before him would mean nothing, be nothing! "How can you do this!"_

 _Ozai laughs finding his pain funny. "You foolish boy!" The man eyes gleam in mirth, "Let me tell you something. It was your mother who taught me everything that I am today."_

" _Lies," he hissed with venom._

" _What was it she always said?" The man doesn't seemed to pay Zuko any attention. "Ah! if you want to remain clean, you learn to wash yourself with dirty water. That was a saying she loves to repeat."_

 _Zuko shakes his head furiously in disbelief._

" _You might be more like her than me." Ozai started anew. "You pretend not to see, so you don't have to deal with it. And when things gets bad, you run. And people says I'm cruel." The former king looks at him as if he was less than an insect._

 _"No..." He shakes his head in denial. "NO!"_

 _"She knew Azula's situation, did you know that?"_

 _"W-wha?" Zuko is wide eyes._

 _"And I think you sense it too. But you did nothing, nothing for Azula. She trusted you to bring you back home. And you repaid her by stabbing her in the back and incarcerating her in an asylum." The man leans his cheek on his fist as he has one leg over the over sitting regally as if he was still Fire Lord. "Then you asked why she became like that when you perfectly knew why."_

 _"N-no... no I don't know... I don't know!" Zuko shut his eyes tightly and shakes his head in a panic. Fears turned into frustration and then rage._

 _"_ _You did that!_ _You're the real monster!" He shouted. "I should've slain you when I had the chance!"_

 _Ozai gave him a measured stare, "A monster I might be, but I was never a traitor nor coward enough to lie to myself." Ozai paused, what he said next really stuck a cord, "That woman is a far worse monster than I am."_

" _Stop bringing mom into this!"_

" _But isn't she the root of all this? The catalyst to everything."_

" _She was your doom. You have abandonment issues because of her. Isn't that why you betrayed everyone you knew? You would rather throw them away than be thrown away - and look at you now." Ozai shook his head in disappointment._

 _Zuko was weeping now. He was horrified that he was reduced to crying in front of the one person he never wanted to show his tears._ _"Why are you doing this?" He whimpers out._

" _Have you not been paying attention? Truly, what a useless child."_

 _Each word hit Zuko like a burn to the face._

 _His father after a long silence admitted, "Breaking something will get you something."_

" _And what is... that?" He uttered in the most pathetic voice he could muster. Usually when they think you're defeated, they let down their guards._

 _Ozai chuckled not giving anything away, "You're learning."_

 _Zuko sneered, "You don't want power, it's another pawn of yours." If he can't pull, he shall push!_

 _Ozai perked a brow. "What makes you say that?"_

" _Because you wouldn't toss it aside so easily."_

" _So you have been listening." The former king raised his glass in mock cheer._

" _The Fire Nation is a means to an end and so is wanting to be Phoenix King." Zuko finished._

" _Captivity has taught you well." The man who almost charred the Earth Kingdom to a crisp stood and towered above him. "And what do I get from all that?"_

 _Zuko eyes widened. Even now… even without bending powers, even as a fugitive, without a crown and an army - Ozai was still… he had never stopped searching._ Mother.

 _His father all along - even after being tossed from power, had been rebuilding, manipulating desires and stirring civil war all so he could become Phoenix King all for -_

" _Why?" He croak out._

 _Ozai looks through him, somewhere far and distant. "If you live long enough, you'll find yourself a villain." The man pats his head for the first time in a long time, his voice sounding nostalgic and almost sad. "In due time everyone must do their duty. Heroes are never meant to live long."_

 _Ozai stroked his greasy hair, the man leaned down and whispered in his ear, "You must die for me as your sister will soon." The man traced the tears from his face and Zuko wanted nothing more than to ripe the face of the damnation of his life. Scarring the man like how he had scarred him his whole life. A curse that kept him bound to an unforgiving madness._

 _He tried, but the man pulled back too quick, too soon._

 _Zuko felt his chains tightening as the electricity spazzed through his body in painful shock waves. He's taking large gulp of air chained to a torturer device as if talking to his father wasn't torture enough. The feeling of chilling water beneath clung to his ankles, slowly raises as if it will pull him down any second. Still he manages, "w-what do you want... which you don't already...have...?"_

 _"I think you know child." His father_ _clasp_ _his cheek. Zuko is too weak to resist. "You desire it too."_

 _The rope appeared in front of him again. For the first time, he debated whether he should take it. He should bite off his tongue and put a dent in his father's grand plan. But he doesn't when Ozai announces he has his son._

 _The rope was gone and so was his only way out._

* * *

TBC...

 **Flower symbolism:**

Azalea leaves: poisonous. Used in Azulon's assassination.

Snapdragon: lies and deceits

Magnolia: Perseverance

Lavender heather: feelings of solitude, loneliness

Fire lily: hatred

Red rose: love, affection

White lily: devotion to the cause and flowers used in Asia for funerals.

Next chapter will be a 0.5 chapter. Then chapter 10 will be a game changer! R&R for faster updates :)


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